Switching Sides
by TimeLordOfPie
Summary: A part-time companion to the Doctor falls through a rift in space/time, her scientific mind is challenged by the existence of magic and met with adventures completely different from what she has encountered before.
1. Chapter 1

Feeling the pressure of running out of time is unusual for me, and thus extremely annoying. Ever since _that man_ showed up in my life I've been able to drop everything, make a side trip to somewhere impossible, and still be at work before anyone else. But I'm a distraction, the one he runs to when his other, more regular, companions are caught up in their own everyday lives. Lately he's been stopping by less and less. He's changed several times, and his stories of his adventures without me have gotten darker.

Not that his adventures _with_ me are without danger, but he's never had to reset the universe on my watch, just saying. Just like with every other companion, I'm sure, he has left his mark on me and my life. Where once there was a sparse apartment littered with scientific works and notes there are now novels and little keepsakes. I never would have had rocks from the moons of far off planets if it weren't for him. I also would never have purchased, never mind read, half the books now littering the place. Harry Potter was something I had particularly avoided, it was devoid of reason, guided my magic and legend, things that had no place in my structured existence. But after an expression like I had kicked a puppy and the tale of how 'Expelliarmus' had saved Shakespeare I agreed to try it.

I agreed to try many things because of him, and I went many places, in many time periods. I was used to the unusual, took it in stride, _craved_ it. So when on my way to work, laptop bag thrown over my shoulder, coffee in hand, I saw a rip in the universe down a back alley I didn't hesitate. I didn't get close to it, I wasn't an idiot, I knew what happened the last time these appeared. I probably made a strange sight, standing there gaping at the rift. Skinny jeans, a plain black long sleeved shirt, brilliant red converse, laptop bag, and coffee in hand I looked like a college student at the very most.

My brown hair was short and done in a ponytail, still slightly wet from my shower. In my hurry this morning I had forgotten my cellphone. I was regretting this. I didn't want to step away from the rift long enough to find a payphone where I could call in the Doctor. Someone needed to stay here and make sure no idiot got themselves erased from reality. Plus, I was unsure if a normal payphone would reach him. My phone was of the special variety that could reach through time and space. A payphone most likely would not cut it. I was itching to launch myself into the investigation of all of this, not particularly caring if I didn't show up for work at all today because of this. Perhaps if I waited long enough for the crowd to thin out-

I took one step away from the rift, intending to check and see how many people were still out and about this fine Montana morning, when I felt a tug at my left ankle, the one that was still slightly sore from that run in with the Sontarans on Tarmen VI. I blinked in surprise, and the next thing I knew I was looking at stars.

My brain came up with the automatic conclusion that the rift lead to open space and that I had 15 seconds left to live. There were worse ways to go, I suppose. Worse views to have as a last sight. It was a fitting end, really, for a companion to the Doctor to die in space. And how uncreative is that name, anyway? 'Space'. Seriously. It's like calling every part of your house 'room', rather than 'kitchen' or something. It's very vague. All thoughts on the naming aside I was slightly disappointed in all this. My mother had always said that chasing my science would get me nowhere but dead in a ditch. In a way she was right, but hell if this isn't the best sort of ditch to die in.

I was contemplating why the stars were moving past me so quickly if I was just floating around, when I hit something. Hard. The little breath I still had was knocked out of me, and I was sent tumbling. I stayed on the ground where I was, sucking in air and confused as to how that was possible. When I had composed myself enough to look around I was lost. Not Montana. Not a foreign planet. The cars were driving the wrong way, yeah, but that doesn't exactly scream 'mars'. It does scream 'UK', though. That was useful, the Doctor frequented there. If the rift was dropping people off randomly in his prime territory then it was likely his readings would lead him to me soon enough and I would be given a lift back home after all this was over. Hell, maybe I could sight see while I was here.

I shifted myself to a sitting position, rubbing at the knot on the back of my head, a side effect of my rough landing. It was strange how calm I could remain at this, but honestly, stranger things have happened to me. Getting transported to a country I've always wanted to visit in the modern era on a day when I wasn't feeling like working anyway was no problem at all. The universe was giving me mandated vacation time, and who was I to tell the universe no?

There was likely to be issue with the authorities if they got here before the Doctor, but I didn't doubt that he'd show up eventually. The various governments of the world had me on file as affiliated with him, I had some measure of diplomatic immunity due to that. No worries. So why did I have a bad feeling about this?

That was answered for me when there's was a disconcertingly loud crack, followed by the appearance of four individuals wearing flowy black garments that tickled my memory slightly. Not good. They appeared human enough, all middle aged men, one with no hair at all, two balding and the youngest one who was still keeping his, greying though it was. Baldy had a large nose and a sneer, also a short stick that he was pointing directly at my face. I crossed my eyes to look at the tip of it, most likely looking extremely stupid in the process. Not that I cared, I had a set number of examples to work off to show how to act in a situation like this. It wasn't even a gun.

I uncrossed my eyes, looking up at the guy, giving the stupidest grin in my repertoire.

"Hello."

Baldy grimaced, voice higher than I had anticipated.

"Get up, you're making a scene. How stupid can you be, apparating like that into the middle of London." The grumbling continued but silenced at the confused look on my face. Apparate? Like, as in Harry Potter style apparate? They did appear out of nowhere...no, magic, not a thing. In all our travels we've seen _science_ , not magic, at play. The bald man's cohorts weren't looking as sure of themselves as they had before. One of the balding ones, the oldest of the group, turned to the bald man,

"Leon,maybe it's a muggle."

It? I am not an 'it' thank you. Before I could protest the youngest one stepped forward, waving his very own stick at me. This one was longer than 'Leon's', made of a much darker wood. The man frowned, stepping back.

"Can't be a muggle, too many readings. This ones been around some serious magic for a while, I'm getting all kinds of things, time energy mainly."

I raised a hand like I was in class, waving it slightly. The balding man rolled his eyes, but there was a small smile on his face.

"Yes my dear?"

I put my hand down,

"What's going on?"

The man looked back to his youngest cohort,

"Maybe she's with the American Ministry, I hear they have quite the division for research into time turners. Goes no where of course, but it exists all the same."

Leon glanced down at where I was watching them, absently fiddling with the strap to my laptop bag. My coffee had been lost in transit, which I was starting to lament.

"I still agree that this one is a muggle."

I raised my hand again, and the same wizard pointed to me, looking amused.

I put my hand down, deciding that playing along was the best way to stay safe in this case. For all I knew it was a planet that resembled Earth, with a species that resemble humans, the sticks were tricorder like objects, and muggle was some sort of slave that I should avoid being labeled as.

"What's a muggle?"

Leon looked back to the other men, his face practically screaming 'I told you so' but the younger man stepped closer to me before pausing. He knelt down on my level, revealing he had serious grey eyes and a birthmark on the left side of his neck.

"How did you get here, miss? Can you tell me your name?"

I nodded,

"My name is Marissa, Marissa Swift, and I...I don't remember."

That seemed like my best bet. If this really was somewhere with magic then I didn't want to be branded a muggle, obliviated, and tossed out somewhere I had no history and no past, and then not remembering how I got there enough to find a way back. However, if this was a practical joke, most likely with the Doctor behind it, then I was going to strangle him for making a fool out of me and putting me through this.

The young man looked skeptical,

"You don't remember?"

I nodded cheerily, glancing around at them.

"Nope. Do I know you guys?"

His eyes narrowed and he swiped his wand/stick at me again, this time sighing in exasperation.

"She's hit her head, most likely when she landed. Probably an apparition gone wrong. If she's really from America that would explain it. Attempting to apparate overseas is near impossible, add youth and a head injury and it's a miracle she knows her own name. We should get her to St. Mungos."

St Mungos. Wizarding hospital. In a book. I was still unsure of this, but it's not like it was completely impossible. I've seen some shit in my life, ending up in the Wizarding World of Harry Potter, most likely would not be the weirdest. It'd be in the top ten, but definitely not the weirdest. The young man grasped my upper arm, hauling me up easily.

"You're a bit on the light side, Miss Swift."

I nodded my head cheerily.

"I run. A lot."

Understatement. The Doctor did the math one day about how much we ran on average per adventure. He told me I didn't want to know. His expression was enough to make me leave it alone.

The man turned to Leon,

"Should we side along Apparate her? I don't know what that could do to a head injury and with her recent incident-"

Leon waved his hand in the air,

"Just take her. We'll stay here and see to obliviating whoever saw this girls blunder."

There was no warning other than a quick 'hold on' and I couldn't breathe. It was mostly like the books described it, and the severely claustrophobic sensation wasn't one I wanted to repeat any time soon. I sank to my knees on arrival, taking in the sight of a new floor under my feet. Gone was the pavement of a back alley in London. Now it was all smooth tile and the scent of disinfectant.

It was real then. Magic was real. I was in the Wizarding World. I could hear someone trying to talk to me, but my breath wasn't coming back to me, I couldn't respond. I had enough time to think about how the excited the Doctor would have been to be here before the loss of air got to me. I was seeing spots, gasping for air like a fish when someone shoved something down my throat. It was slimy and tasted absolutely terrible. Blackness was near instantaneous. I didn't have time to protest.

 **A cliche way to end a chapter, but it would make sense after what she's been through to pass out. Reviews are welcome.  
Note-This chapter will update much slower than my other fic, River of Opals. **

**~TimeLordOfPie**


	2. Chapter 2

I woke up to the sound of angry muttering beside me, and a small smile crossed my face before the words actually reached me. For a second I was able to pretend that the worried/angry British voice was the Doctor. Then I remembered he was Scottish at the moment. And the voice was female, and muttering about magic.

"Daft men, what were they thinking? Apparating a patient with a head injury, I should have their hearts for dinner those no good Ministry scoundrels!"

I opened my eyes, taking in the sight of a skinny looking older woman fussing around with a bunch of vibrantly colored vials on the table by my bed. I sat up slowly, leaning against the back of the bed. When she didn't notice me still I coughed. Nothing. I coughed a bit louder and she finally turned to me, jumping and cutting off her commentary.

"Oh, Merlin, child, you startled me. Are you feeling alright? How's the head?"

I wasn't able to respond before she pressed cool fingers to my forehead. I felt something like an electric shock travel straight into my brain. The electricity was stopped by the feeling that I had always gotten from being nudged a certain direction by the TARDIS. I was tempted to open my eyes again, when had they shut?, to look for her. But the electricity was spreading, going through every part of me, pain like I had never felt before, and I'd nearly been turned by a Cyberman. It was _worse_ than having your brain nearly ripped out. The woman, probably a nurse of some sort, touched my arm, I felt the electricity spreading there as well. I wanted to protest, to tell her to stop it already, but that guiding force that felt like the TARDIS kept my mouth firmly closed. I felt it then, the shifting.

The slight changing of something inside me. I'd met psychic races, I knew when someone was shuffling around in my head, and I knew the TARDIS very well by now. I was screaming mental questions through the pain, only to be gently hushed, a memory thrust forward from my own mind to calm my questions.

" _How did they do it, though? In the war, how did those creatures survive the sudden change in the world?"_

 _The Doctor, sporting a bow tie and fiddling under the console while telling his story glanced at me before answering._

" _They used Time Lord technology Mara. Something called a Chameleon Arch. I've used it myself. I have one, tied in to the matrix of the TARDIS. Blasts away every cell in your body, rewrites your biology. All you need is a sample and boom! You're the right species to survive wherever you need to go. I used it a bit differently though, did some memory finagling...but that's another story, hand me that thingamagig there by your hand- no your_ _ **other**_ _hand, that's it. Now…"_

The memory faded and I panicked, thrashing my limbs slightly, belated realising that someone had tied me down already and there were several more people hanging around, all muttering moving around my bedside. I tentatively poked the 'TARDIS',

 _Is that what you're doing? Changing me? Why can't you just bring the Doctor here to help me, why do I have to adapt? Why can't I just go home?_

The TARDIS has no real words, no straight voice she can use, even telepathically, although the Doctor tells me she had a body once. Now however she was only able to feed me the emotion of sadness, and a feeling of disconnection, along with one last memory.

" _It's the TARDIS, in your mind. Set's up the translation matrix, helps you understand things, keeps things safe during your travels."_

" _Safe? Safe from what?"_

" _Aren't concerned about her being in your head? I've had rows over that."_

" _Beautiful alien technology in my head whispering the answers? Why should I complain?"_

" _Knew I liked you for a reason. Come on, the ambassadors going to eat all the cookies."_

The piece of the TARDIS that remains in my mind, but if she was disconnected from the Doctor and couldn't reach him did that mean I was well and truly separated from him? From Earth? The Doctor could travel to different planets, he could go anywhere. Well except Manhattan, but again, different story. Did that mean alternate reality? It would explain the rip, the traveling, and the Wizardry, but how did it get there? My brainstorming was interrupted by my small piece of TARDIS thoughtwave sending a brief impression of apologizing. Then the pain was overwhelming.

Waking up was infinitely more difficult the second time and it took me a moment to figure out why. Chameleon Arch equation, functioning on the small genetic sample of a medical witch who had been manually checking my temperature. I was alone, somewhere I had never been, without identity or any clue of what to do, and the _Doctor wasn't with me_. Sure, I'd been separated from him before, all companions break the 'don't wander off' rule at one point in their travels, at _least_ once. But this was different. Because he wasn't coming to my rescue now. I probably wouldn't see him again unless I used magic to find my way back through the dimensions. Wait-magic. That woman was a witch. The arch changed me to match her kind, did that make me a witch as well?

I didn't know whether to be terrified or ecstatic about this fact. On one hand I had been a scientist for a while, and a defender of logic, but on the other-this was _magic_. The giddy realization that I might be a witch was crushed slightly by the aching in my limbs. Once I had thought my way through enough that I thought I _might_ understand my situation at least a little bit, I forced my eyes open, wincing at the light. The room was typical hospital style, only without the usual monitoring equipment. The chair by the bed was empty and my laptop bag was lying on the floor beside it, my clothes folded neatly on the table beside a glass of water and a vial of something a terrifyingly bright green. I was wearing a loose fitting long sleeved shirt and pants combo, grateful that they both covered the evidence of my adventures with the Doctor. It made me uneasy that someone changed me while I was knocked out, but then again, there was probably a spell for that. The TARDIS key was still around my neck on it's delicate looking chain, the perception filter most likely standing up to magic scrutiny.

The door opened to admit several people, none of whom looked surprised I was awake and sitting up once again. I figured they must have had some sort of spell in place to let them know and giggled internally. _Spells_. Who knew that after taking all sorts of aliens in stride I would struggle slightly with things I had been familiar with in stories for years. The first man in line was a doctor, no doubt about that. His no nonsense attitude and white attire attested to that. The second man was an unknown, but the third was familiar. Last I'd seen him he'd been on a movie screen. The way he was twisting that hat was familiar as well, but my mind was struggling to accept that this would really be Cornelius Fudge. For one thing, he wasn't in any sort of position to end up here by the end of the books, where did that put me in the timeline? Were the books even reliable? And another thing, if he _was_ the minister at the moment, why was he in my hospital room?

The doctor swept closer, waving his wand over me. I followed it's path curiously, only looking back to him when he spoke.

"I am Healer Bowman. You've been in an apparition related incident and are now currently residing in St Mungos Hospital in London. I am going to ask you a few questions and I want you to answer them to the best of your ability. Do you understand?"

I glanced at his two companions, noting that Fudge still looked nervous and the short skinny man beside him looked unimpressed. I turned back to Bowman and nodded.

"Alright then. What is your name?"

"Marissa Swift."

Where are you from?  
"Helena, Montana. United States of America."

"When were you born?"

"I…"

What year is it anyway? When would I have to be born to be my real age now? I couldn't very well say the real date, that hasn't happened yet if Fudge is Minister. And that was looking more likely because of the way he was dressed, professionally with the materials being expensive looking.

I looked down at my knees, staring at them in concentration for several seconds of silence before I looked back up at the healer.

"I don't know. November maybe? Why don't I know?"

The thin man beside Fudge was scrawling something down on a clipboard, using a quill, with Fudge looking at it worriedly. The healer didn't answer, moving on instead.

"Don't worry about it for the moment, we'll go back to that later. Next question, can you tell me your wand core?"

I gave him a look I'd seen the Doctor utilize several times, a look that screamed "You're the stupidest thing on this planet at the moment".

"I'm not sure I follow. Wand? Like...magic wand?"

Bowman nodded and I changed the look to pure confusion.

"What are you talking about, there's no such thing as magic."

There was a pause, the man scribbling on his clipboard looked up at Fudge for several for several seconds before going back to his scribbling. Bowman didn't pause, instead moving on one again.

"Tell me, what did your parents do for work when you were a child?"

I narrowed my eyes, unsure where this was going. He waved a hand at me dismissively,

"Relax child, checking long term memory is standard. Now answer the question please."

I tilted my head to the side,

"My mom was an art teacher at the local elementary school, I didn't know my Dad."

He nodded, as if he knew this already and was just making sure.

"And your mothers name?"

"Allison."

"And Swift is your father's-"

"No, it's my mother's maiden name. Again, didn't know my Dad."

The healer nodded, glancing back at Fudge, who had sunk down slightly to make himself smaller.

"Well there you go, Minister. Proof's in the pudding, as they say. Your people apparated with a muggle born witch fresh out of an apparition accident and knocked the memory of magic straight out of her head."

No. It can't be that easy for me. There's no way. The Ministry of Magic is portrayed as incompetent and prone to assumption in the books, but there is no way they are this stupid. That was a children's novel, this is real. They can't be that stupid. Or is this a possible conclusion based on their facts? Did the TARDIS mess with their heads while she was dicking around with my biology? Or did that good luck that evaded me in the presence of the Doctor suddenly pop back up now that he wasn't here?

The 'Minister' fumbled with his hat, gesturing to me vaguely,

"Well, the girl's muggleborn, as you said. Can't we just leave her with the muggles? They have contingencies for when people forget themselves. She doesn't remember magic, can't we just obliviate this talk and be done with her?"

The slow turns and incredulous looks from the other wizards in the room told him no. Bowman glared down at the man, crossing his arms.

"She has rights. Muggleborn or not, American or not. Your administration is to blame for her condition, you are required to fix it _Minister_. Or do you want the Daily Prophet getting wind of this?"

Oooh, a doctor who cares about the patient rather than the money. That's nice for me, not so much for Fudge. I watched the two of them, doing my best to look neutral rather than amused. The small man to Fudge's right cleared his throat, bringing our attention to him. He turned watery, narrowed eyes to the man.

"As the representative for the Justice department I have to agree with Healer Bowman. The ministry is responsible for her recovery."

Sweet cheese, it _was_ the Doctors bad luck that got us in all that shit, because so far, none of the usual things have gone wrong to me. No one has tried to kill me, steal my face, or rip out my soul. All in all, better than usual.

Fudge looked lost, and slightly annoyed, muttering to himself.

"Of all the times for that man to take a vacation, it had to be when the muggleborn lost her memory."

I didn't have time to think about this because the Minister stepped forward, giving me a false fatherly smile.

"Do you know how old you are, dear?"

I deadpanned,

"24."

The three in the room looked taken aback and Fudge swore quietly,

"There goes my chances of sending her to Hogwarts." He froze for a second before turning to the man beside him,

"Can I legally send her there? Remedial education is basically the same as having forgotten it all in the first place."

The Healer didn't get a chance to chime in, the man next to Fudge was shrugging.

"That would be up to the Headmaster, of course. I'm versed in general magical law, not the fine points of the school rules of Hogwarts."

He quickly excused himself to 'send an owl'. The lawyer went with him, leaving me with a stewing healer. I tugged gently on the edge of his sleeve to get his attention. When he looked at me I raised an eyebrow,

"What's going on here?"

The healer sighed, pulling up the chair and sitting with a huff.

"Since the Minister is going to neglect his responsibilities I suppose I'll give you the rundown."

Bowman had to turn a vase into a bird in order for me to 'believe' that magic was real. I was given the horrible electric green 'potion' and left alone with my thoughts after a while, advised to get some rest. Sleep was impossible. I was more than a little worried about the future. Going to Hogwarts...on one hand, it was _Hogwarts_ and I couldn't pass up a chance to visit there. On the other hand, it was a school for children and teenagers. I would be stupidly out of place. I wasn't lying, 24 years old was more or less accurate, even if legally I was closer to 23 rather than almost 25. Traveling with the Doctor does things like that to your age, or your perception of it. I fell into the Magarthian 'fountain of youth' once, and we _still_ hadn't figured out if that was going to affect me in any way. The Doctor reckoned it was a fake, a placebo of sorts. But then again, the Doctor lies.

I had time to wonder extensively about the Hogwarts issue, finally deciding in the end that it wouldn't matter anyway because Dumbledore (if he was Headmaster at the moment) was going to refuse Fudge just out of principle.

By the time the Healer returned (and it was a relief to say healer the title Doctor was taken in my mind) I had moved on to pondering what other options they would have for me. Bowman was scowling when he entered, not that it was unusual for him I had deduced, but it was slightly fiercer than earlier.

"The Minister has decided _not_ to inform the American's about your presence and attempt to help you recover your memories before getting them involved."

I raised an eyebrow, leaning back against the pillows.

"So he's hiding the fact he fucked up until there's no longer _proof_ that he fucked up?"

Bowman let out a startled sounding snort, examining me for a second before nodding.

"Yes, something like that." He seemed to shake himself before continuing.

"Our expert took a look at your magical core, and everything looks stable at the moment. There was a massive fluctuation in your magical core shortly after you woke for the second time, but everything seems to have settled down now. It was probably caused by the same thing that lead to your apparition deviation."

I just stared at him blankly and waited for him to finish. I was used to occasionally, or more than occasionally really, having to nod along while someone rambled specialized knowledge into my ear. This was nothing compared to the thermonuclear physics of that one planet where up was down and no one had ears.

He sighed,

"Everything will settle down quicker once we you can get your control back. There was some accidental magic when you were asleep and your core was still equalizing. It will get better when you have a wand and can relearn some of the control you got in school."

I managed to keep a straight face, nodding slightly. He must have noticed something off in my expression because he patted my shoulder lightly.

"Don't worry Miss Swift. It will make sense when your memories start to return. And if they don't...well, I'm sure they will."

That would have been no help at all if I was really suffering from amnesia. But I let him get out his many reassurances, him talking at me for a while until the door opened, admitting a slightly flustered but grinning Fudge followed by a tall woman in maroon robes with her hair tightly bound in a severe bun. She was very familiar as well.

Fudge practically danced in, motioning towards the woman beside him.

"Miss Smith this is the Deputy Headmistress for Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry, Minerva McGonagall. She's here as a representative from Hogwarts to help with a solution for your...condition."

He made his excuses and was out the door before I could open my mouth. I turned to the professor, smiling sheepishly.

"It's Swift actually. Not Smith. Marissa Swift. I do remember that much."

McGonagall looked me up and down, expression stern but not unkind.

"Well then, Miss Swift, at the request of the Minister we at Hogwarts have agreed to set up a tutoring schedule in attempt to help you regain your memories of magic. We have gained permission from the Minister to house you at Hogwarts, where you will have access to the library and whatever teachers remain on campus. I am to take you to Diagon Alley where we shall purchase what you need for your lessons."

I sheepishly raised my hand like I was in class, feeling that this was happening all too often lately. There was a small smile on her face when she inclined her head towards me.

"Yes Miss Swift?"

I put my hand down, looking up at her nervously,

"Well, I don't really have much money on me. If I do it will all be American currency…"

 _And most likely not valid yet. This is just like when I tried to use a dollar bill from 2012 in 1961…_

McGonagall shook her head, small smile still present.

"No worries dear, the Ministry is being kind enough to help fund most of what you need. If you would like to earn anything extra you are allowed to go to Hogsmeade, the village near Hogwarts, and get a part time job if you so wish."

Oh, _allowed_ am I?

I didn't comment on their assumption that they were in control of me, letting it lie. Biting the hand that feeds you and all that. So I nodded, looking thoughtful,

"When were you planning on leaving?"

The Healer pulled my clothes from behind him on the table, converse lying on top of the pile.

"We're getting rid of you right at this moment, Missy, get changed."

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes, taking the close and nodding to the Professor. I slid down off the side of the bed and caught the surprised look on McGonagall's face as I went by. I'm a bit under five feet tall, and a bit on the scrawny side because all the running. I closed the door to the bathroom behind me, seeing McGonagall turning to speak in lowered voices with the Healer. They were probably conspiring against me about those stupid potions.

I dressed quickly, noticing there were disposable grooming products in little pouches. After I brushed my hair and teeth the little utensils sealed themselves up again and vanished. I spent a second to wonder about the waste of resources, where it went, and why I couldn't just keep them before pushing my way out of the bathroom. I had redone my ponytail, and the dirt from falling was gone from my clothes, even the bottom of my shoes. Probably spelled away. I took another second to be bitter about the dirt on the bottom of my shoes. That was from home, and several other planets, those jerks.

McGonagall was waiting for me when I exited, glancing over my outfit, raising an eyebrow.

"Is this what muggles wear these days?"

I looked over myself, checking the time period in my head before shrugging.

"I'm American. European 'muggles' probably dress slightly differently."

She took that explanation easily, motioning me out the door in front of her. Healer Bowman had disappeared sometime before I exited the bathroom so it was just me and the Professor as she led the way through the hospital. I grabbed my laptop bag, throwing it over my shoulder before following.

"We're going to be traveling to the Alley by Floo, the Healers recommend you avoid apparating for a while. Floo is the linking of fireplaces. I shall explain more when we arrive at the Floo point. Are there any questions you have for me in the meantime?"

I stayed silent for a few seconds, weighing what someone who would have asked had they had no knowledge of this world whatsoever.

"Can you...tell me about this...Hogwarts, was it?"

So while she marched through the halls I was treated to the basic explanation, a list of subject offered, who taught what, an explanation of the houses and a promise to see a game of Quidditch. I listened with half an ear while examining the hospital around me. The scientist in me was screaming, my mental version of the Doctor freaking out in a good way, and outwardly I eyed the maladies with vague interest. I did my best not to stare, perfectly aware of what they would be feeling at the moment. There were several occasions where the Doctor and I had run into trouble because of the various odd features we had taken too long a look at.

I was probably free to 'subconsciously' accept some of this as not too unusual because of a 'magical' background, when actually it would come from experience with the extraterrestrial rather than supernatural. Speaking of Supernatural, all of my shows, I was going to miss the new episodes. That was depressing. Not as depressing as never seeing the Doctor again, but I pushed that to the back of my mind, it happens to every companion eventually, after all. But none of us ever really expect it to come so soon…

It took longer than I thought to reach the room filled with fireplaces, and I was given a swift and concise explanation and a handful of sparkling green powder. McGonagall showed how it was done, promising to meet me on the other end. I took a deep breath, praying my American accent wouldn't screw me over like Harry's stutter/cough had.

"Diagon Alley!"

 **A bit strange of a way to explain what's going on, but with the stuff that happens on Doctor Who, this seems plausible. Stranger things have happened.**

 **~TimeLordOfPie**


	3. Chapter 3

Crashing into a seedy looking bar, 'pub', whatever, covered in soot is not the way I wanted to be introduced into the Wizarding World. But long experience with stumbling out of semi-crashing spacecraft let me roll to my feet easily enough, eyes roaming to take in everything. No one was staring, probably used to people popping randomly out of the fireplace. McGonagall was looking at me strangely,

"Do you think you were involved with sports of some sort?"

Ah, popped up a little too easily then. I shrugged,

"I run. A lot. I remember that. I think mostly I was running _from_ things…"

The understanding look should have set off red flags, but the fact is that this is a woman who rides feral writing desks into battle.

She pushed her way easily through the small crowd, nodding occasionally to those that greeted her. A few taps to the brick and the doorway opened. I stared at it with suitable awe, trying my best to ignore the smell from the garbage bins. They should really rethink the location for the entrance to their secret society.

She swept through the entrance, not giving me much time to stop and stare, pushing past several stores, including one filled with books that I wanted to stop and wander through. We walked straight to the largest building in the Alley, McGonagall explaining all the way about goblins, banks, and the money use. I couldn't help but grin as we entered the bank, eyes wandering over the goblins, taking in non-human creatures with ease. I stopped in front of the poem, grinning once again. The Doctor would have been bouncing by now, Scottish and angry or not.

 _Enter, stranger, but take heed_

 _Of what awaits the sin of greed,_

 _For those who take, but do not earn,_

 _Must pay most dearly in their turn,_

 _So if you seek beneath our floors,_

 _A treasure that was never yours,_

 _Thief, you have been warned, beware_

 _Of finding more than treasure there._

I was probably drawing attention from grinning like an idiot, but that was never a problem for us. The Doctor used to do it often enough. It was probably best for everyone to assume I'm off my rocker from the beginning, makes for less surprises later. McGonagall marched us right up to a goblin that wasn't busy with a customer, addressing him directly in her no nonsense manner.

"I'm here to make a withdrawal from a Ministry account."

The goblin looked up from his work, expression slightly annoyed if anything.

"Do you have a key?"

He didn't look like he expected an affirmative, going back to his work.

McGonagall's expression didn't change, she simply drew a letter from what seemed like nowhere. The goblin took his sweet time opening it, as well as reading it. I amused myself by 'people watching'. The bank was semi-busy, with people bustling around, speaking amongst themselves. One rather unremarkable man was arguing with a goblin that was having none of it. I was watching the drama play out, wondering what method they would use to toss him out on his ass when McGonagall touched my shoulder lightly.

"Are you alright dear?"

I looked up at her, noticing out goblin had run off somewhere while I was distracted. I nodded, smile not going anywhere.

"Fine. There's just so much to see…"

The Professor explained many of the things happening around us, including some of the things people were wearing while we were waiting for the goblin to return. It took nearly a half hour, we were well into the day and I was wondering if the people at the hospital had fed me some sort of potion in place of food, because I wasn't particularly hungry, even after most of the day had passed. He tossed a medium sized bag down on the counter, shoving a piece of parchment towards McGonagall.

"The exact amount specified from the Ministry, sign here for it."

She was handed a plain quill, which she used to sign. The paper did nothing dramatic, it was simply snatched up and tucked in between the pages of the giant book the goblin had been writing in when we approached. McGonagall took the bag, nodding in thanks before ushering me away. The goblin's' eyes met mine and I smiled, nodding as well. There was no visible reaction, but I wasn't expecting one.

Exiting the bank we were faced with a large group of people clamoring to enter, McGonagall grabbed my wrist, pulling me to the side with her while we waited for the mob to pass. I watched them go by, glancing up at the clocktower to check the time. A little after five. Group of people getting off work then, most likely. I was pulled through the streets to Madame Malkin's first. I watched a magical tape measure go to work while Mcgonagall stood beside me.

"I was informed that you have no garments with you but what you wore on arrival into the country. Being that it's muggle clothing, I was informed I should acquire wizarding robes for you. Only the simple, traditional black, I'm afraid, but that should be all you'll need for now in any case."

Magic meant that I had three copies of the exact same fitted wizarding outfit within the next twenty minutes. Leaving the shop the Professor kept up a running commentary on the various shops and what we were going to get.

"You shouldn't need anything from the apothecary, Severus shall have anything you need for basic lessons. The pet shop as well, pets are not the priority at the moment. You may owl order anything you need from Flourish and Blotts, but at the moment I believe everything you need can be found in the library at Hogwarts."

Everything was along the same vein until we reached a dusty old shop that looked familiar.

Ollivanders.

Professor McGonagall held the door open for me, and we both entered into dusty silence.

"I'm told you arrived without your wand. It was assumed that it was lost in transit, which resulted in your accident. A wand is one of the most important things a witch can own. I expect you take better care of this one."

I nodded earnestly before looking around the shop, waiting for the creepy man to pop up. And he did.

"Minerva, how nice to see you again. Taking care of your wand, or are you here for a replacement?"

McGonagall shook her head, smiling.

"No such thing, of course. Miss Swift here was met with an unfortunate accident that took her wand from her. We're simply here for a replacement."

Ollivander turned his gaze to me, looking me over.

"I don't recognize you child. You didn't get your first wand from me, did you?"

"No, sir." _Not yet._

He nodded his head rapidly,

"Yes, yes, American then, that explains it."

 _Is it really that obvious?_

He walked around me, holding a tape measure.

"What was the core for your first wand then?"

Before I could respond McGonagall cut in.

"We were hoping to start over from scratch, if you don't mind."

He raised an eyebrow at her, obviously not convinced. But he didn't comment, instead heading to the back room and coming back with a plain black box. Give this a try then. Unicorn hair, 11 and ¾ inches, holly."

It didn't like me. Neither did the oak and dragon heartstring wand, nor the holly and phoenix feather. Finally, I found one that let out sparks, getting curiously warm in my hand. It was light colored, a sort of deep beige, and was mostly smooth and straight, with slight ridges in the handle area. It was hard for me to believe that I was the owner of a magical wand, that a tool for magical power had chosen me. I tried to ignore the symbolism behind that it was the thirteenth. Same as my last Doctor.

Ollivander rang it up for us,

"Interesting combination, that. Hazel, 10, inches, hard and unyielding, phoenix feather. This is the third phoenix feather wand in as many years. Most unusual. Usually those types are picky, spacing out wands sold with their cores with decades in between."

I picked up that little tidbit of knowledge like I do most tidbit, filing it away in the Bermuda Triangle of my mind where it would pop up to the surface sometime randomly in the future. Or not at all. Getting out of the Alley was simple enough, with me clutching the box with my wand in it as if it might disappear. McGonagall was watching me do so in amusement, but not bothering to admonish me on it. We entered the Leaky Cauldron through the back, with McGonagall taking a moment to chat with the owner, Tom, while I 'people watched' once again.

Traveling with the Doctor left an impact on my thought process, I watched how people moved, interacted, dressed, spoke. Something struck me as strange, that I couldn't put a finger on. The entire time in the alley I was unable to figure out exactly what was wrong with the picture I was given. People were running around, talking, going about their business. Perhaps I was just paranoid, after visiting mostly places that had something dark and seedy going on underneath the gilded first glance. I was used to there being corruption, so I actively expected it everywhere.

When McGonagall was done chatting she lead me over to the fireplace.

"We shall be arriving through my office, where I will show you to what shall be your quarters for the duration of your stay. Afterwards I shall escort you to the Staff Room, where whoever is left in Hogwarts shall be eating this evening where you shall be introduced to the Headmaster and your tutors."

I wasn't given a chance to respond before we were both tumbling through the fireplace into a vaguely familiar office. It had been in one of the movies, I think. Very cosy, Gryffindor colors everywhere. We weren't in the office for long, however. The moment I was up on my feet once again she was opening the door, leading me out into a chilly hallway. I was in slight shock, I was at Hogwarts. I was at _Hogwarts_. HOGWARTS.

I was lead to my room in a daze, there was a normal door, made of wood, with a lock on the inside. McGonagall gave me the key for it so I could get back inside, but mentioned that a simple unlocking charm would make it useless anyway. Well, it's not like there was anyone around to steal my stuff. And it's not like I had much to steal. My laptop was useless to everyone in this time period. And I couldn't turn it on at the moment anyway, not until I got good enough with magic to make sure that the aura and junk around Hogwarts didn't fuck with it too much.

As it was, the Doctors 'adjustments' probably kept it protected while it was inactive. My room was actually three rooms, a bathroom, main room, and a bedroom in the back. All were filled with simply, sturdy furniture made of dark sturdy wood and decked in rich red colors. I was being subtly turned over to the Gryffindor way, then. I placed my things on top of the desk, ducking into the bathroom to change like McGonagall requested. I folded my 'muggle clothes', gently, donning the 'robes'. They were swishy and only slightly less uncomfortable than I had at first assumed. There was a rather nice inside pocket on the front of the robe/jacket/thing that kept my wand close to my heart and within reach. Not like that it was any use to me at the moment, I knew the spell sin theory, but had never cast one in my life. My magic was worse than useless at the moment.

I took my hair down, brushing it out with the brush that had come in the little bag of grooming utensils we'd gotten in Diagon Alley. McGonagall led me to the Staff Room, pointing out which classrooms were what, which hallway lead where, and offering several facts about the many moving, talking paintings that we passed. I watched them with interest, grinning and nodding when I was acknowledged by any of them. McGonagall paused in front of the heavy wooden door we were headed towards, looking me in the eye, expression unreadable.

"I understand that you have little to no memory of your life involving magic, I would like you to keep in mind that there are all kinds in the Wizarding world, and that appearances are not everything."

I nodded, smiling, thinking of the many fierce looking races that had been peaceful and filled with artistic genius.

"Yeah, 'don't judge a book by it's cover' and all that."

She nodded sharply,

"Indeed."

And then the door was open and conversation washed over us. What followed was a mob of introductions to several people I could identify at first glance, and only two or three whose names still struck a cord. It was obvious that they had already been informed of my 'memory' issue. The older women were cooing in sympathy, which made up most of the staff. Albus Dumbledore was just as daft in person as in he was portrayed in novels and film, and I was careful to stare at his nose, rather than meet his eyes. Wouldn't do for him to take a trip through my mind and find things from beyond his world.

I had plenty of experience with people rifling through my head, and on more than one occasion I had returned the favor because Mr. Pushy need a shove. However until I had a chance to read up on actual Legilimency I wasn't going to risk it. Poppy Pomfrey was the one who fretted over me the most. She spent several minutes while we were waiting for the food just waving her wand over me and tutting.

"Honestly, apparating with someone who had just _had_ a failed apparition. And a head injury!"

I just watched the wand, smiling wryly. It was a familiar sight, someone muttering to himself (or herself, in this case) while waving a glowing stick at me. True, this one didn't make the noise, and the noise was probably the best part.

"I'm fine, really. Besides the whole...magic thing."

She sighed, giving it one last swipe.

"It's just...unimaginable! Magic, gone from your mind!"

I let her rant, nodding in all the right places, slightly nostalgic smile on my face.

One of the teachers I didn't know spoke up, Babbling I think her name was.

"What I don't understand is how _magic_ of all things could be gone, just... _gone!_ "

I shrugged, leaning back slightly to avoid a wand waving healer.

"Perhaps it's like what Bowman said with the dangers of this...apparating. Splinching I think it was. Amino acids in the brain store memories, maybe I just...left them behind."

There was a pause and silence from the corner of the room I was in before McGonagall spoke.

"Well, I should hope it's not that."

I shrugged,

"If I expect the worst then it happens, I'm right and not surprised. If I expect the worst and the best happens, then I am pleasantly surprised."

At this point the food appeared, startling me slightly. It earned a few chuckles all around, and I eyed the orange drink I was given, knowing what it should be but not quite believing it.

"What might this be?"

Sprout, from my right, glanced at it.

"It's pumpkin juice."

I raised my head slowly to her, raising an eyebrow.

"Pumpkin juice. That...has bad idea written all over it."

I avoided the juice, earning a few more laughs, sticking only to the foods I could recognize. This was going to be a frustrating few months of adaptation.

 **~TimeLordOfPie**


	4. Chapter 4

My lessons actually took on a schedule, much like actual school. I had thought I was done with school when I earned my Masters degree. Apparently not .There was an insane amount to learn, not helped by the fact that I also wanted to research certain things on my own, get the lay of the land so to speak. I was insanely excited to start casting spells and doing magic, thoroughly entranced by all that was now possible.

Honestly, it had _always_ been _possible_ , but it had just never been within my personal reach without some help from the Doctor and his sonic screwdriver. Now I had a tool, more of a friend really, who could help do all of that. My wand was treated with the same care as the key to the TARDIS. I wore that always still, no matter what. I kept in mind how it would grow warm when the TARDIS was near in any way, mindful that if any sort of 'rescue' were possible the Doctor would manage it. And if it wasn't...magic. Not the same type of awe filled discovery I was used to, and I missed many things about my old life, but living in the now was the only way I could think of to cope.

Surprisingly the class I had some of the least trouble with was potions. Since Snape had no grudge against me, other than having to visit the school once a week to tutor my sorry ass, he wasn't as unpleasant with me as he was with Gryffindors. It might also help that I have a degree in chemistry and know my way around a lab.

One such class involved Snape working on his lesson plans at his desk while I was at a table in the classroom, mindlessly preparing the potion that had been assigned. It wasn't exactly the same as my previous job, but it was close enough to become monotonous after a while. One thing however deviated from our usual routine of 'make what's on the board and don't blow us up'. He spoke.

"Perhaps you have some experience with potions."

I froze, I'll admit. There was no movement whatsoever for several seconds. I flicked my eyes up to look at where I could spot the darkly clothed man through the door to his office, still scratching away at his parchment.

"...Pardon?"

I could practically hear the eyeroll.

"There is a certain level of muscle memory to your actions, I've observed over the past few lessons that you don't pay much attention to your actions and yet still turn out decent quality work. Therefore I can only conclude that you have done something of this sort before."

I was silent for several more seconds, but that's not unusual with me in his presence. I often get sidetracked thinking about _what_ I should really think about him. Had I known nothing about him it would be easy to dismiss him as an angry man who was difficult to get along with. However, knowing the full truth makes it difficult. Yes, he's a dick, but he risks his life, faces his greatest fears, and in the end dies for children he doesn't even like.

I blinked at him, tilting my head to the side.

"Yes. I...I think I did…"

I left it there, trailing off and going back to my cauldron as if lost in thought. Snape didn't speak again, and I didn't expect him to.

Even with the occasional unusual thing that was bound to happen in a school for magic, my time there was mostly spent studying, in the same pattern. I went for a run every day in the room of requirement, just to keep the skill like I always did when the Doctor wasn't around. It was getting difficult to keep my distance from the teachers. I wanted to stay away from the plot, to keep from changing things, like the Doctor had always beat into my head. But I was never certain if things would be the same as in the novels. And I had probably already changed things in some sort of way because of the teachers that now visited Hogwarts when normally they would have been home, enjoying their vacation just as much as the students.

I was unable to keep the people around me distant and relatively uninterested in me. Simply because fate hates me. Or something like that. In the despicable heat of the summer my clothes were replaced by House Elves that thought they were being helpful. T-Shirts. The short sleeved kind. There's a reason I don't wear these. Traveling with the Doctor is dangerous, and it leaves its mark. But seeing as it's my skin, I'm used to seeing it. Therefore it didn't really occur to me that wearing a red short sleeved shirt would cause a stir at breakfast that morning in July. I was doing fairly well in my studies, and was pondering one of my theories that linked magic and physics when I sat down to eat with everyone else in the staff room. Meals in the staff room was a normal thing for whoever was in the castle during the summer, seeing as it was a little ridiculous to use the entire Great Hall for a handful of people.

I was still working on my second cup of coffee when I noticed the silence. Not the creepy you-can't-remember-me silence creatures, the lack of sound. I looked around the room for a second before I noticed eyes on me. I raised an eyebrow at a concerned looking Madame Pomfrey. She reached a tentative hand out, brushing against my wrist. Silvery scars scattered around the circumference, with several other marks scattering along in various other areas.

"Do...do you remember where you got these, dear?"

"...yes."

 _Being 'escorted' through a city center, prodded every now and then in precisely the same spot by some sort of electrified rod, searching the crowd desperately for hints of a leather jacket._

 _Waiting for someone to release the manacles, watching through tears for a man in a trench coat, regretting the way I had tugged and struggled for those first few hours, wrists bloody and mangled._

 _Desperate for a glimpse of a bow tie, small creatures with bright coloring attaching spiked tails to my skin, pumping poison through my veins._

 _A Scottish accent piercing through the sound of my own screams, as the clamps from the Cybermen on my arms and head released._

"Do you want to talk about it dear?"

I set down my empty cup of coffee, the small clank echoing in the near silence.

"I'd rather not."

I stood up, the sound of my chair scratching against the stone sounding obscenely loud, and I resisted the urge to wince.

"I'll see you at ten, Professor."

I nodded to McGonagall, and made my way out of the room, shutting the door quietly behind me. That wasn't going to end things. If anything they would be more curious. I should have made up a bullshit excuse, or pleaded amnesia once again. But they would have known I was lying in that case, and it would have cast suspicion upon the whole story.

As it was I had an entire Transfiguration lesson filled with awkward silences and the occasional reassurance that there was always someone there for me. And Runes and Herbology, as well as Astronomy. _That_ class was one I excelled in. Studying what little I didn't know of the stars was something to keep me occupied while the Doctor was away. The only class where I hadn't been directly encouraged to talk had been Potions of course. The bat had just written down the instructions as usual, with a brief, 'Nothing personal leaves this room' that was more reassuring than I care to admit.

It took until the next week for me to finally work out the best solution for this. Snape was Dumbledore's man. If he reassured Dumbledore that there was nothing mysterious and dangerous about my past, then Dumbledore would convince everyone else that it was fine, and to lay off about it. So that's what lead to me talking. Halfway through the lesson I started speaking and Snapes quill stopped dead, before continuing at a slightly slower speed.

"I had a friend once. Traveler. Lost his home to war and disaster. He would travel with others often. I was the one who went with him when his more regular compatriots were busy with their lives. I think my life was boring enough that dropping everything to run somewhere dangerous with him was easy. We got into stupid amounts of trouble, but almost always he was able to talk us out of it, or invent some clever way to freedom. But it was dangerous. And I got hurt. I'm...not made of the same stuff as him. I'm not quite as...strong, would perhaps be the word. Come to think of it, that's probably why he was visiting less and less...I think. Anyway, I suppose that's over now. I'll never see him again."

There was silence for the rest of the class. While Snape was packing away the sample of my potion he paused as I was clearing the table.

"It is always possible that this friend of yours can be found."

I stopped for half a second before moving once again, shouldering my bag.

There was no further comment, and I swept out of the room, throwing one last,

"Have a good day, Professor." behind me on the way.

 **Okay, I'm taking a more realistic stance on the Doctors adventures. He meets dangerous people, and Companions get taken and threatened stupidly often. It's also like him to distance himself for their own good.**

 **~TimeLordOfPie**


	5. Chapter 5

I was correct in the assumption that 'confiding' in Snape would mean that I was going to be left mostly alone. Well, I wasn't bothered about one subject, but I was hardly ever left alone during the day. I had yet to see a House Elf, though. Hagrid had showed up in the Staff Room at one point, scaring the bejesus out of me when I turned around and ran face first into his knee. I squeaked, something I would deny viciously later.

Someone behind me snorted as I looked up, way up, into a face full of beard. We stared at one another for a second before I summoned the part of me that was used to interacting with 'different' looking beings. I grinned,

"Hi."

"Er, Ullo."

There was silence for a few more seconds and McGonagall laughed at me. Laughed! I turned to glare at her, which just made her laugh harder, some of the others in there for breakfast were giggling too. She waved her hand a bit, gasping for air.

"It's nothing dear, don't mind me."

I looked up at Hagrid, who looked down at me. He shrugged, so I just ignored her, getting on with the introductions. Talking to Hagrid about magical creatures was somewhat similar to when the doctor found a new species that fascinated him. True, the Doctor never attempted to hatch a dragon in his house, but if he had found one he damn well would have tried.

When he told me this was his first year serving as the Professor for Care of Magical Creatures it set off a red flag. It was the first real piece of hard evidence I had to where I was in the timeline. I couldn't be sure if this followed the books. I had no way of knowing if this was simply coincidence, or if what I had read was completely wrong in some areas, or deviated slightly in others. Hell, it could follow the movies.

I faced a moral dilemma. If the books were completely correct then did I sit back and allow innocent people to die? Or did I let time play out as it was meant to be, just like the Doctor had always required we do. Then again, he'd changed things before. But I wasn't a Time Lord, I wasn't gifted with knowing what was a fixed point in time and what wasn't. For all I knew this entire story was fixed, and nothing I tried to do would change that. What would the Doctor do? He would enjoy magic, he would have fun, and adventures, make discoveries. He would stay close and watch it all play out in front of him.

In the end, the choice jumped out at me, a bit on accident.

It was at lunch one evening, just before an official staff meeting when most of the teachers would be meeting to approve something or another that I wasn't involved in. I had a piece of chocolate in one hand and a History of Magic book in the other.

"Minerva?"

The name request had probably been a method to gain trust in order to wheedle the story out of me. It failed of course.

"Yes dear?"

"Why are there only classes for History of Magic, and Muggle Studies? You'd think there would be another history class, Muggle Studies couldn't possibly cover it all. Like a sort of...'here's what the muggles think happened' class."

Surprisingly it was the Headmaster who answered me.

"Marissa dear, that _was_ a class at one time. However, it hasn't been offered at Hogwarts since my time as a student. The teacher, a Professor Fallon I believe, retired and there was no one qualified to take his position. You see, he was a muggleborn, and studied their history in depth as a hobby in his younger years. It was a course that was required for third years, and then on became an elective."

I raised eyebrow, watching the old man unwrap some mystery piece of candy.

"I'm sure it couldn't be that hard to find someone willing to teach it. History's a great subject, honestly if someone just wanted to do blanket coverage they could buy a muggle textbook and make them read it for an easy A-sorry, O, class."

There was a sparkle in his eyes suddenly, that made me wary of whatever was coming next.

"My dear, do you still have memories of what you learned in the muggle world about history, and their side of it?"

I considered it for half a second,

 _Refusing to bow before a tyrant emperor._

 _Running from men in clanking armour._

 _Smelling the smoke of a pyre, being accused of witchcraft._

That last one was slightly ironic, but I shook off the memories.

"Yes, I remember. But what I learned in school was most likely heavily propagandized by the American public school system. What I learned in...independent study contained several sides to different stories that conflict with several popular beliefs. There's no one tale of how history played out, but there is a grain of truth in almost every story."

"And how many of these stories do you now know?"

I thought on that for a second. What did I remember from college? Add that with what I saw in person…

"A lot, surprisingly. More than I had first assumed."

"Well then, it looks like we can add that class back into the curriculum!"

I was breaking off a piece of chocolate when he said this, and nearly dropped it.

"What? Who would teach it?"

"Why my dear, you of course! It gives you very good reason to stay at the castle even past the start of the school year, which is coming soon, now that I think of it."

I stared at him for a second before giving a slightly hysterical giggle.

"Oh, um, no, I don't think-children. Yeah, I can't teach."

He waved off my stuttered concerns.

"Nonsense, child, you explained to us the uses of muggle telephones easily enough. I'm sure you'll do fine."

I blinked slowly before turning to Minerva, who was watching the proceedings with interest.

"But I'm not qualified to teach! Isn't that a thing in the wizarding world as well? Or is it just a muggle thing where you have to go to school and earn some special degree to teach children?"

Pomona snorted,

"That would be a muggle thing. If only. Otherwise we wouldn't have had that idiot teaching here last year."

There was a collective shudder, even from Snape over in his dark corner of the table. I raised an eyebrow, but they waved me off, obviously not wishing to talk about it. Dumbledore was scribbling away on a piece of parchment when I next glanced at him. Seeming to sense my eyes on him he looked up, eyes still twinkling.

"I'm sure you'll do fine, Marissa. I'll dig up some textbooks for you and find you a classroom. You should get started on lesson plans. I'll add the elective to the list being sent out to fourth year and above, as well as add it to the list of classes required by third years. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a meeting with the board of directors."

He was gone in a flash of floo powder and I was left gaping at the empty fireplace. I turned to Minerva, expression still slightly vacant.

"Did...did I just get a job?"

She put a hand to my shoulder gently,

"Yes, you did."

"Oh."

The very next day after breakfast I was led to a classroom and told I could arrange it as I saw fit, and left alone. I stood in the doorway staring for several minutes, trying to take it all in. It was out of my hands. I was going to be at Hogwarts, whether plot was happening or not. Actually, this would be the ideal place to set up shop. Even if I was planning to stay out of it Hogwarts would be relatively safe for me, so long as I stayed out of everyone's way. And if I wished to change things, well, Hogwarts is where it all happened.

Dumbles probably had something planned that involved me. For some reason I doubted he did anything randomly. Unless that was his craziness poking through. Sometimes I think he and the Doctor could be related.

There were windows on the far side of the room, with my desk at the front, and the windows to the right. There were long-ish two person tables and chairs, rather than individual desks/chair combo things. All were stacked up in a corner of the room. I used magic to clear away the dust, proud of myself when it only took two tries to get the whole room. Levitating the desks and chairs into place took a while, but I frankly wasn't big enough to cart those desks all over the room on my own. Simple rows and columns layout, I doubted I was going to bother with a seating chart or anything like that.

In the books the kids had chosen where to sit, and who to sit by. Perhaps I should screw that up when it came time for partner projects…then again I hated partner projects with a vengeance when I was in school.

I had received a syllabus of sorts, of what I was supposed to teach, and how many grades I was supposed to take. That was annoying. I didn't want to read a bajillion essays done in the five minutes before class. The textbooks stacked in the corner of the room were ancient. Neither World Wars were included. It was the most racist thing I had ever read. I considered stalking up to the Headmaster and throwing one at him, but managed to control myself. It's not like the book was strictly _needed_. There were books in the library with references to Muggle views on history that they could use as sources.

I considered redacting pieces of it, but thought better of it. Some seventh year could undo it for all of them, and then they'd know I wanted to hide it from them. I had to wonder how history had managed to turn out okay without the Doctor. Then again, if there's magic, there might be no aliens, then there would be no need for the Doctor to swoop in and save the day. There was no one to save the day _from_. Except Captain Moldy shorts, but he's a different story. I pushed the books over to the side of the classroom, deciding I could use them as an example of propaganda.

Muggle history. I would have to start at the very begining with everyone. Pangea and evolution. Joy. I could just imagine what the purebloods would have to say about this class. At least I had the power to hand out detention.

One of my pet projects met a breakthrough only days after I got a job, and I couldn't help but squeal a bit in excitement. There were papers and books scattered everywhere in my classroom because honestly my office wasn't big enough for the way I spread out when I research.

I compiled all the relevant things, grateful I had decided to stick it out a few more minutes rather than go to lunch. I took my research, bursting into the staffroom with a large grin.

"I've found it! I knew I remembered something about this! Who wants to make a painting?"

I was met with stares and mostly confused looks. I rolled my eyes, finding a seat and plopping down the books I had found.

"I use Kitings Method and take what little memory I have of someone and make one of those moving portraits of them, hopefully this helps spark off other memories!"

Pomona Sprout pointed to a certain point in the book,

"It says here for the magic to take the person must be dead."

"They are dead. Very dead."  
Sort of dead, actually. Regenerated is basically the same as dead in some ways. Being in a different dimension would keep their 'life signature' from interfering with the enchantments in any case.

Minerva pointed out a different passage.

"It says that both wielders of the spells must contribute memories of the deceased."

I wilted, closing the book.

"Well. Never mind then, I guess."

I didn't get to finish my walk of shameful failure back to my classroom, Dumbledore spoke up.

"There are several solutions available to you, if you wish to still go through with your plan."

I slammed back into the chair, books on the table again.

"Go on…."

He chuckled,

"If they need only have a memory then you could put one of the person in question into a pensieve and share it that way. Though that may not be strong enough to sustain the spells. The best way to go about it would be to allow a legilimens into your mind and share the memory through that method."

I was rifling through one of the books the moment he had said 'legilimens'.

"Mind arts, yada yada, really rare, few can manage it, fewer can protect themselves from it, yeah, I don't think that one will work. It's not like I can just throw a stone and hit a mind reader. Never mind find one who'd be willing to help. And then there's finding a mind reader that would help who wouldn't also tear through my now delicate mental state like it's rice paper."

I shut the book,

"And pensieves are notoriously rare as well, so I'm not holding out on that falling into my lap. No, I think it's best to give up now before false hope infects me and this gets too far."

I waved goodbye, slipping out the door quickly so I could sulk somewhere quiet. My classroom was the first choice, and I left the research lying around, not quite ready to give up, no matter what I told everyone else. I moved on to other projects, keeping an eye out for leads to the portrait. No matter that there were at least two legilimens and a pensieve already in the castle, I wasn't supposed to know that. This was a world of magic, nothing was truly impossible. I'd see the Doctor again, somehow.

 **~TimeLordOfPie**


	6. Chapter 6

The Daily Prophet screwed up my daily schedule. The mug shot of the screaming man that graced the front assured me that I was exactly where I had thought I was in the timeline. The knowledge that Dementors would be surrounding the school shortly lead me to abandon some of my more personal research in favor of practicing the Patronus Charm.

As an adult in my mid-twenties it was much less impressive for me to manage spells that fifteen year olds could get when they put their minds to it. Deciding the memory to use wasn't difficult. Running away from yelling creatures, laughing hysterically with a man in a bowtie.

A silvery fox scampered around my classroom after several days effort. I stared at it for a while, wondering what that said about me, foxes were clever but they eat bunny rabbits, and I'm not sure I can condone that. The door opened and I let the animal fade to silver mist and then dissipate. I was sitting on top of my desk, legs crossed under me when someone entered, and I did my best not to look guilty.

It was the Headmaster, looking at me knowingly,

"There you are, Marissa. Minerva wanted me to be sure you would be at the sorting tonight. We have to introduce you to the students after all."

Just like when I was in school the start of the year had snuck up on me. I sighed, uncrossing my legs to let them dangle off the edge of the desk.

"I'll be there. Wouldn't want to miss a feast after all. And an introduction would be nice. I'd hate to be mistaken for a student."

Dumbledore chuckled, waving off my concerns.

"Nonsense dear. You're wearing teaching robes, hardly the same as a school uniform."

I was unconvinced.

Filius did the sorting this year. Word passed along the staff table that Minerva was busy with some of her Gryffindors. The new DADA Professor had arrived, sitting a few seats to the right of me. I was equidistance between him and Snape. I could feel the glare Snape was directing at him, it made my skin itch despite knowing it wasn't aimed at me.

I was introduced after Hagrid, teaching a class that was being reintroduced into the curriculum. Several students muttered about it, sending me everything from outright glares, stares, or grins. I scanned the students, heart falling when I recognized younger versions of people who I had seen dead on a movie screen. And then there was Harry Potter, untidy black hair, taped glasses, and lightning scar. I was careful not to stare, looking at him for the same amount of time as the other students.

Dinner was a cheerful affair, and afterwards I barely managed to avoid the Golden Trio swarming Hagrid to congratulate him on his new job. I skipped breakfast completely, not feeling much hunger through the nerves. I was going to have to teach a class. The first class was of course a Gryffindor and Slytherin combination, the match made in hell. Add that to the fact that it was the fifth years and I knew I was most likely screwed. In Harry's third year, the fifth years included a certain pair of Weasleys. I could only hope they'd take mercy on a new teacher.

They filed inside in groups, the twins arriving together just as time ran out on them. They grinned at me in tandem, the one on the right closing the door behind them.

"Sorry, Professor."

The other twin opened his mouth to finish up some kind of excuse but I waved a hand, motioning towards the two desks left. The class was obviously used to their antics, they had left two seats open on the Gryffindor side of the room, right next to one another. The seats were directly in the front and I lamented my luck as the two took a seat. I was standing at the front of the room, leaning back against my desk. It probably emphasized how small I was, comparing me to the size of the desk, but these guys had been taught by Filius for years, so it shouldn't bother them too much.

I looked around the room, knowing the silence wouldn't last for long. Once I was no longer an enigma that would change. I drug my eyes over everyone in the room before speaking.

"As you know this class is to cover History. Not like the Magical History class, which most of you use as a chance to catch up on sleep, homework, or mischief, but an alternative history class."

There was astonishment at my accent for several seconds and delayed laughter from the Gryffindor side at my comment about History of Magic. I continued before someone could wave their hand in the air and ask a question.

"This class, as the name suggests, is a Muggle History class. Personally I wanted to name it 'What the Muggles Think Actually Happened' but the Headmaster told me that wouldn't fit on the schedules."

More slight laughter, and a smirk or two from the Slytherin side.

"So, there are likely to be a few terms or concepts that are completely foreign to you, or that tie back into Muggle Studies. If you ever have a question about something from this class, or even Muggle Studies, and Professor Burbage is unavailable then feel free to track me down, though I don't guarantee it will be easy."

The twins were grinning broadly and I knew that they'd be abusing the map to try and bamboozle me between now and whenever they would give it to Harry.

"But I'm getting a bit ahead of myself. For those of you who paid attention at the Welcoming Feast, good job, for those concentrating more on the food they'd soon be faced with, I'm Professor Swift. You may address me as Professor, or Professor Swift. Under no circumstances will you 'mam' me. If you make me feel old it is possibly a detention worthy offense."

I noticed the twins shift and raised an eyebrow at them.

"That is not a challenge. Just, don't."

More chuckles, and people were noticeably more relaxed. Wonderful.

I put my hands behind me on the desk, leveraging myself up to sit on the top with my feet crossed under me. Some eyebrows were raised but no comments. Good.

"As you may have noticed I'm American. This means that there will be some phrases in my vernacular that are unfamiliar to you. If I use a word you don't get then please point it out and I'll explain. It might not even be English, so don't hesitate."

More moving eyebrows.

"Now, I have absolutely no idea how school works in Europe. Frankly I don't care. This class is mine, and I'll do what I want with it. Feel free to complain, but it will accomplish absolutely nothing. Except homework. You guys don't want to do it, I don't want to grade it. Good behavior, minimum homework. That's how the school I went to functioned, so that's how this class will go. Occasionally a project will be required, but the classic 'reading and essay after every class' is unlikely so long as no one gets...I don't know, set on fire or something."

People were eyeing the twins who were ignoring them and doing their best to look innocent. I snorted,

"I'm not buying it. But I suppose I should get on to teaching or something. So we're going to cover two different and controversial version of how the Muggles believe the planet was created."

Surprisingly, people were interested in the last bit. Even the Slytherins. Well, as far as I was aware the History of Magic class didn't cover the origins of the Earth so this was all new to them.

"Now, some religious people think that the planet is around 4,000 years old. The fact that there are 9,000 year old trees in Sweden makes me a bit skeptical of that particular theory."

More chuckles, and some derisive snorts from the Slytherins about the stupidity of Muggles. That wouldn't last long in my class.

"Some of these religious types hold to the theory that a deity took about 7 days to put everything in place and then plopped some people down. Two. Just two, who then populated the Earth. With that the theory of blood ever being pure is shot to hell. But that's not the only theory so feel free to protest. Mentally of course, I don't want to hear it right now."

Some Slytherins of course, looked affronted, but I continued on.

"Now on the other side we have the scientific view. There are several sub theories for this as well, but I'm going to go with the most popular for class. If you're curious about the others I will of course tell you after class."

There was a mutter of 'we're not bloody Ravenclaws' that I ignored,

"The theory is that basically rocks floating in space gained gravity and sucked other stuff in and it congealed into a planet. I can't go into specifics, simply because you haven't had a muggle science class and you wouldn't understand a word of it anyway. Bacteria evolved, adapted, changed, there were dinosaurs, which all died off, and humans came along eventually. A few billion years later. I will get into specifics later. For now I want you to understand something."

I slid off the desk walking around to the chalk board, grabbing a piece of chalk and drawing a circle, labeling it with numbers like a clock and then turning back to the students. All of whom were miraculously paying attention.

"If you compress all 4.6 Billion years of the Earth's history into one hour then the proportions point out something staggering."

A notch of chalk went at the one minute mark,

"This is the forming of the Earth's crust, which is the outermost shell of rock on the surface."

A notch at around nine minutes.

"This is the estimated time of when life began. Not humans, or even plants. Just a single celled organism. A speck that couldn't even form thought, but it _lives_."

I swung around to forty minutes, making a notch.

"First cells with a nucleus. Basically a brain, but not in the way that you think. More of a control center."

A notch at 53 minutes.

"The first fish is formed."

A notch directly to the side, not quite at 54 minutes.

"The first plants on land."

A notch at 57 minutes.

"The first Dinosaur. Basically fierce lizards. Think Dragons, without fire, and more diverse as to body type."

A notch at 59 minutes.

"The Dino's all died out."

A notch above 59 and ever so slightly to the left.

"The first creatures resembling humans appear."

Barely to the left of the twelve went a notch.

"The first modern human."

I turned back to them, pointing to the almost infinitesimal gap.

"This is how long the humans have been around, compared to how long everything else has been spinning. Other planets were swirling around other suns long before our rock turned habitable, and some will spin long after the human race fades. Muggles realized this. They know. They know why we go around the sun, they have images of far off worlds, and muggles have stood on the surface of the moon."

That last bit was a bombshell. A Slytherin I didn't know stood up, knocking his chair over behind him with a bang.

"You're lying!"

I raised an eyebrow.

"What, pics or it didn't happen? There are images. There are samples they brought back. If you aim carefully enough with a powerful enough muggle telescope you can still see the flag on the moon."

"The muggles lied about that, they had to have!"

I let the chalk fall into the tray, planting my hands onto the desk and leaning onto it, starring the student in the eye.

"The flag on the moon is an American flag. There have been Russians in space. There are space stations floating out there, satellites as well. Space is the final frontier. And it is being explored. I'll get to that later. For now we still have to cover several million years, including the race of man learning how to make fire and eat berries. So, _sit down_."

He looked unconvinced and I raised an eyebrow at him.

"If you are patient, if you pay attention, and if you keep your mouth shut save pertinent questions then there are several muggles ideas I will prove to you. There are muggle accomplishments I will _show_ you if need be. But I will not hold with being called a liar, and disrespect has no place in my classroom. I will not force you to attend this class. But if you don't take the tests or do the homework then you will fail. Feel free to explain to your parents and head of house that you have that black mark on your record because you have no patience and lack the ability to hold your tongue."

He sat down slowly and my serious expression disappeared, replaced with a near manic grin.

"Brilliant! All right then, we still have half an hour for me to cram more information about prehistory into your brains. You can thank Mister Outspoken over there for the homework I'll most likely assign at the end of class."

The change in manner threw some off, mostly the Gryffindors, the Slytherins took it in stride for some reason. When we finally ended we had made it to Pangea. Everyone was packing up and I waved my wand, utterly proud of my non verbal magic.

"If you were paying any sort of attention this should be easy, like five minutes easy. I even provided the terms needed in a little box. A monkey could accomplish this. Then again, there are monkeys that learn sign language and speak to people so perhaps that's not much to gauge off of. The terms are stages of life, and I want you to order them how they formed on Earth. During class I mentioned all of this more than once, and went into them all in depth. This is possible, if not simple. I won't accept complaints or excuses, but I will help if you need it. See you next class."

That first class went about the same as the ones that followed it. The Ravenclaws asked questions and got involved, the Hufflepuffs took notes, and the Slytherins were the ones who protested most often. There were a few Ravenclaw purebloods who couldn't comprehend muggle accomplishment.

I wasn't sure what public opinion was of my class, or me, and I didn't particularly care. I had more things to worry about than if the kids hated having to learn. There was a supposed mass murderer whose life and freedom were on the line.

 **~TimeLordOfPie**


	7. Chapter 7

I had taken to prowling the halls whenever I didn't have classes. I never gave detention when I noticed students skipping class, only raising an eyebrow and making some blithe comment about the weather. Students weren't sure what to make of me. After a day or so I managed to piece together that they just didn't know how to react. I suppose it's a good thing. Kept them on their toes.

I tended to wander directionlessly, knowing that Hogwarts halls could get confusing and missing the adventure of exploring unknown worlds. I wasn't really thinking when I decided to wander into the staffroom. I should have remembered from the books what would be going on there. I opened the door, not looking really when I entered. The sound of laughter faded and when I looked up I was faced with a terrifyingly familiar man in a trenchcoat. In his ear was the Cyber Controlling bluetooth-like device he had shown me once, and at his feet were two shadows. The shadows writhed, licking at his ankles and stretching out towards the children.

My heart stopped, but my mind raced, looking for solutions. The Vashta Nerada can't have him, the Cybermen either. I wouldn't let them. I don't even know how they got here, never mind the Doctor, why was he in danger? How did those guys escape the Library? Why was _he_ here-he isn't. He isn't here.

My wand was out in half a breath,

" _Riddikulus!"_

The man faded into a too fat cat trying it's best to get out of a paper towel tube. Snorts of laughter came from the students and Lupin slammed the creature back into the wardrobe. I sighed, looking up at Lupin,

"Boggart day, or something?"

He nodded,

"Apologies, I thought everyone had been informed we would be in here for this period."

I waved it off, trying the best to hide the shaking in my limbs left behind from relief and the fading adrenaline.

"My fault, probably wasn't paying attention when someone mentioned it. Sorry for interrupting."

I ducked out quickly, shutting the door behind me, taking note of the red haired twins with their heads together. I put it to the back of my mind, not willing to ponder at the moment what they were up to.

I made it to my classroom, stumbling through to get to the door just to the right of my desk, pushing through into my small personal office. I sank into the chair behind my desk, pulling off the outer robe and tossing it onto the coat hook, putting my head into my hands. Boggarts are shapeshifters that change into what we most fear. Despite the danger he represented, and the havoc he could cause if he so chose, the Doctor himself did not frighten me. If anything he was safety, a refuge. His arrival was the ultimate assurance that everything was going to be okay.

The Cybermen however, those little shits were terrible. I still had nightmares about the pain of them trying to remove my brain and attempting to seal me within a soulless shell, mowing down people with those lasers of theirs. I could understand _that_ being a fear the Boggart would choose. Vashta Nerada, shadow Piranhas, anyone with a brain and healthy respect for things that go bump in the dark would fear them enough for it to be their Boggart. Both of them together would indeed be frightening. It was infinitely better than a Boggart becoming a Weeping Angel. The image of the Angel becomes an Angel. Therefore Riddikulus wouldn't have worked and we would have been screwed. But Angels have never been my greatest concern. I carry a small mirror just for those bastards, I've got handling them covered.

But why the Doctor? Analyzing my reaction to the situation I knew the answer was easy enough. I was scared _for_ him. My greatest fear was the scariest things I knew attacking my best friend. The fear was slightly out of date. I was most likely never going to see him again, especially not that incarnation. Even if I returned I was almost positive that he was through with me. I'd clocked a lot of time on the TARDIS and suffered a lot of wear and tear. If there's one thing I know about the Doctor it's that he hates seeing his companions hurt.

I slid up my left sleeve, taking in the marks. If you look at it from my point of view they told a story. Look at it from his and you see proof of every time he left me alone somewhere 'safe' so he could handle things. My solution would be to take me along to help save the day. His solution would be to retire me from adventuring all together. It was just like him. I heard a knock on the doorframe to my office and belatedly realized I hadn't shut the door. I shoved my sleeve down nonchalantly, taking in the sight of two curious red heads.

"Can I help you?"

They hovered in the doorway and I resisted the curiosity tugging at me. Hesitance and uncertainty are out of character for these two.

"Come in and sit down, unless you prefer to hover like vultures."

They pushed in, taking a seat, chin length red hair reflecting light from the window to my right. After a moment of silence I sighed, yanking open a drawer and drawing out a cannister of cookies.

"Cookie anyone? Or biscuit, whatever."

They each took one, looking at it suspiciously.

I snorted,

"I haven't done anything to them."

I punctuated this by popping one into my mouth and chowing down. I swallowed and sighed,

"Not them. I'm looking for a certain kind that an old friend of mine liked, but can't for the life of me remember the name of 'em."

I looked back up at the twins who were nibbling on their respective cookies.

"You're starting to freak me out. I've been told for months that you two are mischief incarnate and I was looking forward to the show, outside of my classroom of course, and now you're practically timid. I promise, I don't bite, I haven't in years. You're perfectly safe."

This earned a snort from the one on the left.

"We came here to ask about the homework, Professor."

The other one picked up the train of thought,

"But you see we were distracted a bit. You don't look any older than a student."

I raised an eyebrow,

"I'm older than the students, I promise. Now, what did you need help with on the homework?"

The one on the left started this time,

"We were having trouble with the eh-yu-car-yo-tee, we tried to pay attention in class but at that point-"

"-you were laying into a snake quite brilliantly and we got a bit distracted."

I leaned back in my chair, crossing my arms.

"Its Eukaryote. You-carry-oat. I have no idea how it's pronounced in 'British' or whatever, so don't ask. They're organisms that contain organelles enclosed in membranes."

This was met with identical blank looks. I sighed, glancing at the clock,

"Do you have anywhere you need to be anytime soon?"

At the head shake I continued,

"Then get comfortable, because I have 7 ish years of science to squish into about thirty minutes."

When the twins left an hour later their faces were slightly vacant and I was almost positive they would forget half of whatever they actually comprehended.

Dinner that evening was strange, mostly because I actually attended. I usually had coffee and breakfast, and ate lunch. If I was hungry in the evening I had food stashed away in my rooms that would do. However this evening I was informed there would be pizza. They lied. Sandwiches. Chicken sandwiches. I was scowling at my sandwich when I felt eyes on me and heard the seat next to me move. I glanced up, finding amber eyes examining me. I grinned, waving slightly.

"Hello. I don't believe we've properly met. Well, other than my rude interruption of your class. I'm Marissa Swift."

I stuck my hand out and Lupin shook it hesitantly,

"Remus Lupin. I was actually hoping to make sure you were alright and all, after being surprised by that Boggart. Several of the students were worried about you, said you were looking a bit pale."

I shrugged, poking the chicken sandwich with a fork.

"It was surprising. I'm fine now. I just had to take a few minutes to psychoanalyze myself. All figured out now, still as not-quite-sane as ever."

He gave a small smile,

"If you're sure…"

I nodded,

"Completely. Though I wouldn't say the students were worried for me, I don't think I'm very well liked. I tend to tell the truth and not care who I offend."

He snorted,

"Yes, I've heard talk amongst the students about how you told off a certain Mister Connell. I'm told it was quite...inspiring."

I rolled my eyes,

"He didn't understand half the words I was using, it hardly seemed fair."

There was a commotion in the front hall and I stood, waving away Lupin, who was standing to go handle it as well.

"I got it, planning on taking this to go anyway. See you around."

I grabbed the sandwich, wrapping it in a napkin and weaving through the students to get to the front hall. I stood beside the Ravenclaw and Slytherin that were in each others faces, chewing slowly on the french fry (called 'chip' for some reason) I had stolen off the Gryffindor table as I sauntered by. I watched as they snarled at one another, waiting calmly the few seconds it took to chew and swallow. Several students noticed I was standing among them, blending into the crowd quite nicely. One Ginny Weasley squeaked when she turned and noticed I was directly to her right. I winked, swallowing my french fry and turning to the two seventh years.

I raised my voice slightly,

"As amusing as it would be to watch this play out I have better things to do than scrape what's left of you off the marble when this is over. So how bout you explain what's going on instead."

The Ravenclaw almost immediately started talking.

"This Slytherin idiot was refusing to let us in the Great Hall!"

I rolled my eyes,

"Well, this is simple. The way's clear now, get to it."

The Ravenclaws face fell,

"But, what about the Slytherin?"

I waved them away,

"What about 'em? American, remember? Innocent until proven guilty. And there's no crime being committed at the moment. So 'the Slytherin' will most likely also proceed to the giant room filled with food. Now get, all of you. And at least _try_ to avoid unnecessary confrontation."

They moved out of the way reluctantly, grumbling. I knew I'd have to punish someone for something soon or they'd never believe me capable of it and start trying to walk all over me. Either way I was tired, and my day had been stupidly eventful.

I walked straight out the front doors, ambling aimlessly across the grass, eyeing the Whomping Willow appreciatively. It struck out at me lazily and I snorted, sticking my tongue out at it momentarily.

"The last time a plant tried to kill me it was much more impressive. Your efforts are cute, though."

It swung one last time before just swaying in the wind. I rolled my eyes, turning to walk towards the lake when something brushed my leg. Long experience kept me from jumping, simply freezing and tilting my head slowly to see what manner of creature might be trying to eat my feet in the near future. A very large dog. A very large scrawny dog. I blinked slowly as it gave me a doggy grin.

"Damn, boy, you're thinner than me."

I glanced from the dog to the sandwich and sighed.

"Damn that Doctor, indoctrinating a weakness for furry things into everyone he meets."

I removed the napkin, dangling the sandwich close to him. He didn't move. I raised an eyebrow.

"Um, please eat it. Please."

Nothing.

"Do you hand out frequent flyer miles with that guilt trip?"

Nothing.

"Dammit dog, do you not like chicken? Cuz I can get tuna or something."

He snapped up the sandwich quickly, swallowing it almost whole. I snorted, rubbing behind one of his ears.

"Yeah, I know, tuna is disgusting."

His tail thumped heavily against the ground, eyes rolling and tongue lolling out as I scratched.

I sighed, sitting on the ground, ignoring the breeze from the swinging branches of the willow. The dog crawled practically in my lap, angling his head for a scratch. I complied, wondering what the hell Sirius, if this was him which is pretty likely at this point, was doing on campus. He had mentioned in the book that he was beloved around Hogsmeade, but hanging around the school wasn't something I thought he had done, never mind interact with people. I glanced at my rumpled robes and a thought came to mind.

I glanced down at the dog.

"Yah know I should probably report you to someone, being a professor and all."

The dog stilled and I knew I was right. Bastard had assumed I was an impressionable student.

"But I'm not the most responsible of people, and picking on a starving dog when he's down is deplorable."

I rubbed his ears one last time before standing, shoving him off me as gently as possible.

"If you're still around tomorrow I'll be sure to swing by with some quality food. Sandwiches are for the birds, my friend."

I walked back to the castle, looking back to the dog and seeing it disappear at the edge of the forest.

 **~TimeLordOfPie**


	8. Chapter 8

Relishing a moment alone is difficult when you can hear a couple going at it in the broom closet. My turn to patrol the halls and, of course, I actually find someone. I sighed, banging on the door to the closet.

"That's five points off each for every piece of clothing I find on the floor."

There was a mad scramble from inside and I unlocked the door wandlessly, yanking it open. I raised an eyebrow and sighed. Teenagers. How literal. There were robes and socks piled in their arms. I sighed,

"Slytherin, huh?"

I stepped out of the way, motioning them away from the closet.

"That's ten points from Slytherin."

They looked curiously around for what they had missed and I grabbed their arms, pulling the both of them out.

"Your shoes, dingleberries. Your shoes are touching the ground."

The groaned simultaneously and I increased pressure on their arms just slightly.

"Don't be that way. I should be docking loads of points and giving you detention. Instead I'll turn you over to your head of house who probably won't be as creative as I would have."

The boy, I should really learn these kids names, glanced at me out of the corner of his eye.

"And why aren't you taking more points and handing out detention?"

We rounded a corner, nearly walking into a ghost as it disappeared through the wall to our left.

"Your smart ass response to my threat was amusing enough that I'll spare you this time."

One more corner and a black robed bat-like professor appeared from the shadows, dark eyebrows rising upon spotting us.

"What is going on here?"

I moved my hands to clap the students on the back, sparing a moment to be annoyed that they were taller than me.

"These two were in a broom closet. From the sound of it they were cleaning the place rather vigorously but it _is_ after curfew so I'm afraid that had to end."

My faux sad expression was met with two incredulous looks and that damned eyebrow staying in the same place.

I sighed,

"Whatever, they're yours now, have fun."

I left, shoving my hands into my pockets, muttering about no one getting my sense of humor.

I was passing a darker corner,

"Sarcasm, I swear it's a dying art."

A voice from behind a tapestry whispered none too quietly,

"I'll say, second best -asm, it is."

I stopped, listening to the snickering fade as they realised I was still there. I drew the tapestry back, eyeing the red headed twins who put on a good show of looking surprised.

"Gred, would you look at that, we've been sleep walking again!"

"Indeed we have, Forge, I think we owe our dear Professor Swift a thanks for rescuing us."

"Of course, we'd have ended up in the black lake without her intervention."

I rolled my eyes,

"Follow me. The last people I caught had their head of house patrolling nearby, meaning their punishment was out of my hands. However, you guys are not so lucky. You get to be the first to get detention from me."

To their credit they weren't that far at all from the entrance to their common room. They had almost made it back. The portrait at the entrance started getting onto them. When she finally swung open I caught the backs of their robes.

"Not so fast, don't forget, detention with me Saturday right after lunch."

"But Professor-"

"this Saturday is-"

I cut in,

"Nothing important. No matches scheduled, no practice, no tryouts, no Hogsmeade. Exactly. And noon because I sleep in on weekends as well. Why the hell should I have to suffer too? Now get to bed, you're having a quiz in charms tomorrow."

"We are?"

"Shut up and get inside."

The next morning was a slow one getting started, and I clutched my coffee to me as if it might run away. Well, there was that one time when we were in that asteroid belt near-

My musing was interrupted when the chair next to me filled abruptly. I blinked slowly before turning to see Minerva, who looked slightly irritated.

"Lemme guess, you wanna know why your kids got detention and the Slytherins didn't."

She nodded sharply and I snorted,

"I handed 'em over to their head of house like I was supposed to. You were at the place for that thing you wouldn't give details about. Plus, with the Slytherins I _knew_ what they were up to, with the Twins I still have to figure out what the hell they were doing."

The flurry of the post arriving gave me a chance to escape before more human interaction could be forced.

I had coffee in my hand for my first class, sitting on the desk once again, daring any of the students to comment. This was the day I had the third years. Harry Potter and his buds were in this class as well as one Draco Malfoy and his cronies.

"As many of you have probably heard by now, I am Professor Swift. You can call me Professor or Professor Swift, but there will be no 'mam' directed at me, or I'll have you writing "My teacher is not old enough to be called 'mam'" until your quills fall apart."

Hermione was here, on the front row, with Lavender beside her, Harry and Ron behind them. Hermione, bless her soul, was taking notes already. I refrained from commenting.

"Now, this is a history class. This is nothing like your History of Magic class in many ways. The first is that if you fall asleep in here I shall not restrain myself from drawing a mustache on your face in ink that won't leave for several days."

Some sniggered, some glanced at each other warily.

"I'm allowed to do that, I checked the rules. I am _not_ allowed to bring turkeys into the classroom though, and I'll give twenty points to whoever can find out which poor idiot caused _that_ rule to be put in place. It sounds like a glorious story."

Hermione was making another note, and I was almost positive she was going to be the one to find out which idiot snuck a turkey into class for whatever reason.

"The second difference between the two history classes is that this focuses on the Muggle side of things. I wanted to call it 'what the muggles think actually happened' but the Headmaster said that would not fit in the box on your schedules. But that name does sum it up. Most, if not all of you, know the part of wizards in World War Two, and how it was brought to a halt by our Headmaster dueling a dark wizard. What you don't know about are the weapons of mass destruction utilized by muggles to end their side of the war. It's things like that, but also much, much more that we'll be covering. For example, does anyone know which muggle King and Queen paid for the journey of Columbus that discovered the Americas?"

No one. Not even Hermione, though if she thought any harder steam might come out of her ears.

"King Ferdinand and Queen Isabella of Spain, though Columbus was actually from what is modern day Italy. Nitpicky things like that will be mentioned, but doubtless you won't remember them. I do expect you to remember things like Columbus proved to everyone that the world wasn't flat. That was kind of a big thing for everybody."

Someone snorted, judging from the direction, most likely Weasley.

"I'm getting ahead of myself. We're starting at the beginning. The very beginning. There are two dominant Muggle theories about how the Earth was created. Involved in these theories, and in most other aspects of this class, there will be terms that are unfamiliar. Ones I think you might not know I will explain. If I don't explain something and you don't know what it is, or what it means, then feel free to ask. It may be slang that I forgot you won't get, or another language that I forgot to translate. And for the love of all that is holy, do not snootily point out to me that I am pronouncing something wrong. I am American, I understand some things sound funny to you guys, it does not mean I'm wrong. I will dock points if I say cookie and one of you raises your hand and looks down your nose while saying biscuit."

Someone giggled and I ignored it, uncrossing my legs and setting my coffee to the side,

"I've had protests already about what people believe muggles capable of. I'm going to point this out once and only once. While in my classroom you may think as you like, you may speak as you like, but disrespect is not welcome. Wizards and witches still belong to the species known as 'humans'. Muggles do as well. Both cry tears, both will bleed red. Both feel fear, pain, loss, and on the other side of the spectrum there is joy, love, happiness, and exhilaration. Just as there are Dark Lords and Light Wizards there are good muggles and cruel ones. Because both muggle or magic, they are people, and a good person and a bad one are separated by the choices they make. If you look at muggles there were those like Nero who burned cities to the ground and Elizabeth Bathory, who tortured young women and bathed in their blood thinking it would make her younger."

There were expressions of disgust, and few unkind things said about muggles. I snorted,

"Oh, that's rich. Yes, _muggles_ are the root of all evil are they? Merwyn the Malicious, Herpo the Foul, Grindelwald, and the pinnacle of it all would be the one who called himself Voldemort."

Flinches all around, and some wide eyes. Oh, yeah. They don't say the name yet.

A small voice came from the front row,

"What do you mean, 'called himself'...that?"

I turned to Lavender, raising an eyebrow and smiling slightly.

"Well, if it were his actual name it would explain a lot of the 'evilness', the bullies in school would have been all over that. And which mother exactly chooses a name like that? No, he chose it himself. Most likely because he felt the french translation of the name was aligned with his goals."

"And what exactly might those goals have been, Professor?"

Harry Potter. I should have known. I turned my eyes to him, tilting my head, thinking on it.

"Hmmm, I wasn't planning on psychoanalyzing a dark wizard today in class, but schedules never were my thing."

I crossed my legs again, bracing my hands on the desk beside me and leaving back slightly.

"Alright, well, this guy always seemed to me as the type to obsess with immortality. Many witches and wizards have felt the lure of such things and almost all have fallen deeply in the arms of the dark arts. Morgan le Fay being one of those. She was known as a healer, adept at healing spells and keeping her people healthy. However she went a little too far and wished for eternal health, yada yada, things happened, people died, bad luck all around."

Hermione looked affronted that I wasn't going into detail, and she wasn't the only one. However several looked relieved that it seemed like I was just going to get to the point.

"Some are content to leave their names as feared, widely known, letting their names and their deeds live on in infamy. To keep this short and relatively age appropriate I'm just going to say that by taking experience with muggle psychology, and accounts of his actions, it is simple enough to determine that this 'Lord' Voldemort didn't plan to stop. He began by playing the long game, the political one and quite simply for reasons no one has been able to detect he lost his effing mind and began the whole torture and kill everyone in his way thing. His goals may well have started out noble for all we know. Some of the original policy makes sense if you squint and tilt your head at a certain angle. But whatever happened that caused him to snap ended that. A charismatic and ambitious individual went absolutely batty and lost sight of his goals, losing himself to the power he sought. My personal theory, with a few scattered bits and pieces of evidence here and there, is that something happened to him, and he realized that he wasn't going to be around forever. This caused him to the think that the long game, the political way, the _legal_ way of takeover was going to take longer than he liked. So in an attempt to speed things up he abandoned logic and tried to strong arm his way to the top of the foodchain. Needless to say this failed. Moral of the story, stick to the plan, follow the law, don't be an idiot, I don't know, something like that. Don't murder people, that's definitely one, and torture is bad, avoid that too."

Seamus spoke up from the back,

"So you're saying You-Know-Who wasn't so bad?"

I snorted, choking slightly before it turned into a snicker. When I got my breath back I answered.

"Of course not, that guys brain was a bag full of cats, you could probably smell the crazy on him. I'm saying that politically he could have been a powerhouse and if he hadn't started going evil and killing people he might be emperor of the world or some shit and we'd never know he has a fetish for the dark and illegal."

"Has?"

One of the Slytherins asked that from the middle of the group, probably louder than she had intended.

I shrugged,

"There was no body, and I always expect the worst. If the worst happens then I'm not caught off guard, if the best happens I am always pleasantly surprised. This is not the kind of thing you want to catch you unawares."

I moved rapidly, standing in the blink of an eye and going around to face the blackboard, chalk in hand.

"Now, enough about old moldy shorts, we've got things to cover."

I covered the same clock, about the time humanity had spent on Earth compared to the life of the Earth itself. One Draco Malfoy was writing furiously so I went quiet, winking to the room at large and holding up a finger in front of my mouth to call for silence. I crept forwards silently, too much experience sneaking around unfriendly places making sure I wasn't detected. I leaned over his right shoulder like I had seen Crabbe do several times already, reading over his shoulder. The snickers from the Gryffindor side were only barely contained. A letter to his father about the ridiculousness of this class and how it was unnecessary as one of the required classes. Well.

I pointed over his shoulder at one of the words.

"You spelled 'abysmal' wrong."

He jumped out of his skin and I resisted the urge to cackle,

"See, it's a 'y' not an 'i', easy mistake to make."

I tapped it with my finger, changing it nonverbally and without a wand, causing him to go still.

"There you go, much better."

I stood up straight, making my way back to my desk resisting the smile fighting its way onto my face at the sight of Ron and Harry hanging off each other and fighting for air.

"Mister Malfoy isn't it? Well, I would appreciate it if you would pay attention in class, rather than use it as time to write your letters home. It's strange that you're writing at all, I was under the impression that you were injured. In any case I admire your determination to power through the pain, but I'm sure the letter can wait."

I glanced over the homework I was planning on sending with them and sighed,

"Well, we didn't get to what I wanted to assign the homework on and frankly I can't be bothered to think of anything else. It's a waste of my time to grade something spur of the moment and useless to your education, and it would be a waste of your time to work on it. Therefore nothing this time, unless you want to research the thing with the turkey. It bothers me, honestly...anyway, think over what you learned or something, don't let it float out of your brain. You still have about five minutes, so if you have any questions I'm here for you, if you want to leave then go for it, I don't care. However, if you're caught I will not stand up for you. Gryffindor head of house scares me and Slytherin head of house reminds me of a man from far away who I owe a significant amount of money, so seeing him makes me jumpy. You can sit in here if you like, just don't get too loud, I have detention for a certain two hellions to plan."

I waved a hand and the chalk marks vanished from the board and the chalk reordered itself in the tray, my muggle pen floating in from my office, coming out through the gap under the door.

I grabbed it from the air, about to write something down when I noticed a hand in the air. Hermione.

I gave a half smile.

"Miss Granger?"

She looked surprised that I knew her name but continued anyway,

"Where did you attend school?"

"America." I deadpanned, raising an eyebrow. She floundered for a second,

"I-I mean, did you attend the Salem Institute?"

I shrugged,

"Pass, next question please."

Seamus chimed in,

"Why are you here?"

I snorted,

"Well, thats either rude or very deep. Do you mean here, as in alive and the reason behind existence of humanity as a whole? Or why-"  
"Why are you teaching here, instead of in America?"

"I was in the area and qualified for the job, the Headmaster told me I was a teacher and I couldn't escape."

My blunt answer caused a few raised eyebrows in the Slytherin section so I continued,

"And that's the story of why you poor, poor children are stuck with me."

A few snickers, I was feeling kind of smug that someone finally got my humor.

I went back to my papers and the Golden Trio put their heads together for some reason or another and everyone broke off into their respective social groups. There was a low buzz of conversation and someone stamped Ron's foot,

"SHIT!"

"Five points from Gryffindor for language, Mr. Weasley, if I'm not allowed to curse here, you aren't either."

There were murmurs from the Gryffindors at that and I didn't bother to look up. I know I slip up sometimes, whoops. When class ended they filed out quietly and I went back to my plans for the twins. No one stayed behind. I was starting to worry about that. The only ones to ask for actual help were the twins, and I had to wonder if there was something wrong with the way I phrased the offer or something. But then again, it was only the first week.

I snuck into dinner in the Great Hall long enough to grab some random food a dog might like before retreating outside. The dog was waiting for me, right beside the Whomping Willow. I grinned,

"I have ham!"

There was a doggy grin in return, and his tail was wagging.

I sat down in the grass, holding out a piece of meat which he snapped up quickly.

"At least someone here appreciates me. I had the youngest of the children I'm expected to teach today. They're one of the few here that appreciate, or even understand, sarcasm. My language seems to be a rarity here, it's sad really. The little creatures managed to get me rambling for half the class about something that had nothing to do with my subject. At this rate Binns teaches more than I do."

I fed the dog steadily with whatever I had managed to grab, basking in the presence of someone who wouldn't argue with me, no matter what I said in the next few minutes.

"For all that I didn't get done today, I still feel accomplished. I told a class full of death eaters children that Voldemort's mind was a bag full of cats."

The dog actually choked a bit before pausing in eating to look up at me.

I raised an eyebrow at him,

"What? Well, he wasn't exactly all there at the end of it, was he?"

The dog went back to eating and I had to wonder what the hell he was thinking. Maybe it wasn't such a good thing that he couldn't talk.

 **~TimeLordOfPie**


	9. Chapter 9

Saturday at noon I skipped lunch, heading straight for my classroom, my most recent magic-aided creation residing in my pocket. The twins were most likely still at lunch, or on their way there. I didn't bother with it, there was a stash of candy from Honeydukes that I'd owl ordered the moment I got my first paycheck from bussing tables at the Three Broomsticks that first month here. Under stasis charms in my desk drawer the stash was still holding strong, large quantities of chocolate still remaining.

I waved my wand, pushing a few of the desks together toward the front of the room near the windows and pushing the rest out of the way and to the side. Wandless magic was good to make a point, mainly 'don't fuck with me', but it was tiring. I tended to avoid it early in the day if I could help it. The twins arrived five minutes after I did, opening the door slowly, with one of them peering in suspiciously. I waved them in,

"Close the door behind you, please."

The entered, looking around the classroom, visibly confused. I was sitting on one of the desks that I had pushed together, shuffling a deck of cards with a pile of various kinds of chocolate beside me.

The door clicked shut and I set the cards down, grabbing my wand and waving it towards the door, sliding the privacy wards into place. I set the wand down and motioned to the desks in front of me.

"Take a seat you two, I don't want to watch the both of you write lines or some other boring thing so I'm going to make this part of my class. Well, sort of, if you tilt your head and squint."

They looked at one another, communicating with that twin telepathy they seemed to share, before actually sitting, crossing their legs and mirroring my position.

"This is a muggle game, it often gets violent and tends to ruin friendships, but it's not nearly as bad as Monopoly, which takes approximately twenty years to finish. My excuse for playing a game instead of assigning lines or some other punishment is because it wasn't far from curfew, you weren't far from your tower, and as far as I'm concerned your cause is worthy. Life is better when you're laughing. However you broke the rules and your punishment is enduring my charming presence for a while. If anyone asks you endured a lesson on muggles that you didn't listen to or something of the sort. Tell horror stories if it makes you feel better."

I ignored their slightly dazed looks, picking the cards up again.

"This game is called Uno. In Spanish, Uno means one. The point of the game is to get rid of your cards, when you get down to one you have to announce uno. You can lay down cards if they have the same color or number as what's on the top of the pile. There are annoying little cards that change the direction, skip people, let you change the color, make you draw a card, thing like that."

They got the hang of it quickly, and I was worried they would team up to take me down, but honestly they turned on one another startlingly quickly.

The aim of this was to gain their trust in a way that would be beneficial later in time when everything went to shit and war started. These kids would need help, and in the coming years of school they'd need someone they could go to _for_ that help. Contempt for the rules would be a point in my favor for most of it.

"Uno!"

"Change color to green."

"Skip you."

"Damn it!"

"Language Weasley, if I can't curse then you can't either."

A unified 'whatever' and we went back to the game. It didn't take long for them to convince me to share the candy either. The wins were split between the three of us, and it was creeping up on 4 in the evening. This was the last game, the deciding factor for which twin won, unless I won and it was a three way tie. Fred broke free in the end, slamming the card down with a victory yell.

"Cero! I am the champion! Ha!"

I tossed him the last chocolate frog.

"And there's your prize. You two are free to go, just remember, this was the most horrifically boring detention of your life. Please try not to get caught next time."

They gathered the cards they had won, stuffing them in pockets.

"See you later, Professor."

"Enjoy your evening."

I lowered the wards with a flick of my wand, opening the door a second later.

"You too, make sure you get that homework done, or _something_ productive."

I cleaned up the mess we'd made of my classroom, scooting the desks back into place. I attended dinner that evening, slipping in and sitting down silently between two empty seats. In a strange deviation from the norm someone snuck up silently on me.

Poppy Pomfrey grabbed my shoulders, probably stopping my heart at that point. I clutched my chest for a second, taking deep breaths.

"For the love of God woman, make some noise when you move! Any more and I'm going to have to put a bell on you or something."

She sniffed, looking down her nose at where I was sitting,

"How else am I to capture people? When you're done eating I want you to report to the Hospital Wing."

I turned in my chair to see her better,

"Why? I'm not ill."

She glared at me, daring me to protest further,

"You haven't had a physical. You have no file with the British Ministry and when you were in you scampered off before they could get a baseline for you. Therefor, I must do so. No arguing."

She left in a blur of grey hair and robes, leaving me staring behind her, eyes wide and mouth slightly open. I turned to Minerva, a few seats down, who was trying to stifle her laughter at my expression. I glared playfully before grabbing my food to go, leaving the hall. I checked for Poppy before heading out onto the grounds to find Sirius.

He was where he always was, tail wagging furiously.

I lay the napkin on the ground carefully before depositing the food, giving him a quick scratch behind the ears.

"Sorry, can't stay today. Poppy is demanding I have a physical, bleh. I'll see you tomorrow, perhaps I'll do lunch and dinner to make it up to you."

I got a face full of slobber in thanks, leaving me spluttering and falling over. I glared at him,

"Careful mutt, I still haven't come up with something concrete to call you yet. You could be the dog I finally get to call cat."

His innocent look was damn good, getting him an eyeroll from me. I sighed, dusting off my pants.

"See you tomorrow then, oh canine one."

I left him going at whatever meat had been on the table, probably chicken.

The hospital wing was difficult to find for me, I hadn't been there before, and I wasn't willing to ask a student for directions until I ran into one Percy Weasley. It had been twenty minutes, and I didn't even remember what floor the thing was on. The Head Boy was alone, head in a book. Normally I wouldn't have interrupted but desperate times…

"Mister Weasley!"

He looked up, startled,

"Hello Professor, is there something I can do for you?"

I grinned, laughing slightly in embarrassment.

"Yes, actually, if you don't mind. You see, I was told to report to the Hospital Wing, and I can't seem to find it…"

The kid pulled through. I was given a short tour on the way there, several secret passages were pointed out to me and I got a rundown of the stories of some of the older or more prominent figures in certain paintings. When we finally arrived Poppy was at the door, ready to drag me inside. I waved cheerily at Percy,

"Thank you Mister Weasley!"

The doors to the Hospital Wing slammed shut behind us and I was dragged over to a bed and told to sit.

"Stay still, these scans are going to take a few minutes."

I sat there and stared at a wall while a quill went to work on a blank sheet of parchment, taking notes on my current state of health. I watched it jot down my height, weight, iron levels, blood sugar, and blood pressure, before I got bored and turned instead to look out the window, trying to spot Sirius. He was nowhere in view and I was left staring at blank grass, not a single person outside.

Poppy cleared her throat and I looked over at her.

"Am I free to go?"

"Yes, dear."

That was unusually short for her. I glanced at the parchment, wondering if it showed a history on it. After a second I dismissed the thought. I doubted any damage I suffered at the hands of aliens or my own recklessness would leave enough signs for it still to be detectable now.

She waved off my goodbye, taking the parchment to her office, most likely to file away somewhere. I headed to the library, I had some enchantments to weave around a certain laptop. My life was on that thing, and I needed some music. Research into what about Hogwarts made electronics go absolutely nutso was still ongoing. I got a few funny looks for being in the library but a raised eyebrow usually sent them scampering. Except for a Hufflepuff first year. She didn't notice me, she was sniffing in the corner clutching a book to her chest.

She went unnoticed by most, but after all our adventures I think one of the things I picked up from the Doctor was an extra sense that detected when children were in distress and compelled me to fix it. So that's what lead my research to be abandoned early in the evening and escorting a homesick Hufflepuff to Pomona. She thanked me for bringing the girl to her and disappeared into her office, probably to ply the little thing with sweets and reassurances.

The library was closed down and dark when I got back. I could have continued inside, but I retreated back to my room instead. I had a notebook, written in Spanish and heavily spelled to keep away prying eyes. People looking would see an account, still in Spanish, of what little useless bit and pieces I was slowly 'remembering'. In actuality it was a rundown of everything important, from who was going to die and when, to where certain horcruxes would be at a certain time. Anything small, or anything big, important or pitiful, I wrote it all down. I didn't really care if anyone found it. The probability of it being believed if it was decoded and the spells broken was small. I could have tried to go to Dumbledore with this, but I didn't particularly want to trust someone 'old and wise' who wasn't my Doctor. It seemed so final, giving over information and control to someone that wasn't him. It would be a while before I actually gave up on him. If ever.

The month of October heralded in the beginning of the Quidditch season. I was excited for that. I had never seen a game other than from the movies, and I often watched practices from the towers. It was while I was watching Slytherin practice that I heard a disturbance from further along the floor. I investigated, abandoning my vantage point and wandering towards the noise. I found a group of Ravenclaws surrounding a smaller Ravenclaw student, tossing something back and forth amongst each other, just out of the smaller ones reach.

"I remember this game from school. Didn't like it much, to be honest."

They stopped, turning to see me. Most were fifth years and I raised an eyebrow at them.

"Shouldn't you guys be studying for that giant exam at the end of the year? Something about a bird or whatever?"

They tossed what I know identified as small bag to the ground, giving me insincere apologies as they left. I watched them go before picking up the bag, repairing the rips and tears with a wave of my hand to conserve time.

"Sorry, kiddo, I'd take points from 'em but they're from the same house and that would cause problems for you. As would giving detention. However-"

I saw the face of the kid and stopped. Of course. A little blonde Ravenclaw who was bullied. I knelt down by her, handing her the bag. I dug into the pocket of my robes, pulling out a chocolate frog.

"Here, take this. Not quite the same as punishment for the bullies, but chocolate usually makes me feel better about things."

She took the frog gingerly, grey eyes focused on me.

"Thank you Professor. You should eat more chocolate."

"Oh?"

"Yes, maybe then you wouldn't seem so sad."

"I seem sad?"

"Yes, all the time. And you're always thinking. You must have a structured mind, the nargles seem to avoid you."

I examined her for a second before sitting down on the floor of the hall, turning to lean my back against the stone wall.

"Nargles. I don't believe I learned about those."

She shook her head sagely, sitting down next to me, bag held in her lap, undoing the package around the chocolate frog.

"Of course you wouldn't have. A lot of people don't believe they exist. They hide in mistletoe, swarming around peoples heads and clouding their thoughts."

"Bet they have a blast around exam times, how do you keep them away?"

"I use my Dirigible Plum earrings. I suppose you could wear earing to keep them away, but like I said, they tend to avoid you."

"Interesting. Maybe my head's just too empty for their tastes."

I escorted her to dinner that evening, bidding her goodbye at the entrance to the Great Hall, where I ducked in for food for Sirius like always. Leaving Luna as lonely for the next two-three years was not something I planned on doing. If I could be there for the twins, then Luna could get some support as well. That evening Sirius arrived a bit late, looking slightly more bedraggled than usual. I tsked, brushing the leaves from his fur as he scarfed down food.

"Jeez, what do you do all day? Roll in the dirt?"

He looked up at me for a second before going back to eating. I sighed,

"Well, I can't be sure. You're awfully intelligent. You could be off planning how to rule the world, or committing espionage for all I know. Personally I spend a lot of time theorizing the perfect murder before I remember it's illegal and no matter how annoying they are prison isn't worth it and I have responsibilities and shit."

Once again the dog stopped, sitting down to stare me in the eye properly.

I nodded sagely, copying Luna from earlier.

"Yeah, some people get on my nerves that much. Not lately, really, not since...well...not since I lost everyone, since then I've had other things to worry and mope about."

I glanced up at the sky, gauging the sun's position.

"I should get going, I'd hate to meet a dementor tonight, despite how much I'd like to see the stars."

I stood in one motion, wandlessly summoning the now cleared off cloth napkin into my hand and stuffing it into one of my pockets. I scratched his ears one last time.

"G'night dog."

The sun was rapidly disappearing as I made my way to the castle, sinking below the horizon just as I reached my rooms.

 **~TimeLordOfPie**


	10. Chapter 10

**Bold in the story is taken from Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban.**

It is with slight shame that I admit I forgot there was to be excitement after the feast on Halloween. I had planned to stay awake for a few more hours, and had changed out of my robes form the feast. I was in plain grey sleep pants and a black t-shirt. When the ghosts came through alerting all teachers to report to the Great Hall it hit me, and I started cursing creatively while pulling on my converse. The Fat Friar admonished me for my language, but I ignored him, sending him on to his next target.

When I made it to the Great Hall I had my wand in hand, hair pulled up into a messy bun, and an irritated scowl on my face. Several of the students were staring, and I put that down to realizing that yes, teachers are people too, and they also dress like normal ones from time to time.

"What's happening, Minerva?"

"Sirius Black, that's what!"

"Has he been sighted?"

"He attacked the portrait guarding Gryffindor common room, we think he's still in the castle somewhere."

I glanced around at the students, back subconsciously straightening, going into my 'Doctor advising mode'.

"And you decided to put them all in one place?"

"Easier to protect, Albus said."

I glanced over at where the Headmaster was speaking with the Head Boy and Girl in lowered voices and shrugged.

"I suppose. I would have thought that with only one assailant it would be a tricky gamble making it one single target that was stupidly easy to find, and then trapping that target with no means of escape. But then again, this is one man, unarmed, and with no back up approaching. He did attend Hogwarts so he would have some idea of where the entrances to the different common rooms are, and some knowledge of the layout of the castle. I'm at a distinct disadvantage in this search, I know the castle about as well as the first years, if even that. Am I to be left to guard the students then?"

An amused voice from behind us had Minerva jumping and my wand twitching in my hand.

"Brilliant as always, Marissa. Indeed I thought you would be the perfect staff member to leave behind with the students."

The Headmaster turned to the kids,

" **The teachers and I need to conduct a thorough search of the castle, I'm afraid that, for your own safety, you will have to spend the night here. I want the prefects to stand guard over the entrances to the hall and I am leaving** Professor Swift in charge, with the Head Boy and Girl. **Any disturbance should be reported to me immediately. Send word with one of the ghosts.** Should the dementors attempt entrance...well, I've heard you're capable of a full patronus, Marissa, send them on their way through whatever means possible."

I nodded, not bothering to question how he knew, and he nodded.

He swept his wand over the hall and the sleeping bags appeared.

Of course the night went without incident, Sirius wasn't after anything we had in here. When Dumbledore came into the hall to speak with us I wandered over to where Percy was, only steps away from the Golden Trio.

" **Any sign of him, Professor?" asked Percy in a whisper.**

" **No. All well here?"**

He was looking at me rather than Percy, and I felt a bit bad for stealing Percy's one important moment.

"Perfectly fine. A few freaked out First Years, but nothing chocolate couldn't fix."

" **Good."**

He had gone back to talking to Percy so I took a few steps away, glancing here and there at the students. I caught Harry listening in when Snape was speaking and he looked terrified. I winked at him and turned away to pay attention just as Dumbledore was swearing no Dementors would enter his castle.

I murmured,

"Damn straight."

That got me an amused look from him, and a slight head shake.

"Marissa, perhaps you should head back to your rooms. The other professors can take over from here."

I raised an eyebrow at him, crossing my arms in slight challenge. Crossing the arms lead me to see my scars on full display and I remembered why I wore the long sleeved robes at all times. I cleared my throat, uncrossing my arms and clasping my hands behind me.

"That would probably be best."

"One last thing, Marissa dear. How far did you get on that project with the portrait of that friend of yours?"

I turned to him, brow furrowed, not sure where this was going.

"I got the runes outlined, and some layered enchantments drafted. But I'm still at a loss for a second caster."

"Report to my office in the morning with the materials, I may have a solution for both of our problems."

Well, that sounds ominous.

I nodded to him,

"Yessir."

I dragged my fingers down my arms, lengthening the sleeves in a wandless transfiguration. It wouldn't last long, but I would make it back to my rooms at least.

The next morning I dressed in my skinny jeans, converse, and a long sleeved shirt, blue this time. It had taken months of charm work to get _just_ the right shade of TARDIS blue, but I had managed eventually. The papers where piled into my hands, and I could barely see around it. I reached the Gargoyle outside the Headmaster's office at just after nine in the morning.

"Blood pops."

I rode the moving stairs like an escalator, enjoying the brief return of a modern luxury.

When I reached the top the door was slightly ajar, I knocked on the frame for half a second before pushing through, pausing in surprise at the scene before me. Dumbledore was behind his desk, the pensieve set out on top of it, with Snape standing off to the side, looking sullen.

"Ah, Marissa, wonderful timing. Lemon drop?"

I entered the room, walking swiftly to the desk and setting the papers down on one corner, taking one of the proffered sweets.

"Thank you."

He beamed at me, probably for being the only one to actually try a lemon drop.

"Now, down to business. This person you wanted to create a painting of, would you mind answering some questions about them? Just, to indulge an old man for a few minutes."

I nodded and he continued.

"Now, why don't you describe them for me, what did they do for a living?"

I shifted my weight slightly, staring out the window behind him, thinking on it.

"Well, he was the Doctor. He traveled, _we_ traveled, that is. Wherever we ended up he leant a helping hand to those in need. He was always getting us into trouble, but he always got us back out again. He saved my life more times than I can count, and he was the smartest person I've ever known. He could be rude at times, when someone did something cruel or unusually wicked, and he would often lie in attempts to protect us from the truth. He was by no means perfect, but he was brilliant in his own way."  
Dumbledore eyed me for a second, eyes twinkling like always. Finally he sat back in his chair.  
"We have recently run into a problem with the portraits in the castle. None of a... _satisfactory_ nature are willing to take up the mantle of guard for Gryffindor Tower. Would this friend of yours be willing to take the risk, should we bring him to painting form?"  
 _Are you joking? Guard Gryffindor Tower from beyond the grave? He'd beg for this under different circumstances._

I gave him a half-smile,

"Oh, I think he'd be very willing."

The Headmaster nodded, smiling brightly,

"Perfect! Of course this is only temporary, you shall have your friend back soon enough. Now, to be on with the _how_ of it all. There are two ways to share the memory and gain a second caster, as you are well aware. You have before the means for both. You may choose whatever route you so wish. Keep in mind that with the pensieve memories the likeness to the actual man may be slightly more lacking than if legilimency had been used. However, I am aware that most are unwilling to have their minds riffled through, so it is always an option."  
I darted my eyes over to Snape, who was trying his best to blend into a shadowy corner.

"You can read minds?" I grinned, "Oh, the Hufflepuffs were right then. They _knew_ there was no way you were just _that_ good at sensing trouble making."  
He huffed,

"I have never delved into the mind of a student for such trifle matters."

I shrugged,

"If you say so, then."

I examined his body language for a second, trying to figure out exactly how he felt about all of this.

"What about you then, how do you feel about having to use legilimency for this?"  
"...what?"  
I rolled my eyes, leaning slightly against the desk.  
"Well, going through some random persons mind can't be fun, and the casting of the spells for the portrait would be draining at best, even with both of us. There are dementors running amok, and a mass murderer on the loose, not a good time to be a bit on the drained side. Then you have to take into account that you'll actually have to be in _my_ mind, which isn't a pleasant place, I assure you. So, if you don't actually want to do it then I'm fine using a pensieve."

He blinked at me slowly, and the Headmaster was beaming. I had a feeling I had just proved him right about something.

"See Severus, I told you she wouldn't mind if you backed out now."

Snape glowered at him before turning a scowl on me.

"I will have no trouble with either the memory or the spell, Swift."

Oh, last names, is it? Then he was most likely doing this because Dumbledore asked him to, or because he figured having me owe him one would be good in the long run. Very Slytherin way of thinking.

I grinned,

"Alright then, what's first, Headmaster?"  
Setting up the runes for the spell, and getting the canvas in place took almost an hour. The canvas had to be susceptible to spell work in that it could be enlarged and used as a doorway, and then shrunk back to a more manageable size once it's stint as guardian was done. The canvas, blank and only 3 feet tall, one and a half wide at the moment, sat on an easel in the middle of an array of runes. There were 7 concentric circles of runes, the outer two done in ink, the next four done in black paint, and the inner one done in my own blood, since I was the primary caster.

Snape and I stood in the gaps between the last ink circle and the first paint circle. He turned to me, wand out and at his side.

"You are unlikely to have been versed in Occlumency, from before you lost your memory. However, just in case, I would like you to keep in mind that fighting me would only be painful for the both of us. Now, concentrate on the memory. The memory of the man you wish to be in the painting, exactly as you wish him to be captured forever. If he is furious in the memory, then he shall have anger as his foremost emotion even in the portrait. Try to keep in mind _where_ you wish him to be captured as well."

I nodded, remembering the research I had done into it. I already had the memory and location in mind. Snape would likely be slightly confused as the hum that could always be heard in the TARDIS library, but he would get over it. I wasn't having the Doctor separated from his blue box just for the sake of a cranky potions professor's curiosity.

"Very well then. _Legilimens!"_

The moment the spell hit me I knew my experience with psychic races would help here. It was much the same feeling as when they would slip through my mind. It was equally as easy to direct him to the memory. I saw it clearly, the Doctor, sitting in his favorite chair, a deep blue wingback with fluffy pillows scattered around. His brown hair was flopping into his eyes and he brushed it back absentmindedly, reading the book in front of him intently. The lights from the TARDIS gleamed off that brilliant red bowtie, casting slight shadows over where his tweed jacket was thrown over the table nearby. Shelves upon shelves of books extended as far as the eye could see, and beyond. Gleaming carvings of Circular Gallifreyan were scattered along the silver walls. A fez, matching the red bowtie, was sitting on the mantle to the fireplace, slightly dented still from our last adventure. At the Doctors elbow was a fresh plate of Fish fingers, with a small bowl of custard beside a large mug of tea.

The memory slipped away rather abruptly, and a large hand caught my upper arm before I could fall over. I looked up at Snape and his face was blank. Just like we had discussed before hand the both of us straightened without a word, turning to the easel and pointing our wands.

Both parts of the spell were nonverbal, and our wands shot jets of color at the blank canvas, color bleeding in. The painting formed over the course of a few minutes, heartbreakingly lifelike, and completely still. The moment the first spell was completed we started the wand motions for the next one, launching into the next part of the enchantment. This was the draining part, the portion of the spell that gave life and personality to the portrait.

I woke up on the floor to the sound of voices, and felt a hand on my shoulder. I opened my eyes instantly, flinching at the light. I hauled myself up to a sitting position, eyes automatically going to the canvas. The Doctor was there, grinning widely.

"Mara you brilliant girl you! Hogwarts, you're at _Hogwarts!_ How'd you manage that?"  
I grinned right back,

"Good to see you too, Doctor. It's a long story, I'm afraid. I'll tell you later. For now, how do you feel about guarding a certain tower?"  
It was lunchtime, and most of the students were in the Great Hall while we were putting the Doctor's portrait into place. He was running around, gabbering excitedly about everything, waving his sonic around uselessly. No one had commented, probably assuming it was his wand. He moved it fast enough, you couldn't tell the light wasn't the spark of a spell. Dumbledore levitated him for us, all the way to the tower, since neither Snape nor I had the energy for it. A pain in me I hadn't really noticed was there eased with the chatter, the familiar voice, the antics, all of it. This incarnation of the Doctor was the one most recently...deceased, in a way. And I'd never had a proper goodbye.

There were no students hanging around when we moved the Fat Lady's empty frame out of the way, fixing the Doctor in place. Dumbledore stepped back from him, eyeing the placement.

"Very nice. Now, Doctor…?"  
"Just, the Doctor."

"Right, then, Doctor. What would you like to set the password as? I need to be kept informed of this. You can travel through the frames of other portraits, should you have need to, and informing me of a change in password is one of those times when doing so might be necessary."

The Doctor didn't hesitate.

"Norwegian Ridgeback!"

I snorted,

"Dragons, of course you chose a dragon on your first go."

He stuck his tongue out at me.

"I could have done worse."

I rolled my eyes playfully.

"Yes, you could have given them Raxacoricofallapatorius on their first go, the poor dears. At least _try_ to keep in pronounceable."

The first student to arrive back at the tower, was of course, the Head Boy.

Dumbledore and Snape had long since left for lunch, Dumbledore to make the announcement about the change in portrait so the Gryffindors wouldn't lose their minds, and Snape to build back up his energy. He had recommended I do the same, but wasn't surprised when I stayed to chat with the Doctor.

"Hello Professor, is this our new guardian?"  
The Doctor's jaw dropped, and he whirled around to look at me.

"Professor? _You're_ a teacher? Who in their right mind made that happen?!"

I shrugged,

"I told the Headmaster it was a bad idea, but here we are anyway."

I turned to Percy,

"This is the Doctor. He's a new portrait, an old friend of mine. Do be kind to him."

Percy was nodding gravely, but the Twins were behind him and examining the Doctor, who was looking them over as well, barely hiding his excitement.

"A friend of yours, Professor?"  
"From America?"

The Doctor chose that moment to speak up,

"Me? American? Of course not, though I did have that incident with Marilyn Monroe…."  
I sighed,

"Doctor, do try to keep it PG. Anyway kids, you have fun. I'm going to go eat a horse or something."  
A plaintive cry of 'Not Susan!' followed me down the hall and I rolled my eyes, still grinning wildly. The Doctor was back. Sort of. Good enough for me.

 **~TimeLordOfPie**


	11. Chapter 11

Teachers and one Percy Weasley took up the new hobby of stalking young Harry Potter wherever he went. I knew there was no threat whatsoever, but I pitched in every now and then just to not seem strange. I mother henned Remus Lupin when he started looking haggard around time for the Full Moon, and I saw Minerva and Severus' separate 'aha' moments, when they realized that I hadn't been told what he was. He probably realized it as well, attempting to keep his distance.

I didn't allow that, sitting beside him at meals the day before a full moon and shoving food his way.

"You're looking pale again, Remus. Eat something, before you float away, you're looking skinnier too."

Remus was saved by the arrival of one Madame Hooch, shoving a school broom at me.

"Good, someones up. The Gryffindors need someone to observe practice, and I have somewhere to be. I was worried I'd have to cancel if Remus was the only one here. Looks like a good wind would blow him over at the moment."

She whirled around to leave, and I stared in horror at the broom in my hands. I heard snickering from beside me and glared at the werewolf, who swallowed it back quickly, not quite hiding his smile.

"Not a fan of flying then?"

"Never flown a broom before."

"What?!"

I shrugged, not taking my glare away from the broom.

"Not that I remember anyway. I'm sure I can convince Mister Wood that I can observe from the ground just fine…"

The Gryffindors were all on the pitch waiting for me, Oliver looking surprised that it was me. Great, she hadn't explained then.

I scowled at the world in general, clutching the broom.

"Alright, listen up, I'm saying this once. Madame Hooch had somewhere to be, and you've got me instead. I've never flown a broom in my life, so I'll be in the stands. Try not to get yourselves killed."

They stood there frozen, and I had to wonder if maybe the 'don't get killed' bit had been too much. Then the Twins recovered, looks of horror adorning both of their faces.

"Never flown a broom!?"

"What's America like, then, if you're not given classes on how to fly!?"

"This is blasphemy!"

Even young Harry Potter was giving me a mournful look and I sidled away from all of them a bit.  
"Yeah, well, I'll just sit in the stands. I've never seen a game of Quidditch either, so you guys better practice. I'll not have the first game I see sucking."

I stuck my tongue out at them playfully and they kicked into gear, the twins muttering all the way up into the air.

"Never seen a game-"

"-honestly, what other kinds of deprivation-"

"-has our poor American teacher gone through?"

"This has to be fixed-"

"-I agree completely."

Well, that was ominous. I watched them whirl through the air, tossing the balls back and forth, running through various drills. It was hours before they stopped, most of them making their way back into the castle after a quick wave my way. Harry was still up in the air, conversing with the twins and I settled back to wait on him.

After several moments Harry nodded and I had a feeling I wasn't going to like what came next. They swooped in, hovering in the air in front of me,

"Well, Professor, it's time for you to learn to fly!"

"We three Gryffindors have decided you need to learn, and who better to learn from than our glorious selves and the youngest seeker in a century?"  
I snorted, pointing down to the ground.

"I don't think so, boys."

The opened their mouths, all simultaneously, and I cut in, knowing if they got out their arguments I would crack.

"I'm guarding out here for a reason, I have to stay vigilant, and messing around on a broom for the first time isn't included in that category. I'm starting to like this job, it'd be nice to keep it."  
They sagged a bit and I sighed,

"After all of this mess is finished we'll see about it, alright?"

Highfives all around, and I knew I'd been played. I rolled my eyes, making a shooing motion.

"Go on then, I'll meet you on the ground."

I slid down the railing, rather than taking the stairs, walking over to the kids nonchalantly.

"I'll be walking you to the tower, today, if you don't mind."

Harry looked slightly annoyed, and opened his mouth to protest needing protection in the castle. I beat him to it.

"Mister Potter, this isn't about Sirius Black. This is about the portrait now guarding your common room being all that's left of my best friend."

His eyes widened,

"Really?"

I nodded, shoving the broom into the storage shed beside the twins'.

"Yup. The Doctor and I used to travel everywhere imaginable, getting into all sorts of trouble. And then he died. Professor Snape was kind enough to help me create the portrait, so now I have my friend back. You'll have to excuse me for hanging around your tower so often. I had thought him lost forever."

He shook his head,

"We don't mind. The Doctor's great. He always has something nice to say the lower years, and he's absolutely brilliant at everything. If the upper years have problems with Arithmancy he almost always can help them get back on track."

I nodded, furrowing my brow in thought.

"Yes, Arithmancy is awfully close to Muggle mathematics, so he would be brilliant at it. He's completely genius."

I grinned over at the three students,

"But he's absolutely mad, too."

The twins snorted,

"We noticed."

When we arrived at the tower the students went inside and I stayed, speaking with the Doctor. I talked to him everyday before I went out onto the grounds for my walk. He had been beyond excited at being in the world of magic, wizards, and dragons, and had promptly started spitting out theories as to how I had gotten there, and a few about how I could get home. He also had no idea what to do about the time line. He had actually shrugged when I asked him about it.

"I'm a painting. I can't see fixed points anymore, outside of my frame. What with the dimensional differences I can't _exactly_ say this falls under Time Lord jurisdiction anymore. Perhaps my current self will show up at some point."

I shrugged,  
"Doubtful. The rift closed behind me, and the TARDIS didn't seem very hopeful."

I cast a quick _tempus_ , ignoring the Doctor's' excited giggles and babbling about magic.

"I have to go feed the dog now, Doctor. I'll see you tomorrow."  
He waved enthusiastically.

"Be careful, Mara!"

"Aren't I always?"

He snorted, snuggling back down into his chair, not bothering to dignify that with an answer.

Sirius got ham today, and a lot of it.

"I get to see my first Quidditch match soon, canine. It's all very exciting, though Slytherin switching times has the Gryffindors up in arms. Hufflepuff vs Gryffindor shouldn't be too bad though. I got to watch the Gryffindors practice and it was brilliant! Not that I know much about it, if I knew anything about that sport it was left with the rest of my memories. Ministry of Magic, my ass. Their the clowns of magic, the dumbass representatives of arcane arts, the cunts of cluelessness. Something along those lines."

I got a dog in my lap for my troubles and I huffed out a breath.

"For such a skinny thing you're awfully heavy."

I ran my fingers through his scraggly fur and sighed,

"I wish I knew who had gotten you into the state you were in before I started feeding you. I'd rip their heads off and shove it up their ass, for their troubles."

He let out a huff of air I decided to interpret as laughter. I sat back against the stone wall of the castle, grateful we had given up meeting by the willow when the weather went to hell. I sighed heavily.  
"I don't know what to do, boy. Everyone's up in arms about the guy who escaped that prison, but their stories don't make sense. I asked the portraits about him as a kid and most were unable to believe him capable of what they say he did. There are no records of a trial, and I _know_ how shitty the justice system is here...but he attacked the tower where Harry lives. It's not looking good, but it's all muddled. I'm used to being able to see the signs as if lit up by neon, whipping out a plan from nowhere, and fixing the problem. But there's no one to hit, nothing to make go away, no coup d'etat to organize….well, I'll hold off on that last one. I'm not a fan of the current administration and there's a rather promising Gryffindor who'd I'd be willing to put into place. But then again, it's been a few months since I've toppled a foreign government…"

He sat up straight, licking my nose. I wrinkled it, leaning back slightly.

"Hey, dog breath, what was that for? You support the dismantling of the British Ministry of Magic?"  
I got a happy doggy grin and could only snort, pushing him off my lap.

"Whatever, canine. I have detention with one Mister Malfoy to oversee."

I stood, brushing off the jeans I had taken to wearing under my teachers outer robe.

"He said a rather nasty m-word in my presence, and now I get to tortu-I mean entertain him, for a few hours."

I gave his ears a quick ruffle before heading back into the castle for the night.

Dinner was just ending and I nodded to the students that passed me, speaking with Luna for several minutes as I walked, giving a tip on something from her Herbology assignment. When she left for her tower I saw a few upper year Slytherins eyeing her and laughing amongst themselves. I raised an eyebrow at them.

"Care to join your fellow Slytherin in detention this evening?"

Enthusiastic denials.

"Then I suggest you move along. Loitering makes it look like you're...up to something."

I drug out the last part of my sentence, copying a scene with Snape that I couldn't fully remember the circumstances for. They scattered and I made my way to my classroom, where a sullen Draco Malfoy was standing outside the door, for once lacking his two companions. I grinned at him, opening the door with a wave of my hand.

"In you go, Mister Malfoy. I have plans for you today."

Unlike the twins Draco Malfoy could not be trusted to keep silent. But he deserved help as well. He made mistakes in the future, but he was just a kid. Now and then. He didn't know what was truly at stake, didn't truly understand the enormity of his choices, and what he'd done. He had no one to trust, and so he trusted the wrong people in the end. I was hoping to give him someone more in the grey to keep in mind as an option. And I was grey. I didn't agree with the current ministry, but neither was I on Voldies team.

I pulled out my wand, flicking it at the blackboard, clearing it with magic. I pulled off my outer robe, revealing a short sleeved shirt. I didn't particularly care that Draco was staring at the newly revealed marks, tossing the coat onto my desk. I motioned to the desks in the front row,

"Take a seat."

He did so, watching me warily.

I pulled out a piece of chalk,

"Get out some parchment, maybe a quill. I would advise taking notes. You are getting an advanced theory class."

He made a face and I tutted,

"Now, Mister Malfoy, you're an intelligent kid so I'm giving you an opportunity others in the class don't get. If you don't take anything away from this lesson it's because you didn't pay attention, or you didn't _want_ to listen."

I turned back to the board, writing MAGIC in big block letters and turning back to the kid.

"Magic. What is it?"

He stared at me blankly,

"It's magic."

I rolled my eyes,

"Not what I meant, but whatever."

I moved my wand in a gentle arc, letting loose a few silver sparks.

"It's a force, Mister Malfoy. It's a way of life. It's dangerous, but also beautiful and marvelous. Get enough of it concentrated in one place and it takes on a life of its own."

I motioned around us,

"Hogwarts itself is testament to that. Get a few hundred adolescents leaking magical power and put them in the same place. These hallowed grounds are impossibly powerful because the wards feed off this abandoned power, and they turn that power around and recycle it in order to protect the youths who give it life."

He looked interested for the first time since he had arrived this evening, and I could only hope he stayed that way.

"Now, magical power is leaked from the children, but where do the children get it?"

I actually got an answer this time.

"From their parents."  
I nodded,

"Yes, and no."

I leaned back against the wall by the board, crossing my arms.

"What did I say in class the other day about the origin of humanity?"

There was a moment while he gathered his thoughts from the abrupt change in subject.

"Either a deity put us here starting with two people, or we all formed as nature allowed."

I nodded,

"Very good, now I want you to keep that in mind."

I turned to the board, sketching out three separate 2x2 punnett squares.

"Have you ever seen a child who got a feature from some distant relative, rather than their own parents? Like their Grandmothers striking green eyes, rather than their mother or fathers brown?"  
He nodded so I continued.

"Well, that's because it's random chance which traits you get from who, but you get half from each. For example, I have my great great grandmothers facial structure. I looked nothing like my mother, and it often threw off the people who saw us in public or at family functions and the like. Now-"

I sketched out to the side of the first square, and on the first column to the left, on the first row, 'M' and under it another capital 'M'. I put the same on the top, filling in all four boxes with their 'MM's.

I turned back to him, pointing to the top row.

"The top row is the traits from the father, in this case capital 'M' shall stand for the trait that gives magic. The column belongs to the mother. In this case, there is a 100% probability that the child will have magic."

I turned to the next square. The top row was given a 'M' and a 'm', the column as well.

"This is going to be a halfblood, alright? The lowercase 'm' shall be lack of magic. See how each carries it, but the big M is in front? Magic is dominant. If it's there it will usually fight it's way to the forefront. I did extensive research over all of this mess over the summer. There is a 25% chance that the child of these two half bloods won't so much as carry the _possibility_ for a squib. There is a 50% chance of another halfblood who has the possibility of carrying a squib. And then there is a 25% chance of having the squib in question."

I moved on to the next square, putting a 'M' on the top right next to a 'm', and then two lowercase 'm's on the column.

"This is two squibs."

"How is that possible? You said magic would fight it's way to the front, and that has magic!"

I smiled,

"Usually, I said usually it would fight it's way to the front. But after so many generations of Squibs, the gene for magic will surface again as a recessive. It will appear randomly once again and allow for a magic line, several generations after it was thought lost. Do you know why?"

A headshake.

"There is no such thing as 'muggle'."

The affronted look that got me caused me to snort and wave my hand to prevent a fit.

"Remember about the whole, 'we all formed at the same time' thing? Well, the odds of only having magic pop up in a few and then not spread, or not die out completely, is so miniscule that it's laughable. In the beginning there were wizards. Everyone had the same genes as the halfblood up here, because that's how magic popped up. You see here how some got that 'pure' gene combination? Pureblood lines are an accident. Squibs happen because somewhere down the line a smaller strain of the trait pops up and purely on accident, once again, ends up in the child. Therefore, muggleborns are easily explained. Magic is in the blood of their families, from the very beginning of time itself. And it made itself manifest in them. You call it dirty blood. By all rights it is a miracle. It's an achievement. It's not so surprising for a pureblood to have magic, it's expected. It's an amazing feat of chance and magic that a line long devoid of the trait finds it again."

He was wavering, I could practically smell it, but he was putting on that pureblood mask once again.

"So you're saying that muggles are just long lines of squibs in a row?"

I raised an eyebrow at him,

"I can prove it."

Well, that floored him.

"I can take a sample of blood, examine what's in it, and locate exactly what gives someone magic. I wrote a paper on it, the Headmaster found it an interesting read, I'm told. I thought about publishing a book on it, but I really don't wish to be bothered with couples asking me to help them ensure they get a 'pure' child. Because that's utter rubbish. Magic is everywhere, the close minded many just choose to ignore it. I hadn't pegged you as unintelligent, or incapable of learning. It's disappointing to see you subscribing to the theories of others when I know you have a brain that's perfectly capable of entertaining its own."

I dropped the chalk onto the tray, leaning against my desk.

"I have found all of this, and yet, I have found no correlation between purity of blood, and strength of magical ability. 'Pureblood strength' is a myth at this stage, because you guys are going about it wrong, going off tradition rather than research, theory, and what is already understood."

I sighed, closing the curtains with a wave of my hand, cutting off the light from outside and dimming the room considerably.

"You may go. I want a foot of parchment on what you believe to be needed to make up a 'strong' human being. Your detention with Professor McGonagall that was scheduled for next Friday is now mine. I want you to bring it then, and we'll go over it."

He packed his things up quickly, and I noticed he had copied down the squares, even finishing off the last one that I hadn't filled in completely. Fast learner indeed. He could have been so much more...and maybe now he will actually have a chance to realize this.

 **~TimeLordOfPie**


	12. Chapter 12

The week was spent in anticipation of the upcoming match, and I was on an almost constant sugar high, joining in the excitement. I showed little illusionary versions of some of history's greatest moments in sports, explaining briefly how things like that lifted spirits during dark times. I decided on a whim to put one of my pet projects into action.

"Mister Weasley, would you mind staying for a second?"

Percy Weasley was many things. Kind probably wasn't one of them. But he had potential.

He grabbed his things, walking over to my desk, where I actually sat at my chair for once,

"Is there something wrong, Professor?"

I shrugged,

"It really depends on how you want to look at it. I understand that you wish to pursue a career in government?"

He nodded, looking slightly suspicious, the instinct probably ingrained in him from years of living with the twins. Good. Caution was a useful trait to have.

"Well, I have a dilemma. You see, the British Ministry of Magic has a considerable hold on my life at the moment, but I find I'm having trouble figuring out certain aspects of it. I was hoping you would be willing to help me with this. There's some research I was hoping to get done about a certain...delicate issue, and need someone trustworthy and knowledgable. Would you be willing to help me with this research project of mine? I understand that while this project would be a good way to exercise your skills it is your NEWT year. Therefore, in exchange I would be willing to help with any of your other classes."

He had drawn himself up proudly at the 'trustworthy and knowledgable' part, and wasn't phased at the mention of NEWTs.

"Of course I'm willing to help, Professor."

We scheduled out a time for that evening for him to report to my classroom, and he left for his next class, clutching the excuse note I had given him.

That evening when he entered my classroom I was sitting on the desk, waiting for him.

"Have a seat, Mister Weasley. Did you ever wonder why I was teacher here, rather than in America?"

He shifted guiltily and I waved a hand,

"Doesn't matter. What matters, is how I ended up in Britain. Please don't discuss what I tell you here with other students."

I was given a swift promise, and I continued.

"I'm told I was involved with an Apparition accident. The main theory is that I tried to apparate away from danger without my wand in hand, and I missed my mark. I landed in Muggle London, seriously confused, and concussed. Agents from the ministry aggravated my injury, despite all their rules and regulations, ignoring their usual procedures that would prevent further harm from coming to me."

His expression said he could tell where this was going, and he was dreading it.

"They apparated you somewhere, didn't they?"

I nodded, and he continued.

"And now you can't remember why you were so desperate to run away?"

I gave him a half smile, putting my elbow on my knee, and my chin in my hand.

"Mister Weasley, I'm Muggle raised. I woke up in Saint Mungos, with no memory of magic at all."

His horrified expression was that of a Pureblood who couldn't imagine life without magic.

"But the Minister helped you, didn't he? He got you this position at Hogwarts?"

I shook my head.

"Minister Fudge was present when a Healer questioned me to find out how much I could remember of myself. His very first suggestion was to obliviate me further, and to 'dump me with the muggles'."

Percy's world was being shaken to the core, but I continued.

"His legal counsel advised against it, so he contacted Hogwarts and left me to Professor McGonagall. His solution was to simply retrain my control with magic. I wasn't allowed to contact the American Ministry. The only reason I have a job at all is because I'm qualified to teach this subject and the Headmaster wished to add it to the curriculum once more. It was a convenience hire, and I got lucky."

He was staring into space now, and I had to wonder if he would chose Fudge's side, the man he had never met, or the teacher he'd known for a few months now. I sighed,

"Mister Weasley, I understand if you don't want to help me with this project. I could always-"

"No."

It was unusual for him to interrupt, so I raised an eyebrow and let him continue.

He looked determined, and I could see why he was Gryffindor, rather than Slytherin for that ambition of his.

"I'll help. If the Ministry can cover a mess-up this severe then what else have they hidden?"

I smirked, swishing my wand to summon the law books from my office.

"Let's begin, then, shall we?"  
We set a schedule that evening, of when we would meet and for how long. Three days a week, for varying hours each day. I left the door to the classroom wide open, and several students would wander in occasionally for help. I would give them quick explanations, and send them on their way. It didn't take long for word to spread about our research project, and I heard the twins complaining to their brother at breakfast the next day about how he had corrupted me to his pompous ways.

I had snorted tea through my nose, getting a few giggles from Remus and a put-upon sigh from Snape. That evening I informed the Doctor of what I was doing, and my vague endgame. He had simply raised an eyebrow at me.

"So you've decided to mess with time?"

I shrugged and he rolled his eyes.

"Good luck then. You're going to need it."

Telling Sirius was a bit more fun.

"I've set some of my plans in motion for that coup d'etat."

He choked on his chicken and I cackled.

"I've surprised a dog! Oh, happy day. This is a new one for me. Well, sort of. There was that time in Barcelona...I think. Anyway, I have that to do now, and I have more people to talk to outside of class, other than you."

I stuck my tongue out at him for a second before going somber again.

"I've done a bit more 'mass murderer research'. The article Fudge supposedly showed to him that supposedly gave him reason to escape had no mention of Harry Potter. And those reports of muttering "He's at Hogwarts" in his sleep, all of a sudden, well it's bullshit. Sirius Black knew how old Harry Potter was, he'd know he was at school. No, he was talking about someone in that article. The article was about the Weasleys going to Egypt. The only Weasleys 'at Hogwarts' are Percy, my chosen for the Minister's position, you'll be pleased to know, the twins, and Ronald. All are in Gryffindor, so they could feasibly be the one under attack, but why the hell would someone want to kill any of them? I understand the twins make a few enemies with those pranks of theirs, but they hardly sent a Hogwarts toilet seat to Azkaban. And it wouldn't be worth death, if they had. If I was in prison I would laugh my ass off to get a toilet seat in the mail. Randomness is good for the soul. Ron's rat is probably here, but it's a rat."

I huffed,

"So I've gone exactly nowhere. At least I have the match to look forward to."

The dog gave me a doggy grin, and I rolled my eyes.

 _I wonder what you're thinking. What do you think of my search for the truth? Or do you just stick around my insanity because I'm a steady source of food?_

I scratched his ears one last time before standing.

"I'd better go. I've never met a dementor before, and I'd like it to stay that way. See you tomorrow, canine."

The day before the match Remus was 'ill', and students stormed around after Defense Against the Dark Arts. I winced in sympathy, being more gentle than usual with those who'd had the misfortune of having Snape teach the class. My detention approached quicker than I was expecting. Draco entered the room, bag in hand, scowl in place. I rolled my eyes, motioning to a desk.

"Have a seat, Mister Malfoy, and turn in the assignment from your last detention."

I read through it swiftly, setting it down the moment I'd finished, turning to the board, writing the individual traits down and turning back to him.

"You just meshed together the mantras from all of the divisions of the American Military. Congratulations. There are muggles out in force that fit your description of strength."

He spluttered,

"Muggle soldiers can't do magic!"

I raised an eyebrow, leaning against the board.

"You didn't say 'magic', you said 'those who are adept at their art'. Well guess what, they tend to be really good at what they do. I say that as someone who was taught to loathe soldiers in any and every form."

He was glaring at his desk now.

"Draco."

He looked up at me, surprised.

"These views you hold, where did you hear them?"

"...my father."

"Okay, so they're what your father thinks. Someone once said that we are only the sum of the influence of the people around us. I disagree. I believe that each of us has purpose, will, and spirit. Each of us come with a destiny, one that we can change, if we try hard enough. You are not your father. By whipping out the name of your father each time you need to win an argument, you overuse that card. If you cling to your father and _his_ connections, then you shall never make your own. You shall forever be known as your fathers son, rather than your own person. Is that what you wish? To just be a shadow of what you're capable of, forever hidden behind the accomplishments of your father?"

He shook his head, face slightly confused and a little pained.

"Then form your own opinions. Observe what's going on around you. You have been looking, but you haven't been _seeing_."

I let him chew on that for a second.

"What do you want to do for a living?"

He raised an eyebrow expression going haughty. I cut him off before he could continue.

"Living off your families money counts as hiding in your father's' shadow, you know."

His mouth snapped shut and I continued.

"And as for taking up a similar position in the Ministry that he arranges for you...bit of the same principle. What do _you_ want. Not 'Mister Malfoy', not 'Heir of the House'. What does _Draco_ want from life?"

I think I broke him. He could have withdrawn, put on that pureblood mask once again, but I don't think he knew what to do with this situation. No one in a position of 'authority' such as a teacher had ever truly confronted him about this before. Probably out of fear or wariness of his father.

"I don't know."

He sounded heartbreakingly lost, so I folded myself into my usual position, sitting on top of the desk.

"Well, what classes do you enjoy the most?"

"Potions. Ancient Runes. Arithmancy."

I raised an eyebrow,

"No Defense? I'm told that's a favorite."

He shifted in his seat, refusing to meet my eye.

I shrugged,

"Okay then, there are plenty of careers involving those three. Most of it involves research."

I thought for a second.

"I know you also like Quidditch, yes?"

Tentative nod.

"Well, something where you could fly, use those three subjects, and gives you a modicum of control over your own existence...there are a few things like that."

I uncurled, slipping off my desk and opening one of the drawers, summoning the pamphlets I needed. I had gathered a rather stupid number of them before today, anticipating this conversation happening eventually.

I walked over to his desk, placing them gently on the edge.

"Have a look at these. If one appeals to you then you can see which classes and grades you'll need for them. If you ever have questions or need help then remember, I'm always here. You're young and intelligent. Don't let having money stand in the way of being the kind of person you want to be, or having the kind of life you want to live."

He looked up from the pamphlets, finally meeting my eyes.

"Did you have this problem?"

I smirked,

"Oh hell no. I started with nothing and fought my way to power. I had a position of influence, I had connections. But I'm here now, and that's over. You can go. Have a nice weekend, Mister Malfoy. Do try to stay out of trouble, this time."

He gathered the pamphlets and left, and I had to wonder if those pamphlets wouldn't meet a hasty end the moment he got back to the dungeons.

 **~TimeLordOfPie**


	13. Chapter 13

The day of the first Quidditch match the weather was shit. I watched the Gryffindor team struggle to get food down, while I was vibrating with excitement. I could almost feel the eyeroll Snape threw my way. Minerva gave me a pat on the shoulder,

"It's fine, dear. Be excited about it if you wish. Someone around here needs to dispel this gloom."

I walked with the other teachers to their section of the stands, part of me wishing I could sit with the students, their sections seemed more exciting. But we did have the announcer at least. It was the most exciting sports event I'd ever attended, and I'd been to the World Cup Finale in 3034. _That_ was a spectacle. I got lost in the game, cheering fanatically at every exciting moment, trying not to take sides.

I noticed the moment the dementors came out in force. The cold seeped into our bones, and my breath became visible. I drew my wand, patronus streaking out to accompany the students through the air, absentmindedly informing those beside me of my logic.

"It would suck to fall from that height." I'd always wondered why none of the teachers capable of the charm had done it then, especially Dumbles.

The fox herded the players towards the ground, ending the game as the dementors came closer, the fox seemed to sense Harry weakening, because as he started to topple from his broom it streaked towards him. I had barely enough time to hear Dumbledore slowing Harry's descent. The dementors were too close, and my patronus too far away.

' _Mara! Mara, don't you dare! Don't you dare give up now, Mara! This isn't over, I swear it isn't!'_

 _Doctor?_

I shot up in a bed, sucking in air like I was surfacing from the lake, eyes wide. I was close to hyperventilating until I noticed the people were crowded around the bed to my right, they had turned and were looking at me, pale underneath the grime that covered them. I didn't realize I was shaking until one of the twins stepped over, patting my shoulder gently.

"It's alright Professor, you're in the hospital wing. Do you remember what happened?"

I glanced over at where Harry was lying in bed, feeling the shame from failure creep over me.

I sighed,

"Yeah, I remember. Harry fell of his broom, didn't he? If I'd been a bit quicker with that patronus neither of us would have ended up in here, kid."

I banged my head back against the wall, wincing and feeling a lump on it. Must have hit my head when I passed out. I glanced back up at the twin that was at my bedside,

"How'd the match go, though?"

Oliver Wood spoke up, face grim, and I absentmindedly wondered why he was here. Wasn't he supposed to be 'drowning himself in the showers'?

"Match was postponed. Diggory would have had the snitch while Harry was falling, but he saw your patronus, and realized something was up. We would have lost otherwise…"

I snorted,

"I'm more worried about people's health at the moment, how is everyone?"

Angelina patted my shoulder gently,

"Everyone's fine other than you and Harry. Well, and the broom…"

Harry's reaction to that suggested he already knew his broom was gone. I winced in sympathy,

"What will he fly for the rematch game?"

No answer. Ew, a school broom then. I sighed,

"Perhaps you can petition that next weekend Slytherin plays Hufflepuff instead, they got a break for seeker injury, your seeker's technically injured as well…"

Wood practically danced out of the Hospital Wing to find Minerva and I watched him for a second before I couldn't hold it in any longer. I snorted, and it turned into full on laughter a few seconds later. I wiped my watering eyes,

"Oh, jeez, you kids will be the end of me."

"But we almost were."

It was the first time Harry had spoken since I woke, and he sounded sullen.

"If you hadn't been worried about us then you would have been able to protect yourself."

I rolled my eyes,

"Not gunna happen, kiddo. I've put my life on the line for worse causes than innocent school children. And those two not-so-innocent devils."

The twins pulled a wide eyed look and I laughed for a second,

"Not, fooling me kids. I've caused enough trouble, I know how to spot it."

I heard shuffling from the other end of the hospital wing and sighed,

"Is there enough time for escape?"

I glanced at Harry, and saw he was in agreement. I made to stand but Poppy rushed into the room, carrying a tray. She saw me trying to get up and glared. I grinned nervously,

"Hey, Poppy. Lovely to see you. I can see you're busy, so I'll just be on my way-"

"I don't think so young lady. Eat this chocolate. I'm keeping you for observation, you and Mister Potter both."

We groaned in tandem, earning snickers from the Gryffindor team. I mock glared at them,

"Whatever happened to respect, eh?"

Malfoy didn't mock Harry for his episode, none of the Slytherins did. I found out why in my first class on Monday. A fifth year Slytherin girl raised her hand before I could start the lesson. I groaned dramatically.

"Is it going to be that kind of day? Because all I've got to drink in my desk at the moment is tea, and that won't help if it's that kind day."  
A few students laughed, but the girl persevered. I sighed,

"Fine, what is it?"  
"Why did you send your patronus away? We heard you were hurt because you did, so why would you do it?"

Is 'children are sacred' not an easy thing to understand here?

"As a teacher the students are my responsibility. We here at Hogwarts are around you more often than your own family. Is it really so odd that we would care about your wellbeing?"

"But more than your _own_?" I rolled my eyes at the girl,

"Yes, more than my own health."

I leaned against the back of my desk,

"I have no family of my own. Therefore I find the grumpy children and young adults that I have to _somehow_ prepare for the world are very good for filling that void in a grumpy adults heart."

I stood up,

"But, I am not the Grinch, and I'm not planning to steal Christmas anyway so that's irrelevant at the moment."

The one Muggleborn Gryffindor in the class chuckled at my joke and I pointed to him dramatically.

"Someone did their research!"

I reached into my desk and pulled out a random piece of candy, tossing it to him.

"Now, who knows the names of the two guys who supposedly founded Rome, I mentioned them last week…"

Classes went similarly that week, with various other kids asking if I was alright, rather than why. It was kind of stupid. Snape had risked himself for students before, hadn't he? Perhaps not publically at this point in time. By the end of that week I was practically pulling my hair out,

"Why can't these children just accept that there's an adult that cares about their health?!"

Percy just sighed, continuing to flip through his notes.

"I don't know, Professor. Perhaps it's because you're new."

I grumbled about it until it blew over, and the Christmas season was upon me. The first kid to wish me a 'Happy' Christmas the day before break began came as a surprise. It was Ron Weasley, just as the class was packing up to leave. I sat down heavily in my chair, staring at nothing.

"Oh. Christmas. Right."

Pansy paused,

"Are you alright, Professor?"  
I waved them away,

"Go on, I'm fine, just being all old and alone over here."

The Hogsmeade weekend saw me in casual clothes, blending in with the teenagers. I wandered into Honeydukes, sticking around until I saw Ron and Hermione gather around the unusual tastes center. I watched their strange conversation with two people, and someone invisible. I rolled my eyes, deciding to let them have their fun. Sirius Black wasn't actually after him. I wandered around Hogsmeade, unsure what to do with myself. I'd already gotten various gifts for the other staff members, and bits of candy were set to be sent to some of the students. I had no shopping to do, and I wasn't even certain why I was there. Until I saw the door to the Three Broomsticks slam open, and no one exit. Footprints appeared in the snow, rapidly heading out towards Honeydukes. I watched Ron and Hermione hustle to keep up, stopping when the door to Honeydukes slammed open. I saw them stop, speak softly, and then head back to the castle.

I managed to corner Harry in the library one day when they were searching through law books. I slipped into the aisle beside him where he was flipping through one of the books. He jumped about a foot in the air when I spoke.

"So, care to explain something for me?"

He put the book back, watching me warily.

"Professor?"

I smirked,

"Well in Hogsmeade the other day your friends seemed awfully worried about these footprints left behind by some invisible guy…"

He was tensed and looked a bit desperate.

"It wont happen again, Professor, I just wanted to-"

I flopped my hand lazily through the air.

"Stop, kid. Not interested. I wanna know how. No harm, no foul, as they say. Of course if anyone asks I had no clue you were ever outside of the castle."

He stared at me for a second and I elaborated.

"You're not an idiot, Harry. I'm trusting you not to do something stupid with this ill begotten freedom of yours. Now spill, I hate those dementors with a passion, I wanna avoid 'em just as much as you."

That night most of my planning had fallen into place. I fed Sirius, plopping down on the ground more roughly than usual and staying silent, pulling him into a doggy friendly hug the moment he was done.

"Things just got ten more levels of confused, canine."

I kept the hug, knowing that if he could see my face the troublemaker would be aware I was fudging the truth slightly.

"Harry, ah, Harry Potter, one of my third year students. He has this...this map. It's accurate, very accurate. It tells not just the locations of walls and rooms, but people as well. Pettigrew...everyone says he was a hero, _died_ a hero. But then why is his name on the map?"

The dog went still, tail freezing mid-wag. I continued,

"I thought of following it, but Harry had the map still, and I wasn't willing to confiscate it from him. Kid has enough problems. I...don't know what to do anymore. Who is the bad guy, who is wrong, who do I listen to? Because Fudge doesn't rate high on the 'people I trust' list, hell, he isn't on it at all. Dumbles himself barely has a place down there in the middling to bottom range."

I gave a tighter squeeze for a split second before releasing him to fall onto my back in the grass, watching the blue slowly fade from the sky.

"I'm out of ideas. After this I wait and see. I never was one for patience. But if there is some sort of threat to one of my students…"

I growled, low in my throat, the way Madame Vastra had taught me that was as accurate as a puny humans vocal cords could get.

"I'm almost tempted to turn to _divination_ of all things…"

I stood suddenly, brushing myself off. I held out my hand and the handkerchief flew into it, as per usual. I vanished it with a flick of my fingers.

"I should get going, before this makes me lose my mind…"

There was was a tug at my jeans, and I glanced down, raising an eyebrow at him.

"Well, this is new." I could barely contain my excitement. Plans, plans, plans. Trelawney never makes a prophecy about wormtail, therefore it never needs to come true. Honestly, I wasn't sure how Voldie would manage the Triwizard thing without his babysitter. Then again, I didn't care much.

He lead the way to the Whomping Willow and I eyed it warily.

"If this is a new game you wanna try, 'dodge the tree', well, I usually play that while driving a car. I'm not good at it then either."

He had to stop for a second, I don't know if he was rethinking his choice of ally or trying not to 'doggie laugh'. When he continued he darted into the trees reach, whapping the knot before rolling out of the way of one of the branches as it fell into listlessness. He looked back at me, tongue lolling out, before he entered the tunnel at the base of the tree. I waited for a second, examining the tree. The dogs head popped back out, just staring at me. I groaned,

"Fine, fine. We'll see where this goes then. You'd better not be a serial killer of some sort. I swear I read something like this in a murder mystery."

We reached the end of the tunnel, and I followed the dog up the stairs of the Shrieking Shack. We entered one of the rooms and I had barely a second to think before his form blurred and a rather skinny, pale, _tall_ man was standing in front of me. I blinked once. Twice. Then swore explosively.

"What did I _just_ fucking say about serial killers? Damn it, of all the times for me to do something spontaneous...let's just follow the dog, it's a rather nice dog, I'm sure nothing will happen. Oh, I'll just find out I've been _feeding the fugitive_. If I get out of this that's the name of the fucking book I'll have to write."

I had started pacing halfway through, and Sirius was just looking at me, trying not to laugh. I glared at him, hands on hips.

"Well, what the hell is this? Because if you're going to try to pull a Slitheen and wear my rotting carcass as a skin suit around the castle then you picked the wrong fucking victim, buddy."

I put my hands up a weak approximation of a martial arts ready position.

He finally laughed, explosively. There were slight tears in his eyes. I sighed, sitting down in one of the few non crumbling chairs and crossing my legs, waiting for him to finish. He brushed the water out of his eyes, before sighing.

"You have no idea how long I've been waiting to do that, Swift."

I wrinkled my nose at him,

"You do realize that solidifies the 'you're insane' theory, right? Randomly laughing when people threaten you?"

He snorted, actually sitting down on the dilapidated bed. Obviously, I am not considered a threat.

"Swift, do you want to know the truth or not?"

"Well, curiosity killed the cat."

"And satisfaction brought it back. Besides, I don't think you're much of a cat person."

I rolled my eyes,

"Fine, out with it canine."

"I'm innocent."

"...go on."

The next hour the ex convict spoke, and when he was through his underused voice failed him.

I sighed, reaching into my robe pocket and pulling out a bottle of water.

At his expression I explained.

"I used to...travel with someone who put something like those undetectable extension charms on pretty much everything. Now that I've figured out how to do it there's no stopping me. I've got the Second Year Ravenclaw's homework in one of these suckers, and don't even _ask_ about my bag."

He snorted, taking a sip from the water before croaking out,

"So, do you believe me or not?"  
I met his eyes, grey. Not a color I had encountered before in humans.

I found myself nodding.

"And I have a plan, if you're willing to cooperate."

He shrugged,

"My plan was just 'kill the rat'."

I rolled my eyes, standing swiftly and sticking my hands in my pocket.

"How about one where you can escape alive, clear your name, _and_ take your godson away from the miserable muggles I've heard horror stories about."

I knew I had him at the last bit. I raised an eyebrow,

"So, canine, what's it gonna be?"

He ran a large hand through his bedraggled hair,

"We'll do this your way."

A pause, then,

"Are you really planning to overthrow Fudge?"

"Do you really want to know?"

"...A bit, yeah."

"Then yes. That useless bastard is going down."

 **~TimeLordOfPie**


	14. Chapter 14

Percy found me sitting at my desk, head in my hands. I heard him pause at the door before moving slowly towards my desk. There was a letter in front of me, slightly crumpled, the ink splattered everywhere throughout the margins.

"Are you alright, Professor?"  
"...I'm not sure."

He snorted,

"How can you not be sure?"  
"...It depends."

"On what?"  
"Scabbers."

"Scabbers? My old rat?"

"Yeah."  
"What about him?"  
"Is he missing an index finger on his left forepaw?"

"Y-Yes, he is."

"And he's been with you for around 12 years now, hasn't he."

"Yes, but what-"

"The longest life span for a rat ever recorded was 6 years, and it was considered a miracle. Three-Five is more like it, but yours...but this…"

Percy tried to pry the letter I was now clutching out of my hands, but his gentle approach was making it useless. I looked back up at him, eyes wide and slightly vacant, channeling Luna as best as possible.

"If this letter is correct…"

Percy finally managed to get the letter away from me, reading it through. He went slowly through it, going pale the further down he got. He sank into the closest chair, putting the letter on his desk, taking his glasses off to massage the bridge of his nose.

"This...it can't be true...it must be a lie."  
"It's simple enough to check."

"But it just _can't_ be true!"

"Whether you _like_ the truth or not you have no choice but to accept it! Never refuse to even entertain the possibility of something. I know you hate the thought of this, frankly it scares me a little, Percy. But all we have to do is check. If Pettigrew is indeed an animagus then it would be simple to reveal it with a spell. I confiscated an experimental something or another from your brothers that would do the trick to get him here. Fainting Fancies or something other. Don't tell the twins, but it's brilliant. Are you with me Percy?"

"To do what?!"

"To either catch a killer, or prove him innocent."

After a minute of silence had passed I thought I miscalculated. He was going to run to someone with authority and this would be over before it began. Then he visibly steeled himself.

"What do you need me to do?"

I paced around my office for thirty minutes before Percy was back, clutching what looked like a rumpled cloak in his hands.

"Did he eat it?"  
Percy rolled his eyes,

"Of course he ate it, he was my rat for ten years, if I offer him a treat he's going to snap it up. Took a while to get him to come out, he was hiding for some reason."  
I shrugged, eyeing the bundle as Percy set it down on a desk.

"Hermione and Ron have been having issues with him and Crookshanks lately, he's probably fleeing from the cat."

Percy paused in his unwrapping of the rat, turning to look at me.

"Do all Professors know as much about us as you do?"

I shrugged once again,

"I pay attention. Students are more willing to talk in front of me for some reason."  
"Probably because you tend to turn a blind eye to everything but murder."

He sounded disapproving so I elbowed him slightly.

"That thrill of fear and dread that they get when they realize that they're caught is usually enough punishment for me. And the more amusing their expressions are the less likely I am to punish."  
He sighed,

"That's not the way you're supposed to go about it, Professor."  
"Oi, you trying to tell me how to do my job?"  
"No, I'm telling you how _not_ to do your job."

I sighed,

"Even the model of good behavior has no respect for me anymore…Come on, we should get this over with before he wakes up or Ronald realizes that he's missing."

I plucked him from the top of the desk, setting him down on the chair I had moved to the middle of the room. I pointed my wand, blue light shooting out and hitting the rat. Which didn't stay a rat. He morphed, unfolding and growing, finally coming to rest as a man in ragged black clothes. Percy made a strangled noise before falling into a chair. I let my breath out slowly,

"Well. It would appear as if the letter was correct. Percy?"

"Hm?"

"Please fetch the Headmaster. I would also suggest that someone procure Veritaserum, I wouldn't put it past the Ministry to try to cover this up, it must be done correctly."

By the time Percy came stumbling back in, followed by Dumbledore and Snape, Pettigrew was tied thoroughly to the chair, still snoring away. When they entered I stood from my seat,

"Can either of you identify this wizard?"

Dumbledore nodded gravely,

"This is indeed, Peter Pettigrew. Mr. Weasley has already informed me of how this came about, would you care to revive him, Marissa? Severus, be ready with the truth potion."

I pointed my wand at the man in the chair,

" _Rennervate._ "

I wasn't involved in the process once they got the Ministry involved. Both Percy and I were sent away, fuming. Percy was furious for me at being excluded,

"How dare they?! How are we _not_ involved!?"

I sighed, whacking him lightly on the shoulder.

"Chill, Percy. There are still things to be done."

"Such as?"

"Spread the word. Use the Hogwarts grapevine to our advantage. We want to get to public opinion before the Ministry does. It will be in the Prophet tomorrow, whatever they want everyone to believe. They could either admit they were wrong, unlikely, ignore it all together and make it go away quietly, more likely, or announce that Pettigrew was hiding afraid for his life the entire time, the most likely."

"But...we were told not to share it with anyone."  
I rolled my eyes, motioning him to follow,

"Yes, but they didn't say we couldn't talk about it with each other in front of the schools chattiest gossips."

It took two hours for everyone to know, and half an hour after that for Harry Potter & Co. to track me down. Percy and I were in my classroom, which the Ministry officials had left a complete mess. They entered the room when I was kicking the leg of a table viciously cursing all the while.

"THOSE ABSOLUTE CUNT WAGONS! They could have had the decency to fuckin-Oh, hello children. Eh, heh...um…"

Percy sighed, motioning them in,

"Don't mind her, she gets that way sometimes, just point her at the chocolate and wait for her mood to even out."

I glowered at him for a second before perking up,

"I do have chocolate here somewhere, don't I?"  
I pulled open a drawer to my desk, pulling out chocolate frogs and tossing one to everyone in the room. The twins caught their own, Ron as well, Percy let his bounce off his chest and rest in his lap ignored, and Harry caught Hermione's for her, passing it over silently.

I hopped onto my desk to sit as I usually do,

"So, kiddos, what can I do for you?"

"Is he really innocent?"  
I had worried about this part for hours. Would Harry beleive it without seeing it for himself? Without hearing the confession?

I nodded, setting the chocolate aside for a second.

"Yeah. Frame job. Turns out Pettigrew did it, and framed Sirius, who escaped this year to end him."

"But why did he attack the tower, then?"

Percy answered this one, running his hands through his hair haphazardly.

"Because Pettigrew was an unregistered animagus posing as Scabbers."  
Silence. Then,

"My cat knew."

I laughed, I couldn't help it. I almost fell off the desk, and I could tell that everyone else was trying to hold it in as well. When I recovered I sighed,

"Yes, it would seem as if Crookshanks sensed he wasn't what he seems. Makes sense, thing looks half-kneazle to me, crazy intelligent those things."

Hermione was staring at me now,

"How do you know the name of my cat?"

I raised an eyebrow at her,

"You and Mr. Weasley the younger here have had many a throwdown whenever your pets' pull a Tom and Jerry."

The Weasleys looked confused and I shook my head sadly,

"Damn shame….I'll have to give my exams early so I have an excuse to make everyone watch Muggle television during my class. Give you guys a good chance to decompress and all that. And I can watch the Purebloods try to pretend they don't enjoy it."  
I noticed the sun setting out the window and sighed, shooing everyone out of the classroom.

"I have somewhere to be, kiddies, please don't stay out too late."

I marched out of the school, waving a hand to push a twig against the knot at the bottom of the Whomping Willow, and slipping down the tunnel. When I reached the bedroom at the top where Sirius usually spent his time he was sitting on the bed, still in the form of a dog. I pulled a palm sized basket out of my pocket, tapping it with my wand to return it to its usual size.

"Today you eat as a human. Mostly because I would feel really bad about giving a dog Butterbeer."

He stepped off the bed, morphing back to a human as he went, opening the basket eagerly,

"Ah, Swift, how you spoil me."

I rolled my eyes,

"I'm aware, I could very well have just fed you kibble."  
I watched him eagerly take the top off the bottle of Butterbeer, a thought niggling at the back of my mind.

"You don't know my name, do you?"

He paused between sips of the drink,

"Well, you didn't feel like introducing yourself to a dog, but I've seen students calling you 'Professor Swift'. I didn't really believe you were a teacher until then, honestly."

I sank back into one of the chairs, letting him eat while I caught him up on what was happening.

"In any case the Headmaster is on your side, and Severus Snape as well."

He paused, probably to insult Snape and I continued,

"He did a huge favor for me recently, so feel free to drop the childish squabble in my presence. The Ministry has Pettigrew, and we've effectively used the rumor mill to ensure that all of Hogwarts is on your side. If they write home to their parents about it then you could have quite a following indeed. We would have gone to the Prophet with it, but that's still in the cards at the moment, we want to be able to hold it over the Ministry's head."

I held silent for a second before continuing.

"If worst comes to worst, canine I have my own blackmail to use against them."

"My name is Sirius, feel free to use it."

"And mine is Marissa...feel free to call me Mara."

Sirius Black didn't even have to report to the Ministry. They did the trial in absentia. He was cleared of all charges. They were compensating for his stint in prison, some amount of money that wasn't released in the Prophet. I didn't pay much attention to that. I only danced out of the Great Hall, clutching the paper. A few minutes later I led a very excited Sirius Black to the Headmaster's office, where he visited his Godson for the first time in 12 years. Plans for the Summer were made, and Albus Dumbledore put forth no arguments involving blood wards and family. He simply beamed at the room at large, popping lemon drops every so often.

When it came time for everyone to leave Harry surprised me with a tackle sort of hug,

"Thank you Professor. You gave him a chance…"

I patted him awkwardly on the back,

"No problem, kid."

I retreated as quickly as possible, desperate to get away from all the happy feelings floating around, with only a quick reminder tossed at Sirius,

"Don't forget, you're meeting Remus at the Hogshead for dinner. If you see a witch dressed in bright green with a quill that moves on it's own, run. She is not a friendly."

He snorted,

"What? What does that mean?"

"It means that she's a reporter with a penchant for exaggeration if not outright lies. Devil incarnate, that one."

I shivered, getting a laugh out of him, before I disappeared down the stairs.

My classroom was cleaned from it's stint as interrogation room, and I was preparing it for classes to resume after break. My plans for the Ministry weren't nearly as far along as my plans for Black, and I needed somewhere different to plan. The Room of Requirement was out, because I had to bring Percy as well, and that would be more than a bit suspicious. Percy had meant to go home for Christmas, but decided he would be best served by staying at the castle to study for his NEWTs after the time he'd lost helping with my scheming.

Things had progressed from research. Now when we found a shit law we would 'fix it', and file it away for things to do for later. By now Percy was well aware of my plans for the Ministry, and was thoroughly disenchanted with them enough that he didn't really care. Occasionally he would protest, saying that it must have been a law for a reason, but I would always whip out a piece of chalk and we would debate. He would argue against it, and I would argue for it, placing pertinent points on opposite sides of the board. He won occasionally and would smirk for days.

He was invaluable, not just for his knowledge of law, but his upbringing in a Pureblood house. He was able to explain traditions, and give background knowledge that I would have floundered when faced with. Straightening out the shitstorm of tangled gobbledygook they called regulation was taking longer than I had originally assumed. Ancient pacts were still technically legal because they hadn't been repealed. That left a stupid number of loopholes available for exploitation. A few I kept in mind for future use for myself. Others I put on the fastrack for getting rid of immediately.

Christmas day I left my room only to wish the Doctors portrait Merry Christmas, and have a quick argument with him about 'Merry' and 'Happy'. Otherwise I stayed out of sight. I got candy from various students, and a rather large chocolate bar from Percy. The Doctor always got into trouble on Christmas. I spent most of mine daydreaming about what he could possibly be up to, over in our home dimension. I didn't go to dinner that night, skipping the feast. I wasn't in the mood to deal with people.

Classes began again, and I went back into it with a vigor that surprised most people. I had plans to make, and I was running out of time to do most of it. So, the kids got a strange look at me in actual _try_ mode. I had McGyvered together a projector, and special ordered a tape player so I could show documentaries and movies in class. If I stayed up too late the night before doing research for some project or another then that was my fallback plan. I had homework assignments prepared in advance for if I ever needed to show them. The Muggleborn students eventually realized that I was doing the same thing as their early teachers had, giving up for the day.

Even the Purebloods realized it one day. I walked into the classroom to find Neville stuck to the ceiling and two of the kids turned to birds. I had facepalmed, turned on the 1989 version of Batman, and retrieved Neville. I sent him and the two bird children down the Hospital Wing and calmly sat down at my seat, where I promptly planted my face onto the top of the desk. This class being just before the Third Years had a free period, most stayed behind to finish the movie. I counted this as a success.

The constant stream of documentaries had more than one purpose. I didn't have to speak much. After weighing the pros and cons I decided that I should at least try to become an animagus. This included keeping a Mandrake leaf in your mouth for an entire month. That meant I didn't want to talk much. I made sure to leave candy and gum wrappers in plain view, that way if I sounded funny it would be assumed that they were to blame. It was also a good excuse not to show up to dinner. Eating was an awkward affair when you had to keep a leaf attached to the roof of your mouth, our out of the way in some manner.

It was my new years resolution, and finishing it was one of the most exciting things I'd ever done. Of course the meditation was nothing new, I kept that up because of something I had read about Occlumency. Many of my plans were nearing completion, but the one that was most troubling me sat in the background, just out of reach.

Horcruxes. I had a vague idea of where all of them were, and the means to find them. I already had researched how to find two of them. Some were within reach, but I had no way to destroy them. Of course, the Basilisk carcass was within reach, but I couldn't actually get to it without Harry, and that would raise red flags. The sword was with Dumbles, who would either not beleive me or take over and let that ring kill him again. And fiendfyre wasn't something I was willing to dabble with. I figured gathering them all into one place at the moment wasn't advisable either, what with the terrible strain they put on those around them.

I kind of wanted to end Voldemort before Harry would be subjected to the tournament, or keep him out the tournament all together. Either way I wanted Cedric to live. He was a sweet kid, even if he looked like the actor who played a sparkly vampire. What I was truly worried about was Barty Crouch Junior. In the movies he bore an uncanny resemblance to one of the Doctor's previous incarnations. We had laughed about it often. Being faced with a living breathing person who looked like the Doctor…

Either way, the rest of this year was smooth sailing. I just had to wait for the summer to arrive, then the hunt would begin whether I wanted it to or not. I would have to chose an ally sometime soon, or be forced to practice dark magic or attempt to steal a relic from the Headmaster. I wasn't sure which was the most dangerous.

 **~TimeLordOfPie**


	15. Chapter 15

With no threat of mass murderers on their heads the kids really put a hell of a lot of effort into trying to save the hippogriff. Eventually Hermione put together that Percy and I had already done a good bit of research into magical law and mentioned it to everyone. Ron went crawling to Percy once he realized that it would cost a little bit of pride, but save him hours in the library. The brothers spent a lot more time together while they were trying to save Buckbeak, and their relationship benefited greatly from it. The Twins also stopped teasing Percy as much, partly because the snobbish behaviour of before was mostly gone, and partly because they were the slightest bit impressed with how he ended up contradicting the ministry and helping catch Pettigrew. I was having tea with Minerva whenever Hermione came in, quitting divination in a huff. She just had to drop my class and muggle studies and she'd be able to give up her time turner and hold a more normal schedule. But she made no move to do any of that. I made sure to note that she still had a time turner stashed away, that could be useful.

At the end of the year it was spread around that Remus would not be back to teach. Apparently word had got out that he was a Werewolf. I burst into his office once I found out, only to be faced with Harry and Sirius. I paused, mouth still open to speak before snapping it closed.

"Um, should I come back later?"  
Remus waved at me from where he was packing,

"It's fine Marissa, I can guess why you're here."

"I bet you can't."

"Many have already been through here."  
"I'm willing to bet mass quantities they haven't offered you a position in their coup d'etat."

Sirius collapsed onto the couch in the room laughing, most likely at Remus' stunned expression. Harry was looking at the three of us in confusion and I just raised an eyebrow at the Werewolf.

"Well, come on. I have people in mind for the heads of Departments, but most of that is a long term plan. I already have a Minister-in-training, and honestly, you're perfect for plenty of positions if you'd like them."

He blinked,

"You can't be serious."

I didn't dare miss the opportunity. I put a confused expression in place, pointing to the man struggling to breathe on the couch.

"No, he's Sirius. Are you feeling alright?"  
That set Sirius off again, and Harry started looking bemused. Sirius chimed in breathily,

"She means it. She's chosen Percy Weasley for her figurehead."

I scowled,

"He's not a figurehead. He'd be in charge. I'm just putting forth the effort of getting him there."

Remus gave me a half-smile,

"So, not to protest about the...lying to you thing?"  
I gave him a strange look.

"You've never lied to me."  
He shuffled uncomfortably, but I continued,

"Technically I never asked if you were a werewolf, therefor you never lied to me about it. Besides, I knew the whole time."

That stopped him short,

"You what?"

"I knew."  
"Did Albus tell you?"  
"Nope. But Hermione Granger figured it out. As did Penelope Clearwater. And Draco Malfoy if you'd believe it. Didn't say a word to his father. I'm proud of him, I think I'm slowly beating into his skull that he isn't his father, therefore he doesn't need to cling to his father's ideas so hard."  
He spluttered for a second and I knew he couldn't decide which bit of that babble to address first. So I turned to Harry instead,

"So, congrats on the cup."

He grinned, his entire being lighting up with the force of it.

"Its really thanks to you. If we had lost to Hufflepuff because of those dementors we never would have made it up, Oliver did the math. He wanted to find you and hug you, but the twins told him it wasn't advisable. They wouldn't tell us why."

I snorted,

"Because for some mysterious reason when they attempted it their hair turned a noxious shade of green."

His eyes lit up,

"We thought Lee had finally managed to pull one over on them!"

I shrugged,

"Maybe, there's rules or something about teachers pranking students, so I wouldn't know…"

Sirius rolled back to his feet, clapping his hands together.

"Well, the four of us are going to miss the train if we don't get going!"  
Remus shook his head,

"I'm apparating from Hogsmeade, I have a lead to follow about a tutoring position."

I fidgeted a bit,

"I live at Hogwarts."  
Harry's curiosity visibly got the best of him.

"We all figured you were going back to America for the summer."

I hesitated before I closed the door all the way, leaning back against it. If I wanted this group to trust me then I needed to be 'honest' and forthcoming with information.

"No. The Ministry won't let me leave the country or contact anyone in America."

Now he looked offended,

"Why!?"  
I shrugged,

"They fu-um, screwed up and messed with my head. No memory of magic whatsoever. Fudge suggested they wipe me the rest of the way and abandon me for muggles to find. I'm still keeping that be used as blackmail with the press at some point. I thought I was going to have to use it to keep canine here from ending up back in prison, but instead I get to save it for later."

All three were staring at me now and I wrinkled my nose, glancing at Remus,

"I thought you would have known, didn't the Headmaster tell you something?"  
"No, he didn't."

Harry looked thoughtful,

"What if you used someone else's owl to contact your friends or family, surely they could rescue you?"

"Nah, I don't have any left anyway. Besides, I'm not in need of _rescue_. I could leave if I tried hard enough, but remember? I have plans for this place. Your laws are so twisted and convoluted that they have more holes than swiss cheese."

Harry snorted,

"So your first instinct is to re-do it all?"  
I shrugged,

"I have vague memories of doing it before."

"...That's worrying, Professor."

I shrugged,

"Most of my memories are."

"So are you just going to sit here all summer and grade schoolwork?"  
He sounded so offended I snorted,

"Noooo, I'm going to plot a little bit too."

"The twins would be disappointed to hear that, they think you're going to do something amazing and dangerous. You seemed exciting to them, I think."  
I rolled my eyes,

"I don't travel anymore without my traveling companion."  
"The Doctor mentioned that you two traveled, along with someone else that he referred to as 'sexy'."

I sighed,

"Yeah. I miss her."

Sirius and Remus were looking confused, the latter slightly alarmed, so I decided it was my cue to leave. I clapped my hands together,

"Well then, I've offered the place in my plot, so I believe I'm finished here. Harry, don't hesitate to owl me if you have any questions with the homework, or anything like that."

I waved, sliding out the door before anyone could say anything. Marching back to my quarters where I could sink into a chair with a tired sigh.

So much to do, so little time.

 **There have been concerns about Harry not living with the Dursleys, breaking the protection, and facing Voldemort too soon, hold your horses please ^.^ I do know where I'm going with all of this. Maybe some of the bad shit is supposed to happen to Harry to teach Mara a lesson about fudging with things. Or maybe she has a plan ;)**

 **~TimeLordOfPie**


	16. Chapter 16

Summer break had barely started and I was already getting mail from students. Most of it wasn't even questions about the homework. Luna sent me a copy of the Quibbler, and the next day I sent her back the form and money for a subscription. Most of the theories were shit, but they were amusing. There was a grain of truth in almost everything, and it took a while to parse through it. Honestly, this magazine would be the perfect way to keep in contact with a rebel army that was scattered like the Order of the Phoenix had been.

Lee's radio show was one thing, but miss one episode and you're screwed, never get the next password. If you had a formula that could be applied to articles that everyone expected to be nonsense anyway...But that shouldn't be necessary. I was already knee deep in plans to get rid of Voldemort before he could properly rise again. Changing things with Black had risk to it, because I couldn't be sure how things with Moody, Crouch, and Wormtail would play out. I could always ask to borrow the map at some point, and check Moody. That would be one sure sign that Voldie was doing okay without Wormy.

Plans for the Dark Snake aside, my plans for the Ministry were moving along nicely. Percy was now heavily suspicious of everything they endorsed, and mailed me every scrap of info he heard, even if it was only gossip. Some of the gossip painted pictures of personal lives that made it easier to guess motive, and future reactions. I had an inventory, more of a magical rolodex, with all important players, even if they were only important because of who their wife's cousins husbands half-sisters dog groomer happened to be married to. Their political leanings, affairs, opinions, hell, I had how they preferred their tea. Percy was a very effective spy. People didn't tend to see him, and when they did they knew he was excited to help in any way. His persona was built from birth, even if his opinions were now completely different. No one knew his role in the Ministry Scandal involving Sirius Black, they had no reason to think he was anything other than he appeared, an ambitious, if stupidly eager, Gryffindor. He would have made a brilliant Slytherin.

The Doctor, who was now a much more normal sized painting in my living room, agreed with me. He was great to bounce ideas off of, but little help otherwise. He didn't like violence, didn't like that I wasn't taking it off the table. He also wasn't fond of how much coffee I drank, or little I slept. Very mother henish. I had debated putting him in the hall, or even my classroom, because I knew he would miss the students. He could also be a brilliant teaching aide, having seen most of human history in person. I had seen a lot of it, but I'm not one of the gracefully aging Time Lords. I had considered getting another painting, of another incarnation, to keep him company. But people would ask why they were both 'just the Doctor', and I had a feeling he was one of those people who wouldn't get along with himself. He'd told me of the arguments he'd had with three of him when that thing with Gallifrey happened, I didn't particularly feel like playing referee.

Four weeks into the summer I got a letter from Molly Weasley. Aparently Percy had been either at work or locked in his room all summer. She knew a stupid amount of owls were going to me, and she wanted to know why. She also took a u-turn right in the middle from demanding to sweet motherly woman who wanted her boys 'favorite Professor' over for lunch. She had already set a date, and a time, telling me the Floo Address was the 'Burrow'. Oh dear.

I had looked up from the letter, sitting at the staff table for breakfast. I just stared at the plate of muffins blankly, trying to think of a way to get out of it. Minerva had gently taken the letter from my slack hands, snorting when she was finished.

"That's Molly for you. She'll lay eyes on you and insist you're a stick. You won't leave without three helpings, I guarantee."

I looked up at the Head of Gryffindor, expression pleading, now.

"But maybe I can have some sort of emergency? Boggart in the castle? The Squid had a stomachache?"

She actually rolled her eyes at me so I turned to Snape, who looked a bit surprised at being included.

"Please tell me there are time sensitive potions ingredients that need to be hunted down? I'll camp in the forest if I have to."

He rolled his eyes at me too.

"Don't be so dramatic, Swift. There is nothing to fear from the Weasleys."

I sighed, slopping bonelessly down further into my chair.

"I'm not afraid of them, per say, but I don't really know how to interact with people anymore. How do you interact with parents in this situation anyway? Do I talk about classes? I'd come off as one boring individual."  
Minerva huffed, grabbing yet another muffin,

"It's Summer holiday. Seeing as you aren't a head of house you are 'off the clock' as it were. You are once again back on the level of a normal human being. As for conversation, you can be yourself."

I poured more coffee, snorting indelicately.

"I don't know who I am, so that doesn't give me much to work with."

Awkward silence. Whoops. I sighed,

"I've been told Arthur Weasley has a fascination with Muggle things, I'm sure that can fill the silence."  
So three days later I was in front of my fireplace in my office, wearing a plain long sleeved shirt, TARDIS blue. I was in my original skinny jeans and red converse, hair in a ponytail. My wand was in the pocket of my over robe, a plain black thing that was just worn enough to be comfortable and soft instead of scratchy. I gathered my wits, and courage, stepping into the fireplace,

"The Burrow!"

I tumbled out of the fireplace, coughing and blinking soot out of my eyes. When I could finally see again I was met with with the sight of two identical grinning red heads. I blinked slowly,

"Am I seeing double?"

They snickered, grabbing an arm each and hauling me to my feet just as their mother entered the room,

"What was-oh, Miss Swift! Just in time!"

I smiled at her weakly,

"Marissa, please. Miss Swift is a bit too formal for me."

She smiled kindly down at me,

"Then call me Molly, dear."

She turned to the stairs,

"Everybody get down here! It's time for lunch!"  
She turned back to me,

"The kitchen is through here."

I glanced around, noting the organized chaos, eyes coming to rest on Mr. Weasley who was reading the Daily Prophet. They must be having a late start today. When I entered he looked up, immediately folding the paper and putting it aside, standing and holding out his hand, shaking mine vigorously.

"Wonderful to meet you, I've heard so much about you from the kids! Here, have a seat."

By the time the twins had taken a seat I had been assured to call him Arthur, given three rolls, and asked at least seven questions about muggles in America.

Molly bustled in, rolling her eyes,

"Give the girl a chance to catch her breath dear, she only just got out of the floo."

In the ensuing silence we were able to clearly hear the sounds of Ginny and Ron descending the stairs, not bickering as I had expected. Ginny was sighing, more relief than sadness,

"I am so glad to be home again."

Ron made a noise of agreement,

"Yeah, no homework or anything."

He followed it up with a yawn, and Ginny made a condescending noise.

"You _do_ have homework, Ronald, it's just not due for a few months."

He huffed,

"Exactly, I have _months._ "

I let a wicked grin spread across my face, making brief eye contact with the twins before forcing my expression to straighten out into serious concern. I turned to face the entrance they'd come through, crossing my arms. When Ron entered he froze and I asked seriously,

"Have you finished your homework?"  
He let out a noise reminiscent of a strangled groundhog before staggering back a few steps, running into an annoyed looking Percy. The twins were howling with laughter, and their parents were trying to hide small smiles while Ginny outright cackled. Percy huffed, pushing Ron forwards into the kitchen.

"What is the meaning of-Professor?"

I gave a half-hearted salute,

"That's me, though I'm told I'm allowed to be a human being during the summer, instead of a teacher."

Ron was blushing furiously as he sat, elbowing the closest twin. Food was being set out on the table but when Ron reached for it Molly slapped his wrist gently,

"You can wait for our other guests to arrive."

I raised an eyebrow at this, close to asking when the Floo flared once again and someone thumped out of it ungracefully. A laughing someone else followed, and both entered the kitchen almost immediately.

Sirius Black looked infinitely better after medical care and a few months of nutritious and regular meals. Harry was also looking better, still skinny, but more lean muscle than bird bones. Sirius waved to the room at large,

"Hope we're not too late, Harry here apparently does not agree with Floo travel."

Harry scowled half heartedly,

"Floo travel does not agree with me."

Molly waved them off,

"You're just in time boys, take a seat."

I was squished in between Sirius and one of the twins, a dangerous position. From my expression Ginny realized I was aware of it. She snorted, smoothing out her expression quickly afterwards, and trying to cover it with a cough.

I eyed the both of them suspiciously as food was passed out, trying to keep an eye on my drink at the same time. No moves were made against me and the entire group was rowdy, and loud, laughs and food everywhere. It was quite the sight, and I didn't know where I really fit into it. Percy spoke to me as often as he could, in between topics with his father. Sirius would eye me knowingly when he did, and I would kick him in the shin under the table each time.

I wasn't expecting to have fun, or for there to be a lack of awkward silence. The kids drifted off to play Quidditch after lunch, and I caught Percy before he attempted to disappear.

"Percy, if you keep this up you'll burn yourself out. Trust me, you need a bit of family time, or fun time, just to cool down. I put work before family, and mine died out, I didn't even know it for years after the fact. Just...don't make the same mistakes I did, kid."  
He took the words to heart, playing keeper for one of the teams. I watched them play with the other adults. We got along surprisingly well, despite the age gaps between all of us, right up until I heard one of the twins remember I couldn't fly. I paled,

"Um, yeah, that's my cue to leave. I have...papers to grade-and, uh, things, yes, things."

I turned to Molly,

"It was brilliant, thank you for inviting me."  
She smiled brightly,

"Thank you for coming, feel free to pop by any time. We do these little get togethers with Harry and Sirius every Sunday, I hope we'll see you here next time."

I eyed where the twins were rapidly descending, followed by other eager teenagers,

"Sure thing, Molly. Until then-"

I darted back inside, blatantly fleeing from children. Sirius' laughter echoed in my head even after I stumbled out of the fireplace in my office. I was grinning like an idiot for the rest of the day. I sort of had friends.

 **A/N:**

 **This unusually fast update is me being a bit passive aggressive. My other fic was reported because someone didn't read the warning at the top of the chapter and got offended because there was a little bit of gay in the background. However, I've been told that to stop writing completely would be a shame, so I'll at least keep up with this one while I wait to see if my flamer succeeds in getting my story 'ripped down'.**

 **~TimeLordOfPie**


	17. Chapter 17

I was running out of time. I wanted Voldemort dead as soon as possible. Realistically, it was probably impossible to kill him before the Triwizard champions were picked, especially if I refused to tell Dumbledore. I knew where all the Horcruxes were, of course, it was getting to most of them that would be the problem.

The Diary, already destroyed.

There was the Diadem, the easiest, languishing away in the room of Requirement.

Then the ring, hidden away in the house of Gaunt, which I knew the vague location of from my research.

The snake, near impossible to get to, created whenever Bertha Jorkins comes up dead or missing.

The locket, hidden away with Kreacher in Grimmauld Place.

The cup, in fucking Gringotts of all places.

Then Harry himself. The trickiest of all.

I had been researching that regularly, whenever I found clues to it during other research whatever I was doing was immediately dropped. I wasn't too hopeful for a miracle cure though. If Dumbledore of all people couldn't find it then there was hardly any chance I would either. But I spent too much time around the Doctor for giving up to be acceptable. And time was perhaps the issue here. Dumbledore probably didn't have much in the books between when he figured it out, and when he died. As it was I didn't have to waste my time searching for the others.

I really didn't want Harry to have to die, even if there was a chance that he could come back from it. But that can't be the only option. Transfer of a soul piece from one host to another should not be _completely_ impossible, but not harming the original host would be tricky. I spent a lot of my time doing research, but I made sure to appear at meals at least once a day to keep the staff from staging an intervention.

It was during one of those mandatory breakfast appearances that I got a Ministry owl. It sat in my bacon, and not for the first time I questioned if it was sanitary for mail to arrive at mealtimes. Silence reigned. I opened the letter and the owl left, stealing some of my bacon as it went. I scowled after it, before waving my wand over the letter. When nothing happened I opened it, pulling out the letter and dropping the envelope.

 _Dear Miss Swift,_

 _It has come to my attention that you enjoy the game of Quidditch. Please enjoy this ticket as a gesture of goodwill._

 _Cornelius Fudge_

 _Minister of Magic_

I dropped the short letter, note really, picking up the envelope and digging the small ticket out. I stared at it for a second. Excitement warring with dread and confusion. One, how the hell did he know? Who snitched on me (Pardon the pun)? Two, fuck yes, the pinnacle of all Quidditch talent. Three, fuck no, death eaters everywhere. But I'm not supposed to know that. It would be strange and weirdly out of character for me to miss for no reason, never mind stupidly suspicious. So, Quidditch death match here I come.

I narrowed my eyes at the ticket and saw Minerva crinkle her nose worriedly from beside me.

"What's the matter, Marissa? Shouldn't you be excited? This is an amazing opportunity after all."

I shrugged with one shoulder, placing the ticket aside and turning my attention back to my food.

"I don't know his angle. Guys like this don't do things for 'goodwill' or just for the hell of it. He wants something."

I tapped the table absentmindedly for a second, staring at the food. It really wasn't worth it anymore, it had bird ass-germs on it, or something. I stood abruptly, grabbing my things.

"Well, I have a little bit of time to think it over at least."

Back in my classroom, which I used as more of a living room than my actual rooms, opened the other mail I had gotten that morning. Usually I didn't open that kind of thing at the table, but Ministry shit tends to be time sensitive, and with Mollys I had recognized Erroll, who usually waited for a reply. When the owl left, I had worried for Percy's well being. He didn't use Erroll often, preferring his own Eagle owl. All in all, I had been tricked. Most likely on accident, which made it worse.

Harry, who had hesitantly started mailing me when he saw me more at the Burrow, outside of the School environment, had sent a rather rough looking letter. He was beyond excited, apparently the Ministry had provided Sirius two tickets as part of their reparations for unlawful imprisonment. He rambled on a bit about Quidditch and the stats and predictions for the game, finally ending it with a halfhearted question about something Muggle he couldn't quite explain properly to Sirius.

I wrote back immediately, detailing how I also had gotten a ticket, only one though, most likely also as reparation for what the Ministry had done to me. I felt kind of bad for blaming the ministry, especially since this time they actually hadn't done anything wrong. Well, much. Not to me anyway, not yet. But their threat of a mind wipe and abandonment with Muggles would have fucked me up badly, worse than if I had been a Muggle born, because I didn't exist here. I checked. My mother died at four years old.

I had a letter from Percy, more info from inside the Ministry, he apparently got wind that I was going to be given a ticket, but he got the info from his father. Therefore Molly knew. So I was to report to the Burrow for Breakfast that morning before traveling with them. I sometimes wondered how much she knew about me. It seemed like she knew I couldn't Apparate, and various other things about me. I hadn't old her, but Dumbledore might have for his own 'nefarious' reasons. Or Harry, or Sirius. Hell, Remus. Entirely too many people were aware of my 'condition' and that wasn't good for business.

My letter from Ginny said much the same as the last part of Percy's, haha, see you for breakfast, sorry my mother's strong-arming you into it.

The last letter was from Remus, just a casual correspondence. I read it through, regretting for half a second that I hadn't gotten an extra ticket like Sirius, but then I realized it would have been a dick move to drag him into it. And who knew when the hell on the lunar calendar the match fell.

I dropped a few of my more unnecessary projects, starting plans for the Cup. There was little I could really do except study defensive spells and dueling magic. I practiced non-stop in the room of requirement, blasting dummies apart. They were the death eater look alikes destined for use by Dumbledore's Army. They shot low level spells back, but it was nothing like having an actual sparring partner. But it's not like I could ask someone. Or maybe I could…I had visited the kitchens finally, getting Minerva to show me one day in between meals, in the food deadzone when nothing edible could be found elsewhere.

"Zoopy."

There was a deafening crack and a less wrinkled than normal house elf popped out of nowhere. I watched him do a little bow, eyes lighting up at the chance to help. I knelt down in front of him, putting gentle hands on his shoulders.

"Zoopy, I'm going to need some help from you, some very, very serious help. And you aren't going to like it."

I was right. He didn't like it. But I had chosen him for a reason. He was relatively young for a house elf, but knew how to keep a secret. Therefor he was easier to convince, and guaranteed to keep his silence. Had he been a wizard he would be Hufflepuff through and through, loyal little thing.

I had him stick to spells that wizards could use, or at least similar to what a wizard would use. He provided a vigorous workout. One I managed to convince him that I would need to be in combat sometime in the near future he had pulled out all the stops. Rather than firing at me from a stationary position he whirled around the room, popping up in random places, giving me barely a split second to figure out where he was and what he was tossing my way.

I only went to breakfast with the staff, rather than breakfast _or_ dinner, never letting them see me scuffed up or the least bit frazzled. If I was tired in the mornings and someone commented I could say 'nightmares' and it was left alone. Zoopy was brilliant, but it wore on him after a while. After three straight weeks he was looking more frazzled than I was, even though I never threw spells at him, only at the targets he conjured for me to destroy. He just couldn't handle throwing spells at a Staff member, especially one who was always curteous.

It was two days until the Championships, so I stopped our practices, to his eternal relief. But he didn't leave me to it on my own. No, he straightened his lilac pillowcase, looking determined.

"Zoopy shall help Miss Mara."

I am not one to complain that fresh coffee is always within reach, or that laundry is done, or that there's someone to remind me that I have appearances to make in public. He also caught me many times before I walked out without long sleeves. I always gave him a small hug with that, and left him holding back joyful tears.

I was fitter than ever when I woke early the morning of the match, and it showed by how I was actually able to pull myself out of bed before Zoopy made good on his passive not-threat involving a bucket of water. I was still stumbling slightly when I went into the Floo, so naturally I was face first on the floor coming _out_ of it. I just lay there for a second, contemplating life. And the color of the carpet. Ginny found me, sighing and calling back behind her,

"Found her, I think she fell asleep coming out of the Floo."

This was met with dead silence, and then I heard several footsteps coming our way, and someone nudged me, most likely with their foot. I groaned, lifting my hand weakly to flop my hand at them.

"No, no, I'm fine. Just...admiring the carpet, lovely color. I'll be up...momentarily."

Two individuals grabbed me by the arms, lifting me up. I sighed, opening my eyes to glare lightly at the twins. They were smirking slightly, and my expression automatically dropped to suspicious, eyes narrowing.

"What are you up to?"

They winked simultaneously, out of view of their mother, who was tutting at me.

"Oh, dear, Marissa, when did you even go to sleep?"  
I blinked up at her,

"Ummmmmm…"

She didn't wait for me to come up with an answer, instead motioning towards the kitchen,

"Never mind, there's breakfast ready, if Ron hasn't gotten downstairs yet. There's tea and coffee-"

At the last word I might have broken the sound barrier, leaving a pair of blinking, confused twins staring at their now empty hands. When they entered I had already downed half a cup and was buttering a scone. I looked up at them, waving cheerily,

"Morning. Sorry, I'm not human until I've had my caffeine."

Sirius wandered into the room, looking rumpled and grumpy.

"Amen."

I grinned at him,

"Hey, Canine, not a morning person I see."  
He was holding onto his coffee as if his life depended on it, and I could sympathise, I really could. He snorted, glaring at me half-heartedly,

"Why do you still call me Canine? I've told you a thousand times to call me Sirius."

I sat back in my chair, stirring sugar into my second cup of coffee, and smirking.  
"I'm still not over the whole 'the stray dog is a human thing' so no, I can't stop."

He rolled his eyes,

"I confessed in the end, didn't I?"

The children exploded down the stairs, effectively ending our conversation. I watched them scurry around, enjoying the deer in headlights look I got from Hermione. I waved at her,

"Hello Miss Granger."

The fact that Hermione was the only one thrown off by the presence of a teacher cracked Ron up, leaving him open to a bacon swipe from the Twins. I guarded my scones viscously, whapping wrists indiscriminately. I think I got Arthur once. I know I got Sirius a grand total of seven times. Ominous number.

Then Arthur got a glimpse of the time, and rounded us up,

"Come on, gang, we have a ways to walk!"

I followed, watching everyone bounce with excitement, smiling on the outside. Inside I was freezing. There would be danger, death, torture. But I would be there, I would protect them the best I could. It was all I could offer at the moment. I watched Sirius where he walked a bit ahead of me, directly beside Harry. Things would be different with him here. He would protect Harry with every fiber of his being, risk his very soul for the boy. The fact that he rose early to portkey with him rather than apparate showed a bit of his commitment. I've heard portkeys suck ass. Then again, all magical transportation seems to be absolutely terrible, even if it's near instantaneous. I think I'd always, _always_ , prefer travel by TARDIS.

 **~TimeLordOfPie**


	18. Chapter 18

Cedric Diggory was one of my students, so he knew who I was fairly well. This is probably why he simply stared, dumbfounded, when I was pointed out amongst the Weasley clan. While his father fawned over Harry for a little while the kid stared at me. I raised an eyebrow, crossing my arms.

"Hello Mister Diggory. Having a nice summer?"  
He nodded, still looking unsure of how to react. I was wearing normal muggle clothes, like everyone else, skinny jeans, my converse, and a long sleeved AC/DC shirt, a black jacket thrown over the top to help with the cold. I looked like a college student. Which is probably why Amos Diggory elbowed him when he caught him staring.

"And who's this young lady?"

The twins didn't bother holding back their laughter, Sirius either. Arthur at least tried to hide it, Ginny, Hermione, and Harry as well. Ron was just looking confused.

I stuck a hand out, smiling blandly,

"Marissa Swift, the Hogwarts Muggle History professor."

He had the sense to look apologetic, but not to shut up.

"So you're American then, how's it going in the states? I heard there was an issue with goblin rights, some sort of rebellion brewing in the lower half, near the border."

I raised an eyebrow, making a mental note to check up on that shit.

"I wouldn't know, I'm out of contact at the moment.

I was saved by the portkey, but after I landed on my ass right next to Harry I wished I had just endured the questions, or better yet, conned one of the older Weasleys into side along apparating me there. I hadn't met them before in my life, but I could probably make it happen. I stared up at the sky for a second before tapping Hermione, who was slumped over on top of me.

"You alright there, Hermione?"  
She jumped up as if stung,

"Oh, I'm so sorry professor-!"

I waved her off, standing and brushing off my jeans.

"It's fine. I wasn't exactly the picture of grace either."

She still looked unsure, looking me over for injuries and trying not to be obvious about it. I glanced around us, taking in the sight of the camp grounds.

Hermione and I chatted about the coming year, with me being thrilled she had decided to keep my class. It wasn't required after third year, but the first year it was offered had been an exception. By upper level classes would probably be tiny from now on, but they'd only have those who wanted to be there. Translation- we were going to do cool shit and the losers who quit would just miss out.

Arthur turned to me for help with the Muggle money and I blanched, grabbing Harry lightly by the jacket and thrusting him forwards as tribute.

"Um, no, American. I have no idea what to do with that stuff."  
I watched silently as they obliviated the muggle, scowling at the wizards who did it. The twin to my left nudged me,

"Professor?"

I shook my head, continuing to scowl at the wizard until he left.

"Sorry, bad experience with memory modification. Not. A. Fan."

I sometimes still shed a tear thinking of Donna...

Ron snorted,

"I second that."

I glanced at him curiously and that was all he needed in order to launch into the tale of the wonky teacher. I was cackling by the end of it,

"I _told_ Pomona we should have standardized testing to earn teaching degrees in the wizarding world. Muggle worlds got one up on us in that department. Background checks, drug tests, competency tests, psych evaluations, though that last one would probably be the end of me."  
I was jokingly mournful at the end, and the twins nodded solemnly,

"Indeed, it would be-"

"-a right shame to lose you-"

"-because of something as-"

"-fickle as sanity-"

"-or lack thereof."

I rolled my eyes at them and glanced over at how the tent was progressing, I lunged to Harry's side, catching one of the poles before they could beam him in the head.

"Okay, how about I try helping here. I've done a good bit of camping, I think."  
Harry understood perfectly but Ron looked skeptical,

"You _think_?"

I shrugged,

"Well, I don't know if it could count strictly as _camping_ we seemed to be on the run from various small governments every time we ended up in the wilderness, and the plants were always trying to kill us, and the Doctor wanted to keep anything that was fluffy, never mind that it could breath fire, or had seventeen heads, or spoke through a mouth on its re-"

I cut off, clearing my throat,

"Ah, never mind, Harry could you hand me that bit of rope?"  
Sirius was cracking up, and Ginny was struggling to hide a smile so I figured I got away with nearly being crass in front of the kids. Wow, am I bad at this teacher thing.  
The tents still looked a bit run down when we finished with them but they were bigger on the inside. Just like home. I grinned around me,

"Gotta love the dimensionally transcendental!"

Of course now Hermione knew that I was aware of _how_ the tent got to be that way, so she was close to demanding an explanation when Arthur sent her and Harry off for water. I raised my hand like in school, grinning like a loon when he called on me, looking amused.

"Yes, Marissa?"

"Can I go with them to get water? You know, adult supervision or whatever?"

Sirius snorted from where he was looking through the kitchen,

"Adult?"

I scowled at him but Arthur nodded and waved me on before I could comment. I rushed out of the tent with them, cheerily using my well traveled experience to point out which country certain accents where from, and which flag outside which tent was from were. I called out a cheery greeting to the American teens from the Salem Academy that we passed, and they waved vigorously at the sound of a familiar accent, they started calling out,

"Texas!"

"Florida!"

"New York!"

So I responded with a cheerful, "Montana!"

Harry elbowed me as we walked away,

"You could go talk to them you know, the ministry couldn't stop you from finding out about what's going on there, or sending a message over with them."

I shrugged, taking in all the green that we had wandered into,

"Nah, I'm not going to drag underage teenagers into my mess."

They chatted with Finnegan, whose mother took some time to speak with me, while he looked at us nervously from the corner of his eye.

"Now, my Seamus tells me you're American."

I raised an eyebrow at her, nodding.

"Yes, last time I checked."

She examined me, eyes sharp,

"Hm, I've heard strange things about you Americans lately. Makes me wonder why Dumbledore would have one of your kind working in a school."

I blinked at her as the four teenagers looked at her in various states of shock, horror, embarrassment, and anger.

"I haven't been back to America in years. I started traveling, ended up here, I have no idea what they're up to back there, but I'm not in the know."

My bland tone, and lack of anger had her suspicious look faltering.

"Yes, well, see that you do stay separate from it all."

There was a moment of awkward silence between the three of us as the Finnegans left, but I broke it by nudging Ron,

"Hey look, it's that seeker guy."

His head whipped around and he stared, elbowing me right back out of habit, probably came from having so many older siblings.

"That 'seeker 'guy'! He's not just any seeker, he's bloody brilliant!"

Once we got to the water we got to observe the drama caused by Archie and his dress. Hermione and I had to excuse ourselves to die of laughter before we returned, keeping semi-straight faces. I watched the man saunter off wearing his dress and snorted a bit, turning it into a spectacular cough that turned right back into laughter once he was out of sight. Hermione glared at me weakly, trying to keep from breaking down again also.

The kids struggled with their water a bit until I tapped each container with a finger, winking at them.

"Feather light charms. We're supposed to go easy on the magic, but as long as it's wandless and discreet they can't complain."

We were held up by several students, most of whom seemed terribly surprised to see a teacher out in the real world, dressed like an actual person. Thinking back on the books, the teachers never did interact with anyone outside of Hogwarts or the Order. That may just have been Harry because of his isolation, but even now they weren't seen. Dumbledore had them at school year round, and I had to wonder if they prefered it that way, or he was keeping them there. I had nowhere else to go so it didn't matter either way to me, but the thought of his manipulations going to the teachers personal lives was a bit disheartening. I still didn't know what to think of the guy.

I sat with the two as Arthur explained the people from the Ministry, finally matching faces to the names and information I had. I was lounging in the grass in front of the fire when the Weasley boys appeared. I waved at Percy, who collapsed in the grass beside me. I knew in the book he had been pompous as hell at this point in time, but right now he just looked a bit tired, and excited to see the game. He engaged the twins in talk about the upcoming match and I felt a little twinge of pride in being able to keep him closer to his family this time around. His sort of betrayal in the books had devastated everyone, Molly especially. The other two, Charlie and Bill however, were looking at me still, confused. The one with the longer hair, Bill I'm assuming, spoke up.

"Ron, is this another one of your little friends?"

The twins cackled, with even Percy snorting, but Ron went a bit red.

I waved at them, giving up completely on ever being seen as an adult.

"I'm his professor actually. Marissa Swift, pleasure to meet you."  
They looked dumbfounded and I resisted the urge to scowl. They were both sevens at the very least, but if they wiped those stupid looks off their faces they could easily escalate to the 8 or 9 area. I felt guilty for eyeing my students brothers, so I quickly turned my mind to something else, and caught the approach of Ludo Bagman.

I raised an eyebrow,

"Arthur, I believe we have company."

The guy swept in, in a flurry of conversation and bright colors. I waited quietly until the twins stepped forward and placed their bets, catching one to the side while Bagman engaged the other and Percy about the fake wand.

"I don't trust him. I would get something solid in writing."

He observed me for a second and I feared he would just shrug me off, but he nodded,

"If you think it's wise, professor. It can't hurt either way."

Good, one less thing to trouble the kids.

"You can get Percy to help draw something up quickly and witness it, I'm sure he'd be willing."

Percy was well aware this time around that Ludo Bagman wasn't the most trustworthy of people, and had about as much honor as a pigeon.

The twin looked skeptical, and I rolled my eyes, grabbing Percy's sleeve and yanking him over to us.

"Percy, help your brother."

The poor kid just nodded, not bothering to ask what it was. Fred, I'm pretty sure that's who it was, looked stunned, but didn't look the gift horse in the mouth. I left them to plot and spring the paperwork on Bagman before the start of the game, retreating to the fire, pulling an entire bag of jumbo marshmallows out of the pocket of my jacket, winking at Harry.

"Let's do this camping thing right, shall we?"  
I engaged the younger kids while Arthur spoke with Bagman, unable to keep from tensing at the word of Bertha Jorkins having gone missing. I furrowed my brow, staring into the fire. So, there goes Nagini horcrux. That makes my life a bit more difficult. I felt someone poke me on the arm and met the concerned eyes of Hermione,

"Are you alright Professor?"  
I smiled weakly,

"Fine, fine, just, something in the back of my mind that I just can't quite recall."

Sirius sat down next to me with a heavy thud, grabbing a marshmallow and spearing it before sticking it over the flames.

"Did you know Bertha?"

Damn observang dog.

"I...don't think so."

Ron and Hermione looked skeptical but Harry waved them off and I knew he would be explaining things to them later. Oh well. Not like it was a secret. Or a well kept one in any case.

Sirius just nodded, examining his marshmallow.

"Hmm, you don't happen to have the chocolate and things in your pocket, do you?"

I whipped out the other smores ingredients with a grin,

"What do I look like to you, of course I have the stuff!"

The wizarding kids were walked through making s'mores while Harry was treated to a tale of his mother as a teen teaching the marauders and their then girlfriends the wonders of muggle camping. She had been on the trip as a friend of Remus' girl, rather than with James. There was a rather funny bit where she threw her smore at him, that had the twins eyeing their food with a gleam in their eyes.

I caught Percy being called Weatherby and narrowed my eyes at Crouch, examining him. He caught my eye, and deviated from the script I remembered, throwing me for a loop.

"Ah, Miss Swift, was it? I'd heard that you found a position at Hogwarts, wonderful for you after the...ah, incident with the Aurors."

I took a slow, deep breath in to keep from punching him in the face. His manner was grating on my nerves and the thought that he had managed to keep office after denying Sirius his original trial only added fuel to the fire. And there was the thing with his son. Using dark magic to keep him in line, not cool.

"Yes. Indeed."

"Fudge mentioned to me that you were working on something to do with time energy before your mishap, we were wondering if you would be willing to come into the office and tell us a bit about it."

That was not actually phrased like a request.

I raised an eyebrow at him,

"I do not think that wise."

His expression furrowed for a second,

"And why not, Miss Swift?"  
There was a tinge of anger, which was better than the distracted aloofness of before.

I shifted where I was sitting in the grass, the picture of lazy and uncaring,

"Because it was not work contracted by your government. I was private sector, I do believe, which means I have no need to answer your questions."

He drew himself up to his full height,

"You are a guest of our government-"

Okay, temper snapping. I'd been in this kind of situation before, but long separation from the Doctor in physical form meant that I wasn't going to respond as I would if he were here, I was going to take a leaf out of his book and be the immovable rock in the equation.

"I am no guest, as you well know. My mail is intercepted, by passport denied exit. When I'm allowed to at least visit my mother I'll think about it. For now I believe I'll keep all thoughts, theory, and research to myself. Have a good day, Mr. Crouch."

I slid to my feet easily, nodding to him and ducking into the tent. Power plays, if I had permission to leave the country I could get a bit more done. For example, tracking spells in Albania. Bertha was missing, but that doesn't mean Tommy boy was there still.

And while I should stick around the the coming action I wanted to be able to leave should the need arise. I could always leave with the law watching and sneak back inside just like old times. I was working on enchanting some psychic paper, but it was difficult when trying to keep well away from dark magic so that I didn't accidentally end up with another like Riddles diary.

I waited for several minutes, twirling my wand between my fingers. After around ten I stuck my head out of the tent,  
"Is he gone?"

When Arthur nodded I waltzed out, tucking my wand away.

"Good. Can't stand that man. Not particularly sure why, something tickling the back of my memory again. Reminds me of someone…"

I was thinking that ambassador on the Satellite around the moon of Desarrian. It was stupid difficult to work with that bastard getting in our way. Good people had died that day, but of course his royal asshole-ness had walked away even richer because of bullshit future-y insurance mumbo jumbo.

I sat back down, elbowing Sirius,

"Hey, I thought dogs couldn't have chocolate."

I managed to snag one of the little squares of Honeydukes, eyeing it.

"Just not the same as Hersheys."

Percy was frowning on my other side, deep in thought,

"Could they use mouthing off as an excuse to arrest you?"

I raised an eyebrow at him,

"Fudge doesn't have a leg to stand on. I'm not going to go to the press, of course, Skeeter is a stone cold bi-bat, yeah sure that will do. But as long as he believes I could tank public opinion of him then I'm pretty much untouchable. However we're at a stalemate. He won't let me have my basic human rights, I won't tell him squat. I've forgotten more about time travel than the British ministry will ever know."

Percy accepted that last bit easily enough, but Arthur looked intrigued,

"Albus told us about the ministry causing you to lose your memory, so before that you worked in research for time magic?"

I nodded, snagging more of the chocolate.

"Yup. Something like that. I actually seem to recall something about a temporal displacement fracture in Montana and then hitting my head in London. I am also positive that the year was all wrong when I got there, but then I got apparated and something foul tasting was shoved down my throat, so it's all guesswork."

There was a beat of silence before I changed the subject,

"Anyway, I'm a shameless eavesdropper, and I want to know what I missed about what's happening at Hogwarts."

I watched those still students at the school deflating, and raised an eyebrow. Ron groaned,

"Well then it's all over. We were going to ask _you_."

I shrugged,

"I've been working on a pet project of mine, no rest for the wicked and all that. I don't socialize with the staff much so they probably never thought to tell me."

Of course I knew it was the tournament, but I wasn't actually told, so it would be best not to 'know'. Arthur shook his head in amusement,

"I'll tell you later, Marissa. For now let's hear about this project of yours."

I froze, glancing at Sirius, who caught the action and started giggling. I elbowed him but he didn't stop. I huffed,

"I'm just….well it's...look, you probably don't want to know."

Sirius nodded, still trying to catch his breath,

"Plausible deniability and all that."

He promptly launched into more laughter and I resisted the urge to kick him. Percy seemed to get what I was talking about, and rolled his eyes at the both of us.

It wasn't long before we were all released onto the souvenir people, and I'm including Sirius and myself with the children. I had remembered the twins having no souvenirs, their gold going to that cheat Bagman, so with the fruits of a picking up a few shifts at the Three Broomsticks I handed a pair of omnioculars to each of them. When they tried to protest I glared them down,

"I have no little brothers to spend money on, let me get the mothering out of my system when someone can benefit from it. But if your father asks you held some money back from Bagman."

Their father did indeed ask, and looked relieved when they answered like I told them to.

"Good, good, so you are smart enough to not give away _all_ your savings." He'd drifted off, the twins looking slightly offended. I clapped them on the shoulder, dragging them over to the posters.

"Shake it off, boys, you probably just got away with gambling in front of your father."  
I heard a slightly distant 'It's time' and grinned,

"Come on, you heard the man!"

We swept off towards the stadium, following the trail of lanterns.

 **~TimeLordOfPie**


	19. Chapter 19

I ignored the byplay with the Malfoys, sending a genial smile to Draco when I saw him. I was a bit shocked when he smiled back easily, but I shook it off, listening to the Bulgarian Minister go on about the Boy-Who-Lived. I glanced at the man,

"The kid _is_ right here, you know. You could say something _to_ him rather than _about_ him."

I could feel eyes on me and saw Fudge staring,

"My dear, you know Bulgarian?"

I frowned,

"No, I-oh. I guess I do."

The translation matrix. I wasn't paying attention and it did it's job beautifully. That piece of the TARDIS was still in my head, then. I can work with that. It may link me to the other dimension enough to get _back_...

I was caught up in translating for the minister for the next few minutes, which to me was a weird repeating of what I said, only looking at different people when speaking. Apparently if I direct it at the Bulgarians it came out in their language, at Fudge and it was English. It was weird and I dreaded it cutting out randomly and me left stupidly just repeating a phrase in English. However that didn't happen and I was left in peace when Bagman shouldered up,

"Everyone ready? Minister-ready to go?"  
The mascots came first and chaos followed. Narcissa Malfoy only barely missed Draco as he made to follow his classmates over to jump from the box, and I rolled my eyes as I caught the back of his coat, pulling him easily back into his seat, the impact startled him enough that he looked around.

"Clear your mind, kid."

He sniffed in annoyance,

"Well, that's _specific_."

My mouth twitched in an aborted smile that he caught anyway. I shrugged,

" _Don't_ think of pink elephants."  
I turned back to watch the disgustingly perfect women continue their routine, noticing from the corner of my eye that Draco was having a small freak out from only being able to think about pink elephants. The veela left and Draco sniffed,

"That was rubbish advice."

I raised an eyebrow at him,

"Hmm, really?"

He nodded and I shrugged,

"Well, you managed to not take a header out of the stands, so I'd say it did pretty well."

His face went blank, probably running through it. He had been so worried about suddenly thinking about elephants that the veela weren't on his mind. I winked, turning back to see the leprechauns. I plucked a piece of gold from the air as it came my way, turning it over for a bit to try to see the difference between it and real gold, perhaps a bit in the weight, I think. I tossed it aside, and when Percy looked at me like I was mad I shrugged,

"Leprechaun gold. It's gonna fade in a few hours."

Percy wilted slightly and went to drop it. I stopped him, leaning in and whispering,

"The stasis charm I told you that keeps food fresh? Should make it last a bit longer should someone accidentally use it to get change or a butterbeer or something. I'm told only Goblins can tell the difference at a glance."

He looked torn between the legal thing, and being held back by his family's status. Eventually he pocketed it, whispering back to me,

"Well it's not like I can grab more now, you explained in full view."

I rolled my eyes,

"Explain it to your brothers when it's over and 'confiscate it'."

I didn't feel too bad about money laundering of a sort, they shouldn't throw around shit like this if they didn't want it used. Plus, my views on 'stealing' are a bit lax, the Doctor tends to point the sonic at an ATM and go from there. My morals, in this case, were not learned from the best of sources. So I just let Percy nod his head and added 'corrupting children' to the list of reasons I was going to hell.

I watched the game itself in awe, it was so much better than reading about it, or watching the snatches from the movie. I hadn't bothered to get omnioculars for myself, but either way I could tell what was happening. I didn't know which team to cheer for, Krum would be at our school soon enough, but Ireland was going to win. Plus the Weasleys were all cheering for Ireland. I refrained from taking a side, and noticed Percy eyeing me for it. I shrugged, calling over the noise just barely so he could hear me.

"Doesn't matter anyway, Krum with the snitch and Ireland gets the win."

He rolled his eyes, recognizing the twins bet, I had noticed that he'd bullied Bagman into the contract earlier, but the Ministry official hadn't been overly worried about it. Before Percy could comment the Irish scored a goal and he joined his family in the cheer fest.

I outright cackled when Mr. Weasley turned the veela into a life lesson, just like in the book.

" **And,** _ **that**_ **, boys, is why you never go for looks alone!"**

I watched the fight for a bit until the game pulled me back in, people flying everywhere, evidence of masters of flight. I envied them for a second before mentally reminding myself that I had once or twice single-handedly flown a time machine through space. I win, leave it there.

Fred and George's prediction came true, and I grinned, cheering with them.

We paraded back to the tents in a whirl of heady victory. Sirius was carrying Harry on his shoulders, cheering loudly the whole while, and Harry was looking the happiest I'd ever seen him. I felt a rush of pride in that I had helped put it there, but moved on quickly, there was still a lot to be done. Ginny nearly fell asleep in her cocoa, like in the book, but I managed to slide the scorching drink out of the way before it could meet her face. Hermione and I took an arm each and led her over to the girls tent. It was considerably smaller than the one all the boys shared, but there were less of us after all. The girls changed into their pajamas and as the only one in the tent allowed to use magic I set up the silencing charms so the boys next door wouldn't hear the gossip and giggles. Now that Ginny was away from her father's line of sight she was awake and chipper, I eyed her for a bit, but she showed no shame. I hoped her compliance would be back when we got to school, I am not a doormat, our friendship outside of Hogwarts shall not be used against me on the inside. Dear lord, I'm making it sound like a prison gang.

The girls changed into pajamas but I sat at the table with them still in jeans, having changed into a black batman t-shirt, jacket draped over the back of my chair, wand beside my tea. The girls had glanced at my scars, and kindly ignored them. I was able to relax and they didn't send me pitying looks. I figured they were used to Harry's scar getting comments and knew how he felt about it, they were most likely applying the same principle to me. I couldn't remember if the danger had happened well after the match, the next night, or right after. I made sure that we could hear the revelry outside, just in case, and Ginny asked about it, nose wrinkled.

"Why don't you silence the outside, too?"

I shrugged, taking a sip of my tea before answer while adding more sugar,

"Well, if your father calls for us to get up in the morning and we don't hear him because I fell asleep and didn't take it down then we're screwed. I'd rather not get caught as an accomplice to letting the two of you break whatever curfew he set."

I didn't notice the exact moment that the cheers turned to screaming, but I realized it shortly before I heard Mr. Weasley yelling at the boys. I stood, grabbing my wand, throwing my jacket at Ginny, who couldn't find hers in the chaos of the tent.

"Come on girls, out, out, let's see what the fuss is about."

My voice was calm and steady, either because I knew what was going on already, or from experience with stupidly high stress situations I wasn't sure. Hermione looked suspicious for a second and I rolled my eyes, putting my hands on her shoulders and hating that she was my height.

"Hermione, I worked with _time_ , the raw force of everything that ever was, is, or could be. Stress I can handle, stress I am used to. Suspicion from one of the few intelligent people I trust, _that_ I cannot handle at the moment. So please, just come with me."

She looked me in the eye for a second before relaxing under my hands and nodding, looking determined. Ginny grabbed one of her hands, as well as mine and I dragged the two of them out of the tent, wand in my right hand because Ginny had my left. I didn't let it bother me. I could write well enough with it, wielding a wand with it shouldn't be too much of an issue. We were met with the others from the remaining tent, their hair wild, and most of them in pajamas and bathrobes. I scowled at Sirius as he was eyeing my already tied shoes, and jeans.

"I don't sleep on Thursday nights, it's a good night for thinking."

I wasn't lying, I often don't sleep on Thursdays. He seemed to recognise this because he rolled his eyes, sending Harry towards the other kids as Arthur explained,

"Head for the woods, hide! Stick together, I'll come get you when it's over!"

I went to follow them, only to have Sirius catch my arm. Ginny didn't let go of my hand, looking terrified. I glanced back at the other 'adult's' that I was apparently supposed to join. I grabbed the closest Twin, transferring Ginny to him, looking her in the eye and saying with the conviction of one who's read the future and knows that it's truth,

"Go with them, don't get separated. You. Will. Be. Fine."

She didn't look so sure so I poked the jacket she was wearing,

"I am paranoid as hell, okay, so that jacket has enough wards to stop Bombada Maxim at ten paces, believe me I tested it. This does not mean be careless, understood?"  
She looked relieved, but then it fell as her brother tried to drag her along,

"But what about you, you'll be in danger, shouldn't you take it?"  
"Psh, I've seen worse. I'll be alright, go!"  
She finally let her brother drag her away and I followed Arthur who glanced at me from the corner of his eye,

"Is it true? What you said about the jacket?"

I nodded, eyes darting around us at the gloom,

"Yes. There's also enough chocolate in the pockets to induce sugar coma, so the lot of them should find it advantageous."

The brunt of the action came into view, muggles held in the air, people in masks laughing. We split up then without a word, I saw Percy start to come with me but I motioned him to his brothers. I couldn't protect him as well as they could. Charlie fought dragons, and Bill unraveled ancient and powerful magic everyday. They would keep him safe. I crept through the tents, keeping cover as I picked off some of them, right until they noticed me. One of them used the imperious on a muggle, having them walk into a tent, crushing and getting tangled. He laughed, a strange sound among all of the violence all around us.

I was flushed out of hiding by a flash of red light in the corner of my eye that sent me rolling out of the way and popping up to send a jinx their way. I summoned one of the muggles that was floating, grabbing a nearby wizard and shoving her at him. It was an elderly woman. Easily in her eighties, if not more. Her skin was like paper and she looked just as delicate. The wizard was young, probably just graduated, though not from Hogwarts. I sent him a stern look and he scurried off, carrying his new charge. I sent a curse at one of the Death Eaters that tried to get past me to her. One of them left to find easier prey, but three stayed. I sent a wave of water at the lot of them, just to make their lives miserable, and then a curse while they were blinking the liquid out of their eyes. I did things like that for the next few minutes, unable to knock them out, there were too many against one of me and I was still relatively new to this magic thing after all.

I knew we didn't have too much longer until Morsmordre spread across the sky and they all fled. In the books no one was hurt. Well, the Prophet said no one was hurt, but they weren't exactly the most trustworthy or sources. I spent most of my time dodging and thanking God that Zoopy had better aim than these people. Mostly. There were three of them and I was only used to fending off a fairly swift house elf. These were adult wizards with experience dueling in war, from the first time Voldemort rose. If someone was seriously hurt or died then the consequences would be worse if they were found out. Then again, perhaps at this point they don't care.

I was knocked backwards into a tent pole, head hitting the ground viciously when I dropped. There was a ringing in my ears, and I felt slightly sick, my wand a few stops away. I reached for it with my right hand, only to have a black boot descend on my right wrist with a sharp crack. I screamed, cutting it off quickly and breathing in quick short bursts, trying to hold back the pain. Right, I'd been holding it with my right hand, because Ginny had been holding my left...so my wand hand was still intact. They were laughing and saying something, but the words were all jumbled, and my ears weren't working properly. My vision was a bit fuzzy and I had to blink several times to get it cleared enough to figure out where they were. Wands were pointed at me and I had a feeling they were going to lift me into the air like they had the muggles. I raised my left hand, wand flying into it. Some spells are always more powerful with a wand. I sent hexes at the two that I could see, rolling to try to get to my feet, sending explosive lights down to blind them, closing my eyes at the right moments.

I didn't see the third one, but I felt it.

" _Crucio!"_

I dropped to the ground, screaming, curled in on myself and just waiting for it to end, or death to come.

It dropped and I sucked in breath quickly, hearing still mostly out of focus. My throat burned, and my muscles were on fire, but I was alive with my sanity intact which is more than can be said for others who have been under the curse.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and automatically pointed my wand to them, blinking for several seconds before I recognised Sirius. I lowered my wand, letting my head fall back to the ground, just breathing. Sirius spoke again and I realised he must have been doing so the whole time.

"Mara? You alright?"

I nodded, limbs shaking.

"Yeah, just...just give me a second."

My voice was scratchy and I wished I had some water. I could probably magic some up, but I really wasn't feeling up to the effort. He didn't look so sure, pointing to my arms.

"Did they do this?"

I glanced over at the scars, shaking my head slightly.

"No, old, old. Had 'em for a while."

Though a curse would be useful if it could scar the injury almost immediately. Think of how streamlined torture would become, no one dying of blood loss halfway through...but I wasn't going to be the one to create such a curse. Torture isn't my thing.

I stuck up my left hand,

"Help me up?"

He complied, easily getting me to my feet and holding me in place when I started swaying a bit.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

I sighed,

"Not particularly. I'm not actually versed on what spells leave long lasting damage, but those probably did their share."

I held up my right wrist, turning it over to see the mottled bruising starting to form, as well as the protrusion of bone at the side.

"Ow."

The pain from my wrist was pale in comparison to what the dark magic had done, so I wasn't particularly worried about it at the moment. Sirius however,

"You're hurt! Come on, let's get you to Arthur, he went to find the children. I'm sure one of those ministry idiots knows a bit of healing magic."

He put a heavy arm over my shoulders and I leaned into him, soaking up the warmth. I hadn't realized just how cold I'd been. The chill of the dark magic mixed with the night air had me cold inside and out. But he was warm, and letting me lean on him so it was all good. He probably wouldn't have the heart to tease me about it later, kicking a dog while it's down wasn't his thing, anymore at least. And if he did then I couldn't bring myself to care at the moment.

We moved slowly, passing several groups of people gathering themselves together. There were tears and sobs of relief from those finding loved ones who had been lost in the chaos. I heard familiar voices from our tents as we approached and sighed, trying to take some of my weight off Sirius. He wouldn't allow it,

"Come on, Mara, you're not fooling anyone. Take help, no one's going to think less of you for it."

I didn't really have the energy to argue, starting to finally truly feel the pain in my wrist. We came into sight to see several redheads arguing, a few dark heads among them. Sirius called ahead of us, and I could feel the rumble when he spoke.

"I found her!"

They stopped and turned to us, I was hiding the awkward bone sticking out of my wrist the best I could, turned away from them. Not a sight for small children. Or medium ones. Or the larger ones.

I waved with my left hand, holding my wand awkwardly in my right, fingers not wanting to move properly. I was rushed by the kids but Sirius put a hand out,

"Stop right there! I'm not having any of you manhandling her until we have a healer take a look."

Ginny's eyes were shining with tears,

"Are you hurt?"  
I shrugged on of my shoulders, trying not to lean on Sirius as much as before and failing miserably, drawn to the warmth as cold crept into what felt like my soul.

"I just need rest, I think…"

Sirius snorted,

"Yeah, only rest, sure. Arthur?"

The Weasley Patriarch nodded, turning to Bill.

"Go get Milo, he should be in the same place as before."

Bill rushed off and Sirius started walking again, and I was forced to follow or lose my heater. He helped lower me down onto the couch in the guy's tent, trying to leave but I caught his arm shivering. I didn't have words to say 'stay and be my heater' so I let go, dropping my hand and leaning back, closing my eyes. I didn't notice when a blanket dropped over me, but it was there when I woke, a stranger with blue eyes and ruffled brown hair trying to maneuver to get to my broken wrist. I lifted it, taking the fact that Sirius, Arthur, and Bill were calmly letting him go about moving me around. He must be the healer, Milo. I held back the references to Milo Thatch and Atlantis, still unsure if Atlantis wasn't a thing here or not.

He took a look at my wrist and I fought for control of my thoughts for a while, just too tired to be bothered with paying attention. Magic would fix up my wrist and I would be allowed to sleep, then I could go back to the school and this would all be behind me.

I was jerked awake when the warmth returned to my limbs with a slight shock, I sat up, blinking hard for a few seconds. I was faced with a two horrified Weasley's, a stoic Sirius, and a furious healer. He pointed a finger at me threateningly,

"When were you planning on telling me that wasn't your only injury?"

I blinked at him,

"What?"

He scowled,

"You were held under the cruciatus curse for several minutes, that kind of magic doesn't leave you unmarked! Could you not feel the chill?"

I leaned away from him slightly,

"Well, yeah."

He huffed,

"I'm assigning a potion regime for you to take, try to cut down your magic usage for a few days at least."

He spoke with Arthur for several seconds before turning back to me,

"I'll be owling them to Hogwarts, be sure you take them. I'm going to owl Poppy as well, so she knows you're supposed to be doing it."  
I winced, no way in hell was she going to let me get away with forgetting it, no matter how disgusting they tasted. Arthur followed Milo, and Bill stood there for a second before pointing to the outside,

"I'm, just going to let the kids know you're alright."

Sirius crossed his arms just standing there for a second.

"It's my fault. I should have let you leave with the children. You weren't confident in fighting, I should have seen it."

I stared at him for a second, and he turned to leave.

"Hey, wait a second."

He stopped and I motioned him over, feeling the chill returning to my limbs and hating it.

"I don't blame you, but if you feel the need to make it up to me get over here."

He approached warily, as if expecting me to hit him. I patted the couch beside me and he sat hesitantly. I automatically leaned against him, pulling the blanket closer.

"There. I think it's an animagus thing, but you seem warmer than other people and the aftereffects of that curse are chilling my insides. Hope you don't mind being my personal heater for a bit."

I faltered near the end, and dropped off before I could hear his answer. He didn't violently push me off at least, and I no longer felt like my soul was leaking from my pores.

 **~TimeLordOfPie**


	20. Chapter 20

I woke up in the same place, on the couch beside Sirius who was now passed out as well. The part of me that had still been lucid expected him to leave the moment I was asleep. Guess he really did feel guilty about having me stay. The children were out and about already, packing to leave. I pulled myself together, elbowing Sirius awake. He twitched for a second and I sighed,

"Come on, mutt, up you get. Time to go home."

He straightened a bit, blinking in the light while I grimaced at the scratchy quality of my voice. With him sitting a bit away from me I could feel the chill creeping back and shivered slightly, resulting in his arm going over me once again.

"They can handle the packing, I'm sure."

He made to go back to sleep but I elbowed him again,

"Reluctant as I am to step back into the cold I don't live at the Burrow, and neither do you. Therefore we have to pack our own things."

He snorted, snuggling further into the couch and pulling me closer to bury his head in my hair like I was a pillow. I stiffened, fighting off a violent blush.

"See, that's where you're wrong. I have a little minion that's probably already finished with my things as well as his own, and Ginny seems quite taken with you, I'm sure she's already gotten yours."

"I don't want to leave my packing to my students, think of the blackmail the twins could come up with!"

"What, afraid they're going to steal your knickers?"

"Not particularly, but I am quite nervous of what they'll do with all the information I've gathered on Ministry personnel, should they find my jacket."

He groaned,

"But I doubt little red would leave that jacket alone long enough for them to get their hands on it anyway."

After that I couldn't find a better argument, and I was comfortable and warm. So I sighed,

"You, sir, are a horrible influence."

I let my head fall to his shoulder and let the warmth call me back to sleep. When I woke green eyes were staring at me, large and bright behind thick lenses. I jumped up, left hand clutching my heart.

"Jesus, kid. Is something wrong?"

He rubbed his neck sheepishly,

"Ah, Mr. Weasley said to wake you, the Portkeys about to leave."

I nodded, elbowing Sirius, who groaned,

"Mara, we've been through this, there's no reason to move."

"The portkeys about to leave."

"And I can apparate."

"They're going to take down the tent."

He sighed, moving his arm so I could get up. I stood, cracking my back and rubbing at my right wrist absently.

"Did you see where my wand-oh, thank you Harry."

He handed it to me, still watching me with those unnerving green eyes. They looked calculating and I spent a few seconds trying to figure out what suspicious thing I might have done lately before shaking it off.

"I should go find Ginny, see if she has my coat. All of my things were in it still."

Harry looked skeptical and I pointed up at the tent ceiling,

"Bigger on the inside, my friend, bigger on the inside."  
I found the girl, who hugged me tightly, threatening to break into tears until I assured her I was completely fine. She gave me my jacket back, thanking me profusely for its use. I swung it on just as Harry and Sirius exited the tent. Sirius was looking a bit red, and I frowned, worried for his health. Did he catch a cold or something? He seemed fine earlier. I went to ask only to find the Twins at my side, one of them patting my arm gently.

"You were right about Bagman, Professor."

"This morning we were counting the gold and it just up and disappeared-"

"-and Percy said it was Leprechaun gold. We have grounds for a lawsuit-

"-since you thought to have a contract put in ahead of time."

I waved them off,

"I had good intel on him, he's always been a bit flaky."

We gathered around the boot, and once again when we landed I ended up on my ass. I lay there for a second, still tired beyond belief, and the cold was slowly seeping back. The twin who had been to my left when I fell helped me up,

"You alright, Professor?"

I nodded,

"Yeah, yeah. I'll live."

The walk back to the Burrow was quiet, and Molly rushed to her children, mothering everyone in sight. I got a hug, just like everyone else, and said a quick goodbye to everyone as I made my way through. I stopped by Arthur,

"I need to get to Hogwarts. That Milo guy said he'd send ahead my prescription."

He motioned me ahead to the floo,

"Take care of yourself Mara, remember, go easy on the magic."

I waved to Harry on my way to the Floo, not managing to catch Sirius' attention. I shrugged it off and stepped into the fire, flooing straight to my office. Minerva and Poppy were waiting for me there. I was whisked off to the hospital wing where Poppy checked me over and Minerva raged.

"We didn't know if you were alive or not until a healer sent an owl to make sure you took your potions. The cruciatus, Mara, the _cruciatus_! What were you thinking?"

I shrugged,

"I was thinking that Arthur, his eldest boys, and Sirius could use some help clearing out the assholes in masks. They were torturing muggles, Minerva, elderly or child, they didn't care. I'd be willing to bet good money that their injuries and trauma aren't mentioned. 'No one hurt' or something like that."

Minerva snorted,

"Please, you're a teacher at Hogwarts, someone's going to hear you were hurt and toss that in the Ministry's face."

"Good, they need to sweat a bit, the jerks. I had Crouch trying to strong arm me into giving up private research material, the asswagon."

She looked like she wanted to say something about my language, but was sidetracked slightly,

"Private research?"

"Yeah, when I was found they did scans to certify I was a witch and found oodles of time energy, I was sort of doing private research and they want what I know."

She huffed,

"That is illegal, no way around it. Private research is extensively protected, it's the lifeblood of the magic community nowadays, if the government could just take it then there would be anarchy."

I was given a few potions and sent to bed shortly after that, told to rest for a few days. I was arriving back from the game on time, so I simply told the Doctor it went about the same as before, only with me there. I didn't mention getting hurt, breezing through as quickly as possible to hide in my room. I couldn't bring myself to tell him about it.

The opening feast sprung out of nowhere, and I found myself sitting irritably at the table with the rest of the staff, bundled up in several layers. I couldn't quite get rid of the cold properly yet. In the end it had worked its way into the news that I had been injured, but it wasn't mentioned to what degree, or how. Several students were pointing me out, whispering amongst themselves. I caught a few of them muttering about whether or not I was the defense teacher, since they couldn't see Remus' replacement anywhere. I wanted to roll my eyes, but refrained. I was paler than ever and Minerva was giving me that worried look that meant she was going to force me to have seconds today.

I saw movement at the Gryffindor table and smiled over at the Weasleys, Harry, and Hermione, all of them waving enthusiastically. I hadn't been back to the Burrow, sending letters to Molly saying that Poppy didn't want me leaving the castle. It painted a bad picture for my health, but really she wanted me where she could see me at all times. The sorting passed and dinner appeared, I was right, Minerva was determined that I would eat everything she could reach to push towards me. I glanced over at the Gryffindors every now and again, noticing that Nearly Headless Nick was nowhere near the Golden Trio. Hmm. I had prevented Peeves from screwing with the house elves, and only later realized that it would prevent the formation of S.P.E.W. Well, at least push it back a little bit. Fred or George were bound to mention where they kept getting the food from.

Dessert appeared and I snatched closer as much chocolate as possible. Minerva nodded in approval but Poppy made a tutting noise.

"Mara dear, if you were feeling the cold again you should have told me. I have Pepper Up, you know."

I made a face, pulling my plate of cake closer,

"Chocolate works much better."

She raised an eyebrow,

"Does it? All of the books say that Pepper Up's the only way to go about it."

I shook my head, motioning to the cake with my fork,

"Nope. Practical research trumps theory. I read up on it, but trial and error eventually got me what I needed to know. Chocolate is the best to eat for the chill, but human contact works better. Don't try to move too much unless you've already been awake for at least three hours, if you get too cold don't fall asleep, things like that."

She pursed her lips, thinking for a second before hesitantly inquiring,

"Do you think you could write these down? Heaven knows I'd hate to need them again, but…"

I nodded, smiling at her,

"Sure, I'll drop it by the Hospital Wing on Tuesday when I pick up my potion."

There was a few minutes worth of chatter before the food vanished and Dumbles dropped the bombshell of the tournament. I allowed myself to scowl at the room before clearing my face and sighing, rubbing at my temples. What was the Ministry thinking with this, the idiots. Actually...what were they thinking?

I frowned, glaring at the table, mind flashing through possibilities until Minerva jabbed me,

"Come along, whatever you're thinking about can wait till tomorrow. You even missed Alastor's grand entrance for Pete's sake."

I had the random thought of wondering who Pete was before I stood to follow her. She took my arm, helping me down the steps and I rolled my eyes, just knowing it was going to send the students who saw it wagging their tongues to the others.

"Minerva, I can walk on my own."

"Oh, hush, dear, you look like you're about to fall over."

We exited the room through the side door, and she waited until it slammed behind us and the noise from the students disappeared.

"Now, what was weighing on your mind this evening?"

"This tournament. It doesn't make sense. It's dangerous, people died in it all the time. I don't see the Headmaster agreeing to it being held again, never mind _at_ Hogwarts."

"He didn't, he was furious about it for a time, but the Ministry insisted."

I snorted,

"They don't have the right, Hogwarts is-...subject to the control of the Governors."

Book two, they tossed out Dumbledore on Malfoy's say so. Malfoy. Loyal Death Eater extraordinaire.

"Who on the board has ties to the Ministry? Well, there's the one that comes to mind, but his son isn't even old enough to compete. So, what other affiliations does said person have?"

We reached my rooms, the trip not taking me nearly as long with Minerva helping. I scowled at the door as I opened it,

"I don't like this Minerva. Something's up here."

She patted my arm fondly,

"And I'm sure you'll get to the bottom of it, stubborn as you are."

I rolled my eyes, but smiled at her.

"Thanks Minerva."

I glanced around my rooms, searching for the stack of papers I had prepared for the morning. The Doctor sighed from his portrait,

"You took them to your office three days ago, Mara. Are you sure you're alright?"

I shrugged, not looking him in the eye.

"Must be the weather."

I retreated into my bedroom quickly, and when I peeked out later to say Good night he had wandered out of his portrait, Fez gone.

 **~TimeLordOfPie**


	21. Chapter 21

The next morning I bundled up yet again, wearing leggings under my boot cut jeans, two pairs of socks under my boots, and a recently obtained Weasley sweater with a blue 'M' on the front over a long sleeved shirt. My robes were wrapped tightly around me, and I was clutching my coffee for dear life, sitting curled up in my chair rather than on the desk.

My first class had Cedric Diggory in it. Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw, my seventh years. I waited for the proper time for class to start, and silence fell when I stood, setting down my coffee. I sighed, picking up the chalk and writing out a page number.

"This year there was a text included in your school lists for this class. Please take it out and turn to the page indicated."

They did as they were told, none voicing their confusion on having a book this year.

"The book was written by Muggles. As a professor I can put in special requests for Flourish and Blotts to stock certain books specifically, which is good for you guys because running around Muggle London looking for it would probably not have gone over well."

I pointed to the number on the board,

"This page starts with the specific period of study for the Seventh year curriculum. In advance, to address the confusion over the differences from last year I will explain, so put your hand down, please, Mister Barrett, I'm getting there."

I waited for him to lower his hand slightly sheepishly before continuing.

"Last year was the re-introduction of the class. Therefore blanket coverage went to all year levels. However, now it is going on to what will be considered 'normal'. Third years will start with in depth coverage of early history, and as the year level increases so does the period of history being studied. You guys, as seventh years, get recent history. This covers the war with Voldemort-"

I ignored the flinches, "the conflict in Vietnam, the cold war, and a few other tidbits. You are seventh years. Next year you will be out in the world, and it is very likely you will run into muggles. As I observed in the first half of the world cup-"

Several students stirred at this, sitting up straighter. Sorry to disappoint.

"-wizards and witches had trouble blending into muggle society. Like with the cup, sometimes you need to know how to act and what not to say. Therefore that will be part of this years study. Recent pop culture, fashion trends, inventions, things like that. I want you to succeed, believe it or not, that means not ending up in muggle prison because a cop thinks that 'muggle' is some offensive slur, or because he see's you doing something weird somewhere you shouldn't be doing it. But I'm saving that for towards the end of the year. For now, the page you're looking at has a big picture on it, anyone care to name what's in the picture?"

Class went as normal from then on, with the Muggle borns or half bloods occasionally knowing the answers. I was surprised I had so many people in a non-required class during their NEWT year, but whatever. If they wanna learn I'm not stopping them.

I assigned some reading, but no real homework, they would have enough on their plates without me adding useless assignments to it. Class ended but no one moved, a hand was in the air. I raised an eyebrow,

"Is there a problem Mister Barrett?"

"Your injury, from the cup, are you better now?"

I stared at him for a second before looking out at the rest, all paying more attention than they had in class. I rolled my eyes,

"I will live, Mister Barrett. Now unless you need something pertaining to school work I suggest the lot of you head to your next class."

They packed up, leaving, Barrett unsatisfied with his answer.

The same thing happened throughout the day, with students asking about my health. I had to resist the urge to rush outside with food after dinner. But there was no dog to feed this time. The loneliness from that was crushing for a second, and I wondered for a bit if I should get a cat. It could keep the Doctor company when I was gone. Or I could cuddle it to keep me warm in the classroom. No one needed to know. But that would require leaving the castle, and I couldn't apparate, and floo was being tracked. Poppy would be furious with me if she found out I'd left the castle. So I couldn't start my crazy cat-lady collection just yet.

Instead of sneaking food for my now nonexistent dog I prowled near the Great Hall for the scene with Malfoy and the Magnificent Bouncing Ferret. But it didn't happen. I was near giving up when I felt the ache settling back into my bones. I had managed to work most of it out but it was returning with a vengeance. I saw Malfoy holding a Daily Prophet, glancing at the trio, and hesitating. He went back to his conversation. I stopped, staring at the lot of them for a while, trying to think through the implications of that. The only difference, the only thing that set apart this Draco Malfoy was that he'd had a few life lessons and heart to hearts with me. I felt a thrill of victory for a few seconds before the trio saw me where I was leaning against the wall, trying to get up the energy to get back to my rooms.

"Professor!"

Hermione led the pack, rushing to my side and looking worried,

"Professor, you stopped writing to Mrs. Weasley, and Sirius said he hadn't heard from you either, you didn't answer any of our letters, we thought you had gotten worse!"

I smiled weakly at her,

"Appologies, Miss Granger. I've been busy doing a lot of hiding from our very own resident Medi-Witch. She's determined that I must constantly take these particularly vile concoctions."

I saw her heading my way and straightened, forcing myself to find my second wind.

"Ah, there she is now, you'll have to excuse me. See you in class!"

I ducked behind a pillar and made for a tapestry I'd caught students behind at one point, using it to end up on the third floor, and cutting towards my rooms. Poppy was waiting outside and I sighed,

"Did the kids rat me out?"

She rolled her eyes, thrusting three different potions at me.

"No, you've become predictable."

I choked the potions down and let her run a few scans, she tutted once again.

"You need to take it easy, Mara. There's only so much the potions can do, your body needs time to heal."

"I've barely walked all day, I'm sure I just need a bit of time."

She didn't look convinced, but bid me good night in any case.

The next few days I walked more, determined to prove that motion and working out the kinks would make me feel better. It didn't work well. I held onto the hope that it would get worse before it got better. I happened to be nearby when the Fifth years left Moody's class.

"Can you imagine the effectiveness of the Cruciatus, though? I mean, the _spider_ even screamed a bit, using it on humans could be seriously effective for information gathering. Pity the Ministry outlawed it, I mean, if a little bitch just can't take the thought of it, isn't that right Longbottom?"

They had eyes on Neville, who was headed in the opposite direction. Poking fun at the fact that his parents had been tortured. Rationalizing the use of the curse that still had me cold to the very soul. I snarled, grabbing shoulders.

"That's quite enough, Mister Harvey!"

The students had never seen me angry, and they were probably grateful for it now. With my extensive dabbling in wandless magic and minimal experience with control I had silvery sparks running along my skin and hair, teeth bared.

"Ten points from Slytherin, and detention."

He waited until I let him go to back up a few steps and protest.

"Detention for what? I was offering a political opinion, you can't punish for-"

"Cursing quite loudly in the hallway, I'll punish you however I like. I'll get back to you about when."

He drew himself up and leaned back a bit,

"My head of house-"

I took a few steps closer to the kid,

"I shall have a word with him, I'm sure we'll be able to come to an agreement."

I looked at the rest of the students, frozen where they had stood when I started speaking.

"Move along."

I didn't raise my voice but they scattered, the grapevine already passing word along. I made my way the dungeons, pushing the door open to find that Snape didn't have a class yet. He was sitting at his desk, marking papers when I came in. I walked to the front, sinking into one of the students chairs, legs shaking, and slightly out of breath. He raised an eyebrow,

"Can I help you, Swift?"

"Call me Mara."

It came out breathlessly and I sat back for a second, hating how weak I was feeling. After a few seconds I sighed, looking back at Snape, who was still watching me.

"One of your Slytherins has detention from me. Thought you ought to know before he tried to protest."

The eyebrow was back up,

"Oh? And which one has committed a crime?"

"Mister Harvey was rationalizing the use of the Cruciatus quite loudly in order to poke at Longbottom, saying that those who broke were weak anyway. I'll admit detention wasn't warranted, but he cursed and I used the excuse. They can have the points back if you'd like, but I'd appreciate it if he still had to do the detention."

"And why would he need detention?"

"Because he's a bully and it's a shit way to live. Pulling down others won't help him reach the top, and someone needs to pound that into his thick skull."

He looked at me for several seconds before going back to his work,

"Mister Harvey is yours, do try not to break him."

I hadn't expected that. I'd thought I'd have to make a deal, sell my soul or something. Wow.

The door slammed open and the next class streamed in, several stopping when they saw me. I made a noise of frustration in my throat, quietly cursing.

"Those thrice damned fucking _stairs_."

I stood, smoothing my robes and trying to walk easily, brushing past the students.

"Lovely day, isn't it?"  
The door automatically closed behind me and I headed to my classroom to check my schedule. Nothing in particular for a while. I wrote out a note for the student, telling him his detention would be with me on Saturday. His detention would be nothing like the Twins. His transgression wasn't harmless.

I left the letter out with his name on it, knowing Zoopy would see that he got it. Sure enough it disappeared before my eyes, probably to appear on his pillow. That would probably freak him out a bit, but I wasn't in the mood to care. I rested for a while before time for dinner came. I would have to make an appearance or Minerva would hunt me down. I sat at the table pushing food around my plate for several minutes, long enough for Minerva to have a short conversation on the weather. Once her attention was elsewhere I stood, leaving the Great Hall as quickly as my aching limbs would allow. I needed chocolate, tea, and sleep.

I was stopped just outside the doors by a voice calling after me,

"Professor Swift!"

I paused for a second and Neville approached, stopping to catch his breath before nervously speaking, fiddling with the edge of his robes.

"Thank you, for defending me, that is. The Slytherins say the detention won't stick, but thank you for trying at least."

I tilted my head, smiling slightly,

"I've already spoken with Professor Snape. Mister Harvey will be serving detention with me regardless of the opinion of his fellow Slytherins."

He smiled weakly, and I frowned,

"Is there something on your mind?"

He shrugged and I remembered, today was Thursday. He had just left Moody's class, just seen the Cruciatus. I sighed,

"If you ever need to talk, you know where to find me. No matter the subject. I'm all ears."

He shook his head,

"It's fine, no one could understand anyway."

I considered him for a second before taking a few steps further into the shadows, motioning him closer. A quick muffliato and I turned back to him.

"Neville, do you know exactly how I was hurt at the World Cup?"

He shrugged,

"Ginny said that you broke your wrist."

I nodded,

"Yes, I did. But I've been told that I look terrible lately, any guesses as to why I'm still affected by something not physically marking me?"

The subject on his mind led him to the correct conclusion rather quickly and his eyes widened. I smiled softly,

"Whatever you want to talk about, I will understand, or at the least I will not judge for it. Sometimes talking will help you. Just...remember that you are not alone. I'm here if you need an empathic ear."

The word 'sympathetic' would have gotten me nowhere, so I left it alone. He thanked me before scurrying off, and I had to wonder about whether he would ever actually speak with me on what was bothering him. I slept fine that night, waking up feeling a bit better than I had.

The next week things got progressively better and I wasn't quite my bouncy self again, but I could walk to dinner without needing to take a breather. This lasted up until Poppy sent me to give note to Moody about one of his students, advising him to take it easy or face her wrath. I have bad luck opening doors and interrupting defense classes, because the moment it opened I had the time to realize that the students were staring at me, Neville was actually looking desperate for some reason, and then I was floating. Or my mind was. The pain was distant, and the lingering slight chill was gone. Then a voice was telling me to do the Macarena. Oh, hell no. The pain is gone, ain't no way in hell that I'm aggravating it now.

The voice got more insistent but I dragged my arms up to be crossed, pain increasing in my head until it was fit to burst, but I've had worse the past few days when I tried to stand up too quickly. The lack of cold was well worth the pain. The pain lifted and I was finally able to see the classroom again, students staring open mouthed. The cold was back, the worst it had been all week, and the aches were once again present. I resisted the urge to curse rather violently and hex Moody.

He was clapping, a smile on his face.

"See, that is how it's done. Potter did well on his first try, but this is how an adult Witch experienced with fighting dark magic manages."

I snarled silently, balling up the note and tossing at his head.

"I'm not a lab rat, point a wand at me again and you'll see _exactly_ why I'm no longer allowed back in France."

I swirled out of the room, stumbling slightly and breath coming in gasps. Damn Moody. No, this was Crouch. Moody wouldn't have used dark magic on someone he knew was fighting it already. Which...could be a good reason to doubt he was who he said he was. I stumbled into the Hospital Wing, nearly groaning when I saw the Twins crowded around Lee Jordan, who was purple and nursing a comically swollen head. Poppy took one look at me and rushed over, motioning to Jordan,

"Take the potion dear, and head back to class, you should be fine. Mara, what happened?"

I huffed,

"Moody declared war, that's what he did."

The three Gryffindors hadn't left and I frankly didn't care, their brother would tell them what happened anyway.

"Moody gained permission to put the Imperious on students and have them throw it off, or try to. I walked in the door and he cast it on me, using me as a fucking teaching aide. You'd think he of all people would know better than to use it on _me_ of all people. As an ex-auror he should know that those trying to get rid of traces of dark magic such as prolonged Cruciatus exposure would be damaged by spells of similar dark nature. Did he just suddenly forget all of that, or choose to ignore it?"

Poppy looked lost for a second, pausing in her scans.  
"Dear, it's possible he didn't know it was you…"

That argument was weak and she knew it.

I scoffed,

"With that eye of his? He saw me coming and explained his actions to the students, they didn't look happy with the surprise approach of it, no more than I did. I want a psych evaluation, or permission to suitably take my revenge."

She sighed, summoning a potion and handing it to me.

"I'll have Charity take the rest of your classes for today, I want you to sleep."

She went about her business and out of the corner of my eye I saw the Gryffindors retreat, closing the door silently behind them. I placed my wand on the table by the bed, glancing around.

"Poppy, are there any other blankets?"

She turned to me, mouth curled in a frown,

"Is the cold back again? I thought it was fading?"

I shrugged,

"It was almost gone, then completely gone when the imperious was trying to assert dominance, then it came back with a vengeance."

She sighed, opening a cabinet and digging out several quilts, carrying them over to me.

"Milo said your exposure was several minutes long, practically the whole length of the attack. I can only imagine what would have happened had the mark not been sent up. They say it was a house elf with a wizards wand."

"Really? Strange…"

The potion started to take effect and I belatedly recognised the effects of dreamless sleep. Tricky woman, Poppy was.

 **~TimeLordOfPie**


	22. Chapter 22

I was so beyond done with Moody. I found the Twins at dinner one evening, a week and a half after my run in with the Imperious curse, tapping their shoulders and grinning in as unnerving a way as possible.

"Come see me after dinner, boys."

They looked guilty as hell for half a second.

"What for Professor?"

I gave them the same look my mother did when I asked a stupid question. Apparently I did it accurately because they slumped, muttering.

"Could have sworn we got away with that, Gred."

"I know, Forge, I know. This woman has eyes everywhere. Ministry, castle, America. We'll never be able to hide if we get on her bad side."

I rolled my eyes,

"Just be there boys."

I actually had no idea what they had done, but if they thought they deserved to report for punishment then whatever, they were less likely to skip out on me.

I struggled my way back to my classroom, sitting on the floor in front of the desk, not bothering to attempt to sit on the desk itself, or in the chair. When the twins came in I waved.

"Take a seat, boys."

They did so and I waited a few seconds before sighing, letting my head fall back and hit the front of the desk.

"You aren't in trouble. Honestly I don't know what you think you've been caught doing, and I don't particularly care."

I waited a second for the relief to clear their expressions before continuing.

"I need your help."  
I let that lie for a second, and saw the confusion build on their faces.

"Professor?"

I dropped the glamours I'd been advised by Poppy to put in place, showing I was pale, and had dropped a ridiculous amount of weight. Alarmed colored their expressions but I held up a hand.

"Let me explain first."

I waited for them to snap their mouths shut before continuing.

"At the World Cup I did indeed break my wrist. But I was held under the Cruciatus curse."

They glanced at each other before shrugging sheepishly,

"Percy told us. He heard Charlie talking about it to Bill and wanted someone at Hogwarts to be able to keep an eye on you."

I raised an eyebrow,

"Did he tell you that it was almost an hour of unrelenting exposure to dark magic?"

"Ah...no."

I snorted,

"Well, it was a very long time, and it left traces. You've obviously noticed that at the beginning of the year I looked like shit, and then seemed to get better. I'm sure you heard of the incident with Moody?"  
One of them scooted forwards in his seat,

"Yeah, is it true you can throw off the Imperius?"  
I rolled my eyes.

"Yes, but that's not the point."

I pointed to myself with a bony finger,

"I was getting better. I was _healing_. Then Moody introduced a sudden influx of dark magic into my system. It was enough to make me regress to worse than before. He was an ex-auror, one of the best. He should _know_ that it would be a dick move. A potentially _deadly_ dick move. Had the curse worked it could have overloaded me, ending in my death. He shouldn't be one to do something like that to a co-worker."

I glanced up at them, leaning forwards.

"Your father had to sort out a mess with him shortly before the beginning of the school year. I think it's the perfect time for it to have happened."

The twins fell right into my clutches. A little too easily for me to be comfortable, but you never knew with these two.

"For what to have happened?"

"For him to have been replaced. Did you know that he drinks from that flask of his every half hour, without fail? And that if it's empty he rushes off to his rooms with barely a warning?"

I paused for a second before pulling myself up to stand, legs shaking slightly and nearly giving for a second there. I looked back up at the twins,

"I think it's Polyjuice."

It's really not too big of a leap, and there have been whispers of me being 'genius', what with all my ramblings that took science to explain magic, so it isn't all that unlikely that I could make the leap. Knowing the future always does make you seem more intelligent than you are.

"Think you could steal the flask?"

They looked alarmed,

"Professor, we're good-"

"-but not that good."

"His eye can see through walls even-"

"-how are we going to stand a chance?"

I rolled my eyes,

"Thought not. Then will you agree to something slightly _more_ dangerous and against the rules?"  
The stared at me incredulously,

"Are you joking?"

"Of course!"

My partners in crime went along with my half-ass plan readily, I half expected them to demand we wait and solidify it a bit more. Admittedly, this could get all three of us in deep water if I was 'wrong', but I doubted it would come to that. By this point I was furious with the Moody imposter, and desperate to keep Harry out of the tournament. Therefore I pretended to be reading a book in an empty classroom nearby, something I had been doing often the past few days, as if to get away from places where people usually could find me. The sixth year Gryffindors and Slytherins had defense a few classes over. The twins were to take down the time when he first took our suspected Polyjuice, and were then to wait until he was close to needing another drink before raising hell. There was a specifically loud firecracker they were to set off that would alert me to their 'foolery'. I would swoop in, distract Moody from there with semi-nonconfrontational smart-assery and we would wait until a few minutes after he should have changed back. If he didn't change, only got pissed, then I would swoop the twins off for punishment myself, where I would decidedly not punish them and we would never speak of the failure again. Should it succeed then it was to be a happy accident rather than a dumb ass cobbled together plan. No one would ever know that we pulled this out of our asses in record time.

It seemed like an eternity before the cracker went off, I looked up, closing my book, trying to play it cool. Who knew where Moody's eye was pointed at any given moment. I marched to the classroom, throwing open the door to see bubbles everywhere. Inside were what looked like small demonic butterflies with tiny fangs. Everyone was cowering from them in a corner, and the twins were among them, good boys, playing innocent. Their terrified expressions were a little too real, so perhaps they really lost control of their creations. The Weasley nearest me checked where Moody's eyes were pointing and held up two fingers before hiding his hands and going back to looking terrified. Two minutes then. I can pretend to need two or more minutes to take care of these things. Or...perhaps I really would need all the time.

After a bit of failure I was running out of time to observe him. It was simple enough to bump the failures his way and prevent him from going for the flask. I'd summoned it earlier, during a particularly violent attack of several butterfly demons that had escaped their bubbles. When his skin started to look like it was boiling I transfigured the desks into nets, sweeping them all up and looking at Moody as if concerned.

"Alastor, are you alright? Did one of them bite you?"  
He was searching desperately through his coat pockets,

"No, no I'm fine, just fine."

I waved to one of the kids,

"Someone go get Madame Pomfrey!"

Angelina rushed off, leaving the door slightly ajar behind her. I summoned a chair, pushing him down into it gently, and wandlessly negating the summoning charm he tried to use to get the flask, watching it spin slightly where I had stashed it under his desk. As likely a place as any for it to end up after this scuffle.

"Are you sure you weren't bitten Alastor, you seem more fidgety than normal. Perhaps you should-"

"Dammit woman, where is my flask?"

I raised an eyebrow at him,

"Now is hardly the time to be drinking."

"It's not alcohol, it's medication!"

I had considered that as a possibility, but his face was already shuffling, and his eye straining in the straps. When it fell I levitated it over my right hand, not wishing to touch it for fear of damaging the thing, or finding out if it was slimy or glassy, I didn't need to know. I stood from where I had been crouched next to him, backing up to stand in front of the children, wand raised.

"Stand back, kids, this isn't a normal reaction to withdrawal of any sort."

I watched as the leg thunked to the ground, rolling away as the eye should have. When his face settled I couldn't help but stumble back a bit. I had known, of course, that Barty Crouch Jr looked like the Doctor in one of his past incarnations. We had joked about that once, when we went to see it in theatres once it was made four dimensional. This was different. It was the _Doctor's face_ that was scowling at me so viciously. My wand drooped a bit and I staggered back a step, mind blank. Doctor…in the flesh...

The flash of green light flew over my head as Crouch was hit with several stunning spells from behind me. I couldn't breathe, the motion and cold catching up to me suddenly. I sat down heavily, trying to suck in air and barely noticing when Poppy was looking over the now bound Crouch. I heard chatter around me and Poppy asking what curse he had hit me with several times before one of the twins pulled her away gently,

"Madame Pomfrey, that man looks exactly like her boggart."

She froze before turning to stare at the redhead,

"What?!"

Oh yeah. They did see the tenth doctor as part of my boggart. Well, they wouldn't know it was a different person altogether, now would they?

Angelina spoke up from where she had been watching Lee poke at the leg from where it had dropped.

"Yes, he was wasn't he? He was wearing different clothes and looked much younger, different hair, but it was him. There were these dark shadows crawling everywhere and she just sort of froze up before she realized it was a boggart."

Poppy made a strangled noise before she rushed to the office, and I heard the flare of the floo and seconds later Dumbledore and the heads of all four houses were in the room. Well, results. They must have been in a meeting. Joy.

She had hushed words with them while I tried to struggle to my feet, one of the twins telling me to stay down. I waved him off,

"Quit, we have to find the _actual_ Moody. Polyjuice needs fresh samples, he's got to be keeping him somewhere."

I staggered over to the office, Poppy trying to stop me. I waved her off, clutching the doorframe for a few seconds before waving my wand over the office.

" _Homenum Revelio."_

The trunk revealed light, just as I thought it might. There was always the chance of it having powerful blocks for that sort of thing, but the belongings were actually Moody's and he probably had no need to hide a human in his trunk. I walked over, legs still shaking a bit and threw open the lid, not so much as even a simple locking charm. I stepped back, waving Poppy forward,

"I think he might need medical attention."

I stumbled over the side, glancing at Minerva before jerking my chin to the door of the office.

"We should get the kids out of here."

She sniffed,

"'We' shall not be doing anything. You are going to go to the hospital wing as well."

I scowled,

"I'm fine, same issues as always."  
She glowered and I tried to make leaning back against the door look natural. It failed. Minerva snapped behind me,

"Weasley! Both of you help Professor Swift to the infirmary."

They must have been hanging around closer than the others to have attracted her attention.

Poppy was levitating an unconscious Alastor Moody on a floating stretcher as a redhead took an arm each. I scowled at Minerva,

"I wasn't injured, the kids knocked his aim off before he could get me."

"They shouldn't have had to!"

She sighed, softening a big.

"You were faced with the actual human version of your boggart. Go rest for a while."

Wizards took great stock in Boggarts. It was a bit ridiculous, if you pardon the pun. I was taken to the hospital wing, where I resided for several hours, watching Poppy bustle around Alastor. All visitors were met with a locked door and no answer. Injuries were taken instead to Professor Snape, who I was later informed didn't enjoy the job.

I drifted off to sleep after a while, bundled up in as many quilts as possible. The cold just wouldn't _leave_ …

Moody was in no position to teach, and my request to bring back Remus Lupin was rejected. Dumbledore looked out at the rest of the staff room, twinkle gone from his eyes for the moment.

"The board will not allow Remus to return on account of his lycanthropy."

I scowled, that shit against Werewolves would be among the first to go once I had the Ministry at it's knees. Woah, maybe I should tone it down a bit, getting a bit on the crazy side….I sighed,

"What about Black then, wasn't he an auror at one point? Cleared of all charges, participated in a war, would quite happily come running if he heard there was a Death Eater posing as his godsons teacher."

One of the board members who had deigned to show up huffed,

"And what would you know about the alleged Death Eater, eh? No one mentioned the mans' past to you."  
I glared at him, tired of this political bullshit. The force didn't set him on fire, but he did look a bit uncomfortable.

"The face is familiar."

Which is true. All too familiar.

He raised an eyebrow,

"So you consort with Death Eaters?"  
I resisted the urge to leap across the table and strangle him, knowing my limbs wouldn't like the effort it would take.

"Do you _want_ me to punch you in the face? Is that what this is?"

He spluttered for a second but I was saved from his response when Dumbledore raised a hand, twinkle back once more.

"That's enough of that. Marissa raises a good point. All in favor of offering Mister Black the job?"

Snape was scowling fiercely, and after the meeting I caught his shoulder,

"I'm sorry. I know you wanted the position, but I thought it better to have a teacher we know will only want to be temporary while the curse was still over the position."

He huffed,

"There is no 'curse', Swift."

"My names Marissa."

He stalked off without bothering to give a reply. I despaired for ever gaining that guys trust.

I scowled after him and Minerva grabbed my shoulder,

"Don't worry about him, dear, or Perkins. They can be...eh, difficult at times."

I shrugged, careful not to nudge her hand away. Human warmth was brilliant to chase away the cold, though no one ran as hot as animagi did. Minerva wasn't quite on par with Sirius, but was much better than Poppy, whose clinical brushes tended to make no difference.

"Today was one of the few times I was grateful I'm having trouble moving. I would have beaten his head in right then, but figured all the movement required just wasn't worth it."

I could practically hear the eyeroll.

"You tend to lean towards violence, Mara, it's worrying. Violence is not the answer, you know."

I snorted,

"You're perfectly right, Minerva. Violence is the question, the answer just tends to be yes."

I heard a snicker behind me and turned to see the twins trying to be discreet about hanging around us. I rolled my eyes to the heavens for a second before sighing.

"Go on to dinner without me, I have a feeling I know which assignment they're asking about."

The twins were well known to ask questions in my class, and I was infamous for accidentally giving them ideas for pranks. Well, as far as everyone else was concerned it was accidental. The Doctor gave me several ideas to pass on discreetly through lessons, and he delighted in watching the mayhem from the frames of other portraits in the halls.

I waited for Minerva to leave the hall before ducking into an unused classroom, the twins following.

"Well, operation 'Reveal the Imposter' was a success, I trust that you know to keep your mouths shut about it?"

They had the nerve to wave me off,

"Yeah, sure Professor, utter silence-"

"-not a word from us."

"However, we were wondering about the man, Crouch Jr, they're saying."

"You know him."

"Or knew him, at least."

"He was your boggart-"

"-the thing that you fear most."

"We have come to the conclusion-"

"-that since Crouch was known for his history in torture-"

"-and other such...ah activities-"

"-that he was the one who put those scars on you."

I raised an eyebrow, resisting the urge to facepalm. It was a decent conclusion, really, but not the truth. Let them think what they will, I have the perfect cop-out. I sighed,

"Boys, my memory is shit, remember? What you don't know about boggarts are the low level empathic fields they use in order to _find_ your fears. Even if you aren't consciously aware of them. I have no real memories of meeting Barty Crouch Junior, save when he tried to kill me in that classroom. Does that answer your question that wasn't really a question?"

"...no, not really."

"But I guess it will do."

 **~TimeLordOfPie**


	23. Chapter 23

I was right, of course. About many things. Sirius did show up as a teacher, and Harry was thrilled with it, as were most of the Gryffindors. And Crouch ratted out Voldemort's hideout. Of course the Order was reconvened, I wasn't invited to the party, and Voldie got away. This was in some ways a success, and in others scary as hell. How was I to know what was going to happen next with everyone deviating from their previous timelines? Voldemort had been holed up at the Crouch residence, right under Crouch Sr.'s nose. He was facing an inquiry for helping his son escape, the imperious thing, and harboring Voldie, even if that last bit was unintentional. Before they could force any more information out of Crouch Jr he had done a rather tricky bit of wandless dark magic, ending his life. Like those spies in movies when they were caught and chomped on a cyanide pill.

Of course I understood why I hadn't been told, they probably didn't trust me all that much, but it still hurt a bit. Harry knew about it before I did. _That_ stung. And I was starting to suspect that they put one of their Order members to tail me in order to make sure I was truly on their side. Honestly, he couldn't have been more obvious. Sirius Black is not meant for stealth. The first day there after all of the excitement with Crouch and Voldemort died down he had sauntered up to the Staff table at breakfast and flopped into the seat beside me.

"Morning, Mara, aren't you ravishing today?"

I glanced down at my currently skeletal hands clutching a cup of coffee and raised an eyebrow at him,

"Alright, Canine, what do you want from me?"  
He put on an offended look, pressing his hand to his heart dramatically.

"Want from you? Can't I just offer you a compliment?"  
I snorted,

"Flattery will get you nowhere, but chocolate has been known to be a weakness. What do you want?"  
"Ah...do you have any idea where the kids were in their lessons?"  
So he has no idea where to go with this. I could sympathise, really.

"Moody, well, not-Moody, was doing a very hands on approach for them. He got permission to perform the Imperious and have them break out of it."

Sirius scowled down at his bacon,

"Yes, Harry told me about that part. I was furious at first, because come on, dark magic on students? And then it seemed alright because it was _helping_ them, then he had to go and fuck up your health again."

I glared at him,

"There is nothing wrong with my health!"

His deadpan expression had me squirming after a second. I did tend to look like death warmed over, lately. I rolled my eyes, refilling my cup.

"Whatever, it's over now, he's gone. You may want to touch on defensive spells, counter-curses, and with the upper years cover nonverbal magic. I've noticed that they can't so much as go without a 'wingardium leviosa' should they need to get something done."

I heard a snort and glanced over at Minerva, where she laughed for a second before straightening up.

"My dear, just because you seem to never need spells or a wand doesn't mean we can't expect that from the children."

I rolled my eyes,

"Technically I've had, what, a years instruction tops? Come to think of it, that probably helps. I have no memory of having to rely on a wand, therefore it frees me from doing so now."

I thought the theory through for a few absentminded seconds before standing,

"Well, I should head for my classroom. If I don't start now I won't make it there by the time classes start."

I was annoyed at that, I was used to being able to up and outrun anything that took a liking to me, but this helplessness was getting on my nerves. Sirius stood, snagging a roll,

"I'll join you, it's on my way to my classroom anyway."

Life continued like that, with him showing up every time I needed to go somewhere, and had I been a spy it would have been annoying as hell, but I didn't really go anywhere except for meals, class, and my rooms. It could have been that I was closest to his age, baring Snape. That would endear me to him somewhat, rather than hanging out with his former teachers. Or he could still feel bad for having been the one who got me to go along with them fighting at the World Cup. Either way, it got me company and someone very nice and warm to lean on should the walking get too much.

I improved rapidly once Sirius arrived, with all his touchy feely-ness. I had a niggling suspicion that not-Moody had been doing something to me. I had never been as friendly to him as the other Professors, and perhaps I had given myself away as suspecting him early on. Not nearly as much as Snape, but in any case, by the time Halloween rolled around I was capable of walking mostly on my own all the way around the castle, and was down to normal amounts of clothing, save socks. I still had to wear two pairs of socks. The arrival of the other schools was brilliant, though the horses did bring back memories of this one planet that I wasn't welcome on anymore, the Doctor either. Though they _had_ loved Rose... I resolved to keep my distance from them. They can't have the best of tempers if _all_ they drink is whiskey. Durmstrang arrived in the pirate like ship, causing me to snort and mutter,

"It's a pirate's life for me, drink up me hearties, yo ho."

Those weren't even the correct lyrics, as far as I knew, but Sirius snickered anyway, with Minerva sending us a severe look, that lost most of it's edge when her lips twitched ever so slightly. Ludo Bagman and Percy Weasley. I'd gotten his letter saying they were considering letting him take over since he was the only one who had been doing the work apparently. It was thrilling to see him working his way up so effectively, and it was exciting to know that he would stick around this time. Even if he chose to use his position to spy on the Ministry for the Order he would tell them about it first, avoiding the heartbreak. I had managed to leave Sirius behind in the crowd somehow, and saw Karkaroff brush by Harry and freeze. After several seconds I realized no one was going to step in. Moody had done it the first time around, or rather, in the novels at least. I sighed, pushing forwards.

"If we could move along please? The students have a curfew to respect."

Karkaroff glanced at me for a second before sniffing disdainfully and sweeping off. I blithely stuck my tongue out at his back and swept a hand to open the doors wider to let more students escape. I turned to Harry, ignoring the now open mouthed Durmstrang students.

"Come on, kiddo's, let's blow this taco stand."

Ron just stared for a second and I sighed,

"Does no one say that anymore?"  
He shook his head and I waved them,

"Oh, begone. Let me be all old and outdated on my lonesome."

Sirius had popped up by then, watching the students make their way out of the halls, snorting at my comment.

"Old? What are you, like twenty three?"  
I glanced at him, grateful that this was actually sort of true, though it seemed sad if you thought about it too hard.  
"I...don't know actually."

He glanced at me, disbelieving,

"What do you mean, you 'don't know'?"

The students had streamed out into the halls and I didn't have to patrol that night, so I made for the stairs, Sirius close behind me.

"I mean what I said, I don't know how old I am. A year or so ago I woke up in St. Mugnos, and when asked when my birthday was I was unable to tell them. So, I think I'm somewhere near 25 or 26, maybe even 27, but I'm thinking November, somewhere in the teens?"

I genuinely wasn't sure of my age, time on the TARDIS does that to you. It _could_ add up to a year, most likely more actually, but I didn't lose any time in my day to day 'life', so in societies eyes I wasn't aging. But now that I was displaced from that timestream it didn't matter. So, I would have to ask the Doctor how old I was, the current one, not the portrait. And that wasn't happening any time soon.

I escaped from Sirius and into my sitting room, having a quick chat with the Doctor about the possibilities now that the timeline was all jumbled. He was very little help. I don't know if it's because he wouldn't be able to see the tasks, what with being bound to the castle, and being petulant about it, or being genuinely confused by the situation.

All day the students put their names into the goblet, I watched as one Cedric Diggory attempted it, and had to leave. He wasn't slated for death this time, I'd made sure of that. I missed the twins trying to put their names in, but saw them sporting rather healthy beards later in the day as proof of their attempt. Sirius had found it most amusing from where he was once again tailing me. I had tried being as boring as possible to get him to give up at one point, but he was a terrible influence. His constant bid for movement, and his close contact were probably what ensured my return in health, so I could hardly complain. I had yet to allow anyone to remind him I couldn't 'remember' how to fly. I didn't see that ending well.

The staff were all lined up at their table, the students down below, staring at the goblet in wonder, it was just as exciting and magical as the movies and books suggested, and when Harry's name came out of the goblet my heart stopped. I stared at the piece of paper in Dumbledore's hand, mind going blank and still for a single second before it kick started, moving faster than in days. What? Moody was gone, Crouch Sr. wasn't around, Harry wouldn't have done it himself, he looked terrified as he disappeared into that room. The other teachers started to show students out of the hall and I felt Sirius leave to go find Harry. Who? Why? The gig was up. Or...was it?

I burst into the room, glaring around as if daring anyone to protest my presence. I had heard Harry protesting his involvement in it, and I believed him of course. I turned to the Headmaster,

"Give me three days to put it together, three days and I'll tell you who did it."  
There were ideas swirling in my head, and if I could convince the Doctor to help with it then three days would be at an easy pace. Madame Maxime snorted,

"What would you know, child, of the complex magics that could fool the goblet?"  
I raised an eyebrow at her,

"Little, honestly. But I know quite a bit about time, dimensional relations, and jiggery pokery. I can find out."

Dumbledore considered me for a second before nodding,

"Yes, I think you can. It will not help him, I'm afraid, the contract is final."

I scowled,

"Yeah, I'm going to go over that ' _contract'_ with a fine toothed comb later, for now I just want to see who wants him dead enough to stick him in a deadly tournament."

Dumbledore motioned to our two Ministry representatives,

"Ministry personnel will have to be present for whatever magic you work, of course."  
I glared fiercely at Bagman.

"Weasley only."

Bagman opened his mouth to protest and I cut in,

"I'm aware of the fact that you're currently dodging a binding magical contract of your own, Mr. Bagman, my trust in you is nonexistent."

He paled, spluttering,

"Now what nonsense is this! I know nothing of-"

"Stow it, buddy, I have copy somewhere. Stealing money from children is a bit below you, don't you think?"  
I could have his ass on a platter at any time, and he knew it. So he did what any other Ministry official would do. He caved.

"Very well, I believe Mister Weasley will be just fine as a witness, so long as the headmasters of the schools are present as well."  
I nodded,

"Right then, see you in three days. Somebody tell my classes to read chapter thirteen and write three feet about it."

I had no idea what was in chapter thirteen, but it would give them something to do.

I slammed the door to my room behind me, turning to the Doctor,

"Harry's name was in the goblet."

He dropped his Jammy Dodgers, staring at me wide eyed,

"But, Crouch was gone! Both of them!"

I grabbed papers and a pen, throwing aside my other research,

"Exactly. We have three days to throw shit together to see who did it this time. Will you help me?"  
I didn't even need to ask. He had read many many many books on magic and magic theory, there were several portraits that had libraries in their backgrounds that they could interact with. He almost always had a few borrowed books stacked in his frame somewhere.

Zoopy brought food, and was invaluable when questioned about the wards of Hogwarts, letting me know in a very roundabout way that it was more string theory, than Loop Quantum Gravity. Stringy, not loopy, was something we muttered to ourselves for hours, golden threads of the castles magic tangled in my fingers, twisting and untangling, trying to find a purchase through which to add our cobbled together time magic. In the end it took blood and rune stones. Borderline dark, but the common kind that no one really cared about. I cared, it terrified me. Dark magic was a slippery slope.

But after my time was up I had the runic combinations memorized, and the hand motions down. I showered, putting on muggle clothing for ease of movement and heading to the room that had contained the goblet. Percy and the various heads of the schools were present, as well as the rest of the staff. Well, if this failed then I could have _everyone_ know about it. Brilliant. But the Doctor had a heavy hand in planning so it wasn't likely to go downhill. Much.

I opened the small drawstring bag I had, placing the runes around the room, basically ignoring everyone as I did so. Karkaroff attempted to pick one up and I hissed at him, using the training from Madame Vastra to sound distinctly more animal than a human should be capable of.

"Don't touch."

He backed off, but his expression was murderous after the shock wore off.

Once all of the stones were in place I headed to a corner of the room near the other people, the goblet in full view. I didn't even have my wand out and I could hear Karkaroff huffing already.

"Those aren't even _real_ runes, what magic are you going to do with _that_?"

I think it unnerved him when I simply grinned.

"Why, we're going to unravel time!"

Minerva looked alarmed and I shrugged,

"Oh, only a little bit, we won't even be able to interact with anyone, which is a waste, honestly. But we are going to turn back time, using the castle ward magic as a medium. This...might tingle a bit."

I snapped my fingers, against the middle rather than the ring finger, just as Zoopy had taught me, sending tendrils of magic out to zing against the enchantments laid on the very foundations of the castle. Golden lines of various levels of thickness appeared, and I turned to where Harry was sitting under his invisibility cloak, the castle well aware of his presence. I winked before turning back to the others, who were mesmerized by the strings. I slapped Sirius' wrist before he could touch one, scowling.

"Stop that."

I turned back to the lines myself, muttering the incantations needed as quietly as possible, doing whatever I could manage nonverbally. There was really no one in this room that needed to know how to mess with the wards, or time. The strings went bright before solidifying and then there was a flash of white and the scene changed before us. The goblet being revealed. I resisted the urge to sag with relief. The castle let me through. I wasn't sure on it's views on time travel, save the little bit Hermione had gotten up to in her Third year. I summoned the strings again, wishing I could sit down. This all had to be done wandlessly, like a house elf, and it was taking a toll on me. Wandless took a lot out of _anyone_ , enchantments of this magnitude? I was going to sleep for a week if I was allowed to.

I pressed against several strings, turning back to my roots in science and math, remembering the algorithm that the Doctor had pounded into my head over the three days. The pattern was long, and tricky, impossible for the observers to follow, but I flowed through it, having practiced almost nonstop for an insane amount of time. The scene before us sped up, leading to the night before the drawing. No movement. We watched the Weasley's fail in fast forward, and the goblet was left alone again in the fading light. I saw movement in the shadows and slowed it down, letting us all watch a small figure creep closer to the goblet. I watched it wiggle its fingers in a complicated dance, crying all the while before it floated a single piece of parchment into the flames. I sighed,

"Winky. The former house elf of the Crouch family. She was desperate for that family to take her back. If Crouch Jr. had made a request in case of his demise she likely would honor it, despite at the risk of harming a student."

I gathered the strings together rapidly, touching out a different algorithm to take us back to where we began. The lines flashed white once again before fading and I summoned the rune stones to me, dropping them back into the bag.

"There you go, a house elf."

Minerva was pale, turning to Dumbledore desperately,

"Do you think any underage students had the idea to use house elves?"  
I grimaced,

"We just saw it, they didn't. And neither did Harry. I doubt he even knew she was here. Besides, I hear he's got a different house elf, Toppy or something other."

I glanced at the clock, brain screaming for sleep.

"Now, if bending the laws of time to run backwards for you is enough for the day, then I'm going to go to bed."

Poppy rushed forwards automatically, scanning me thoroughly with her wand.

"What's wrong dear?"

I visibly resisted an eyeroll,

"I delved into the pseudo memory of a sentient magical residence, turned back time, and brought a large group of people with me, all without a wand. I'm just tired."

She didn't look convinced, but stepped aside. Sirius came forward, taking my arm without hesitation.

"I'll see you back to your rooms."

He practically dragged me out of there, slowing only when we got closer to my chambers.

"You are alright, aren't you? Harry would be furious if you hurt yourself proving his innocence."

I didn't hold back the eyeroll,

"I am perfectly fine. And you can come out of hiding, Potter."

The shimmer of the invisibility cloak falling caught Sirius' eye and he sighed explosively.

"Of course. She could have been bluffing you know."

Harry just gave him a look that was pure teenager.

"She saw me when we were in the Great Hall, I think the wards told her I was there."

"Right-o, kiddo. Somebody let me go. I need sleep."

Sirius started walking again, Harry beside us, folded invisibility cloak in his hands.

"Do you really think you can get him out of the contract if you could see it?"  
I shrugged with my free shoulder,

"I doubt it, honestly. My background with law is being on the wrong side of it. Broke into more banks than you've ever been in, and broke _out_ of even more prisons than that. If I find something it will be a titchy little technicality that I just don't see Crouch Sr. making. Sorry, kid."

He had an air of gloom about him so I bumped his shoulder lightly with my fist.

"The rules say teachers can't help, but they also say minors can't compete. I'm not much for rules if you haven't noticed. Ever need help I'm sure I can swing it. Bail money, a convenient disappearance of bothersome people, the sudden desire of a certain reporter to jump in a lake…"

He smiled slightly so I counted it as a win. By then we were at my rooms and I was left to my own devices. I got the privilege of explaining to the Doctor that one of his favorite little house elves was the one who had screwed with our plans.

 **~TimeLordOfPie**


	24. Chapter 24

I either earned major respect points with the Hufflepuffs, or got on their eternal shit list. The first one I saw wearing the stupid badges, which admittedly looked different from what the book and movie both suggested, I lost it. The badges were yellow and black, Puff colors, rather than Slytherin. That made it a little bit worse. I gave them a rousing lecture in the middle of the hallway about loyalty and their farce of it, abandoning a student of their own school who was already being screwed over by the entire tournament in the first place, and then topped it all off with a helping of shame for abandoning the prized principles of their own house. Cedric Diggory's hearty agreement got me places, I'm sure. I handed out a few detentions with Filch, which they actually seemed relieved about. They'd heard of the detention the Slytherin got from me. They were in no hurry to join him.

The whiny bastard had complained about it to everyone, not that I particularly cared. Rewriting famous Muggle documents into Gobbledygook with only a token dictionary and no magic allowed had apparently grated on him. It didn't help that I blasted muggle christmas carols on an old record player I'd convinced Minerva to loan me for the day. I'd caught him absentmindedly humming jingle bell rock a few times in the halls. Not that he told anyone what he was actually doing for his punishment. It was tame really, just annoying to someone of his sensibilities. He simply refused to relate the 'horror' of it. I could have made him scrub the floors with a toothbrush or something, though I was saving the idea of making a particularly rowdy student be helper to the House Elves for a special occasion and the perfect victim. They had to be stupid enough to not realize they could take advantage of it, horrible enough the House Elves would help me, and their family just uninfluential enough for me to get away with it.

The weighing of the wands came to pass, and I decided I wasn't going to allow Skeeter access to Harry. I was barely in time, hearing Bagman agree wholeheartedly. I saw her lay a hand on Harry to drag him to the broom closet and cleared my throat, arms crossed. She halted, raising an eyebrow,

"Can I help you?"

I refused to back down, motioning to Harry,

"Even if he had given his consent to this, which he hasn't, you haven't cleared it with a teacher, or a guardian. Even discarding all of that I find it wholly inappropriate for you to drag him into a broom closet. A silencing spell would have done it, but even that's pointless. What does it matter if we hear what you're going to say, hm? It will end up in print either way. And the noise in the room is negligible at best."

She glared at me, huffing.

"The people have a right to know-"

"And Harry has the right to keep his private business _private_. If you want a statement then go through the _proper_ channels. I would _hate_ for the Prophet to be accused of libel and sued or something of the sort."

Her eyes glittered dully,

"Oh, I doubt we'd face that, our reputation precedes us."

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes.

"Indeed it does. Which is why I must ask that you unhand my student."

There was fire in me that I rarely used for intimidation nowadays, fire that I was imitating, having learned beside the last of the Time Lords. I didn't let that side of me out much, what with only students around to frighten into behaving. Rita Skeeter though...I hated her when I read the books. And she wasn't shaping up much in person.

She dropped Harry's arm as if she had been burned, and took a breath as if to insist that she get _some_ sort of interview when Dumbledore arrived.

The wands were weighed, Ollivander doing his creepy thing as per usual.

When it came time for pictures I glared at Rita until she desisted from being so pushy, the cameraman getting the same treatment. Cedric was front and center, seemingly the only one of the champions who didn't mind holding that position. Madime Maxims shadow was an issue until I temporarily charmed it away. That got me a few stares but I just shrugged. No need to let them know that I'd spent hours searching for some sort of protection against Vashta Nerda. The nightmares didn't leave me be once the mood struck me, right up until I found the obscure thing and mastered it. The charm didn't last long, but it was enough for my peace of mind, and the picture.

Sirius stuck with Harry as much as possible, and without the article there was less bullying abound. I'd like to take some credit for that, I think my speech knocked sense into a few people at the very least. I found myself plotting ways for him to get passed a dragon, now that Moody wasn't around to push him in the right direction. Sure, the broom thing had worked fine, but it was incredibly dangerous, and surely not the only option.

Now that I had found a way to access the wards of the castle in a manner only slightly inferior to that of the Headmaster I found myself abusing the talent. Rita Skeeter, the moment she tripped the wards, animagus form or no, suddenly found me hovering near her. I managed to quash all important talk before she could hear anything, and several times stopped her from getting into any of the common rooms. If I kept popping out of nowhere to 'convince' her to leave the grounds then I would probably end up as her boggart. The thought amused me a little too much to be healthy.

The first Hogsmeade visit I spent randomly appearing whenever she wanted to talk to someone. I had a short conversation with her where I silently and wandlessly charmed all of her quills. I met Harry in the Three Broomsticks, not hiding under his cloak, which I wondered about until I realized he and Ronald couldn't be at odds, I'd proved that he hadn't done it, their friendship was saved. Well, that required calculation on my part. I leaned onto the table with the trio, grinning unashamedly. I'd already seen the three of them avoiding Skeeter at all costs, smart kids.

"Just thought you'd like to know that our _dear_ resident reporter has had all of her quills charmed to only write love ballads about goblins. Strange that, _no idea_ who might have done it. Poor dear hasn't even noticed yet."

Hermione looked torn between amusement and slight trepidation.

"Isn't that illegal?"

I snorted,

"Charming a quill? Nope. The niffler that managed to find it's way into her quarters? Meeeeh."

Ron snorted Butterbeer out of his nose, and Harry grinned,

"Thank you Professor. She's downright frightening sometimes."

I shrugged,

"No need to thank me, it's my pleasure really. I hate the press here, almost as much as the Ministry honestly. Only thing I read anymore is the Quibbler, good for a laugh and sometimes you find nuggets of truth among what some think to be insanity. As good a cloak for truth telling as any I suppose…"

I saw Hagrid approaching out of the corner of my eye and sighed,

"Well, I should really go, then. Hagrid doesn't know where that niffler went to yet, and you didn't hear it from me."

I was one of the professors that was tasked with helping the dragon tamers, since my health had been cleared I was the youngest and most physically capable of fast movement, right there beside Snape, but as a potions master he was obviously more valuable than I was from a strategic standpoint. It was a pity that I had to abandon my plans for the Gringotts heist, even if it was just for the night. I was given a crash course in the stunning spells they used, but mostly I spent my time avoiding the flames and protecting the trees against the beast's wrath. There wasn't much that I could do, I wasn't very far from the edge of the wards, but it was enough to help me up the power I could use, Hogwarts being a natural well for that kind of thing. It helped keep them pinned down, though there had been an incident with the horntail. I scowled at it for a while, muttering a lullaby I'd heard during my travels under my breath. It was in Silurian, and thus the translation matrix took care of it for me, the lizard like language apparently appealing to Dragons. The Doctor would be thrilled to know this. The Horntail was, of course, still difficult to get a handle on, but we finally managed. I was able to let go of my hold on the wards, feeling Harry hiding in the trees. I sent a tired smile his way before reporting in with the head of the Dragon Tamers. Charlie asked after my health briefly but I managed to fend him off and escape. He let me go with a sympathetic nod, I wasn't trained for this, just loaned for the night.

I passed by Karkaroff as he was searching for Harry and rolled my eyes,

"It's just me, back from risking my neck for God knows why. I swear, the Doctor would keep one and put it in a fuzzy sweater if he could."

I was rambling a bit, but I managed to keep Karkaroff away from Harry, who I could hear following me. It was probably somewhere in my job description that I should be busting him and assigning detention or something, but he honestly didn't deserve it. I got back to my rooms, hearing Harry pass by me on the way to the tower. I sighed,

"Remember, I'm here to help."

He paused and I swept into my room, collapsing into a chair. The Doctor was once again vibrating in his frame,

"Dragons, Mara! Real live Dragons!"

I ended up showing a little illusion of them, a complicated charm that sucked the rest of the energy out of me. I woke up the next morning in my armchair, with my back aching. But the Doctor had seen his dragons, so it was worth it.

Sirius had likely already explained to Harry about the Conjunctivitis curse that had ended disastrously when actually used in the tournament. I was worried about how to introduce the method he had utilized so effectively in the books, but I shouldn't have. Hermione approached me after barely a week, waiting until the class emptied and holding Harry and Ron back with her. I closed the door with a thought, raising an eyebrow,

"Can I help you?"  
"The only curse Sirius could think of would end disastrously. What have you got?"

Well, Hermione was blunt today. She looked determined, though Ron looked proud of her for having managed to talk like that to a Professor.

I settled onto my desk like usual, legs crossed under me.

"Well, I have a bit. The things that might be in the range of possibility for a Fourth year number very few. Not that I lack confidence in your ability, but I would probably lose my job for teaching you some of it. So, what are your strengths, Potter?"  
I watched him struggle for a bit before I rolled my eyes, deciding that unlike with Moody it was obvious why I would care, I'd known him longer and taught him. My student, my responsibility. Not getting killed or maimed on my watch.

"Quidditch, Harry, you tend to be good at Quidditch. All that dodging and those hairpin maneuvers. These dragons more than likely will be confined to an arena. Therefore, their flying shall be limited if they can at all."

His face lit up for a second before he realized something.

"But Professor, I can't bring my broom to the task."

I hmm-ed.

"Hey, Hermione what are you guys learning in Charms these days?"  
The change in subject confused Ron and Harry but Hermione brightened,

"Summoning charms, Harry you can summon the broom!"

I grinned,

"Why, excellent idea Miss Granger."

I allowed the chance for practice during my class. The three of them had dropped Trelawney's class for my own, which switched up the timeline a bit, but was extremely good for my ego. It was probably the only reason they were allowed to quit the class, because they were able to replace it with another elective they'd already taken the introductory course in. I assigned projects involving medieval knights and fantasy novels that had a lot of the girls swooning over their projects. If the trio were summoning pencils across the desk instead then all power to them. I knew they wanted to skip the class that would be this period, and it ended up being mine, I might as well allow them the practice they would have done anyway. They were all three quite good at it once the task rolled around.

I was able to infiltrate the champions tent before the first task, determined to keep up my beetle watching. I really loathe that woman.

 **~TimeLordOfPie**


	25. Chapter 25

Rita avoided the Champions tent, probably because she saw me lurking nearby. She instead stuck to the stands, her now uncharmed quills going a mile a minute even before the action had begun.

It was textbook, or well, fiction book. The first task went as it did exactly, no deviations, except I was in the crowd hiding with the rest of the staff when the dragon did a flyby. Of course I may have used my future knowledge to win big in the semi-illegal betting ring, but I'm told that all's fair in love and war. The staff knew about the parties in the various common rooms, but nothing was done about it. I resisted the urge to drop a hint about the egg, knowing they would all get it eventually. Though I did terrorize Rita Skeeter quite a bit. She tried to get the champions to tell how far along they were with their clues and I started to pop up behind her no matter who she was talking to, not just protecting Harry. I thought Krum was going to hug me once. Rita had been almost hanging off him, asking questions about his career with Quidditch and gossip involving females rather than about the tournament. I took great pleasure in appearing behind her using a secret passage behind a tapestry that I had learned from the twins. Despite her stint in Slytherin she was unaware of it, jumping out of her skin when I touched her on the shoulder and suggested she had better things to do than harass students during school hours. I waved to the Bulgarians before vanishing back behind the tapestry, having left my class with Nearly Headless Nick as a substitute while I tortured the journalist. I found the practice of using the ghosts perfectly fair seeing as the other resident history teacher was one himself.

With my health better and the threat of Winky and Crouch gone I was able to concentrate on my animagus transformation. The Doctor passed on some effective meditation techniques and the twins usually knew the best places to get what in Hogsmeade so illicit potions brewing got easier. I didn't even have to use Myrtle's bathroom, having a private one of my own. There were dual sinks, the last resident having been a married couple, and I sacrificed one of these to brewing. If anything got weird on me then the Doctor could leave his frame and hunt me down wherever I was in the castle. He found the breaking the rules thing exciting, probably because if we were caught he wouldn't be punished since he was made of paint. Frankly the only rules I had to worry about were the actual _law_. Hogwarts Professors were allowed to brew whatever the hell they wanted in their off time, though it was sort of traditional to hand it down to the resident potions master. However, animagus potions are more than slightly illegal.

I felt a 'disturbance in the force' when Rita Skeeter entered the grounds, and almost always snuck off to mess with her. It was more a hobby than a chore after a while. When she started to head for Hagrid's hut I dropped my research, leaving Zoopy to stir the cauldron every five minutes and 37 seconds in my absence, he was only too thrilled to oblige. I managed to make it there before Skeeter really got going, only just asking about what the creatures were. Funnily enough Draco Malfoy was helping with the creatures, his robes slightly singed and a bit of blood smeared on his chin. In the books he hid from the Skrewts. Did I cause such a change? Thought for later. I dropped my disillusionment charm, grinning like a spectre directly to her right.

"Rita, darling. Lovely to see you again but I do believe you were banned."

She jumped dropping her bag in the process. She scowled at me as she picked it up.

"Marissa. How nice to see you as well. When _will_ I get that interview about the lovely Time Mistress?"

That damned nickname. They had published what I'd done to clear Harry's name, basically saying that I had fiddled with experimental time magic with Ministry personnel on hand to observe. Someone came up with the name and it stuck. I'd choked on my oatmeal when I first read it, images of the female master fluttering in my head, as well as female Time Lord in general. I'd been sick with worry over what the Doctor would think but he found it hilarious. I was the Time Lord of witches, and now I had the name to go with. I kept the smile firmly in place.

"Over my dead body, my dear. Now, I think it's about time you left."

Hagrid had been warming to her, which would have ended disastrously. He seemed to realize he misjudged the reporter when all the kids sighed with relief as I led her away. After she had apparated from outside the front gates and I was sure she wasn't going to come back in beetle form I returned to my classroom, arriving just as it filled with students. A double with the fourth year Gryffindors and Slytherins. Fun fun. I had half a mind to transfigure some armor and have their exam before Christmas be a jousting match, with the match ups chosen at random. I'd have to run it by their heads of house before I got permission. I didn't see Snape allowing me to dress his kids like tin cans and let them beat each other up. Pity.

I did make them watch the 1957 version of Don Quixote, and nearly slipped up with A Knight's Tale. That wouldn't come out until 2001, but I had it on my laptop. I would have copied over to the film needed for the projector, but caught myself before I went through the effort.

I was at the staff table laughing over my coffee at the morose looks on some of the students faces when they learned about the ball. Minerva raised an eyebrow at me,

"And what is so funny?"

I motioned with my cup at a particularly distraught 2nd year who was desperate to go but didn't have a date and also couldn't dance if her wails were anything to go by.

"The poor midgets. It's like those awkward school dances or the weird balls with foreign dignitaries, always hated those."  
Sirius perked up,

"Really, _you_ at a ball?"

I rolled my eyes,

"Yes, yes, it was part of my job."

"And what was your job again?"

I shrugged, realising I had messed up with revealing even this much.

"Experimenting with the fabric of time, space, and reality. I also helped toppled a few tyrannical governments while I was at it, though honestly I didn't do much more than legwork most of the time."

I sipped my coffee in the silence following that statement before sighing,

"But that's over, I can amuse myself watching those who actually have to worry about going to this shindig."

Minerva huffed,

"You shall be going to this 'shindig', Mara. Teachers have to attend, and they have to dance."  
I froze, turning to stare at her.

"I'm sorry, I think I have a bout of the plague scheduled for that weekend, I'll have to get back to you."

Sirius snickered and I elbowed him lightly in the gut,

"Shut it, this includes you too."

He elbowed me right back,

"Pureblood, remember? I've dealt with things like this since I could walk."  
I huffed,

"Oh stow it. But I'm not dancing with anyone from the Ministry, the urge to strangle might become too much."

I went back to my coffee, but a thought occurred, causing me to sacrifice a mouthful to the god of spit takes. I turned to Minerva in horror, ignoring her sudden alarm,

"Minerva I don't _own_ a dress!"

She just stared at me for a second before she started laughing. I stared at her, along with most of the other people in the hall. I nudged her shoulder, expression almost pained.

"I'm serious!"

The man next to me snorted,

"No you're not, I am!"

I elbowed him without looking, causing only a brief pause in his snickering.

I whined pitifully,

"Minerva, I don't even know where to go to buy a dress! Or how really, I've never-"

She stopped laughing, giving me a funny look.

"If you've been to a ball before then you must have gone dress shopping!"

Noooo, that's what the TARDIS wardrobe was for. I shifted uneasily,

"Well, no, I never picked out what I was wearing. Someone else usually did depending on where we were, and I don't exactly remember the process."  
Sirius abruptly stopped his laughter, apparently realizing what I had accidentally implied. My 'memory loss' had nothing to do with it, the stuff had just happened in a blur of excitement and death defying situations. But to them they had been laughing at my 'condition' and were awkwardly attempting to recover. I decided to help them out a bit. I sighed, setting my coffee down.

"I'll just wear normal robes and patrol, getting onto couples and generally ruining the fun."

Minerva shook her head, expression stern,

"Of course you won't, there will be plenty of time to find you something to wear. The next Hogsmeade weekend should suffice. Take a friend and pick something out."

I couldn't figure out how to tell her that there was no one to take with me. I suddenly and violently longed for home. I hadn't in a while, but it hit me out of the blue, slamming down on me and weighing on my chest until it was slightly difficult to breathe. I let the conversation pass over me for a while until I could slip away, not trusting myself to speak.

The Doctor wasn't in his frame as I passed through the sitting room, and I checked on the potion, which was simmering lightly just like it had been for the past few days, before falling into bed fully clothed. For the first time in a while I cried myself to sleep, thinking of my _home_ , the TARDIS, my apartment, the workplace I was just starting to tolerate before I got stuck here, the dog at the kennel that I had been thinking of getting when I realized the Doctor was phasing me out as a companion, the few people in UNIT who spoke with me every now and then, the government officials who would nod to me in recognition. That last bit wasn't exactly _missed_ persay, but the influence I had would have been nice here. Made saving everyone ten times easier.

As it was I was stuck away from my old life, my old time. That had been an old fear of mine, getting abandoned somewhen random and unfamiliar by the Doctor. I knew he wouldn't do it on purpose, but if he died and his reincarnation didn't like me it was possible, if not probable. Now I was in the 90's with little to no plans for my actual life other than change the plots of life that used to be novels. When had I started assuming my 'life' was over? When did this all become a job to get to the next canon event? My duty to help? When had I given up on myself?

 **~TimeLordOfPie**


	26. Chapter 26

The Doctor, absolute genius that he is, broke the science secret behind being an animagus. The real way that DNA changes, how it allows one to ripple to another form and keep their human minds, then ripple back without the use of a wand or spell. It was the perfect thing to drag me out of my temporary state of depression.

When he wrote it all out on his painted chalkboard, that I didn't bother asking where he'd gotten it from, it made a stupid amount of sense. But if someone hadn't taken advanced genetics, physics, chemistry, and biology throughout 8 years of college then the knowledge would be practically useless to them. It sped up the understanding of the animagus process, and I figured I would have it by Christmas. From there it would just take practice for speedy transformation. My first try I would have Zoopy standing by to reverse any damage I might do to myself. House Elf magic being more potent and power than wizards magic he would be the perfect backup.

It was the last week of school before Christmas break, and some of the other teachers gave up on teaching, instead letting them do their own thing. I didn't want to make them do busy work, but I also wasn't fond of letting them goof off too much. Therefore I dredged up as much Muggle Christmas stuff as I could find and transfigured the rest. I had them watch the 1966 cartoon version of How the Grinch Stole Christmas, and then spent a lot of time explaining that no, that really didn't happen. The closer it had gotten to Christmas I had handed out a project to the upper years called 'Secret Santa' where they had to get a gift that was less than two galleons. We would have a drawing for who got what, though they weren't allowed to put their names on it, so it was all a mystery. I checked over all of it first to make sure it was appropriate, sending Fred and George back to the drawing board several times. I did allow them to give joke products, just not things that would automatically prank the opener.

It was a big hit, as were some of the other Christmas-y things I had them do, though I had to have a mini history lesson over them before we could continue. I also spent a week covering Hanukkah, Bodhi day, and the celebrations of several other religions. I chose no favorites. The kids did though, Christmas won hands down, most likely because it was familiar. My fourth year Gryffindors and Slytherins were exchanging their Secret Santa gifts, where they had known who they were buying for, a person chosen randomly and the gift pre-approved as non-violent, and I was working some numbers for the animagus theory. There was a calculator spell, similar to _tempus_ , called _calculo_ that brought shimmering numbers into the air. However, these numbers would stay put, allowing you to tap them and run rapid calculations. It was basic, not allowing you to use scientific notation or roots of numbers, nor raise anything to the power of whatever, but it was simple and effective. The numbers were running differently than I had assumed, and I heard a crash, glancing up to see that someone had hugged a friend fiercely for a gift only to be told it was someone else who'd gotten it. I ignored that, turning back to my problem. If the nucleotides behaved in this particular pattern naturally, but then magic was added causing this anomaly, then the agitation would of course cause this behavior, which could also mean-

"Sweet baby Jesus, that can't be right."

I shuffled papers wildly, not caring when some flew off the desk. I found what I was looking for, matching it to another one.

"Holy science, Batman, I think we're onto something."

A hand entered my vision, holding a stack of paper they must have gathered from the floor. I looked up to see Hermione, looking concerned.

"Everything alright, Professor?"  
I grinned,

"Oh, just dandy, really. Found something I wasn't even aware I was looking for."

I looked around the room, seeing a rather confused Ronald Weasley eyeing Draco Malfoy who was immersed in what looked like a copy of the Hobbit. I raised an eyebrow before glancing at Hermione,

"I'm guessing that was your doing?"

She nodded and I gave her a thumb up.

"Well done, creating another Tolkienist on the sly. Out of one of the sly, rather."

I smirked at my own joke before sliding all of my papers into one pile, Hermione had yet to leave my desk, and the others were still examining their gifts. She pointed at the papers,

"What are you working on? I mean, if you don't mind sharing."

I shrugged,

"Oh, illegal things. Very very illegal things."

I was completely serious but she rolled her eyes,

"I was just asking because it looked like Muggle science rather than anything magical. I thought it was Arithmancy at first, but then it started looking more like biology the deeper you go."

I nodded,

"Ten points to Gryffindor, lovely observation skills, Miss Granger."

She blushed fiercely before pushing onwards,

"So it _is_ science?"  
I nodded, settling back in my chair with a sigh,

"Yup, I have a Bachelors in Chemistry and a Masters in another science."

Xeno-biology through a course the Doctor set up for me. Online through time via TARDIS net, neat as hell. I got to study aliens and became invaluable as a UNIT consultant. All that extra cash was gone, and the degree near useless without aliens, but I felt proud for knowing it all anyway.

Her eyes widened,

"But you're a witch!"

I raised an eyebrow at her, tilting my head in bemusement.

"Yes, Miss Granger, indeed I am."

She flushed once again, the red rushing back into her face.

"What I meant was that I didn't know that witches or wizards bothered to seek degrees or further their education in the muggle world after they've finished school in the Wizarding one."

I shrugged,

"I study rather delicate things, Miss Granger. Magic _is_ a branch of science, in a way, in another way it is sentient, a being in and of itself. Science can be used to further magic just as magic could push science to new heights but this dam-er, darn muggle hating campaign started by Voldemort has dragged down progress."

I reached for my coffee cup before sitting back in my chair and continuing, letting the warmth seep into my hands.

"My theory there is that Voldemort did so much to separate the two that were growing closer together after the second world war _because_ it was making them stronger. United we stand, divided we fall."

There was a strange look on her face and I had the sudden thought that perhaps she believed me to be crazy. She wouldn't be the first. But it would be heart-breaking to have an idol like Hermione Granger to think me a nut. So I ignored the expression, gathering all of my papers. When I looked back up the expression was gone, but she was still there, now looking slightly worried,

"Is there something on your mind, Professor? We were thinking...you've been looking very distracted lately and…"

I floundered for an excuse that didn't include dark lords, magic, or breaking laws, ending up with my least worrying but most depressing thought.

"I don't own a dress."

She just stared blankly for a second,

"What?"

I sighed, shoving all of my papers into one giant stack before continuing.

"Min-erm, Professor McGonagall has informed me I am required to attend the Yule Ball, and that I must wear appropriate attire. I do not own a dress. I was told to just grab a friend and go to a dress store but...I am sorely lacking in the friend department after my little displacement."

I picked up the papers, standing up.

"So I am resigning myself to walking in the door and picking the first item on the rack, no matter if it is puce and size 14XL."

I expected Hermione to grimace and agree with me about dress shopping but she looked horrified, however Draco Malfoys expression took the cake. He had been approaching my desk for some reason, and I had failed to notice him until the last moment. His distress was mildly amusing, especially since it was practically mirrored on Hermione's face as well. I could see why people ship the two of them. Then again, I can also see why some would pronounce Draco as flaming. He struggled for words for a second before scooting closer to the desk, voice lowered to avoid being heard by the rowdy group behind him.

"You can't _do_ that!"

I raised an eyebrow at the both of them, wondering how Hermione would react when she realized who she was agreeing with.

"And why not, Mister Malfoy?"

He struggled for words, and I wondered how many times that made it for me rendering him speechless with my nonsense.

"Because it's unseemly!"

I snorted,

"Unseemly? That would imply I have a reputation to protect. I'm considered a nutter by most everyone."

Hermione looked taken aback,

"That's not true!"

I rolled my eyes,

"I'm not deaf, Miss Granger, I hear them talking. Granted, sometimes they sound almost fond, but I'm not a pet. If they're going to treat me like one then I'll just deal with things my own way. And if that just so happens to be by wearing the most repulsive excuse for clothing that I can find then so be it."

They cringed simultaneously and I rolled my eyes yet again, surprised I hadn't eye-rolled myself into yet another dimension by this point. I raised my voice over the racket,

"Class dismissed, have a wonderful break and a very Merry Christmas!"

I got a few pointed 'Happy' Christmas' wishes as always, but let them slide. Draco and Hermione were still at my desk and I glanced pointedly at the door.

"Did you two need help with something?"  
Draco looked torn but one look at Hermione still hanging around had him sweeping out the door, cronies following. I wondered for a bit what he had wanted from me but dismissed it to watch Hermione struggle with her decision. Eventually she wished me a 'Happy Christmas' and left as well.

I took my new findings straight back to my rooms, throwing the door open and slamming it behind me, getting the Doctor's attention quickly. He was reading a book about merpeople by the looks of it, closing it when he saw my expression.

"What happened?"  
I waved the stack of papers in the air, grinning madly,

"We didn't only figure out the key to the animagus transformation, it's the key to _all_ types of transformation!"

It took him a second but once he got it he let out a whoop, throwing up his fez. I nodded enthusiastically,

"The cure! We can find the cure to Lycanthropy!"

We talked theory for almost three hours straight before the Doctor forced me to a halt, expression falling.

"Do we have time at the moment, though? With all of the other schemes you have running right now where would this even rank?"

I thought for a second,

"Well, keep Harry and the rest of the kids safe is numero uno, with Horcruxes coming in second. That includes the bank heist. The takeover of the Ministry is third, with all personal research after that. The cure goes above personal research definitely, and I've managed to get enough contacts through Percy that the Ministry bit is running itself for now, spreading like a virus. The Horcruxes are essential for Voldemort's defeat, and one aspect of that research goes hand in hand with 'keep Harry safe'. But with the cure we can improve quality and duration of life for so many people who have been considered second class citizens for far too long. Oh, there's also some strategic value, some of the wolves who worked for Voldie only joined because they thought he had a cure, I think. Perhaps that was the first time around, though. Either way, it definitely ranks pretty highly. It's not like I can rob Gringotts while school is going on, so that has to wait. I get to learn to Apparate this summer, so after that my Horcrux gathering begins, if I can finally get some Basilisk venom from my contact in Knockturn. It irks me to have that so close, but being unable to get to it."

I grinned suddenly, glancing at the Doctor,

"Do you think there's a way to to use the translation matrix to get Parseltongue? Or to mimic it? Ron did an impression of it in the last movie, but I can't for the life of me remember how it sounded in the second movie-"

The Doctor immediately made a hissing noise, looking smug. I rolled my eyes,

"Of course you memorized how to open the Chamber of Secrets. Why the hell didn't you tell me before?"  
"I didn't want you wandering into that giant death trap! How do you expect to get out of it without the phoenix express, eh? Not like you can fly a broom, apparition wards prevent you using that even if you did learn it, and portkeys have the same problem."

I sighed, about to concede when Zoopy popped his head in from the bathroom,

"Miss Mara's potion be almost done now!"

I nodded and thanked him before turning to stare at him, wide eyed.

"Apparition wards. They don't stop House Elves."

I turned to Zoopy, who was now standing nervously in the doorway to the bathroom,

"Zoopy, do you know where the Chamber of Secrets is?"  
He shook his head, ears flapping and I shrugged,

"Makes sense, in the movie the place looked grungy, if the elves knew where it was it would be spotless."

The elf's chest puffed at the compliment and I hesitated before continuing.

"If I told you how to find it do you think you could get me out of there, if I took you in with me? It can be dark and scary, and there's sort of a corpse of a terrifying creature at the bottom, so don't agree too quickly."

He barely hesitated, ears flapping wildly as he nodded. I sighed, looking over at the lock on the wall before shrugging.

"I suppose we'll go late tonight when I know the patrols on that floor are finished. You have until three in the morning to teach me a word in Parseltongue, Doctor! Let's get cracking!"

It took almost all of our time for me to get up to the Doctor's standards. I disillusioned myself, and Zoopy went invisible in that special way that only House Elves can. We made our way to the second floor girls bathroom, Myrtle nowhere to be found. I hissed and the sinks slid open, causing me to punch the air in triumph while I was still invisible. I looked at the slide, wondering if there wasn't a more dignified way down there. Surely Salazar Slytherin hadn't used a slide to get down, and I didn't see teenage Voldemort lowering himself to that either. But sadly I have only one word in my Parseltongue repertoire, so no experimenting for me. I slid to the bottom, hearing Zoopy follow me down the slide, making a high pitched squeaking noise when we hit the bottom. I managed to find my way to the snake, and a now visible Zoopy looked ready to faint. I took several fangs, putting them in one of my pockets, being stupidly careful with them. I doubt there's a phoenix nearby ready, or even willing, to weep for me.

Zoopy apparated us out the moment I said I was ready to go, I blinked and was stumbling around in the bathroom at the top. I was faced with a new problem. How the fuck to close this thing. Eventually it was Zoopy who managed it, snapping his fingers and doing something House Elf-y that he couldn't really explain. The second after the sink was back in place I was in my living room. I stared for a second before the Doctor cleared his throat,

" _Well_ , did you get them or not?"

I grinned, holding up my wand and floating the fangs out of my pocket. I wasn't going to risk just sticking my hand in there. I laid them out on the desk that was cleared for once in its existence.

"I'll go get the diadem. I kind of want to wait and go on a Horcrux destruction spree when I have all the ones possible, but it would be careless to assume something won't take away my access to the room or that Voldie won't try to remove it what with all the changes to the timeline."

The Doctor bobbed his head,

"And then once you can apparate this summer you can get the ring, while being wary of the flesh eating curse, don't forget to break that, and then we'll have a hallow!"

I nodded, pausing at the door before opening it.

"Do you think...would I be able to see those who died in a different dimension? A different timeline? Or would it bring forth this dimension's version of them, or try to and fail because they aren't dead?"

The Doctor was silent for a few seconds, staring down at the fez he was fiddling with in his lap.

"I don't know Mara. Maybe if I were alive, or there in person, no matter which _me_ it was I would be a better help, but at the moment...I'm not at my best."  
I'd known that even magic probably couldn't perfectly re-create a consciousness as complex as the Doctors based on one hazy memory, one second hand hazy memory, and a small ritual. But I had hoped.

The diadem died with a screech of fury, and I touched into the wards briefly to be sure that they hadn't alerted the headmaster to the sudden death of Dark Magic in his castle. Nothing. Zoopy's block had done it's job. My rooms were technically off the grid so to speak. Sweet.

I had simply dripped the venom onto it, burning away the dark magic and stopping when it started to hint at eating away at the crown itself. It was safe to put on someones head, I'd managed to do several scans, Zoopy helping me, and found there was nothing left of Lord Voldemort in it. I could keep that for later use. The Lost Diadem of Ravenclaw was either worth a hippogriffs weight in gold or a stupidly valuable gift. It could go to Hogwarts, though if I gave it to Luna her dad might avoid the dangerous exploding horns…

In any case there were now two horcruxes destroyed, five to go.

 **~TimeLordOfPie**


	27. Chapter 27

I'd already known the theory behind what form a patronus takes, what with the possibility of it being your inner self, a near unchangeable love, or possibly the one whose memory you use often enough, or if the memory of them is strong enough your patronus takes their form. But I hadn't realized the Doctor was the fox. It makes sense, him being my best friend, only friend really, save the other companions or former companions I met with occasionally. He was a big part of my life, he made me who I am. It would make sense for him to be my patronus, my _protector_ , and for his animal self to be a fox. Wily, cunning, slippery, intelligent, quick to escape, soft and fluffy hair, penchant for red accessories. Though foxes can't choose if they have red fur or grey or whatever, I suppose...either way, he was the fox.

I took the potion, a few days before Christmas when I was sitting alone in my rooms. The potion would let me connect with the animal inside myself, and hopefully it would agree to come _out_ of hiding. Sometimes it took several tries for people to convince their animals out of hiding for that important, initial transformation. It was part of the reason Animagus were so rare, they tended to be unable to convince themselves it was worth the physical risk for a skill they didn't find particularly useful since they had to be registered. The potion was often needed several times, and it was a pain in the ass to make or find ingredients for. All in all I was glad I made several doses for it. I wasted the initial session making first contact and marveling over the mistake. No wonder meditation to find my inner fox was failing miserably. I _had_ no inner fox.

I glanced at the Doctor, who was also reeling in shock. He was grinning a bit though,

"I thought I'd never know what my form would be."

I scoffed,

"If you'd told me you wanted to know I would have figured out a way."

He waved me off,

"It worked out, didn't it? In any case you have to wait twenty-four hours to try the potion again, why don't you venture out, actually eat with people."

I grimaced,

"No way, there's a flu going around still."

I had started limiting my contact with people several days before term ended, the many sick children scaring me away from my usual roaming sort of teaching style. I kept several cans of wizarding Lysol under my desk, ready to whip out and spray freaking everywhere the moment anyone sneezed, coughed, or spoke in a throaty manner. Most found it amusing, some annoying, and a few were grateful. My classroom smelled unbearably like lemons, even days after I stopped my maniacal cleaning because students stopped entering. But I had gotten away without so much as a sniffle so far, so I was feeling pretty victorious.

The Doctor rolled his eyes, slumping in his chair,

"I got you vaccinated from practically everything that exists everywhere from the beginning of time to the end of it, and I got it done right at the beginning of our travels. You are practically invincible when it comes to bugs, unless it's something they never found a cure for."

I held up my wand, raising an eyebrow pointedly,

"Did you vaccinate me for _magical_ bugs?"

"...no."  
"Thought not. But thank you. For the other stuff. I wasn't aware you did that."  
"Of course I do, I take you puny little humans everywhere in the galaxy, I'm not going to leave you unprotected. That's so...irresponsible."

I resisted the urge to snort. Responsible wasn't really the first word to be associated with the Doctor.

"Well, perhaps I should risk going out into the world."

"You do that, I have a certain knight to meet with."

I swear, if he starts _jousting_ again…

The halls were filled with students heading to dinner and I slipped in amongst them, hiding in plain sight while wearing jeans. I didn't even realize my hair was down for once until I got to the staff table and felt it brush the back of my neck as I sat down. I held back a grimace, hoping it wouldn't try to get away as I ate. I ran through the permutations of ingredients and mutations necessary to fight of Lycanthropy as I stirred sugar into my tea. If I had a blood sample and a microscope, or rather two blood samples, a microscope and that spell I took note of in that book on healing spells that scanned levels of various magic properties, then I would be in serious business. As it was I needed more information or I was going nowhere. But the Doctor was _so sure_ that we could crack it together. My experience with Xeno-biology would probably help here, dealing with a foreign biochemistry like this.

I felt a jab to my left side and jabbed right back before looking up. Sirius. Of course it was. He raised an eyebrow at me,

"Thinking hard there, aren't you Mara?"

"What's it to ya, canine?"  
He rolled his eyes,

"I wish you'd call me by my name for once. You _can't_ still be angry over the whole 'hiding as a dog' thing."

I snorted,

"I was never _angry_ with you, I know why it was necessary. That you told me at all was good for the ego."

He just stared at me, forgetting his food.  
"Then _why_ do you refuse to use my name?"  
I shrugged,

"It was a sort of nickname at first, then I got used to it. It helped that your reaction to it was amusing."  
He groaned, leaning back in his chair,

"Then if you're going to use a nickname use _Padfoot_ please, I answer to that one already and everything! Canine is so...odd."

I cut off a giggle before it could fully form, choking a little.

"And Padfoot isn't odd? It's more random than Canine."  
"But canine is a description, while Padfoot is an alter-ego, like Batman."  
"If Padfoot is your alter-ego then you should only be called that when a dog...and how do you even know about Batman?"  
"It was all my students wanted to talk about a few weeks ago if they had just left your class. I don't know why _I_ can't get away with just showing films."  
He was pouting now and I snickered,

"Because technically I'm showing _history_ , or topics, themes, characters, and stories that affected history. Or I turn it into a muggle studies thing. It's a rather versatile subject if you think about it."  
"Hmm, perhaps we could switch out next year, and then go back after that, fool the curse or something."

I contemplated it for a second, it would certainly prevent Um-bitch from fucking with my school, but…

"Do you know _anything_ about muggle history? At all?"  
He shrugged,

"I mean, I could always teach it Binns style."

I sighed, sinking into my seat and facepalming.

"So I would have to undo the damage the next year?"  
He scowled, poking me in the side,

"Well, would you be capable of teaching defense?"  
I shook my head,

"Nope," being sure to pop the 'p', "No chance of me being any good at that. I suck at dueling apparently."

I was examining the chocolate eclairs now on the table when my mind wandered to another chocoholic I knew. One who was a werewolf...a potential donor for the samples I need.

I turned to Sirius, expression, well...serious. I checked to make sure Snape wasn't in the room before casting Muffliato, separating us from the world.

"I have this project I'm working on…"

"When _aren't'_ you working on a potentially illegal project?"

I scowled before continuing,

"I need your opinion…"

How sure was I about this route to a 'cure'? The Doctors word goes pretty damn far, but in order to bring it up would inspire hope, and if it was false…

I sighed, dropping the spell.

"Never mind. You wouldn't…"

I frowned into my eclair, wishing I'd just left it alone. I'm sure there's some old blood in the Shrieking Shack that I could scrape off the walls and rehydrate. It should be child's play to differentiate between dog, stag, rat, and werewolf.

He shoved lightly at my shoulder,

"What is it? Don't leave me hanging like that! I can help! I'm smart, I can handle your genius plans!"

I shh-ed him hurriedly, scowling at those that glanced our way.

"Jeez, keep it down!"

He pouted,

"Please Mara! I can help! Let me help with this one little bitty project!"

I groaned, hitting my head against the table briefly before sitting up, glaring at him.

"This project is not little. But it is _top secret_ , got that? As in, if I share it with you and you tell someone unauthorized that we're working on it the consequences will be _severe_."

" _How_ severe?"

" **Satan** would wince and tell me I was being harsh."

"...oh."

"Yeah. 'Oh'. Just...meet me in my classroom tomorrow, sometime after lunch and before dinner."

I drained the rest of my tea and left the room, still unsure about bringing him into the fold on any of this. I would have to spend a good deal of effort to relocate the Lycanthropy notes to my classroom. I wouldn't be able to bring him to my rooms, there were all sorts of incriminating things everywhere and I would never get them stowed away in time. Plus the Doctor would talk, and that wasn't something I needed. If he decided that Sirius should know _all_ of our plans then he would tell him. And he was more likely than me to ramble and slip up, honestly.

I managed to relocate in time to try the potion before Sirius arrived. I was in my office, sitting cross legged under the desk, out of sight should anyone get passed the locking charms before I realized. I took a deep breath before downing the potion in one go. It tasted just as horrible as last time, like rotted cherries and stale bread. There was a tingling, followed by pain, and then I was falling. I landed in a white plane, disturbingly blank. My mind is an empty, empty place apparently. Or maybe it's the 'mindscape' or whatever that's blank. Have I just not gotten around to decorating or something?

I was interrupted by a low growling noise from behind me, and it began again.

I'll admit it wasn't smart of me to try something that can be time consuming when I'm on a deadline and expecting company but I was just so _excited_. Part of me didn't truly believe I was capable of becoming an animagus, the part that had grown up muggle, and the scientist as well. Both of those parts of me doubted it, but they were thrilled to death now that I was chasing my own tail under the desk. I didn't realize how much I'd expected to fail until I succeeded and just stared at my paws for a while. Then I realized _I succeeded_ and lost my mind with glee.

Right up until the door clicked open and I realized that I was looking a very surprised Sirius in the eye. He just gaped for a second and then I realized, oh. Yeah. Illegal. Well, he is too, sooooo….

I concentrated on my human self, on having longer legs, a straight back, fingers and toes….it was a bit disorienting and I staggered a bit, but I was human again. I coughed in the ensuing silence,

"Erm, well...not what I wanted to talk about today...but I guess while we're on the subject, look what I've figured out I can do!"  
I did jazz hands for several seconds and got no reaction. Finally I sighed, dropping my hands and dragging a hand through my now bedraggled hair.

"Fine, whatever. Come on, there's more surprising stuff in the classroom."

He choked, but got out of my way,

" _More_ surprising? You're an illegal animagus!"  
I rolled my eyes,

"Shouldn't there be a 'too' in there somewhere, buddy? And for all you know I'm registered in America."

He tilted his head,

"Fair enough."

There was a second of silence as I spread out the papers on my desk,

"So, what do you know about muggle science?"

"Um...we breathe oxygen?"  
"Well, yeah. We do. I...actually hadn't expected even _that_ much knowledge. Well, anyway. Here."  
I handed him the papers where the Doctor and I had outlined our most promising potion, with a quill that wrote _exactly_ what was said taking down the Doctors idea's while I was in class. We managed to combine them and revise later to get the mega-theory. It was true genius. Sirius stared at it like it was in hieroglyphics. Finally he looked up at me, deadpanning,

"I have no idea what's going on."  
I sighed, taking back the paper.

"When taking another, deeper, look at animagus theory and putting a bit of science to it that theory came into being. _How_ magic shifts human beings into animals. And how it shifts the Animagus back."

He stared at me for a second before running a hand over his face and groaning,

"I"m sorry, I don't follow. What's the point of this?"  
I threw the paper down, opening a drawer in my desk and bringing out a runestone. It wasn't like a normal runestone, with a few smaller uncomplicated lines and arrays. This was mostly rune with barely any stone. I forced magic into it, calling up a magic fueled hologram that the Doctor had been hella proud of me for creating. This was DNA strands, specifically the strands of DNA that I had managed to get Zoopy to scrape off the walls of the Shrieking Shack, somewhere high up where the other animal blood wasn't likely to have reached. After checking it and verifying it was wolfy in origin rather than doggy or stag-like, or rattish, I applied it to the stone and tweaked it so it was easier to view. It was some sort of Iron Man, or Star Trek style stuff, and it was exciting.

I uncoiled the strands, blowing up the image so Sirius could see a certain point.

"Pay attention, I went without sleep last night to prepare this presentation."

He just stared at the glowing blue lines for a second before accepting it and moving on. Wizard raised people, jeez. Accepting all kinds of weird shit and not giving me a bit of awe. Now I know how the Doctor felt when he got a lackluster response from the military types. I also get why he didn't like them much if they did it to him all the time. I huffed, pressing play on the animation part, showing the morph of the gene, the rugged edges, the choppy transition, and the finished product.

He leaned forwards a bit,

"So, is this what happens when an animagus shifts?"  
"Nope."

I plopped out another stone, showing the dog DNA Zoopy had accidentally brought. Sirius' own DNA, actually. I played the animation, a smooth shift from one to the other, and back again.

"This one is animagus. The first one is werewolf."

Sirius stiffened, suddenly paying much closer attention to the two models in front of him.

I pushed them closer together,

"If one were to use a potion to replicate the way an animagus goes from human to animal, only apply it as going from a dormant werewolf to a dormant animagus transformation then instead you get a human whose animagus form was a rather large, no longer infectious, wolf."

His gaze turned intense, eyes meeting mine.

"Like you?"  
I huffed,

"No, not like me. I'm not rather large. Nor have I ever had Lycanthropy."

"But you could have! With your memory loss, what if you had it before, got rid of it, then lost your memory shortly afterwards!"

I resisted the urge to sigh. He wanted so badly for this to be possible.

"Of all the scars I have none of them is the initial bite of a werewolf that can never be gotten rid of."

"Are you sure? Do you need to check again? Perhaps help-"

I snarled, now surprisingly easier to sound animalistic. Some of Madame Vastra's tips had either gone too far or the wolf was integrating with waking human me far faster than I had assumed it would.

"Sirius. I am naturally a wolf animagus, alright? But if you help me then we can get this cure to become reality rather than theory, if it pans out. Are you willing to help me and risk failure?"  
He didn't even hesitate, Gryffindor through and through.

"Of course I'm going to help with this! What do you need? Money? I've got plenty of that tucked away."

I rolled my eyes,

"Perhaps later when we need to bribe the ministry or burn it down to the ashes in order to get them to make it legal and readily available should we succeed."

He nodded, and I mentally blessed him for accepting that we might have to completely tear down the government of the magical part of his country.

"What I really need are active samples."

"...what?"

"A vial of blood from a werewolf so I can run scans and tests. The stuff that this diagram consists of is from too old of samples for me to get real readings from. I won't know anything until I have various samples."

"Why didn't you just mail Remus yourself? I know you're still in contact."

"Mail can be intercepted. And you're going to visit over Christmas aren't you? Harry mentioned it, after the Yule ball or something. And...I'm loathe to get his hopes up and fail. You know him better. You'd know what to say to make sure it doesn't happen, I'm sure."

I took a deep breath,

"And then there's the fact that I would like some of your blood for a sample as well, if you don't mind. The different samples from both normal wolf, werewolf, and dog, would help with identifying the progression of the gene, and the 'magic' therein."

He blinked at me, eyes slightly glazed.

"I'll take your word for it on the technical stuff. And if there's even a chance it will help Moony then I'm in."

I smiled, relieved.

"Thanks."

"Thank _you_. Everyone's given up on a cure, they only research wolfsbane, and even that wasn't really for the werewolves benefit, more for control."  
I shrugged,

"It just sort of came up, so I chased it."

He sniggered,

"Yeah, there's dog in you."

I scowled,

"The first bitch joke I hear from you I'm going to throw you to Minerva."

He rolled his eyes, hand placed mockingly to his heart.

"Why I would never!"

"Sure, sure, whatever."  
Well, I had an ally in one aspect of my plans. But could I trust him with any of the other things?

 **~TimeLordOfPie**


	28. Chapter 28

I bit the bullet and bought a dress. I tried to keep my word and grab the first dress but Beatrice, a rather nice young woman who worked at the shop, decided to take charge. She forced me to try on several monstrosities, and didn't comment about my scars, simply bringing long sleeved dresses like I requested. I wanted something TARDIS blue but she insisted on something to bring out the green in my eyes. In the end she chose something in a royal purple with long, soft, sleeves that clung to my arms, and everywhere else really, save at the legs, where it flared out to allow for movement.

I showed up early to help with set up with the setup of the ball, getting a smile from Minerva.

"See, I told you getting a dress wouldn't be a problem."  
I shrugged,

"I let the lady at the shop pick it out. Said it helped bring out my eyes."

She bobbed her head in agreement,

"Well, she certainly knew what she was talking about. You do have lovely eyes."

I shrugged,

"Mom told me I have my dad's eyes."

I helped with the charms for our winter wonderland, whirling around and having fun putting ice crystals in random places. I had a vague memory of Fleur mentioning statues, but didn't really trust my abilities to add up to what the French witch would expect so I left it alone. When kids arrived I stayed out of the way, not sure how to act as a 'chaperone' or whatever. I sat at the Staff table, hair pulled up in an actual hairstyle for once, magically created curls pinned to the back of my head with a crescent moon shaped hair accessory Luna had given me for Christmas. A few strands had escaped and were tickling my neck, causing me to scowl at my menu. Honestly, even with magic I couldn't get my outfit to behave properly. Sirius looked perfect of course. Wait. _Of course_? Where the hell had that thought come from? I mean sure, he was hot now that he wasn't all bedraggled and starved, but-holy hell, when did I even realize that? And I shall promptly ignore it.

I shook my head, glaring at my porkchops. This was not in 'The Plan'. Not at all. 'The Plan' involved getting rid of the dark idiots, fixing the fuck up of government, keep children from being used to fight a war, and then becoming a hermit to find a way home or waste away trying. It did not include crushes on a fellow professor/students guardian. And also my brand new partner in crime. According to fanfiction he wasn't the type to hold a real relationship, but it's not like I knew anything for sure from canon. I pushed it out of my mind, focusing on the conversation around me.

Poppy was shooting me a funny look, and when I met her eyes she raised a delicate brow,

"Something wrong dear?"

I shrugged,

"Contemplating wave-particle duality and the various other mysteries of quantum mechanics."

She stared at me for a second before sighing,

"I wish you would stop using those complicated muggle phrases when you wish us to abandon a subject. It tends to give some of us headaches."

I stared at her for a second before grinning slightly

"Sorry. Habit."

I did my best to not look Sirius' way, knowing somewhere in my bones that I would give myself away. Or I tried to ignore him, but that was difficult since he sat right next to me and had a thing for elbowing me in the side every few seconds. After five minutes of it I gave up, raising my eyes to the heavens before turning to him.

"Yes?"

He smiled smugly in victory before poking me in the shoulder yet again,

"Just wanted to tell you how nice you looked this evening."

My mind blanked out and I scrambled for the response I would have told anyone else had they said that. Oh yeah, deadpan.

"You too."

Back to poking the salad. He poked me again,

"Everything alright? Nothing went wrong with your project, did it?"

He sounded a bit panicked at the end.

"No, no. Project's progressing as much as I had expected. I'll need to find a...a person, and observe the, eh, issue in progress in order to sort of stream line the-"

"Are you going to launch into the thing again with the big words?"  
I thought about it for a second,

"Probably."  
"In that case nevermind, I'll just take your word for it."  
I rolled my eyes, jabbing at the salad once again. I had assumed we would be back to silence after that. I was wrong.

"So, how has your Christmas been?"

How was my Christmas supposed to be? As far as everyone was concerned I was trapped miles away from home with no family, few friends, and only a portrait to keep me company.

"Fine. Yours?"  
"Harry can't wait to head home after this, see Remus and everything. That's when we're actually going to celebrate Christmas. You know, you're welcome to join us. Harry specifically mentioned for me to invite you."

I stared at my salad blankly for a second before looking up at him,

"I…"

Well damn. I hadn't spent Christmas with someone since I started college. Even the Doctor was elsewhere at Christmas, always getting up to something dangerous with other companions. He always assumed I was spending it family, and I never told him differently. That's, what, eleven of them now that I've spent alone?

"I wouldn't want to intrude."

He snorted,

"We wouldn't be inviting you if we didn't want you there. What do you say, flooing over after this soirée ends?"

I hesitated for a few more seconds, this was their what, first real Christmas together? But he was giving the puppy dog eyes, and as a dog animagus he was unfairly good at them.

"Please Mara?"  
I sighed explosively,

"Fine! Where are we flooing from?"

He grinned,

"My office, right after we change and Harry grabs his things from the tower."  
I resolved myself to a day more without research. Eventually dinner ended and the chairs disappeared, leaving me sighing and leaning against things instead. Sirius found me a few minutes later, slumped behind some decorations.

"Well, being a wallflower tonight? We can't have that."

I rolled my eyes, pointing over at one of the tables.

"Your Godson is king of the wallflowers, perhaps you should fix that first."

Ron was snarling about the Bulgarians already and I tilted my head, taking in the scene.

Sirius shrugged,

"He knows what he wants better than I do in this case. If he doesn't want to dance then I won't force him. _You_ however, have not had so much as a single one, and that needs to be rectified."

I just stared at him before putting on a faux mournful look,

"Oh, but all the eligible males are taken, whatever am I to do?"

One of the twins danced by, twirling a giggling Hufflepuff,

"Sorry, Professor, didn't mean to disappoint."

I snorted, smiling fondly at him before turning my attention back to Sirius.

"I'm fine sitting this one out, I think. You haven't danced either. I'd have thought you'd be all over that sort of thing."

"And what makes you think that?"

My brain stuttered to a halt. How would I have come to that conclusion? I've only seen him as being a sort of fun personality, chipper, not the 'popular party' type depicted in what I'd read of his early days.

"It's a party, just seemed like your kind of thing for some reason."

My personal anti-reporter ward around the castle tripped, telling me Rita was somewhere close. I snarled at the floor,

"Skeeter is here."

Sirius gave me an appraising look.

"Do you have a sixth sense for when she approaches? It's uncanny how you manage to know where she is at all times."

I shrugged,

"It's a talent. If you'll excuse me I need to punt her off the grounds."

"Can't someone else do it for a change?"  
"Definitely not. I enjoy freaking her the hell out. Makes my day."

I swept out of the room, heading straight towards the gardens, pushing past Ron and Harry with a small smile, and 'stumbled' upon Hagrid and Maxime sitting in the garden.

"Oh, apologies. I was just looking for someone, excuse me."

I continued through the gardens, smirking slightly. Rita had seen me and run, beetle form or not she didn't want to run into me again. She was headed in the direction of the castle and I went to head her off once again, she was clinging to Snape, a dangerous place to be if Karkaroff decided to head him off again. I saw her on his shoulder and for a horrifying second thought I was going to have to ask him to dance as an excuse to brush the bug off.

But he saw me loitering outside and approached.

"I'm sure you can handle the rest of the delinquents hiding out here. I have things to attend to inside."

"Sure, no problem."

I brushed the bug off casually, mentally cackling when she freaked out and flew off.

"Sorry, beetle. Have a nice night."  
I flushed the rest of the kids out of the bushes, cackling out loud all the while. Most of it was left over from Rita but some was from their expressions of mortification at being caught. I found Draco with one of the girls from Beauxbatons and simply raised an eyebrow at him, getting him to blush a very bright pink before he scampered off.

At midnight I shoo-ed people toward their common rooms before heading to my quarters, packing with a quick spell and using another to cram things out of sight or disguise them. The Doctor was snoozing in his frame, but I left a note for Zoopy on the desk changing into jeans, a sweater, and my converse before grabbing my bag and making a run for Sirius' classroom. He was in his office, sitting in his chair with his feet propped up on the desk. I stood awkwardly in the door for a second before knocking on the frame.

"We waiting on Harry?"

Sirius shook his head,

"I sent him on to the place, looked a bit tired. Dumbledore insisted on placing it under Fidelius since it doesn't have blood wards quite like at Privet Drive. He's the secret keeper, so you'll have to floo over with me, I couldn't get his attention before he disappeared tonight."

I swung my bag fully onto my back, grateful I still ascribed to backpacks instead of the clunky suitcase style things wizards liked.

"Fair enough. Let's get this show on the road then."  
He grabbed a handful of floo powder, holding the other out to me. I took it and he pulled me forwards close to him.

" _12 Grimmauld Place"_

He pulled me tighter to him before stepping into the flames. It was a tight squeeze, but we were stepping out into another room a second later. The words he said were already fuzzy in my head, but I knew very well where we were. I'd have to be careful not to speak it outloud, though. There was a Christmas tree in one corner, with gifts piled under it. Lights bobbed around it, unattached to the tree or any strings. He pulled me forwards, not letting go of my hand just yet.

"I'll show you where you'll be staying. Harry will probably wake us in a few hours for gifts, though."

The room was of medium size, a bed shoved into one of the corners and a desk in the other. I thanked Sirius as he disappeared down the hall, getting a tired wave in return. It made me wonder what the heck he'd gotten up to while I was chasing off reporters and breaking up lovebirds. I sighed, taking my shoes off and dropping into bed.

 **~TimeLordOfPie**


	29. Chapter 29

I woke only a few hours later because of a nightmare. It was the standard thing, surrounded by writhing darkness as the clank of cybermens heavy boots draws nearer, with those I care about dodging the blasts of a Dalek's laser across a chasm I couldn't cross. Sirius had joined several incarnations of the Doctor, firing spells at the Daleks and dodging the attentions of a few Silurians who weren't as agreeable a Madame Vastra.

I ended up stumbling into the shower in the bathroom attached to my room. I spent perhaps half an hour just standing under the water, trying to get myself together. When I exited the room I had put on jeans and my Weasley sweater. I had left my socks and shoes in the other room, so I padded barefoot back into the bedroom, pausing when I saw something on the bed. My hair was still slightly damp, and I pushed it back out of my face to see the lump on the bed was an animal. A very large black dog that was grinning at me. I raised an eyebrow and it jumped of the bed, landing on the floor with a solid thump and then dropping down into the classic 'play with me' pose that mocked a yoga position. I stared at him for a second,

"Really? At four in the morning?"

He yipped, albeit quietly. Everyone else was probably still asleep. I rolled my eyes.

"And you said _Harry_ would be the one up early."

He yipped again and I placed my folded clothes on the end of the bed,

"Fine."

I had been practicing with my transformation, but I was nowhere near as smooth with it as Sirius, or even Pettigrew. I was like a stumbling baby deer, Bambi when he stepped onto the ice. I looked drunk whenever I went back human. Though going from human to animal was much, much easier, and I didn't want to think about why I might be more comfortable as animal than human. I reached into myself and _pulled_ just slightly, feeling everything go slightly fuzzy for a second and then I was smaller, looking up at Sirius, or perhaps Padfoot at the moment, and thinking about how it wasn't fair that he was still bigger than me. He's a dog and I'm a wolf, isn't that top of the canine food chain? Well, in the magical world I suppose werewolf tops all others.

I had no idea how to act as a wolf, and it showed. Padfoot rolled his eyes before starting a game of tag. I wasn't aware it was tag at first, only realizing I had been lightly bopped on the head by a very large paw. I stared at him for a second, affronted. He went to bop me again and I snapped at his paw on instinct. I blinked, surprised at myself, but he didn't seem to mind. He tried to bop me again but I rolled out of the way, snaking a paw out to swipe at his side. Things escalated from there. I ended up chasing him around the house, we abandoned quiet when he ran into a small table in the hall that held an empty vase. The vase didn't break, instead bouncing off the floor and rolling away into the shadows. We froze, staring at one another. When nothing moved in the house it started again. We blurred through the kitchen, and I screeched to a halt before I could run into a decrepit house elf. We stared at one another, but Sirius was getting away so I couldn't stay for long. I would have to get the locket from this guy at some point, unless he had put it in the display case already, like in the novels. I gave it a sound lick to the edges of its ear before running off, tracking by scent. I found him in the living room, sniffing at the presents. I huffed, pretending to bite at the end of his tail. No cheating with the gifts allowed. I bopped him on the head, and ran, dodging the furniture. He leapt onto the couch, taking advantage of the higher ground. I tensed my legs to tackle him but both of us froze at the sound from the doorway.

The both of us tilted our heads slightly to look and found both Remus and Harry standing in the doorway. Shit. Harry had a tray of cinnamon rolls, judging by the smell, and Remus had a tray of several mugs of cocoa. Sirius shifted back smoothly, stepping off the couch as a dog, and landing on the floor as a human, walking towards them and grinning. He was wearing pajama bottoms, and a matching t-shirt, both dark shades of plaid.

"Good morning! Who's ready for presents!"

I attempted to slink off through the other doorway only to freeze once again when Remus cleared his throat.

"And who is that behind you, Sirius?"

I glanced up at him, tail tucked between my legs. Amber eyes of a werewolf. Instinct told me without a doubt that he was in charge, even as a human. Bummer. Good for research though. I filed it away in the back of my head and focused on being human again. It was one of my smoother transitions, sitting down as a wolf and then ending up as a cross legged human a second or so later. I did the mini-jazz hands routine once again,

"Um, surprise?"  
Remus rolled his eyes,

"Good morning, Mara."

Harry's mouth was gaping open slightly and I realized he probably hadn't seen me like this before, hair down, no shoes or socks. This was as casual as I got. My feet had small scars all along the bottom from running without shoes over all sorts of alien terrain, and the tops had small blotches of burn scars from an incident with acid and a very pissed off slug creature. Too late now. I let the silence continue for a second before standing, clapping my hands together.

"So, food?"

Harry snapped out of it, stepping forward and putting the tray on the low coffee table, Remus following suit. The both of them were wearing actual clothes, obviously just returning from buying the food.

They at least waited until I was handed a cup of cocoa and food before they started with the questions. Harry couldn't take it anymore, losing the battle to hold his tongue almost as soon as I had taken a sip of cocoa.

"So you're an animagus too? I thought it was like difficult and super rare?"  
I shrugged,

"It's more inconvenient. And difficult to get your hands on some of the ingredients."

Remus' face was blank where he was sitting in an armchair, holding a cup of cocoa and nothing else.

"Yes, how _did_ you get your hands on those ingredients?"  
I shrugged, taking a bite as an excuse to keep from answering. Like I had hoped Harry's next question saved me from having to give Remus a real answer.

"So you're a dog like Sirius?"  
I shot him an affronted look,

"I am a wolf, thank you."  
"I thought people couldn't be wolf animagi, only werewolves."

I shrugged,

"Well, apparently not."

Sirius looked excited, practically bouncing in his seat on the other end of the couch from me.

"There are going to be a lot more if we have our way."

"SIRIUS."

He looked like he'd been punched before grinning madly,

"You said my name."  
I groaned, slumping down in my seat and clutching my cocoa in both hands, cinnamon roll long gone.

"Yes, I did, and _you_ are giving out classified information, remember?"

He was still grinning like a loon,

"What, it's not like they're going to put it together."

Harry was watching us, his expression neutral. He raised an eyebrow,

"It sounds like you're planning on having puppies or something."

Remus spewed cocoa, giggling madly, former mood gone. Sirius was just eyeing his godson, expression just as blank, and I had no idea what my face looked like. Probably horror or a raging blush. I cleared my throat,

"No, that's...not the plan."

Harry shrugged,

"Well, until I'm told differently that's what I'm going to believe. Why wasn't I told I was getting a little sibling? It's exciting, I can teach them to fly, Mrs. Weasley can knit them a little sweater, Remus here can read them all sorts of things and be the godfather, it'll be nice."

I was now certain I was a rather unflattering shade of red, I didn't dare look at Sirius, not wanting to see his expression. Remus was joining Harry, nodding along,

"Oh, I don't know if I'd be the godfather, Sirius would like that but I'm not sure Mara would appreciate it, she might have someone in mind."

The Doctor. If he was here, he would have been the godfather if I ever had kids. No, don't fall for this. I looked at Harry and Remus warily, still avoiding looking at Sirius. Remus was joking, but I'm almost positive Harry wasn't. Oh god. He ships it. I made a funny noise in the back of my throat,

"Tell them."

Sirius looked over at me,

"Wha?"  
I rolled my eyes,

"The project, just tell them, before these theories of theirs get out of hand."

Sirius grinned at me, face lighting up once again and I had to look away. He scooted forwards in his seat, setting down his cocoa on the table.

"Our brilliant Mara here-"

"You sure she's not having puppies?"  
That kid. I'm going to give him _so_ much homework.

Sirius just rolled his eyes,

"I'm sure she's not having puppies." He paused. "You aren't, are you?"

"...no. I am not having puppies."  
"Ah, alright. Anyway, our brilliant Mara here has got a tentative idea, well it looks pretty promising to me, but I'm not a, what's it called again?"

"Biologist."

"Right, I'm not a biologist, so I'm not sure. Anyway, Mara might have a way to find the cure for Lycanthropy!"

Remus' cup shattered, shards scattering around him.

"That's not funny, Sirius."  
I leaned forwards, waving a hand and repairing the cup, putting it on the table. I regretted leaving my wand in my room now, if he got angry with us then I was going to be next to useless.

"Remus, he isn't joking."  
He looked up at me, eyes wide and disbelieving.

"There is no. Such. Thing. As a cure."

I set my empty mug beside his.

"I'll explain it, if that will help you to believe us."

He nodded, a sharp, jerking motion.

"I attended muggle college, I have a bachelors in Chemistry and Masters in a form of biology. In using muggle science and magic theory together I was able to isolate the way that DNA shifts for the animagus transformation. It made me think about the shift _back_ and how to replicate that sort of control with werewolves. It's all in the lining of the double helix. With werewolves Adenine and Guanine are trying to pair. This isn't possible. Adenine pairs with Thymine, it's fact. It's bumping into each other and then just finally fitting in whatever way it possibly can before the lycan unravels at the seams. When all of it reassembles on the full moon, where it's tugging at the werewolf gene like the tide, I wrote a paper about that, the DNA shifts to that of a wolf, but the faulty pairs ends with the loss of human mind, unlike with an animagus, and with the werewolf being contagious. The saliva contains the faulty gene, which spreads and wreaks havoc. It's just a case of a few missing hydrogen bonds and some proteins synthesizing weird. Should the treatment work it wouldn't be a 'cure' per say, it would make the change voluntary and the bite non contagious. In essence the 'cured' werewolf would instead be a rather large wolf animagus. The wolf wouldn't be lost, just fully absorbed as it was meant to be originally."

Harry was looking around at all of this, wide eyed, cocoa forgotten. Remus was staring blankly at his hands. He drew in a shaky breath,

"And when would this 'cure' be available?"  
"If the ministry doesn't stonewall me with the process of getting it tested, registered, and approved, then by next Christmas."

"How...how are you so sure?"

I shrugged,

"There were samples lying around and when the solution was introduced it behaved as it should. I just need it to go through the rest of the process to be legal and streamlined. Honestly the ministry wouldn't let it go through by next Christmas if I took it to them, they'd want to use it to make money or as a form of control. That's why I'd _like_ to hold it back until the ministry is run by more competent people. Sadly that won't happen for a while, but if I build up enough blackmail against the right people I can get it slipped in through the cracks."

"...oh. How much...how much are you thinking it will cost?"

I raised an eyebrow,

"You, sir, are getting one as a Christmas present, if you'd like. It should be free, a given for medical care. But the ministry won't see it that way. If they legalize it and try to make a business of selling it then I'll make it out of my basement and hand it out like candy. Or start a legitimate business and have vials of them in a mint bowl. You shouldn't have to pay for a cure."

He met my eyes, just looking at me for several seconds.

"Why would you do that?"  
I shrugged,

"My grandmother died when I was young. It was treatable, but we didn't have the money. That's not the way it's supposed to work. If I have the means to help then I don't want to hold it back for reasons as stupid as money."

He smiled, a rather small one, but a smile all the same.

"I have a feeling you would have been a Hufflepuff."

I shrugged,

"I was told I would fit into Ravenclaw."

He breathed in deeply, sitting up and running a hand through his hair.

"Well, if this all works out then consider yourself honorary Ravenclaw."

Sirius clapped his hands together in the following silence,

"I think it's time for presents, what about you, Harry?"  
This was met with enthusiastic agreement, and the two jumped up to hand out presents. I was even given a few. My gifts to them hadn't been opened yet, sitting under the tree until they were handed out. The atmosphere turned light after that, laughter and jokes flowing freely. I got a ton of candy from Harry, a book on Quidditch of all things from Remus, and was opening the last little box that had Sirius' name on it. I was wary of it, knowing his past as a Marauder there could be any manner of disaster in it, no matter the small size. Sirius noticed my wariness from his side of the couch, rolling his eyes.

"Oh come on, I didn't rig it! Who have you been talking to about me that gives you these ideas? Was it Snivellus?"

"Don't call him that."

"So it _was_ Snivellus."

"No, it was not. I don't interact with him outside of determining detentions for the Slytherins."

"Then why do you bother to defend him?"  
"Because it's rude to call people names."

I pulled off the ribbon, a lovely shade of blue, TARDIS blue. I took a second to just run it through my fingers. Coincidence, probably. I opened the box, staring for a second at what was inside. It was a necklace on a light colored chain, possibly silver. The charm on the end was an orb, a dusky black, with shining white lights inside. Constellations. If we were in London like the book had said, then it was the constellations above us. I looked up at him, wide eyed.

"It's beautiful. Thank you."

He grinned, sitting forwards from where he was lounging.

"Here, let me help you put it on."

His hands were large and warm against my neck, and I barely had the brain power to spare to worrying about if him touching the chain for the TARDIS key would break the perception filter. It held, and he retreated, the necklace settling at my throat.

"It shows the stars above you, no matter the time of day. You always mentioned wanting to see the stars before, but the Dementors would scare you back inside."

I huffed,  
"I was not _scared_ , I have a healthy respect of them is all."

He rolled his eyes and I elbowed him. Harry was examining the Quidditch gloves he'd gotten, and Remus was looking through the book I'd sent him. Sirius, however, still had his eyes fixed on me.

"I never did thank you for helping me. Without you I'd have killed the rat and never been free. So, thank you."

I averted my eyes, probably turning red again.

"No problemo, amigo. Have you opened the one from me yet?"

It was a blatant change of subject, but he went with it, opening the lumpy package. It was a black tshirt, muggle style, that I had charmed. It said "I'm not saying I'm Batman, but we've never been seen in the same room…"

I had charmed it so it would change size to fit properly once he put it on. I put a lot of effort into it, and it wasn't until last night that I actually realized why. But he beamed when he saw it, snickering.

"This is brilliant! That Batman person is totally wicked from what I've gathered."

I blanched,

"You still havn't seen Batman!"

Harry shook his head sadly,

"We can't let that stand."

Remus was watching the three of us, amused. I patted my pockets for a second before remembering my wand was in my room still.

"I guess we'll have to watch it another time. I can't work layered illusions for that long wandlessly."

I stared mournfully at the blank wall I could have used as the projector screen. I was interrupted in my thoughts when sockless feet landed in my lap. I gave Sirius a blank look. He just grinned back at me, continuing to sue me as a footrest.

"Not a chance. No one leaves the living room on Christmas until at least noon."

"Christmas was yesterday."

"Boxing day then."

I rolled my eyes but didn't move to get up,

"I hope you know I had set aside today to finally grade those exams."

"Really? You actually gave paper exams before Christmas? I tested them doing a couple of spells and left it at that."

I scowled,

"Well, I had planned physical test like that but Minerva didn't clear it. I'd actually assumed Snape would be the one who didn't want me to dress his kids up in armour and have them joust. Turns out he was the only one all for it."

Harry was wide eyed,

"Joust? Like in medieval times?"  
"Of course. Use thestrals as horses...Different test for every year, to fit the time period I was teaching them. Of course there were objections to every single one of them. Turns out taking them back in time to actually see Woodstock isn't allowed."

"You could do that? Go that far back in time?"  
Remus was looking at me strangely now, so I shrugged,

"I knew quite a bit about time before I ended up in St. Mungos. My life goal is now to avoid Veritaserum, who know's what's in my head. In any case I had to give paper tests in the end, poor bastards. Every answer was C. You should have seen their faces."

Harry looked torn between being affronted and amused.

"Ron nearly lost his mind over that! And Malfoy looked like he was going to be ill! Don't even get me _started_ on Hermione!"

I shrugged,

"The Ravenclaws were split in half on it, some of them lost their minds, the rest realized what I'd done after five questions and just filled in the rest without reading it. I could have tripped 'em up on that, made the last one A or something. Hmmm, ideas for next time."

Sirius was watching me warily,

"I'm very glad you weren't teaching when I was in school."

"Hm, me too, I hear horror stories about you, worse than the twins, they tell me."

His eyes glazed over slightly and he smiled widely,

"Ah, the Weasley twins, wonderful troublemakers they are. And I hear rumors that _you_ enable them."  
I clapped a hand to my heart, effecting a wounded look.

"What? How dare you! All those ideas are accidentally shared!"

Harry rolled his eyes,

"Professor, they're the only ones who had a 'boring' detention with you. Everyone else leaves swearing they're scarred for life."  
I snorted,

"They don't have any idea what I've got planned for future indiscretions. The next uppity pureblood that crosses me get's to help out the House Elves in the kitchen."

Sirius pretended to be offended,

"I take offense to that!"

Everyone in the room turned to stare at him simultaneously, giving him a blank look. He was in his pajamas, hair wild, sprawled on the couch, with his feet on top of a guest.

The silence stayed for several moments until Harry coughed,

"Erm, so there definitely are no puppies?"

He sounded downright gloomy, and for some reason I felt inexplicably guilty. I floundered for words, turning to Remus for help. He shrugged so I turned to Sirius, who was making faces at Harry, seemingly trying to communicate something without words. Remus and I watched the both of them for a few minutes, completely lost. After a moment I cleared my throat,

"Ah, no. No puppies. If I ever have kids it will be after I replace the upper echelons of the British Ministry of Magic."

"So you have a spouse back in America?"

"Nope."

"But how can you be sure?"  
"I don't remember _magic_ , my life outside of it was mostly untouched. I lived alone, thought about getting a pet. Sometimes I would randomly drop everything and travel the world on a whim."

"Sounds nice."

I shrugged,

"Meh, I was retired from it before this mess happened."  
"Why? You're still young, aren't you?"

I glanced down at the scars on my feet before looking back up at Harry.

"I got into a bit too much trouble. It was decided I was better off at home, where it was less likely someone would try to kill me."  
Harry snorted, toasting with his cocoa,

"Been there."

I grinned, toasting with my empty mug.

"They're just jealous of our awesome hair."

Both of our hair was currently a bird nest, sticking up every which way.

The conversation moved along, the fairy lights leaving the tree and bobbing around the room. All in all, the best Christmas I'd had in years.

 **~TimeLordOfPie**


	30. Chapter 30

I managed to find the locket, replacing it with a replica. It was in a display case, cordoned off. I'd been told to be wary of what was in it, the dark detection spells apparently didn't like the entire cabinet. I ignored all but Slytherin's locket. I would probably replace it once I got rid of the Horcrux within. At the moment I just needed to get it back to where my basilisk fangs were.

The night of New Year's Eve we returned to the castle, mostly so Harry could be with his friends for the celebration. I hopped through the floo after Harry and Sirius both went through, dark tendrils of magic poking at me from the Horcrux. I ignored it best I could, knowing that there was little else I could do.

I was able to leave my bag in Sirius' office while we were at the feast. We had cut things a little close in leaving his place. I spent most of New Years dinner being shifty, I'll admit. I was nervous and jumpy, wishing I had left the locket with the rest of my things. I just didn't want a house elf to stumble on it or something like that. It stayed in my pocket for all of the feast, I knew better than to wear it. After we ate I was drafted to patrol and make sure the students weren't hanging around. My mood was descending rapidly, and the students seemed to realize this. They got out of my way quickly, retreating to their common rooms before I could catch them in the halls. I heard several students murmuring around a corner, but they were gone the moment I got there.

Once back in my quarters I showed it to the Doctor, not bothering to unpack, or take off my outer robes. This particular Horcrux had proved in the novels that it was insidiously dangerous. The whispers into your mind were what made it so treacherous. With my wand in my right hand and fang in my left, I turned and glanced up at the Doctor, nodding solemnly. He hissed, looking thrilled to be taking part in the horcruxes destruction.

The locket clicked open, smoke spewing forth faster than I had assumed it would. I expected something much like a boggart, with my fears surging towards me. But it was just smoke. It reached for me, and I stabbed downwards, feeling the surge of smoke tingling as it touched my arms. It was very anti-climatic. The smoke dissipated almost immediately, the dark magic fading away to near nothing. I stared down at it.

"...Is that it? Like, seriously?"

The Doctor shrugged,

"Unlike with the trio it never had time to really examine your psyche. You never wore it, therefore it never had a chance to get inside your head. Not to mention your mental defenses are more than a bit stronger than those of 17 year olds."  
"...sounds legit, I guess."

I opened a drawer in my desk and shoved it in, closing the drawer quickly. I stared at my desk and the basilisk fang before sighing.

"Well, this year is looking interesting already."  
I bid the Doctor good night before falling into bed.

The next few days I stayed in my room, practicing my animagus transformation and planning how to break into Gringotts.

I couldn't exactly do what the trio had, I didn't have an invisibility cloak, accomplices, a goblin, or access to Bellatrix Lestrange. So I was either going to have to get creative, or go about things a completely different way. Perhaps I should just fall back on my plan B. It would solve the Harry Horcrux issue, the getting the cup issue, the 'Voldie might find his shit missing and flip a gasket' issue...but it would take time, be stupidly difficult, and might not work.

I was glaring at my half assed plans for Gringotts when I finally gave in, putting my pen down and looking up at the Doctor. He was fiddling with something or another that had been laying around in his frame when he was painted. I cleared my throat and he looked up at me after a few seconds,

"Doctor, did you ever get around to reading those Eragon books I recommended?"  
"Of course I did, went to 2038 and saw the reboot movie series. _So,_ much better than the original, ugh, the things they did to that poor plotline."

"I _know,_ right? They just took it and-I'm getting off topic. Do you remember in the one book, the spell to invoke empathy? To make someone realize what exactly they had done to the people they had hurt?...we need one of those."

"...come again, Mara? I do believe that's a different sort of magic."

I huffed,

"I'm aware that the Ancient Language and this latin stuff are completely different but essentially the same sorts of feats are possible! Listen, the only way to unmake a horcrux without damaging the vessel, the only way to gather all existing pieces together into one convenient place, is _remorse_. Tom Marvolo Riddle was conceived under love potion, he has never _felt_ as a normal human being should. We give that to him and he has the emotional maturity of a toddler who can be easily guided towards certain conclusions and feelings. We force him to _feel,_ and once he feels we convince him to _regret."_

The Doctor thought it over, not daring to hope just yet.

"At this moment, however, Voldemort is vulnerable and in that wraith like state. Wouldn't putting him together again sort of...improve him? He would be...not insane, and perfectly free to either conquer as he was or create new horcruxes and hide them where we'll never expect to find them."

"...this is true." I sighed, running my hands through my hair. "We should at least figure it out to have on hand. If we're ever staring him in the face then we should have the option available."  
He agreed and set to work, going at it from a scientific angle of what would be required for that, while I searched restlessly for the magical one. Hopefully we would be able to meet in the middle.

My 'cure' was on hold for the moment, kind of. There was a batch of stuff brewing in my bathroom, the latest prototype. I had a vial of blood on my desk, waiting for the cure to be tested on it. Remus had mailed it to me a few days ago. He was trying not to get his hopes up, but Sirius apparently wasn't having it. The man was convinced I'd have it in the bag shortly. While that was flattering it was also stressful. It became more than 'improving society', 'helping the downtrodden', and 'sticking it to those ministry bastards'. It was also the tiniest bit of 'impress Sirius'. The time away from him was not doing me good, like I had assumed. Imagination was not my friend.

When classes started I was once again thin and pale. I'd also lost a bit of muscle mass because of my forced solitude. So not only was I not eating properly, I wasn't going on my runs like I should. I made a mental note to make time for those no matter what as I trudged into the Great Hall for breakfast. I was back to my double layers of clothing, destroying a horcrux that tickled you with malicious dark magic fingers wasn't good for my condition. So it was a rather pissed off Mara that was clutching coffee when Sirius settled down beside me.  
"Where have you been? I haven't seen you since last year!"

I rolled my eyes at the weak joke, not having the energy to elbow him for it.

"I've been in exile working on things."

"Hmm...perhaps you should work on things outside, you look like you could use some sun."

I raised an eyebrow and pointed upwards.

"Canine, it is snowing."

He huffed,

"Don't go back to calling me that, and a little snow won't hurt you."

I poured my third cup of coffee for the day,

"Actually I think it might. I have enough issues with cold, thank you."

I took that cup to go, waving a goodbye to the rest of the staff before heading to my classroom. Seconds after my first class started there was a small explosion from the hall and I just knew my day was going to be hell.

After the Slytherin girl was finished tearing her now _ex_ -boyfriend a new one class was able to continue, though not without a fair share of gossip floating around the room. The kids were tough to control the entire day, still missing the break and excited for the upcoming challenge. I ended up slumped over on the table at dinner that evening, complaining to Minerva.

"I'm too old for thiiiiiiis."

She huffed,

"You are not _old_ , you're simply a bit ill at the moment. I just don't understand how your condition was aggravated again, no one used dark magic around you, I'm assuming?"  
Sirius turned pale, putting his tea down slowly.

"Our London house practically _breathes_ dark magic, Mara I'm so sorry I should have thought before I forced you to go with us!"

I waved a hand without looking, forehead still connected to the table.

"Don't worry about it, it isn't your fault. I'll be fine again in no time."  
He remained unconvinced. He was back to following me around, this time looking like a kicked puppy. It was a convenient explanation for why I was ill, and even a little bit true, but I still felt bad for making him feel guilty.

I figured out that I could change into my animagus form and the cold would die down a bit. I guess it was similar in principle to how Sirius could sneak past Dementors as a dog. So I took cat naps, or wolf naps as it were, during the day in order to get some sleep. I was wary of sleeping that way through the entire night, I had read that it was possible for those new to the transformation to get stuck in their animal forms if they remained in them for too long.

I had until February to prepare for the second task, and I wasn't looking forward to it. Not only would students be in danger, but I would have to sit outside in the cold for hours doing absolutely nothing. I would have to act worried while I froze my ass off. When I caught Hermione, Harry, and Ron in the library looking up ways to breathe under water it hit me. Moody wouldn't be sending Dobby or Cedric, or whoever, to help this time, because Moody wasn't here. I mentally cursed, realizing that Neville wouldn't get through the book in time by this point, so instead I slipped it into Hermione's reading pile and waited for the revelation. It didn't take as long as I thought it would. A little bit later Snape's stores were broken into, and too much was moved around for him to tell what was taken. Everyone heard him muttering in the staff room, though no one was stupid enough to get sucked into a conversation over it.

With that done I was better able to focus on all of my projects. I didn't have enough time in the day for all of it, and it made me wish for a time turner. I had the resources and the knowledge, I could always build one of my own, but that would take time that I couldn't use it to get back, so ultimately it wasn't worth it. Hermione's was: one, in use by the girl herself, and two, out of my reach. I doubted that she would allow me to use it if it wasn't a very obvious case of life or death. So instead I ate meals away from the Great Hall, usually while pouring over equations and ancient texts. Even my workout time was spent with research. The room of requirement gave me a small circular track to run and I had a quill that would follow me around and write down whatever I said onto some parchment. I was able to take down notes, theories, or ideas so as not to lose time. Some days I had to walk around the track, running being out of the question. I knew the Doctor was also looking up reasons for why dark magic was affecting me as it did, but all he could tell me was that it was most likely because I was foreign to this dimension, so 'wrong' things even for here would strike as extra 'wrong' to my system.

When the second task rolled around I sat grumpily in the stands, wrapped up in everything possible. I made sure to squish myself in between Sirius, who was 'animagus warm', and Hagrid, who was half-giant warm. Even with that it was worse than fucking freezing and I stared angrily at the surface of the lake while abso-fuckin-lutely nothing happened. Sirius was too worried to think about the cold, staring down at the water, looking like he hoped that by concentrating enough his godson would pop out unharmed at any second. Fleur was caught by the grindylows, after time Krum showed up Hermione, Diggory next, and finally Harry with the last two hostages, just as he was supposed to. Something in me relaxed a bit when things ended as I had hoped. I let Sirius run to Harry's side and tracked down Rita Skeeter, who I could do nothing about. I only had a vague area to work from,and if I couldn't see her in that area then I was doomed. So I scowled internally and watched as Hermione hugged Harry then went back to Krum, knowing that an article about them would be out at some point. I would have to reassure Molly that it was utter trash so she wouldn't jip the girl at Easter like she had in the novels. The last task was scheduled for the 24th of June, but I ignored it. There was no danger coming, Moody was gone, even Winky too, and Harry could handle the maze. I was able to focus more on my projects without worrying about the kid, and I was grateful for my foresight over the summer in making such complete lesson plans.

Students seemed to take note of the days when I refused to move around at all, some were on their best behavior, others thought it meant they could get away with more. I was giving detentions away to Filch more often than I was hosting them myself. Draco Malfoy stayed out of trouble almost completely. His grades in other classes went up, and reports from the Doctors little portait friends about bullying had dropped off to nothing. He showed up in my office more and more to ask questions, though usually they had nothing to do with my class. He asked questions about other classes, about America, about the bits of science that I had mentioned. It was research time lost, but I considered him both worth the effort and a good investment. When I caught myself thinking that last thought I was more than a bit horrified with myself. I was starting to think like I was a politician or a chessmaster and everyone around me was a pawn I could move. Though speaking in chess terms would make things easier it would also be dehumanizing. I should really be more careful or all of this would go to my head.

Come March Skeeters piece came out in Witch Weekly, as well as a small part in the prophet. I saw it at breakfast and lost my mind a little bit, throwing it down viciously onto the table.

"All that fucking effort to keep her away from people and stop her from causing trouble, and she does it anyway. Does she have recording spells everywhere? I have physically tossed her off of the grounds, how does she keep getting back in? How shitty is our security?"

I crossed my arms slightly petulantly, not expecting an answer. But Dumbles surprised me, sighing loudly,

"I quite agree Mara. I believe I shall call a staff meeting this afternoon in order to address the situation."

Well, that was easier than I had expected. Still, our meeting didn't go smoothly. There were arguments about how to go about banning her from the grounds, as well as debate over if we really should, or legally _could_. In the end it was decided to leave it up to the governors if we could ward the grounds against her. I gave up hope right around then, Lucius Malfoy wasn't going to allow us to ban someone who caused Harry Potter this much emotional grief. In the end that's what I had decided the tournament was, a way to cause him grief, to distract him. I couldn't remember if it had ever been explicitly stated that Malfoy Sr. knew about the return of his 'master', so perhaps it was just to annoy him when he was meant to have a year of peace. I had entertained the idea that Malfoy was doing it in order to bring back old, pureblood traditions, but I couldn't find anything linking the tournament with pureblood tradition, so in the end I let it go. This all proved that at least in Cannon Dumbles had done more than we thought to help Harry...what else could the books have missed?

Either way I had too much on my mind to worry about what was going on in _Malfoy's_ head, not when I was already pretty sure he wouldn't do anything to affect the game at this point. My theories swirled in the air around my room, lit up in floating silvery letters. I switched a few around, still sulking from the decision to consult the governors. I was moving around a few strands of wolf DNA when there was a knock at my door. I flicked my wand to charm the door clear on my side, a trick Zoopy had taught me earlier in the month when I couldn't be sure if it was Poppy or Sirius who was bothering me. This time it was Sirius, so I flicked my wand twice more, once to send the door back to normal and again open it a crack.

He pushed through with no hesitation, right up until he saw the floating words. I knew it was possible from the Chamber of Secrets, but putting it into action had taken a bit of work. Now that work payed off, the look of awe on his face was priceless. I shifted the blanket that was wrapped around me, beckoning a few items of business forwards.

"So I've done the calculations for the next trial, seeing as the last one actually did _worse_ than the previous almost-success. I was right that I needed more aconite in the mixture, but I also needed proportionally more Asphodel. Not powdered for once, I want to try fresh-ish leaves. I'm having Neville bring some in to me on Monday morning after he has Herbology."

I gave the recipe a twirl, leaving the letters to dance off back into the maelstrom, turning back to Sirius.

"You know, things would be ten thousand times easier and quicker if we had someone good at potions."

He waved his hand, made a noise low in his throat, not looking away from one of the swear words that he was attempting to catch.

"Don't be silly, you're brilliant at potions."

"Noooo, I'm acceptable. I meant that we should get the help of a potions Master."

A silvery 'fuck' slipped from his fingers as he froze. He didn't turn to look at me.

"Snape. You want to tell Snape about this."  
He sounded quiet and calm, so in my head klaxons started going off and warning lights flashed. I tensed a bit, letting my blanket fall as I held my hands up.

"He won't be able to do anything to harm this operation. If anything he'd be the best help of all of us. He'd have plenty of motivation, something like this would _make_ his career. He could leave teaching at any time, which honestly I think is his end goal. It couldn't hurt to-"

"Would it really help?"

My first instinct was to say yes and jump on it. But I spent a second thinking it over. I could potentially go without Snape's help, but honestly, he was a master and I could do a few tricks because of my science background. There was no contest.

"Yes, I think it would."

He sighed, snatching half heartedly at a 'cunt wagon' that I couldn't remember the context of.

"Alright then. See if he will help us. But I won't talk to him."

I scowled, summoning the 'cunt wagon' towards me, as well as its accompanying phrase.

"I'm pretty sure he doesn't like me. He won't speak with me unless I come crawling to him in the dungeons, and even then…"

The phrase was about Voldemort and finding the horcruxes, I banished it away quickly, remembering now precisely who I had been calling a wagon full of cunt.

I brought forwards my agenda for tomorrow, writing a somber 'speak with Snape' onto a blank slot. I glared over at Sirius, who was back to trying to catch swear words. I snorted, unable to hold the expression.

"Just can't find a flying fuck to give, can you?"

 **~TimeLordOfPie**


	31. Chapter 31

The next day was one of my slower ones, and I had an internal monologue of words I couldn't say in front of the kids. My limbs felt like they were moving underwater rather than through air, but I struggled to my classroom that morning. I taught from my desk, using my wand to write on the chalkboard. It was a Wednesday, meaning I had the Fourth years after lunch. They entered loudly, laughing about something or another. I caught mention of the twins and left it alone.

"Sit down, I've got important things to impart on you youngsters today."

In bold letters I had the chalk write on the board behind me in all caps MERLIN.

I turned back around to the sea of young faces and continued to debate showing them the entire first season just because I could, hang the consequences.

"This guy, is a legend. For you guys because of the magical accomplishments and whatnot, but to the Muggles, it was mainly for the King he supposedly advised."

I placed a runestone on the desk that spun a dusky image of 'King Arthur', and if it was Bradley James in costume then who would know but me?

"To you the great 'Merlin' is revered enough that his taking his private parts in vain is the most severe swear you can come up with, but to the majority of muggles he is, at best, a side character."

Now most of them looked vaguely offended and I held up a hand to stop the protests before they could form.

"There are many interpretations of it, the legend is just that, a legend, and you know what they say, Hero's always get remembered, but legends never die."

Some Panic! Is always good for the soul. Maybe next time I'll make a Sherlock reference in class. As it was I was left to continue explaining.

"Okay kids, listen up. I'm going to give the most basic rundown of this thing that ever was, and then a list of books that tell about it. For homework," I ignored the groans, "you will read through at least the descriptions on some of these, then the legend, and pick which telling of it either pleases your little heart the best, or that you find the closest to what you believe is historically accurate. I'm being generous here, this assignment is self-tailored. You can do it very easy and creative-like, or take the technical route. I know some people find creativity easier, and some people take a better liking to facts, this way you won't be graded harshly for something that isn't your forte."

Some kids were thoughtful, some scribbling away as if they already had an idea.

"I hate to do this to you, but this is worth a good forty five percent of your grade," my faux reluctance was obvious enough that most of them looked suspicious, Hermione included, "so really I hope you take the entire three weeks to put together something decent. If you need any help at all come to me and I'll be willing to look over what you have for grammar or understandability and whatnot."

I waved my wand, the wood warm and familiar under my fingertips,

"Now, here is the legend of King Arthur."

I did the most basic bullet point piece of shit to ever grace a blackboard in the history of academics and even Crabbe and Goyle looked a little cheated, Crabbe going so far as to raise his hand in class, nearly giving half the classroom heart attacks.

"But _why_ was the magical sword in the lake?"

I shrugged,

"Pick a legend. Maybe his potions teacher put it there while sort of pretending to be his mother."

The reference was, of course, lost on them, but the strange looks I got were priceless. I had a feeling that for once in their lives a few of the so called 'henchmen Slytherins' were going to be putting real effort into their academics.

"Soooo, I've managed a miracle."

I was leaning against the open door to Snape's office, trying to put on an air of nonchalance, it shattered when he started, startling me at the same time. I blinked at him owlishly, ignoring the reflexive scowl he sent my way.

" _What_ are you on about, Swift?"

"Mara. And I'm talking about Mister Crabbe and Mister Goyle who are at this very moment reading a book apiece and putting their entire efforts into an academic project."

There was something in his expression that I didn't quite catch before it was gone and he sighed,

"While this is interesting news, what brings you down here?"  
I nodded, glancing behind me to make sure the door that lead from the classroom to the hall was still firmly shut. When I looked back at him his expression hadn't changed one bit,

"You, actually."

My proposal was met with a raised eyebrow and disbelieving look. I had to drag my sorry carcass out into his classroom, the man following me and paying rapt attention as I outlined a few things on his chalkboard. After I was knee deep in equations and theories he held up a hand to stop me, pinching his nose between forefinger and thumb, sighing.

"And why are you talking to _me_ about this?"

I put the chalk down into the tray, leaning my hip against his desk and crossed my arms.

"Erm, because you're a potions _master_ and I'm adequate at best? This is...ah, delicate work, to put it loosely. I'm not skilled enough for this, you are, and you're not someone I would see fucking it up because of prejudice."

At the look on his face I amended quickly,

"Well, you'd be prejudiced, but you wouldn't let that dictate your actions when it came to the health and happiness of thousands."

He didn't look too convinced, Slytherin to the end.

I sighed,

"And I owe you. You were the one who helped me get the Doctor back, sort of. So I figure the fortune and fame, or infamy, of curing lycanthropy might be worth something."  
His expression cleared, going back to his usual mask of blankness. Getting rid of debts owed he could understand. Even if that wasn't really what I was doing here, not really.

In the end he agreed and we hashed out most of the details. I would spend certain amounts of time with him working on it, my theories and xenobiology expertise working hand in hand with his intimate knowledge of potions and their ingredients. He expressed the need for an herbologist for some of the exact specifications of a few particular ingredients and I agreed that it might be necessary for him to read Pomona into the program should he need to.

Back in my room that night I could only complain to the Doctor that the 'secret project' wasn't even secret anymore. He had no sympathy whatsoever. He was very into teamwork among humans, which I always found odd, seeing as he sometimes refused to let us help him, even when the entire universe was quite literally against him.

He spent a lot of time with the Fat Lady lately, hanging around the entrance of Gryffindor tower and giving advice to the students, telling stories of wonder and far off worlds to the younger ones. I made a mental note of moving him to the classroom, or even better, researching how to make him another frame, like Phineas Black who had a portrait in Grimmauld _and_ Hogwarts. Perhaps I could get the Doctor a portrait for my classroom, and one for my home itself, should I ever get one…

 **~TimeLordOfPie**


	32. Chapter 32

I was glaring at a hedge for almost an hour before the first sparks were sent up. My heart was in my throat and I couldn't take my eyes off those who were sent in to fetch the felled champion. No future knowledge would help here. Events unfolded the way they did before only because Moody/Crouch's intervention with an imperious curse. Now it was all up to fate. The very first to get out of the running was Cedric Diggory. I was guiltily relieved. I knew that without Crouch or Winky he wasn't likely to die in such a task but to see him back, safe, being embraced by his father...some hidden tension in me eased and I breathed a bit easier. But children were still inside that death trap and I kept my silent vigil keeping an eye on the wards as I did. Any use of dark magic nearby would ding on my radar. If Moody/Crouch had left behind an imperious-ed sleeper soldier of sorts to attack students then I would feel it and tear them to pieces.

The next out was Krum, leaving only Fleur and Harry. Krum was taking the loss with good grace, his headmaster not so much. Karkaroff was already calling out Hogwarts as a whole for having two champions and braying about the unfairness to his own school. Krum nudged him none too gently and words were spoken before the dark school's' headmaster stormed back to his seat. Fleur was out next, and she was only just being extracted from the maze when I felt it, the tug of a portkey through the wards. I had been leaning listlessly against Hagrid, Hermione pressed against my other side, the girl attempting to share some body heat. I shot up, ignoring the cold, shoving the pain away, eyes wide.

"The wards."

The two didn't understand what I meant, but the obvious distress in my voice was enough to worry them. Hermione put a hand on my shoulder, trying to pull me back into my seat.

"Professor, you're going to hurt yourself. What's wrong?"

I picked Dumbledore out of the crowd, he was speaking with Diggory and his father at the first row of the stands. He hadn't noticed. Sirius was standing beside the two but not paying attention, instead watching the maze intently, probably dreading the sight of red sparks. I tried to push past Hagrid to get to the stairs, unsure of what exactly I was going to tell the Headmaster but positive I had to try. Could Harry _survive_ without the ghost of Cedric? Was that in the book or the movie, anyway? Was it likely to be real here? **Who enchanted the damn portkey?**

Hagrid attempted to stop me, putting a large, heavy hand on my shoulder, Hermione, Ron, and all of the other Gryffindors were watching me, concerned. I threw his hand off, taking off the outer cloak so I had better range of movement, shivering violently with the influx of cold air on my already chilled body.

Hagrid made another grab for me,

"Mara, what're yeh-"

"THE WARDS, it's the Wards! They've been breached! He's _off the grounds,_ he's been _taken_!"

I didn't have to specify _who_ , they blanched as one, and I launched myself over one of the benches, briefly reminded of Extreme parkour from the 32nd century. I pushed it aside just as I rushed through the crowd, whatever expression was on my face causing those who saw it to pale and back out of my way. Others were unceremoniously shoved, either with hand or magic. The edge of the stands was a several foot tall drop to where the headmasters, various teachers, judges, and champions were located. I ignored it, not stopping in my dead run, planting my right hand on the edge of it, ignoring Minerva to my right as she made to grab me, Severus on her other side looking outright surprised for the first time in my experience with him. I launched myself in the air, twisting my hand so it swung my body around to face Dumbledore and Sirius, releasing with my right hand at the last second and landing in a crouch, left hand touching to ground to stabilize me. Those in front of me started, not used to seeing me move with a purpose.

"Harry's left the grounds."

I straightened up, bringing forward my left hand and calling forwards the blue strings of magic that held together the wards, zooming in on the tiny fracture the portkey had exited through. I grimly looked up at Dumbledore, ignoring everyone else around us as well as the voice in my head saying that lying down to sleep for eternity would be a good idea.

"Can you track the signature and drag him back?"  
I shook my head,

"I could bring back whatever dragged him out, but if he isn't in contact anymore then it only takes away his chance of escape."

"Could you follow it?"  
I tilted my head, casting my eyes back down to the model, bringing my now lightly bleeding right hand up to twirl through the strings, tossing aside lights and inputting sequences and codes at near incomprehensible speeds, glad as hell for the reflex training we'd gotten from Strax after the incident with the hand grenades and the seven memory slugs.

"I could attempt it. If the enchantment was to only bring him, or to only let in a certain thing then I could at best be rebounded somewhere near there, or back here. At worst I would be left in the void in between destinations."

Mr. Diggory (Sr) scoffed,

"And what is _that_ nonsense?"

I had _no_ time for bullshit. I turned an icy gaze on him,

"When you apparate, you feel like you're being pulled through a tube? You are. It's the place between places. Floo network? Same concept. Portkey? Same concept. There is no instantaneous appearance elsewhere, it is travel through a second, shorter, medium."

That said I tuned him out completely, turning back to Dumbledore.

"I'll try to follow."

I reached through the hole in the wards, searching for the magical signature left behind by the portkey. It was fading already. I grabbed for it, and _yanked_. I was pulled forwards, black and tombstones and humans flashing before my eyes before I hit the dirt. I jerked to my feet the next half second later, way too many memories of bad TARDIS landings surging to the forefront of my mind. I was still beside Dumbledore. I growled in frustration.

"I saw a graveyard and gathering of people in black, but I was unable to land, wards must have gone up to guard against entrance."

Mr. Diggory cut in once again.

"Well don't just stand there then woman, go call for the Aurors! What were you thinking anyway, following the boy? You would just have been killed, don't you remember what happened at the World Cup?"

My face pulled into an unconscious sneer,

"Four on one was a little unfair in that case."

Before I could flay him alive Dumbledore cut in,

"I have called for the Aurors already, Mister Weasley, if you could contact your superiors?"  
Percy nodded, pale but not panicking, sending a silvery patronus flying off. I reached for the wards once more, trying to feel the path again only to feel a surge of incoming magic. Four minutes and twenty seconds. An impressive amount of time to get away from Voldemort. If he was alive still. Harry hit the ground just where I calculated he would, and because of that I made it to him first, turning him over and checking for wounds as he began talking.

"He's back! Voldemort's back!"

The sentiment behind it chilled me slightly. Another madman to deal with. And this was definitely not the good kind that came with a blue box. I pulled Harry to his feet, already not liking the look of the cut on his arm that must have been where the blood from the ritual was taken. People rushed to ask questions and I straightened as much as I could while helping the teenager stand, giving them a glare based on one that made Kings, Emperors, and self proclaimed 'gods' shiver a bit and take note that the Doctor wasn't the only one in the room they should be wary of. Because while the Doctor was fearsome, he had rules. Me, well, I wasn't nearly as against poison as a problem solver.

"He can answer your questions just fine from the infirmary. Right now he needs to get this seen to."

There was no argument, though Mr. Diggory looked pissed at me. I didn't give a flying fuck about him, he didn't even know what he could have lost. Madame Pomfrey was at our side and running scans before we even got off the field, and Sirius took Harry from me, letting the teen lean against him instead. I didn't let myself show too much relief. I couldn't let my control slip even for a second or it would crash down completely. I saw the Gryffindors in Harry's year as well as the Twins trying to push through the crowd, still attempting to follow me. Ha, good luck with that. Running of all kinds is an art form when one has traveled with the Doctor. Through crowds, buildings, _starsystems_ , didn't matter. If we didn't want to be caught or stopped we wouldn't be. Companions to the Doctor got where they were going. The kids had no such experience, though Hermione was doing a surprisingly good job of shoving idiots out of her way with impunity.

By the time we made it to the infirmary Harry was a bit less pale, though Sirius looked worse if possible, worry clouding his face. Harry told his story and answered questions while he was patched up and I stood at the edge of the crowd, back military straight and trying to think of who the hell could be working for Voldemort within the castle.

Karkaroff wasn't a possibility because of his stint as a rather public snitch, and Snape was just as unlikely though for different reasons. Smaller conversations and arguments had broken out after the story was told, I'm assuming the same save for Cedric's absence, I wasn't exactly listening through my musing. He apparently hadn't played as much of a part in the actual action as I had assumed if things managed to turn out much the same way. Harry would have been emotionally torn apart by the death, and now he just looked worried over the implications of Voldemort's return and slightly shaken from the fight, excitement and pain. The thought of pain brought forth the memory of him leaving out that he'd been under some form of cruciatus as far as I'd heard, when Voldemort made contact with him at the very least. Poppy hadn't checked for it. Had it been left out this time? I examined him intently from a distance. Sirius was arguing with someone about something and Harry had taken the chance away from his mothering to sag against the pillows, trembling slightly. No, shivering. I glowered at the floor before pushing forwards, dancing around the people easily and grabbing an armful of quilts that were usually mine during my frequent visits. I marched up to Harry and started wrapping them around him, glancing at Poppy,

"The Seventh mixture I should think."

Our jointly written book on fighting the residual effects of dark spells such as the cruciatus had several concoctions from special hot chocolate to legitimate potions. Mixture number seven didn't have a name yet. It was for those freshly cursed with the cruciatus. It would reduce the current effects and eliminate long term ones. Her skin tone dropped by at least two shades.

"Oh dear."

She rocketed out of the room and to her office, everyone else stopping and taking notice of us. I waved my wand over the bed,

" _Tueri contra, ne nimium dolor,_ _prohibere tenebris-_ "

Mr. Diggory pushed to the front, grabbing my wrist to stop the spell casting.

"That's enough! Who do you think you are ordering around the Medi-witch and casting spells on a patient?! You should be thrown out for your insolence, she had it well in hand!"

I ripped my wrist away, taking a step forwards and stared him down, ignoring the physics of the fact that he was actually taller than me.

"Touch me again and you'll find out why I'm blacklisted from Vatican City."

I stepped back, turning back to Harry and pointing to him.

"Poppy and I work together on certain cases and afflictions. I happen to be an...expert...on this particular spell. I'm going to keep him from having long term effects and I'm going to try to stop any suffering he feels at the moment."  
At that moment Poppy showed up once again and with a glance noticed the situation, turning a stern gaze on Diggory.

"If you can't behave I'm going to have to ask you to leave!"

He spluttered and I turned to Harry, watching intently as Poppy administered the 'treatment'. It was hot chocolate, laced with a bit of medical help. Not that Harry would notice it. He nodded off almost immediately after he drained it. The newly arrived Minister protested,

"We never got to question the boy!"

I turned my head to him, raising an eyebrow.

"Would you rather wait to question him or wake him and interrupt the healing?"

When he looked like he was going to take the second option I pointed to the sleeping boy.

"You wake him now and it will stunt his recovery. You don't fuck with this kind of dark magic."  
Fudge twisted his hat around in his hands, face pinched,

"Are you sure there's dark magic involved? I'm sure that it's just the cries of attention from a troubled youth-"

"Poppy, do your scans show evidence of the cruciatus curse?"  
"...yes."

The quickly administered scan showed exactly what she knew I had seen with the naked eye. I turned back to the kid, he looked so small in those hospital issue pajamas. I added a few more layers of quilt and let Dumbledore argue with Fudge. When he couldn't immediately poke holes in the story about Voldemort he turned to the story about how they first knew something was wrong, whirling to me.

"And how did _you_ know something was wrong, eh? Foreigner turning up under suspicious circumstances, knowing things she shouldn't?"  
I put on my most unnerving of grins.

"Oh, you know the _exact_ circumstances of why I'm here, don't you minister?"

I dropped the grin, scowling.

"I keep watch on the wards for breaks, but during the task especially. I like to keep an eye out for Skeeter. She's hell in heels. I dislike her running amok with students around. Instead I came across a breach in the wards."

"And you were looking _that_ thoroughly with intensive, complicated magic?"  
I gave him a blank look,

"Oh, so I was supposed to do what everyone else was doing and stare at a hedge for a few hours? No thank you."  
Someone snorted and I'd have put money on it being Sirius but he was, well, serious at the moment, what with learning of his godsons torture. I ignored the ministers blustering, turning back to Harry and looking him over. His color had improved already. I glanced up at Poppy and she met my eye, nodding in agreement to my unspoken assessment.

"Yes, he's doing brilliantly, it must not have been too long of exposure, definitely under a minute."

I tilted my head, looking back down at the kid.

"Yeah, he'll probably only need a dose of four and ten before he leaves, maybe some of six and fourteen throughout the next week or so according to pain."

Poppy raised an eyebrow at me,

"Ten? Why ten?"

I pointed at the slight movement in his wand hand.

"He's going to have a psychosomatic twitch if we don't do something, and Ten would have the most oomph to soften the impact of Fours usual side effect, which would have worsened that."  
She nodded thoughtfully,

"I see, I see."

Then her head jerked back up at me, eyeing my posture with wide eyes.

"Mara! Are you-"

I shook my head, eyeing the ministry officials out of the corner of my eye. It took ten minutes for Dumbledore to pry all of the people away from the unconscious witness and get them to his office. Sirius had settled into the chair beside Harry a bit before that and the kids outside were repelled for the day, told they could come back the next day and that Harry was fine.

I had discreetly sent a patronus to the twins already, grimly assuring them that Harry was going to be fine and that I would explain what was happening personally the moment I was able. It would probably be the next day before I could give them the unedited version. As it was my forced physical activity and intense magic use was weighing on me. I'd wanted to drop for a while already, the only thing keeping me upright and ramrod straight was iron clad will. The moment I was sure that all of the political idiots were gone and all that was left was Sirius, Poppy, and Harry I let myself collapse onto a bed, deepening my breathing and closing my eyes. Poppy was at my side in an instant, clucking.

"What did you do to yourself this time?"  
I mumbled and she poked me in admonishment. I sighed before clarifying,

"I said I ran several hundred feet and hurdled over a wall. The the thing with the wards..."

From the sound she made at me she was going to be furious over that for a good while. I tuned out her words, muscles finally untensing and spine relaxing. Yes, Voldemort was back to power despite my best efforts, but Cedric was alive, and so was Harry. Poppy was still speaking when I faded out of consciousness, making a mental note to ask the Doctor for theories of who could be fucking with our plans _now_.

 **~TimeLordOfPie**


	33. Chapter 33

It took three days for it to filter down through the grapevine that Pettigrew had escaped. I hadn't put it together earlier but of course he had. Perhaps I should have paid a bit more attention to the story as Harry was telling it, then I would have noted the mention of 'Wormtail' and consciously realized he had escaped Ministry custody. Sometimes I'm an idiot. But once I'd put it together and heard of how he'd snuck onto the grounds to enchant the portkey I went on the warpath. If the ministry had warned us beforehand then we could have increased security. I could have found him through the wards instead of stalking Skeeter. My rage was nothing compared to Sirius' in this case. He up and punched the Minister in the face, which is how he ended up losing the Defense Against the Dark Arts position. Due to the curse it was known that he couldn't stay for long but still, it had been nice to hope that the destruction of the Diadem would mean the breaking of that voodoo. He got to finish out the year but the Governors made it clear that he wasn't welcome back next year unless he was in the capacity of a Student's guardian.

I spent a week or so in the hospital wing, the first part with Harry. Once he left I was kept behind by Poppy for 'observation'. Students visited me, which was nice. Homework was also brought so that I could help them but I couldn't escape so I went with it. I ended up having to assist with essays for History of Magic that Binns had handed out. It was a relief when I was finally granted freedom, feeling better than I had in a long while. Apparently the extended rest had allowed me to recover better than the other times before...exactly as Poppy had been telling me it would.

The end of the year feast was grim. At least in this reality it was _only_ because of the dark lord's return, rather than a memorial service for a student. I watched the proceedings with a blank face, examining the people in front of me for doubt. Most were unsure if Dumbles was to be believed. Some, namely a good number of Slytherins, looked torn. They didn't know what to think of this. On one hand some of their families were in a position to make a profit, or lose miserably yet again. On the other hand they could finally pay for their betrayal from last time. Halfway through the feast a young Ravenclaw had a breakdown and had to be escorted out by a Prefect. I poked my food viciously with a fork, only to pause when Sirius spoke up from my right.

"You know Mara, no one would blame you, if you went back to America now that all... _this_ is going on."

I rolled my eyes, pointing my fork at him,

"Shut up and eat your pie, Canine. I'm not going anywhere."

He opened his mouth to say something else so I shoved a plate towards him.

"Pie."

There were eyes on us at the staff table, gauging my reaction to his question. I ignored them the best I could, going on with my meal and leaving at the next possible opportunity. I was only in my room for a minimum of five minutes before there was a knock at the door. I opened it with a wave of my hand, not bothering to drop any of the floating calculations. At this point speculation about Voldemort would make sense, I needn't bother about getting caught. The person at the door wasn't who I expected. Rather than Sirius, hell bent on convincing me to go home, it was Harry. He looked around the place suspiciously before stepping inside.

"You're not leaving?"

"Erm, no?"

"Sirius said he was going to try to convince you it was too dangerous."

I snorted in a very unladylike fashion, gesturing at the portrait of the Doctor.

"Did he ever tell you a story, any story, about an adventure we went on?"  
Harry nodded, his eyes lighting up.

"But he never gave specifics, like where you were or who you were fighting."

I shrugged,

"Doesn't matter, what you should take away from that is that Voldemort doesn't scare me."

"You don't get it, he isn't _human_."

"In this case all monsters are human, Harry. I've seen things you wouldn't believe, lost things you could never understand. I know things, secrets that must never be told, knowledge that must never be spoken. Your villain doesn't really compare to some of it. So, no. I won't be running away. I'm going to stand and fight, right here beside you. Because like it or not, you are a teenager and the fate of the world doesn't actually rest on your shoulders, no matter what anyone might tell you, or how it might feel."

Ignoring the amused look the Doctor gave me for stealing his past words I beckoned forwards a few nonsense numbers and letters in languages Harry wouldn't understand.

"I've already started planning. Snakey isn't going to know what hit him. But the real problem right now is the Ministry. My influence, or rather that of my moles', doesn't go far enough to get anything done yet. I'm looking at maybe at least this coming Christmas, perhaps a bit later, before the whole thing is in the palm of my hand."

He looked at the numbers and letters with a look in his eyes that I understood immediately.

"I'm not going to leave you out of the loop."

His head snapped over to look at me, eyes wide. I sighed,

"Others tell you that you're a child, that you don't need to know what's going on, they keep secrets from you. And then they turn around and expect you to do something about it since you've had nothing but miraculous success so far. However, like it or not, you're involved. I said before that you're a child and you won't be fighting alone, or at all if I can help it, but you won't be left wandering cluelessly either."

There was a bit of hesitation before he pointed at the numbers floating in front of him.

"What's all this then?"

"Mostly the werewolf stuff and how I plan to use it politically. I feel horrible about it, but it'll get us places. Voldie used a potential 'cure' to get werewolves to his side, and I do beleive that will be the plan once again. Thing is, if we do it first…"

He gave me a nod of understanding, a sad expression on his face.

"I hate it. All of it. The politics, the lies, the fighting."

I gave a small half-smile.

"Me too kid, me too."

There was a knock on the doorframe and Sirius stuck his head inside, looking at the two of us quizzically.

"Am I interrupting something?"  
When Harry didn't respond I piped up,

"Oh, only our nefarious planning on usurping your government using time travel, flamingos, and mad rabbits."

Harry nodded sagely,

"Indeed. Important stuff."

The ex-professor rolled his eyes at us, jerking his thumb out towards the hallway behind him.

"It's getting late, pup. Why don't you head back to the tower."

It wasn't phrased as a question and the kid picked up on that pretty quickly, scrambling out the door, waving to me on the way out and mouthing a quick 'thank you'. I gave him a thumbs up and a smile as he disappeared out the door before turning to his godfather.

I stared at the man until he finally sighed, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand.

"How are we progressing on the serum?"

I smirked, enjoying my victory as I pulled up the information, walking him through the progress we'd made since including a potions master and an herbologist. The Doctor was practically bouncing with excitement, pointing out any bits he deemed 'cool'. The relationship between the Doctor and Sirius was a complicated thing. While they had different views on several things they were also both children at heart and terrifyingly competent when angered. It made a heartwarming scene, the two of them arguing magical concepts in my sitting room.

The summer started out mostly like the previous one. I cleaned everything religiously and then went to creating lesson plans. The school year had been a learning experience for me as well as the kids. This was the first year that I'd had to do different curriculums for each year level. Now I knew mostly what worked and what wasn't strictly a good idea. I apparently had too much free time what with not teaching any year lower than third and being a toss up between Arithmancy, Ancient Runes, Care of Magical Creatures, and Divination anyway. I now had to teach an elective. I had at first, when reading the books/watching the movies, assumed that the above mentioned classes _were_ the electives. I was wrong. 'Electives' here are classes that don't count towards OWL's or any other form of standardized testing, they're only any good for curiosity or looking good on a résumé. I now was being called on by the governors and the ministry to teach an 'elective' that focused solely on what muggles thought about magic throughout history. It was similar to history of magic, only, from the muggles point of view. How muggles perceived magic, and where they saw it in everyday life. My normal classes were history, plain and simple, completely as the muggles saw it. Now I was going to have to go into detail on witch hunts and muggle wiccans.

I was almost positive that it was supposed to counterbalance my other class. This one wouldn't look good for the muggles. They literally hunted down things out of the ordinary to throw them in rivers or set them on fire. Well, joke's on these people, I plan on showing at least one episode of Supernatural and teaching them about _that_ version of stuff just to take up a semester. Hey, some consider fandom a 'cult'. Seriously though, salt circles and holy water were legit, I'd checked. I would also have to tell about Salem though, but they'd already heard of it in Charms when they learned that charm that made flames tickle. From what I'd seen the witch hunts were mostly a joke for actual trained witches, but that just makes it horrible looking, with muggles misplacing blame and murdering their own.

Either way I was pissy that the governors were making me teach more classes. I was also sort of pissy about my class being certified for OWL testing, but honestly it meant I was doing my job properly. Apparently there's an OWL and NEWT test for my subject but since it hasn't been taught at Hogwarts no one was getting the rating. It wasn't looked on well for most jobs around here anyway so it didn't really matter unless you wanted something to do with muggles. If that was the case then there were absolute bullshit Ministry courses that you could take and get a certificate. It was so uncommon that the Governors put off hiring someone at Hogwarts to teach it on the grounds that it wasn't exactly necessary and it would free up a bit of the budget. The _only_ reason it was being taught now was because Dumbles pulled some strings and played the 'you fucked up her memory' card.

I was ranting about it to Molly one day when Arthur waltzed in from his muggle toy playground, brandishing some wires and looking thrilled when he saw me. From there things kind of spiraled until there was an explosion from the twins room. The three of us sat in silence for a second before Molly started shouting. She was halfway up the stairs when the fireplace flared green, signaling a floo call. She practically sprinted back down to take it, eventually stepping through to speak in person. Arthur and I exchanged confused looks before I decided I'd outstayed my welcome. The next day I received a letter that said the damage the twins did with that explosion was more extensive than they'd assumed at first and they weren't allowing visitors for the next while, staying with 'Muriel' while it was being fixed. I knew better. They'd moved to Grimmauld. The Order was officially back together, and I wasn't invited.

Hurtful, but not completely unexpected. I didn't exactly appear useful to them, or perhaps I wasn't 'trustworthy'. Without my visits to the Burrow or my classes I had much more free time for my research and workouts. My health was back to normal, I was functioning at the same level as before the World Cup, once again able to run from every police force on the planet, and many others besides. Halfway through the fourth week after the Burrow went under 'construction' I was invited to lunch at the Leaky Cauldron with Percy. Straight out of the flames I knew something was wrong with him. I set up wards as best as possible to prevent eavesdropping and flopped down into the booth opposite him.

"Spill, kid. What's got you looking so nervous?"  
He lasted about six seconds of direct eye contact.

"I've moved out of my parents house."

I raised an eyebrow at him over the menu in my hands.

"Well yeah, everyone has. Molly says you're all living with Muriel while-"

He waved his hand, snorting,

"Yeah, no. Erm, I mean, well, that's not what I meant. I mean, I am no longer living in a home owned by family. I'm staying in a place in London. To be closer to work, you see."

Complete bullshit. Floo travel. Apparating. Distance didn't mean shit to wizards, he knew I was aware of this. Kid was dropping hints for me, how cute.

I rolled my eyes behind the menu so he couldn't see it,

"Good on you, I guess. If you need help with anything I'm a floo call or a letter away."

I managed to get a good bit of information on the Ministry from him in the next half hour. I also verified that he believed Harry. The fact that I'd pointed out the damage of dark curses and had the portkey and it's purpose thoroughly checked, but not really the secondary location, revealed meant a lot. It isn't possible for someone to 'Crucio' themselves. Magic doesn't allow for it. Just like suicide by magic. It takes powerful dark rituals to use one's own magic to kill themselves, or hurt themselves extensively. And frankly, a fourth year just isn't capable of those, miraculous defeat of a dark lord or not.

I also managed to schedule a time for Apparition lessons at the ministry. Apparently some people aren't able to learn at school for some reason or another and the ministry holds both classes and certification seminars during the summer. The Doctor was particularly excited about me learning that bit of magic. I'd be able to appear and disappear just like the TARDIS. We had a lot of careful experimentation planned on whether or not somewhere I'd been before in the other dimension I could go in this dimension by Apparating. If so then there were some rather interesting encounters in my future, not to mention several destroyed Horcruxes.

 **~TimeLordOfPie**


	34. Chapter 34

I received no letters from the children after they entered Grimmauld Place. Any letter I tried to send Harry got no reply. Same for any of the Weasleys and Hermione. Also with Sirius and even occasionally with Remus. The samples he sent me were getting fewer, as well as his letters. It was frustrating, but I honestly had enough left over that I should be good either way. This was probably somewhere near what Harry had felt, being left out of the loop. Then again, _I_ could leave the Castle.

I had passed, and gotten my license. I was allowed to 'poof' places now. I often went out of the castle, wandering around to find places that I had been with the Doctor. I went to shops, bought things that I needed for potions, bought clothes, and books as well. I became a published author during this time, sending in some of the things I used for class, history books and muggle studies books put into terms that wizards could easily understand. I also did a rather fun book, a 'magic to muggle' dictionary. It explained some things that you shouldn't ask muggles for, and what _not_ to say, as well as how to phrase what you may need to actually ask. There were also flagged bits of when to get the hell out of there because you've been acting a bit too odd and they've noticed. The publisher told me that the cover was enchanted to appear as a guidebook for wherever they were should a muggle catch them consulting it.

While that's all well and good I still hadn't made much more progress on finding the Horcruxes. I couldn't very well leave the grounds and go somewhere that I couldn't explain for several hours. Also, finding the ring on my own would be a bit of a doozy, especially if there were still death eaters hanging out at Riddle Manor, which was pretty close to the Gaunt shack if the books were to be believed.

The start of the school year once again snuck up on me, though luckily Harry wasn't temporarily expelled like in the books. Kind of hard to send dementors after him when he's holed up somewhere under the Fidelius charm or being followed around by his ex-auror of a godfather. I hadn't spoken to any of those who were locked up in Grimauld for months. The entire summer. Sirius had ignored my letters, and I was furious with him for that, but I could understand why. The fidelius charm likely gave owls fits as it was. My usual seat between Minerva and Sirius didn't exist anymore, so I ended up sitting down between Snape and the empty Defense teachers chair. The students had yet to appear and the teachers were quietly talking amongst themselves until Umbridge arrived.

That _woman_ still managed to get a position at Hogwarts. Fudge was still denying the return of Voldemort, hushing up the evidence of the portkey and the dark magic inflicted damage on Harry. He would be proved wrong once Harry's interview with the Quibbler happened, so I wasn't particularly worried about that bit yet. Voldemort would likely be more complacent if the magical world believed him to still be dead. He'd want to keep up the ruse, to keep it all quiet until he was ready to really make waves. But I wasn't worried about that yet. What I _was_ worried about was the devil in pink that was going to be running amok in _my_ school.

She gave, from what I could tell, the exact same speech as in the book. It's not like I had it memorized, but the gist of it was the same. From the corner of my eye I saw the students at the Gryffindor table being filled in by Hermione. I'd also caught them sending glances my way once or twice, but I ignored it. If they needed help they knew where to find me. As it was I was too busy glaring a hole into the back of Umbridge's head.

I ate silently, leaving as soon as I could, not wanting to get sucked into conversation with the woman. I spent the next while preparing my classroom, making sure I had lesson plans set aside that she would approve of just in case she ever got it into her head to observe one of my classes. It felt a bit like hiding from her, cowering. But I was playing it smart, that's the only way I could think of it. I wouldn't be any use outside of the castle.

Harry's year had my class late on Monday's and early on Fridays. On Monday it was directly after Defense Against the Dark Arts, and on Friday it was right before. This meant that on Monday I got a lot of bitch faces staring at me before I could even begin my 'it's your OWL year' tirade.

I pouted, crossing my arms.

"Alright, who spit in your porridge?"  
Surprisingly, it was Ron who spoke. "Umbridge, that's who."

I raised an eyebrow and Seamus piped up,

"She won't even let us use our wands. In a defense class!"

The Slytherin across the aisle from him, a girl named Alice, nodded her head,

"Told us to read from a book! Just...just bookwork!"

I raised my eyes to the heavens, sighing.

"I suppose it's going to be more of a self study year for you, again, isn't it?"  
I let that sink in before adding,

"If there's ever a real problem with her just come find me. Or if you need help with the subject."

I twirled my wand between my fingers,

"Now! On with the show!"

I set the wand down on my desk, waving for the chalk to start doing its thing.

"You guys have the misfortune of being the first group at Hogwarts since _Dumbledore_ to take this class on OWL level. Congrats."

Hermione's expression just _screamed_ that she would be setting impossible records. All power to her.

"Now, I have a rather loose syllabus on what the OWL examination is expecting of you, and I say _loose_ because they gave me time periods rather than exact points or key events, the pugknuts."

Ron mouthed the last word to himself, grinning slightly. I smothered my own, turning to pick up the book from my desk.

"You got the book? Goooood, turn to page 415."

They did so, looking confused as to why they would be starting at the back of the book.

"This is a timeline of all that the book covers. Now, this book doesn't have _all_ of the material needed because the committee that made the exam this year, again, pugknuts. The library, like it does every three years, got an influx of new material because of a grant fund started several hundred years ago by a relative of a fourth year Hufflepuff you may know. Among all of this new material are several copies of a few books I requested be added and these are going to be essential in completing your homework in an acceptable manner. You may want to write down the titles now."

Hermione looked ready to faint. The last time the library got an influx of new books, or replaced well used ones, she had been a second year and likely wouldn't have been informed, or perhaps had been too busy with the whole Chamber of Secrets/getting petrified thing. I could sense where she would be going the moment this class let out. I empathized with her, I really did. I had been nosing around the new stuff in the restricted section already, perks of being a teacher.

I outlined the stuff we were going to be going over, the dates I was giving tests, and a guestimated timeline of when we should be studying which time period. When it came time to leave I gave them my best sorrowful expression.

"I regret to inform you that the homework load this year from me will increase. Dramatically. I apologize for that, but it's the only way I can think of to help prepare you for these exams. I'll need half a foot of parchment on early muggle philosophers. It's a rather vague assignment, take advantage of that. If you need help, there are those books I mentioned at the beginning of class and of course, you know where to find me."  
I was cleaning off my desk when I finally noticed that a few students had stayed behind. Namely, a certain three. I flopped down in my chair, raising an eyebrow at Harry,

"Can I help you?"  
He grimaced, fiddling with the edges of his sleeves for a second.

"I'm sorry we didn't write you over the summer, we weren't allowed to."

I shrugged,

"I can understand why _you_ didn't, Sirius mentioned at Christmas that the house was protected. Those particular protections befuddle owls and make it difficult to send and receive post."

He didn't stop his fiddling.

"Yeah, well, I was just wondering...was there anything I missed? That you had planned?"  
Ah. I could see in his stance and expression that he expected to be turned away. He must assume that since I had been ignored all summer I would be writing him out of my plans. Fat chance. If I shared then he would share. No way was I operating without knowing where this kid was. Miscommunication as a plot device was practically a crime in my mind.

I waved my hand, shutting the door and pulling up advanced wards. That done I pulled a runestone out of my desk, setting it down on the middle of the flat surface and activating it with a touch of my finger. The Star Trek-like lines and words appeared, getting the desired awe from this particular crowd. Hermione looked like she was fit to burst with all of her questions, but managed to hold them back. I walked the three of them through my progress on the cure, telling them what steps were left as well as what I had left to do at the Ministry.

"That project of mine poses a problem at the moment. You see, Umbridge is here. I don't like her, you don't like her, no one likes her. But the Ministry can't be denied. With Umbridge here keeping such a close eye on everything I'm a bit limited."

At the expressions on their faces I continued quickly,

"Not that I'm giving up, I'm just extending the timeline and getting sneakier."

They left a little bit later after swearing they wouldn't tell what they'd learned. I saw them later that day at dinner, plotting amongst themselves. I could only imagine what they had up their sleeves. Hopefully it would be the formation of Dumbledore's Army, though I never was sure how early in the year that had happened. Once they started using the room of requirement I would have to lay off. That was a bit irritating but it was more important that they form deep bonds with the other students and for all of them to learn to defend themselves. Those were important skills to learn, even if I did plan on never letting the war get far enough to touch them.

ALL MY STORIES ON HIATUS UNTIL NOVEMBER 2017. I'm sorry, really and truly, but it's unavoidable. Guaranteed chapters for all stories at the end of November.

 **~TimeLordOfPie**


	35. Chapter 35

To my eternal surprise it was perhaps two weeks after that day in my classroom that the so called 'Golden Trio' was once again darkening my doorstep, only this time the doorstep of my personal rooms. It was a Saturday and I'd only just gotten up the will to get out of bed, still wearing the plaid pajama set that I'd bothered to buy the last time I was near a muggle shopping center. The book I'd been reading was clutched in one hand, my second cup of coffee for the day in the other. From the looks on their faces it was obvious they were thinking a retreat might be in order, Ron especially. Before they could back out I sighed and waved them in,

"Well come on, don't just stand outside."

The Doctor was gone at the moment, his portrait left humming that gentle sound of the TARDIS. I had never been more grateful to Severus Snape than when I couldn't sleep and I was able to just sit next to the painting and _listen_ to the ambient sounds of that wonderful box that had been both home and escape. Now it was mostly ignored by the kids as they settled in onto the mismatched chairs around the room. I sat on the desk, beside where Hermione was perched on the desk chair clutching the small cup of tea I'd provided. All of them held an air of awkward to them and I was torn between letting them stew and forcing the conversation to move along. The three were having some sort of silent communication, apparently continuing an old argument right up to the end of the line. Eventually it was Hermione who gave in, huffing,

"Oh, grow up you two." She turned to me, a fire burning in her eyes that told me yes, she would have made a damn fine companion if she were ever given the chance. "We came here to ask for your help."

I stirred the potion that was brewing on a rickety looking table at the edge of my living room with a slight twirl of my fingers, letting it give off a loud whistling sound and send up bits of lavender smoke as I raised an eyebrow.

"My help? What could you need help with, there aren't any bit assignments due for any of your classes that I'm aware of."

Ron made a face that told me he disagreed, muttering under his breath something about HIstory of Magic and bloody goblin rebellions before Hermione cut him off with a _look_. When she turned back to me she motioned to Harry vaguely, who blushed down to the roots of his hair as she spoke.

"With setting up our...club of sorts. Harry here has agreed to teach Defense to students who will agree to the secrecy of it all."

Harry seemed to be bracing himself for teasing, or some sort of derogatory comment so instead I shrugged with one shoulder,

"Seems like a sound idea, you have a knack for evading the dark even when you aren't properly equipped or trained for the situation. Nothing really outstripps good old ingenuity."

I put the mug down beside me, empty now, and then looked back up at the three teenagers who had invaded my rooms.

"But that doesn't tell me what you need help with. I mean, you _could_ need a teacher to sponsor your club but Flitwick would be a better bet in the end, he was a dueling champion anyway."

Hermione just huffed,

"This can't be an official club, you saw what Umbridge was like, outlawing all sorts of things and Dumbledore not able to do anything about it. What we need is maybe some help with the setting up, and keeping out of trouble, as well as a place to meet."

Ron piped up, appearing hopeful from his seat on the footstool of the armchair Harry had beaten him to upon their arrival.

"I suggested we use your classroom, that way if we're caught we can just say you gave us all detention, and that way she couldn't touch us but Hermione said that wouldn't be good for you."

I mulled it over for a second before shaking my head.

"Probably not, she'd realize what was going on and likely find a way to undermine us, most likely by getting me fired somehow. I don't have the cleanest record you know. At best I would be deported, at worst there's a cell in Azkaban with my name on it, 'treason' if they figure out what I've been doing at the ministry, citizen or not."

The three were pale at that point, Ron shaking his head emphatically,

"So no classroom then."

"No. But…"

The room of requirement was what they used last time, but was it the only option? And honestly, was I really supposed to know of it's existence? The only reasons they could possibly need it in the future were scenarios that went along with the war continuing as it had before, with Harry hunting horcruxes and Dumbledore's Army fighting Death Eaters at Hogwarts. Theoretically they would never need it now that I'd changed so much. Then again, it was useful to them. And honestly where else could they find that no one else knew the location of, or that could get into? Wait...hold on.

"Where in the castle is a location that you know how to get to, that you feel no one else does?"

They exchanged meaningful looks until Harry spoke up,

"There's the Shrieking Shack. We could ferry them out to Hogsmeade, but the time it would take would put a dent in the time we would have for practice. And up our chances of getting caught, I'm sure."

"So that's a no then, where else?"

"Um...there are plenty of hidden places we've been, I'm sure, but most of them are just hidden in the traditional sense."

Here he whipped out the Marauder's Map, which from the other's reactions they were aware I knew of it, and started pointing out places. I slipped off the desk to look over his shoulder at it, eyes finding the second floor and grinning when there was nothing so much as hinting at a secret place on the second floor.

I tapped on the image of the bathroom that held the ghost of a girl from fifty years ago,

"Thought Ron said there was a teacher that hexed himself in some dingy chamber around here, where's the chamber? Does it not show up on the map for some reason?"  
The three of them froze and then the other two leapt to look at the map, Ron groaning after a second,

"But, but, that would be _horrible_ , how are we supposed to even...we can't!" He looked slightly triumphant after a second, "We can't because parts of the place collapsed and there was no way out besides a Phoenix, and I can't see Fawkes taking us out three at a time each time we meet."

I gave him a funny look,

"Or I could transfigure some stairs?"

He deflated once again and Hermione seemed to be thinking hard enough to almost burst a blood vessel. I turned to Harry,

"You opened it with Parseltongue, correct? Could you say the word that opened it?"  
I was cheating a bit here, but the moment he managed to get the word to come out in the right language I parroted it back, purposefully accenting it slightly, though not taking from the meaning. The other two teenagers were looking at me wide eyed and I just looked back at Harry smugly.

"That's a language that can be taught, it doesn't have to be bred in, I think. Most likely the reason no one has learned is because all the other descendents haven't bothered trying to teach it, assuming themselves special or something. Harry here can teach others, Lieutenants if you will, how to open the chamber. That way someone different can set up, and someone different can close, each night and there's less of a chance of any single person being caught doing it."

The idea was only half formed when I pitched it to the kids but Hermione truly was the brightest witch of her age, running with it the moment her metaphorical feet hit the ground.

"Oh, just think of it Harry! There's an entire language to be learned that no one else can speak, or divine! Well, only Voldemort, but he isn't exactly here right now, is he?"

When she finally got off that soapbox, that we had let her go on about with fond looks on our faces, she turned to me and held out a Galleon, going into her spellwork on it and now that I actually knew what it was and the intricacies of casting it I was suitably impressed.

"Well done, this is amazing. I had thought of doing some perception filters, that is, some spellwork that would keep you guys from being noticed and when you mentioned your messenger coin I'd hoped they could be added to it, but this is entirely too delicate and precise to meddle with."

She practically glowed under the praise before jumping into scheming with me, leaving the boys to look on in confusion.

"Professor, how would this...perception filter work?"

"Let's just go with Mara when we're scheming in private, alright? And think of it as an ultimate 'notice me not' enchantment. I'm thinking we can experiment with some that can be activated as sorts of...invisibility cloaks only with eyes just skittering off someone or accepting that they're there and not thinking anything of it. It would work to help people get to and from the meetings. But that would take entirely too many enchantments for an object small enough to carry easily on their person easily and still last. So instead how about we work with the wards?"

"You mean restrict access unless they have a coin?"  
"Sort of, I mean adding in a different object, such as a friendship bracelet of sorts. The wards around the second floor would activate after a certain time, keeping people away, like a muggle repelling charm, unless they were in contact with the bracelet or whatever. That way patrols will avoid it, but think that they patrolled there, and the people getting there won't be caught near the actual meeting point, if they managed to get caught at all."

She ran with the experiment straight to the library. It was three days before I saw her again without her nose pressed in a book. She didn't pay attention during my class, but it wasn't like I could fault her for it, it was a project I had given her after all. That third day she came to my office on her own, the boys apparently off doing something quidditch related. I welcomed her in and she took a seat, setting out the pages and beginning almost before I could start to read what they contained.

"I had those already involved sign a contract, but the fallout from breaking it wouldn't extend to giving up their charm because the charms didn't exist when the contract is made. So to close that little security hole I thought we could tune the charm with someone's magic, since blood is a bit dark when you get down to it."

We got to working on the runestones almost immediately, with Hermione recruiting Fred and George to make a Wednesday trip to Hogsmeade in order to pick up appropriate supplies. Some people we would ask to present their own necklace or bracelet to enchant so that everyone wasn't wearing something that matched, which could give us all away, but identical ones to test on and some for Harry and myself who had nothing non-precious to enchant in the first place wouldn't go amiss.

It took a week and a half to get it all finalized, and that was mostly because we had to scratch all of it and start over once we realized it would all work on humans but that Mrs. Norris was a giant pain in the ass who existed. I was able to help tighten it by testing it on myself in animagus form, to be sure that wasn't a loophole. We were pretty sure Umbridge wasn't an animagus, but no detail was to be overlooked.

A lot of the planning and testing happened in either my classroom or my office, and it was during this time that I slipped in the fact that my floo was unmonitored because of my finagling with the wards, planting the idea in their heads just in case things went the way they had before despite my best efforts. It was during that same session that Ron posed the interesting query of how they were supposed to know if someone got caught without hearing it from them and knowing to be cautious the next time or something. There were all sorts of ways that could go wrong, and it was Harry pointing to the Marauder's Map that sparked an argument between himself and Hermione.

"Harry, we can't possibly know if they were confronted or not, and then let go, with suspicions following them, or if they escaped, until it may be too late! The map is useful, but it cannot be the only backup we have!"

I, meanwhile, was doing some scans of the map. It was an ingenious bit of spellwork, but it was made by school children. School children who likely had little to no idea they'd accidentally connected the map to the wards of the castle in order to get those kinds of accurate readings. It sparked an idea somewhere that had me pulling up blank parchment and throwing as many of the enchantments I could feel from the map as possible at it.

The students stopped their bickering and turned to watch as it formed, style different, more my handwriting than a hodgepodge of four teenage boys, but there. The particular wording that allowed it to mimic the castle was stolen, making it less of a great piece of enchantment and more of a farce, but time was not on my side. Instead of connecting it to the lifesigns of the wards I instead reached for the jumble of charms that laid on my desk, recently given power and attached to the wards of the second floor. The jumble of charms appeared as lights on the map and I tilted the paper to show it to them.

"What we have here is a bastardization of that lovely piece of magic you have, and it shows the charms. I'll name them each in a bit, based on the labels we already have on the charms, that way we'll know if someone drops theirs, where it is, and if they get it confiscated. We'll be able to steal it back that way as well, hopefully before anyone cracks into the enchantments."

As I made the changes to show the names of the charms on the map I couldn't help but wonder why no one had attempted to copy the map before coming to the conclusion that they had. The twins would likely have tried a geminus spell to duplicate it so they would each have one, but it would have resisted the various forms of it because that was built into it's magic. There was a defense against _copying_ it, but not against making a completely new one with the same spells. More or less.

Several times I caught them speaking in low tones about how this sort of charm would work wonders on security within the Order, but they dropped off the moment I was close, subject changes random and sometimes almost impressively smooth.

The next issue was cleaning out the Chamber of Secrets. I was left to do this mostly on my own because the kids had homework and other obligations such as quidditch. Really it was in my best interests to do it alone, because then I could get Zoopy to help. I took the time to explain to Zoopy that we had to pretend we hadn't been there before, and then get him to help me enchant the slide so that it was an escalator whenever someone said certain key words over it. Cleaning was infinitely easier with the help of a house elf, as was smuggling out the Basilisk and all it's parts.

After communicating with Harry over it we decided to sell the parts on the black market and use the proceeds to help Dumbledore's Army, as well as the kids in it. There was now a rather scary large fund in place to help anyone in the little club should they be having issues. From school books and bail money, to holey socks they were now covered. When I pointed out to Harry the money was really his since he slayed the Basilisk he turned red and pointed out that I risked life and limb to sell it in some of the sleaziest places on Earth.

For the handing out of the Galleons and trinkets we needed to get some people away in private, I was able to do this by assigning a project and then doing individual consultations by picking names out of a hat. Randomosity doesn't exist when one can do wandless nonverbal magic, but hey, they believed me. And I threw in a few real consultations for those that actually needed help as well, just to throw people off. Some had detention with other teachers that I snagged, others I got myself for more or less legitimate reasons. A few of those I included weren't necessarily part of it yet, just prospects, one in particular that I was going to have to fight for.

I stopped him before the detention where a trinket would be made for him, and the others would be introduced to him, keeping him before he left class.

"Mister Malfoy, could I see you for a second?"

Long ago he had stopped having a house member wait for him outside, knowing that any conversation of ours was going to be no danger to him and would likely turn into a debate that would outlast their minute patience. This time he looked nervous, fidgeting with piece of parchment that had the evenings assignment on it, glancing at the door.

"I can't stay long Professor, I have Umbridge next."

I winced in sympathy before nodding,

"I let everyone out early so that I'd have enough time to talk to you, and worst comes to worst I'll take you there and be your walking talking excuse note. For now I have a question for you."

I waited a second for him to stop fidgeting before leaning forwards in my seat,

"Do you truly believe that Light will fall to the Dark in this war?"

He stuttered for a second, trying to go for haughty, drawing himself up to his full height before meeting my unimpressed gaze and deflating a bit, eyes darting to the still open door. With a thought I snapped it closed, wards already in place, but he didn't know that of course.

He looked at me warily now, shrugging one shoulder.

"I think that Potter has some ridiculous luck...and that the light has a few reasonably powerful people fighting for it." Draco looked out the window for a second before glancing back at me, "But I also think that the Dark Lord is insane, and insanely powerful. He won't care if the fight will cost him too much, he just wants the destruction. He doesn't think he can lose, and that's probably what will cause his defeat. But the light is going to lose so much in the battles, that no one will really win in the end."

It was more honesty than I could have hoped for, and remarkably similar to what had happened in the story that I'd read in another world. Before I could respond he continued, turning his body back to me and giving me his full attention.

"I think you could make the difference, you know. Wandless magic, warding spells with little effort, a brilliant mind. Whatever side you choose, the scales will tip in their favour, I'm sure of it."

I snorted,

"I'm flattered you think so, I really am, but what makes you think that I haven't chosen a side yet?"

He raised an eyebrow,

"So you have? He-who-must-not-be-named doesn't think so."

My blood ran cold and I could practically hear it rushing through my veins, thundering along louder than the Hungarian Horntail had roared. I kept my breath from stuttering only barely and fixed Draco with a curious look.

"You've heard him speak of me specifically?"

He twitched uncomfortably, eyeing the door again before responding.

"Professor...I like you, I do. You're my favorite teacher aside from my Godfather, and I want to tell you these things, but I could be killed! My family could be killed, I can't just...I've said too much already as it is."

I dug around in my desk for a second before tossing the panicking child a chocolate frog.

"Relax, he won't kill your family, think about it. They've got just the kind of funds that he needs to keep his war going, and he can't get to it if they're dead. As far as he's concerned both of them are loyal to the core, you as well. No one suspects you, and if they do suspect you they'll comfort your parents about it and expect it to be a fluke, not the rule. You don't have to tell me anything that you know, hell, I didn't stop you with the purpose of interrogating you, I just wanted you to join our little pseudo vigilante group to drive Umbridge out of her fucking gord and help you people pass your Defense OWLs."

He blinked, first at the frog, then at me.

"What?"  
I sighed,

"There's a defense club, meeting in secret, we've got a badass hideout and everything. It's only for learning Defense Against the Dark Arts, since Umbridge isn't teaching dick. You can't talk about it, and you'll have to sneak around at night, but do you really think you guys can pass OWL's with the bullshit she's teaching you?"

He struggled with it for a second before sighing explosively, tugging at the strap to his bag and looking at me with the saddest expression I'd seen on his face yet.

"There's more to this than just learning, isn't it?"  
"Well I already said it was to drive Umbridge out of her gord, didn't I? It's a rebellion, a low-key sort of thing, but a rebellion all the same. If you don't want to be involved then that's fine, I understand. But the future is bleak and we need to stand together or Voldemort's madness is going to drown all of us in rivers of innocent blood. Now if you'd like to get in on the Anarchy then show up for detention here, tonight at six, say it was for attitude."

He left quickly and I expected that to be the end of it. It wasn't. That night the room was filled with chattering students, hardly the usual atmosphere for detention, and there was a stir of a familiar presence at the wards. I snapped my fingers and the room went quiet to watch the door creak open, Draco Malfoy walking in, clutching his bag against his shoulder with one hand, his wand in the other, looking vaguely terrified. Every Gryffindor in the room leapt to their feet, wands pointing his way and before they could blink those wands were laid out in a neat row on my desk. I scowled at them,

"Sit down, that's no way to treat someone." I smiled at him, motioning him to a desk near the front. "Everyone take a seat, let's get this started."

The glares directed at Malfoy didn't die down, and I had to clear my throat twice to get everyone's attention again. When I finally had it I glowered at the room,

"Every single person in here is present because they dislike the resident ministry hag and how she operates. Every person here agrees that war is upon us and ignoring it is no way to live to see another day. Every person here is preparing to take up arms to defend themselves or their families, and there is _no_ exception. If I invited someone here then I have taken a good long look into their hearts and decided that their intentions are trustworthy. Look around. This isn't the entirety of the group that will become Dumbledore's Army, but it's a good number."

I stood up, pointing to the hogwarts crest that was set into the stone of the wall beside my desk,

"Hogwarts is made of four houses, and each house has their merits. There is no such thing as a bad house, there are only bad apples."

Someone snorted and I singled them out, making eye contact,

"Think it's funny? Yes, Voldemort was a Slytherin, but there have been countless serial killers from Ravenclaw, betrayers from Gryffindor, and murderers from Hufflepuff. For the love of God, people, it's a school club. It represents the strongest characteristic that someone has chosen to acknowledge within themselves at age _eleven_. Who here is the exact same mental maturity as when they were eleven, huh? I should hope none of you. This unconditional hatred between houses is childish, and it's exactly what Voldemort stands for."

Someone opened their mouth to protest and I held up a hand,

"He teaches to hate muggleborns, people here teach younger generations to hate Slytherins as the most evil beings society has to offer, to look down on Hufflepuffs as weak, to see Ravenclaws as cold and calculating, and to see Gryffindors as empty headed neanderthals."

I spread my arms out as if to encompass the school,

"Well I hate to tell you, but that's all wrong. Moaning Myrtle was a Slytherin, does she look evil to you? She's tied to the land of the living by the strength of how much it _hurt_ to be bullied. Cedric Diggory was a Hufflepuff, and he stood his own against a freakin' dragon and countless other creatures in the lake and the maze. Luna Lovegood is a Ravenclaw, and one of the sweetest girls I've ever had the honor to meet. Last but not least, Gryffindor has some intelligent folks. I dare any of you to walk up to Professor McGonagall and tell her she's all brawn and no brain. Go for it, I dare ya."

Some of them looked uncomfortable so I dropped back into my seat and flicked my hand at the bucket on top of my bag, the Galleons handing themselves out.

"So let's drop the pettiness, shall we? Everyone deserves the chance to learn how to fight for their lives. The people beside you shall be your comrades in arms, at the very least theoretically. So if you're done acting like children we can get down to business."

Hermione stepped forwards and helped me explain the charms and the Galleons, some stepping forwards to have necklaces or rings they wore everyday enchanted, Draco Malfoy being the last one in the room after everyone had filtered out once getting the starting day for the DA. Harry, Ron, and Hermione were still at my desk, Harry and Ron retrieving their wands like the others had before them. Harry leaned forwards,

"Are you sure about him?"

I rolled my eyes, leaning forwards conspiratorially,

"Oh, I've got these wolf-like instincts, can practically smell lies on people. I think I know when someone is genuine."

His eyes went wide for half a second and he nodded, taking the insinuated half-lie at face value before gathering his friends and leaving, shooting Malfoy a lingering, considering look.

Draco watched them go before stepping forwards,

"I...I don't have anything to charm, if you let me have one."

"Of course you can have one, you signed the agreement, you're a full member."

I brought out a small box from the depths of my desk, flipping open the lid,

"Here, pick something."

In the end it was a small amulet, a necklace. It was a dragon, wings spread in and mouth open in a silent roar. It was light, made of some type of cheap silver, easily tucked underneath clothes. I half smiled as I tapped my wand to it a few times.

"A dragon for Draco, a bit ironic don't you think?"  
He smiled back, hesitantly pulling it over his head.

"Are you...are you sure this is a good idea?"  
"The DA?"

"No, letting me in it?"

"Psh, of course it is. We'll earn one another's loyalty soon enough. Till then, I have faith in you."

The first meeting of the DA was happening on a Saturday night, where if they were caught while working the bugs out of the trip to 'headquarters' it wasn't such a big deal as being caught on a school night.

As I was waiting for the first group to arrive I fixed the map of glowing colors to the wall and let it be a centerpiece, though you couldn't see most of it. From there I activated the runestone I'd affixed beside it, like a lightswitch, and the 3D model popped into being, the charms not there as we were all down in the unmappable Chamber of Secrets. It was a badass base, and it would set a dark sort of tone until we got to laughing and having fun. There were lights and food, and I had Zoopy help me sneak in the dummies from the Room of Requirement as well as a few shelves of books.

The DA was different in my time than from the books or movies. It became...more. True it was an 'army' before, with die hard followers, but this time it branched out. There were study groups that would meet there, safe from persecution, and there were books and shelves and tables in small corners used for research purposes. It became less of an army, and more of a family. Draco Malfoy was invited along with a study group by the Hufflepuffs, and the group grew that Thursday night until most of the DA was working on third year charms. Luna was fluttering about the center of it all, soaking up the company. She took to Draco faster than the others, as I expected, and he reacted better to her than what I thought. He entertained most of her whimsical ideas, and even helping her build along them.

Most of the DA weren't sure what to make of me. That first night they were expecting me to teach, to take charge, and were summarily surprised when I handed the reigns over to Harry.

"Here _he's_ the teacher."

For most of the lessons I was right there beside them, learning as well. When anyone asked why I didn't know a spell I would simply imply that it had been a while since I'd been in school, and that I hadn't been practicing as I should have. Oh, there were times when Harry gave the floor to me, half-remembered tales from the Doctor surfacing in his mind and coaxing him to convince me that some strange skill was needed.

Some muggle fighting was taught, little tidbits I'd picked up from Torchwood, as well as starting their education in a more complicated direction. There was an occlumency group that met, mostly being made up of the 'Lieutenants' that I had suggested, one of which was Draco Malfoy, being the only Slytherin we had at the time. It was then that Harry revealed he was taking similar lessons from Severus, which were going nowhere. He also unloaded his frustration with the Headmaster, who was ignoring him. I got a lot of confessions from him, enough that I could actually feasibly put together what I already knew in a way that would be acceptable to whoever wanted to know how I came up with shit.

Things were moving right along, until something that I had forgotten resurfaced, and Harry came to my class with his hand covered in a bandage, soaked in blood.

~TimeLordOfPie


End file.
